digital dreamers - ARCHIVED

“..You still have your room? I don't..the door is just a hole in the wall..” Jax replied.

And so casually too, as if it was just any other day.. Maybe that was a good thing, they didn't wanna have to see those photos anymore. The rabbit blinked when Pomni asked if he would sleep in her room tonight and at first they aren't sure if she’s being serious or not.

Citrine eyes peer down at the jester and one ear curves to the left, the inner shell turned to its partner. “H-Heh…I mean if you reaaaaally need ol’ Jaxxy to keep you company then, I can’t say no..don’t worry, I’ll keep the monsters away Pompom~”

Still trying to seem unfazed huh, okay maybe the mask could slip once in a while. Besides, it wasn’t satisfying anymore anyway..

There was alot Jax had been denying for so long..

He didn’t know what to think anymore..

"Honestly...I'm a little freaked out right now. The 'monsters' you're keeping away are my spiraling thoughts," she says. She's not embarrassed to admit it. It just that she wanted to make sure everyone else was okay, first. Maybe Ragatha is rubbing off on her after all.

"I'm sorry about your room, though...I can help you look for another one. Later. We can worry about that later. C'mon."

”I misstepped…and it might have cost us everything.” It cost them Caine. …It cost him Caine. Like he hadn’t failed that little AI enough.

”I…I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat, gloves swiping the tears from his eyes as he sighed in frustration. “I can’t…focus on my own failures, not right now.”

"Mmm. I'm..." She stopped herself from saying she was okay. Kinger was going through a lot, and she didn't want to bother him. She had to remind herself that he asked because he cared.

It was going to take a long time to kick the habit of hiding her feelings. If they had that time.

"I'm still kind of sore from what Caine did, but I think it's going away on its own." She brushed her hand over her button eye. She was blindsided by Caine's cruelty, especially since she never told him about her mother. The wounds he inflicted were more emotional than physical, if she had to be honest.

Each ear is pressing themselves back a little, and as if he was approaching a frightened animal..

The rabbit is down on all fours, dewlap fur given a awkward lick before they hop forward, round face pressing into her chest, feeling the racing heart below against their muzzle fur. Jax feels a little heavy against Ragatha, but he hopes it's enough to help ground her a little. Even if she had to grab onto his thicker fur around their neck or pull an ear to let out any frustrations, they be happy to allow it.

Ragatha clings to Jax and hides her face in his shoulder. A hug can't fix everything, but she needs this. She's still crying, but no longer on the verge of an anxiety attack.

She wants to be the carer, the one who comforts everyone else, but this is all beyond what she can cope with. She feels like a little kid again, holding one of her stuffed animals while hiding in her room after an overwhelming day.

He’d promised himself, he’d promised his late beloved that he’d watch over the children she never got a chance to know, these troubled adults he’d taken under his wing. They’d die. They’d all die now, if he couldn’t fucking get a hold of this situation.

Kinger didn’t anticipate the moisture to fill his eyes as his little dolly’s arms wrapped around him. He had to be strong for her. For them! But an inviting embrace was good to coax the tears.

"It's okay. It's okay. This all must have been so hard on you."

Ragatha hugged Kinger tighter. She had an idea of how he felt. She often felt responsible for the other members, especially when they were new. Kinger probably felt that tenfold, being the eldest of them. On top of that, he went through every day in a haze of confusion, with precious few moments of lucidity. He might even forget about this interaction later.

"We'll fix it somehow. I'll help. You don't have to do it all yourself," she said, but she wasn't sure of herself. This was beyond her understanding. She didn't know a spreadsheet from a .html file, let alone whatever coding was involved in creating Caine, or whatever Caine did to create the circus.

”I…I haven’t done enough.” He was supposed to save all of them, down to the miscreant that had caused this. He saved no one, he lost Caine, and he felt like he’d doomed these people he swore to protect.

His hands extended, offering an embrace to her. He wished he could think that fear was irrational, that it never would have come to pass. It was a jarring thought, that Caine would ever think to kill any of them intentionally. …But the reality was, that very well could have happened. …Another thing he had to compartmentalize for later.

”I’m still here,” was all he could finally say, wishing he could put Ragatha’s fears to rest…that he could promise he would always be here.

(He hadn’t been here…in years.)

"You don't have to be so hard on yourself..."

No, Kinger had done so much more than he thought. Ragatha might still be trapped in her personalized nightmare if he hadn't done something. Whatever happened now, at least she wouldn't be subjected to her mother again.

She was supposed to be the one to comfort Kinger, not the other way around. He did so much for her just by being there, and she couldn't do anything for him in return. It only took a few words and a kind look for her expression to crumble.

"So...how are you doing?" - Ragatha knows that no one is okay right now, but she's still going to check in on everyone.

Things were, it was safe to say, fucked up. Being able to think that was, well, new. And yet, she was free. Wasn't she?

"Ah, yeah..." For once, Ragatha couldn't think of anything nice to say. They'd all just been through the worst experience of their lives, and although the source of their pain was gone, the future looked uncertain.

She didn't know that Caine was capable of being so cruel. It didn't feel real. She didn't know which was worse: endless torment, or the circus falling apart without him.