Deep Dark Thoughts

jk rowling really tried so hard to make harry potter overwhelmingly straight and yet she still somehow managed to make every woman who ever worked at hogwarts a lesbian. professor trelawney? show me a straight person who's that into astrology. she's an astrology lesbian. madam hooch? with that haircut? sports lesbian. mcgonagall? who's backstory and life before hogwarts is mysteriously entirely excluded from the books and is instead portrayed as a spinster whose best friend is the only (loosely) canonically gay person in the entire series? lesbian. professor sprout? a gardener portrayed by miriam margolyes? lesbian. and do I even need to explain professor grubbly-plank? ultimate lesbian.