Even the stars feel closer tonight

A soft gasp escapes you as you reach out to steady yourself and wait for the cramp to pass. Only then do you catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror. Tired eyes and sallow skin greet you, and you grimace at yourself before opening the cabinet next to the sink to look for supplies, silently praying to find at least enough to get you through this day. Your gaze scans the shelves, only to pause and then check again. The small basket is full, although you could’ve sworn that you forgot to actually pick these things up during your last trip to the drugstore. And yet, here they are – your preferred brand, too. 

“Odd,” you mumble but decide to wonder about it later. For now, the only thing that matters is that you have more than enough and won’t have to worry about running out. 

***

In the bedroom, Valko stirs awake. With his eyes still closed, he rolls over and reaches out, expecting his hand to meet your warmth like every morning, but instead he’s only touching air. He cracks one eye open. Your side of the bed is empty. There’s a dent in your pillow and your duvet is pushed back carelessly, although he’s pretty sure you told him yesterday that you planned to spend the entire morning in bed. 

But then again, maybe you’ve just gotten up to get a glass of water, and so, Valko waits. 

Only when you haven’t returned fifteen minutes later does he realize that you’re not actually coming back to bed, and he sighs. You promised him cuddles the day prior and now you have disappeared into thin air? This is unacceptable.

He sits up and rubs his eyes, then stretches his arms over his head before slipping out of bed. With a yawn, he pads out into the hallway, then follows the familiar scent of your face cream into the kitchen where he finds you leaning against the counter with one arm wrapped around your stomach. 

“Sweetheart,” he says, keeping his voice low so as not to startle you. He stops right behind you, his arms gently wrapping around your midsection and pulling you back against him. “Cramps?” he mumbles as he nuzzles against your hair. He’s seen this before, and he knows the first day is usually the worst for you.

“Mh,” is all you reply before you inhale sharply when another cramp hits you. “It’s… really bad today.”

“I figured,” Valko says and leans in further to press a kiss to your temple. “You should go back to bed.”

“No, I was just about to make breakfast.”

“I can do that.”

You let out a quiet sound, maybe your attempt at a huff that got cut off by another whimper of pain. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” Valko insists and carefully places his hands on your shoulders to turn you around so that you have to face him. “You’re in pain. Go back to bed and let me take care of this. I’ve got you.”

You bury your face into his chest for a moment, mumbling something inaudible. Valko laughs quietly. “For the sake of my sanity, I’m going to pretend you just agreed with me. Now go.”

Valko gives you another gentle squeeze before he releases you from his embrace and watches you padding down the hallway. Your steps are heavier than usual, your movements a little more careful, and there’s a tightness in your shoulders that suggests that the pain is worse than you want to let on. Which honestly baffles him a little bit – you’re his girlfriend, you shouldn’t feel the need to hide your discomfort from him. But then again, you have always been stubborn, especially with letting someone take care of you. 

Well. It’s not like that’s going to stop him from pampering you today. 

With that thought in mind, Valko gets to work. He fills your water bottle, grabs the hot water bottle as well as pain medication from the cabinet in the hallway and brews a cup of your favorite tea. Once that’s done, he prepares two slices of plain toast because he knows that despite being hungry, the pain sometimes makes you nauseous. Still, he retrieves one of his favorite chocolate bars from the snack drawer, just in case you’re craving something sweet, before grabbing the tray and making his way back to the bedroom. 

You have already curled up in bed again, your knees drawn up to your chest as if to make yourself as small as possible. Even though you’re buried under your duvet, he can tell that you’re shivering, and he carefully sets the tray down on the nightstand before sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

“Hey,” he says softly. “I brought a hot water bottle and ibuprofen if you want some.”

You don’t answer right away, and for a moment the only sound in the room is the quiet ticking of the radiator. Eventually, though, you reach out for the painkillers. 

Once they’re washed down, you settle back into the small mountain of pillows that always seem to migrate to your side of the bed, even though at least one of them definitely belongs to Valko. On a better day, he probably would’ve teased you about it. But today, he only wraps the hot water bottle in a towel before easing the edge of the duvet back just enough to slide the warmth against your stomach. “There,” he mumbles. “Better?”

You let out a shaky breath. “Yeah.”

He smooths the duvet back over you, but instead of getting up, he lingers on the edge of the mattress. After a few quiet seconds, you shift toward him. “Will you stay?”

His expression softens. “Sunshine, you don’t even have to ask.” He slips beneath the covers beside you, careful not to jostle you, and opens his arms in silent invitation. You curl into him almost immediately, resting your forehead against his chest while he wraps you in a loose embrace. One hand rubs slow circles between your shoulder blades; the other settles lightly over the hot water bottle to keep it in place. 

“Try to get some sleep,” he whispers. “I’ll be right here.”

You give the smallest nod before you burrow your face deeper into the soft cotton of his shirt. His heartbeat is slow and even beneath your ear, and before long, the familiar sound, paired with the soothing warmth surrounding you, has carried you into the land of dreams.

***

When you wake again, nothing has changed except the light. You’re still tucked against Valko, one of his arms wrapped around your shoulders while his free hand holds his phone to check his work emails. However, as he notices you stirring, his attention is immediately on you. “Hey,” he says quietly. “Feeling a little better?”

“Mhm.” You shift until you can look at him properly, your mind still pleasantly foggy from sleep and the blissful absence of pain. “I noticed something. This morning, I mean. Did you, by any chance, restock my period basket?”

Valko’s expression remains neutral, as though you’ve asked him whether he locked the front door last night. “Yeah.”

“Really?”

