At Your Service

Small Town Boy by Paradise Lost (Cover of Bronski Beat)

For those unfamiliar with the track, Bronski Beat's song is about a gay man who runs away from his home after being gay-bashed. The lyrics are about rejection and about folks not understanding you.

Oliver himself is, of course, a queer character so I ended up picking this song due to that reason, but also because given Oliver's backstory of being someone who has to uproot his life and basically go on to live a lie, you can reread some of the lyrics to suit how he had to reinvent himself after leaving EVER. I like the fact that this song allows for both a sort of celebration of his identity as a bi trans man but also suits his backstory.

I ended up going with the Paradise Lost cover of this song instead of the original primarily because I like to build character playlists around what I can see a character listening to as well. Bronski Beat is good, but would it really be Oliver as much as a doom metal cover?

This version also has this great scream that is really hidden back behind the piano and guitar intro that I can see him jamming to!

Policy of Truth by Depeche Mode

Something that I think is kind of fun with how this playlist is shaping up is how bouncy these songs are despite reflecting more of the darker and scarier parts of Oliver's backstory. This track is no exception.

Depeche Mode's Policy of Truth is all about not being able to take something back. In this instance, much like Small Town Boy, this track has more to do with Oliver leaving EVER. He could have kept his head down, he could have just quietly left when he realized he no longer agreed with the work he was doing, there are so many better ways to have handled the situation rather than trying to play hero and getting folks hurt.

It definitely haunts him and how he comes to trust others, which reflects well in the line "You'll see your problems multiple if you continually decide to pursue your policy of truth".

Everything Went Numb by Streetlight Manifesto

This one is was meant to be both a piece about the time that Oliver tried to bust that Lemurian out of EVER containment when he found out the source of the cells he was using in lab, but it also works well to echo where his life is going.

Eventually Oliver is going to realize that the Hunter Association could never provide the tools he needs to see that EVER closes down - if such a task is even possible in the first place with how large and ingrained the company is in day to day life. Eventually, Oliver is going to go rogue and likely go Tenebra because how else is he going to be able to dig real deep to find those company-ending secrets?

And if that goes wrong, well - Silence. Sirens. It all went down like his nightmare before! History repeats and if he gets anyone tangled up in it, it's going to eat him alive! (And in that same vein, the lines in the chorus before about a guilty conscious and fear of death describes Oliver's drive very, very well!)

What I also liked about picking this track is that I like playlists that flow - this brings the playlist into a very upbeat part that goes well from Oliver's backstory to Oliver's persona. It rolls well in my opinion into the next track!

Roll Me Through the Gates of Hell by Mischief Brew

Going for a different note, this song I picked more to do with Oliver with his mask and how he prefers to present to the world.

If you've been interacting with him for a bit, you may notice that some of his responses are more stock, that he's got something of a script for himself. This lets him hide behind something to present this fun-loving, awkward punk rocker persona. Now don't get me wrong, some of that IS genuinely Oliver, but a lot of it is very performative as well to try and keep himself safe and to help keep some distance.

Now despite his best efforts, Oliver falls in love easy in many senses. He wants to live and he wants to have important people in his life that he can trust without hurting them again.

Circling back to the song, this was a track I originally used a lot for a VtM character, Cali, but for a different reason - he was someone who really wanted to be the one who calls the shots, but man is it a bad idea to stand behind him. For Oliver, I picked this song because it puts on a show of bravado that I wanted for him. I would argue that this is the central song for his playlist and would be the one I would send if someone asked for his theme song!

I Think I'm Paranoid by Garbage

Tettering between Oliver's mask and who he is behind that mask, this really is a fun track to peak behind what he is thinking and feeling with his connections to others.

Oliver is aware that his grasp on reality is not always the strongest, he knows he is a paranoid man that has a real difficult time integrating with others. The worst part is that his paranoia is not completely departed from reality, but it can have moments where it does disconnect.

Playing back on what was discussed in the previous track, since Oliver is also kind of desperate for real connection, the chorus plays well into the idea of how he just wants that kind of connection. This also feeds into the outro where if the wrong person steps in and fills this role, man could it fuck him up in whole new ways.

The track also continues this theme of just playing these bouncy and lighter tracks when we're discussing more serious sides of him. I thought it was a fun balance to strike!

The Hand That Feeds by Nine Inch Nails

Now we're getting to the other side of the playlist where we went back to moodier tracks. This one is the hardest of the three. Man I wanted to try and find any other NIN songs that worked for him because I do feel like this track is a bit of a cliche to have for an alternative character, but it tragically works rather well.

The lyrics of this song are very defiant and demanding a rebellion against an authority of some kind. While this is definitely a good one to tie between Oliver and EVER, much like Everything Went Numb, this is also pointing to where I see Oliver going with Linkon authority, especially the Hunters. Not so much the condemnation of authority in the first verse, but the act of turning his back on them would indeed be biting the hand that feeds him.

Verse 2 is definitely more in line with how he is going to end up seeing the Hunter Association.

Specifically with the fact that like he is starting to seriously doubt they intend to do anything about EVER. Yeah, yeah, he gets it, they cannot openly act, but standing by is being complicit. They have this evidence and proof that EVER is going to harm others and yet nothing changes. It's all posturing about caring in his eyes!

Ghouls by We Are Scientists

Of all the tracks on this side, perhaps this is the most straight forward and simple. The track has a repeating line of "We all recognize that I'm the problem here", which for here would point to more the fact that Oliver sees himself as a danger to those that matter to him.

I haven't had the chance to play it yet since Oliver lacks ships, but I can see him being the type to deliberately sabotage a relationship if it is going a little too well. He'll act out in a way he knows is unfair, he'll cut things abruptly, he'll ghost - whatever it takes to try and protect the person dear to him.

He fears getting close. He'll fall in love, he'll make friends, he'll find a group that loves and cares for him, and his life mission here will get them killed or worse. He just cannot tolerate that.

So he's the problem, he's the one to blame.

Homesick by The Cure

Continuing the defeatism that is on display in Ghouls, Homesick drives home a lot of the nihilism Oliver feels towards his life and the relationships he has. The title of the track works well here - Oliver is open about where he comes from to give the impression of being an open book, but he also recognizes the fact that he cannot nor ever go home. There is a longing for a time he cannot have ever again.

The track is very melancholic, which is a very sharp contrast to other songs on this playlist. Even the vocal delivery is very dull and sounds like it is on the verge of tears.

I think it would be very fun to reach this side of Oliver, when the bravado fails, when he cannot successfully push someone away and now here he is broken and afraid for whoever is brave enough to put up with frankly a lot of shit to get to this point.

What would they do? Would they still accept him? Would they call him pathetic? A liar? A manipulator? Would they tell him he's been brave until then? Stupid, maybe?

Conclusion

I want to leave the remaining 4 tracks for this playlist until we see more of that and he has a chance to develop in that direction as I prefer 12 song playlists to mimic an album.