He nods. “I noticed you were running low a couple of days ago. I picked up the same brand you usually buy, another box of ibuprofen, those little heat patches you sometimes use…” He pauses, thinking. “Snacks, too. There’s plenty of stuff in the kitchen if you get hungry later.”

Something in your chest tightens with the quiet realization that he'd not only noticed these little things, but had quietly made sure you had everything you needed before you even realized you were running low. “I… thank you.”

Valko just smiles. “It’s no big deal. You don’t have to look at me like I did something extraordinary. I just went to the drugstore, sunshine.”

“Maybe not to you,” you say, unable to return the smile without feeling your throat tighten. Stupid hormones, really. They always make you a bit emotional on the first day. “To me, it is.”

Valko brushes a loose strand of hair from your forehead. His gaze is soft as he shifts and gathers you against his chest as if that’s where you were always meant to be, one hand settling at the small of your back, the other right between your shoulder blades. You melt into him with a contented sigh, feeling lighter than you had all day. 

Maybe the cramps would come back. Maybe tomorrow would still be miserable.

But right now, wrapped in his arms, you can’t be bothered with worrying about that.

You blink. That’s not exactly the reaction you’d been expecting. People usually were quick to judge when topics like weight were involved, and it felt a little strange not to get a dismissive reply. “I… don’t know.”

Valko sets the spatula down and lowers the heat before walking over to you. His hands find your hips, his touch warm even through the fabric of your shirt, as he stands between your knees and looks at you. His expression is soft, yet alert. “I don’t think I understand the problem here, sweetheart.”

You sigh again. “Of course you don’t.”

“Then try to explain it to me, hm?”

“Sometimes…” You shrug, a little helpless because you don’t really know how to put it into words without sounding like an insecure mess. “Sometimes, people just don’t feel particularly pretty.”

Valko’s gaze remains on your face as his hands start rubbing your hips in small, soothing motions. “So,” he replies, “you don’t feel pretty because you put on a little weight? Am I understanding this correctly?”

“Mhm.”

He nods, considering what you said with a seriousness as if you’d just given him fundamental business advice. Then, after a few moments of silence, he raises his hand and gently cradles your cheek in his warm palm. “That’s rough.”

He’s not dismissing how you feel, not showering you with meaningless, shallow compliments or trying to convince you that you’re being ridiculous. Instead, he just holds you and acknowledges your pain. 

You blink up at him through your lashes. “So?”

“So?”

“You’re not going to say anything else?”

Valko pauses for a moment as he tries to figure out your expectations. You look at him like a part of you already knows that he’s going to agree with you any second now – that a little weight gain makes you less attractive. But he just shakes his head, a smile lighting up his features as he reaches up to brush a stray strand of hair from your forehead. “I think you’re trying to convince me that you’re an entirely different person now.”

You frown. “What do you mean?”

“You imply that you’re less pretty than yesterday,” he replies. “But all I see is the same woman who fell asleep on me yesterday because she insisted on finishing the movie.”

“The movie was boring,” you try to defend yourself. 

Valko grins. “Yeah. It was. But your snoring was quite endearing.”

You gasp. “I don’t snore!”

“You do. Just a little bit, though.”

“I don’t,” you protest again but this time, you can’t suppress a laugh. Valko’s grin softens into a smile again. “Your laugh is still the same as yesterday.”

“Valko…”

“And you still look adorable with bedhead.”

“Stop-“

Valko leans in and lightly presses his forehead against yours, and your protests die down almost immediately. He nudges your nose with his. “But most importantly, you’re still the woman I want to spend my life with. Why would I suddenly stop finding you pretty?”

You try to turn your head away to avoid his gaze but he gently stops you. “Even if I gained twenty pounds?”

Valko nuzzles your cheek. “Then I’d have twenty more pounds of girlfriend to cuddle.”

At that, you giggle. “That was the worst answer ever.”

“Aww, really? I think it was quite good.”

“You’re impossible.”

“Mhm,” Valko hums in response. “And yet, you were very insisting of snuggling me this morning.”

He wraps his arms around your waist and gently pulls you forward until your forehead rests against your shoulder and he can hug you properly. “You’re my person, sweetheart,” he mumbles into your hair. “That’s not going to chance because of a number on a scale, okay?”

You breathe in his familiar scent, the last bit of tension finally draining from your shoulders. His arms around you feel like home. A soft sigh escapes you, this time out of pure relief, as you bury your face a little deeper into the crook of his neck. “Thank you,” you murmur against his skin. 

“Always,” he replies softly, then presses a tender kiss to the crown of your head. For a few quiet heartbeats, the two of you stay like this, wrapped up in each other’s arms as the nagging voices in the back of your mind finally quieten down and eventually shut up entirely.

Just as the world starts to feel entirely still and perfect, a sweet, familiar scent hits your nose, followed by a telltale wisp of smoke rising from the stove. 

You lift your head, blinking over his shoulder. “Valko?”

“Mhm?”

“I think your extra portion of girlfriend cuddles just sacrificed a pancake.”

Valko freezes. He glances over his shoulder at the pan, lets out a quiet curse that immediately makes you giggle, and spins around. With a quick motion, he grabs the spatula and rescues the slightly-too-dark pancake from the heat. He inspects the charred chocolate pancake, winces, and then turns back to you with a sheepish grin. “Well. Extra flavor, I guess. Now get off the counter, sweetheart, before the rest of them get cold.”

You shake your head with a smile as you slide down from the countertop to grab forks. The day has barely begun, but the heavy weight in your chest is entirely gone, replaced by the warm, quiet certainty that you are exactly where you belong.