Music of my heart

I Should Tell You || Javier

“I’m glad that we could slow you down. I like seeing you passionate and with your eye on the prize and working toward it, but working to the point that you disregard your health isn’t something that I enjoy seeing. So I’m glad we can give you a reason to slow down. I like slowed down you just as much as busybody you though. Slowed down you gives me more you time.” Lynnie’s words had put his worry at ease surrounding whether or not he should have told her the truth about what had occurred after her surgery. He was happy that he’d gotten it out there though. Maybe this wasn’t the method he’d wanted to deliver it in, but he’d managed to deliver it and after some talking through it, they’d managed to talk through her initial reaction to hearing the news. A dimpled grin formed on his features as she kissed his cheek. “Anytime, Nena. And yes. Cookie can withstand the test of all the times! It’ll be like Tina Turner as old as she is her legs are still amazing. We’ll be so old and Cookie still will be amazing.” Xavier groaned just thinking about sharing a Segway and getting to hold Cookie. “Yes. Now that’s a better idea. This why you’re the brains of this operation. I have plans, but your plans are better. Much better. Yes. One Segway, two people, my hands holding Cookie to make sure she’s safe. Yes. That’s much better than my plan altogether.” His lip quivering fell away and he was grinning, that grin turned quickly into a smirk. Talking of the future made Xavier not only happy, but elated. He’d never imagined that he’d have a love that he’d grow old with, nor a woman as incredible as the one that he was currently talking to at the moment, but he did now, and she was someone he wanted to have that future with. If he had to pray every night, every morning and throughout the day, his faith would hold steady to keep this woman in his life, healthy and well. Lynnie and her love were truly a gift from Above and he couldn’t possibly imagine either of them not living to see their relationship grow, their family maybe one day expand, At her words, Xavier could feel a light blush creeping up his cheeks. She believed in him even more so than he believed in himself sometimes. “I needed to hear that. I really did. It was the kind of motivation that would kick start him into gear and push all the budding doubts aside that he’d had since Ms. Pillsbury had given out the critique. At her sweet words, his lips touched hers in a soft kiss that he was slow to part from. “You’re my star too you know? And when we both make it to 90, we’ll still be taking award shows and red carpets by storm. You, a legend in the music game, and me in the acting and movie one. And there still wouldn’t be enough words to describe just how much I love you.”  He truly believed that, and when he thought of his life, that was how it always went. They were beasts in their respective fields, but always they’d managed to stay happy and in love no matter what life threw their way.  

Lynnie sighed softly as she pressed her nose against Xavier’s cheek. “I promise to slow down more, because I do like more us time. It’s one of my favorite times, but, shhh. Don’t tell the munchkin or Snickers. They’ll get jealous,” she advised with a giggle.  In the emotional rollercoaster she had just experienced, Lynnie was grateful she found out at that moment, rather than later. This whole ordeal was an eye-opener for her, one that she prayed never to experience again. Twice was enough. She couldn’t bear to hurt or lose anyone else. No, Lynnie was determined to take care of herself, for the sake of herself and everyone she loved. If she didn’t she wouldn’t have moments like these where she could playfully roll her eyes at her boyfriend’s comments about her backside. “Oh my gah, Xavier. You need help,” she said before giggling at his silliness. The petite brunette shook her head and corrected him. “No, baby. You have plans, I just improve them. Teamwork. And both your hands can’t be holding Cookie, baby. You might fall and get hurt. Nope. One hand can be on her, the other better be holding on to the Segway to help steer. And no Fast and the Furious: Segway Edition stuff. Got it?” She asked with seriousness in her tone. If she was keeping her promise to take care of herself, he needed to as well. Plus, the picture of them both on a Segway and both of Xavier’s hands on her bottom, though enticing, did seem very dangerous. The mental image did bring her a sense of happiness that she never thought she would have. At one point in her life, thoughts of love, family, and a happily ever after were merely a dream. Now, she was able to see that they were very much attainable, mostly due to Xavier, but also because she allowed herself to open up her heart. Lynnie loved Xavier with every fiber of her being. With each passing day, that love grows even more, filling her heart to the brim. She cared for him so much so that it hurt, if that were ever possible, but it was the kind of pain that she’d happily endure. Her eyes caught a glimpse of his cheeks turning a light rose. He was, in all sense of the word, adorable in that moment. His blushing brought her back to freshman year biology class. He was her angel, sent to save her from herself. She smiled at the sweet kiss. “Thank you, baby,” she chuckled lightly at his scenario and even nodded. Lynnie hoped that the colorful picture Xavier drew out about their future would come true. More importantly, she hoped that out of all of the details, they would carry out just one of them. That detail was that they would still be together, even when they were old and grey. The fame and prosperity, though very attractive, dimmed in comparison if he wasn’t with her. And, she said as much, “I do. And even if we’re old and our stars don’t shine as bright as the younger kids in our game, I’ll still win. Because I have you; you, munchkin, and the future babies, maybe some others… you’re all that I need.” She maneuvered them to rest comfortably on the couch. Her lithe body laid on top of his with her head on his chest. In that position, she was able to hear the steady beating of his heart. Lynnie smiled and sighed contently. “Yep. All I need and I’m happy.” As she continued to listen to his heartbeat, a rhythm, instrumental accompaniment, and lyrics rushed to her mind creating yet another song for the studio. Maybe a future hit for the airwaves, or maybe, just another treasured uncut beat she’d keep to herself. 

Good! That’s what I like to hear. Who was your favorite to see this year? That’s very true, there’s so many different people there, it’s exciting to see people coming from every where for the entertainment of the artists and everything. I love just getting to explore, all the different food and booths, and activities. There’s just so much to do you can’t get bored. Yeah, and too there’s always usually a lot that you want to get done, so that always takes up time you don’t realize is going by quickly.

Florence + the Machine did well. David Guetta had to be one of my favorites, and Drake did good too. You? Yeah, it was. I met some randoms and it was nice. Do you not have anything specific that you liked? Nope. I’m glad I already had tickets for the second weekend on hand and to get passes for the first was just icing on the spring break cake. So that was nice. The second time around we got to relax and enjoy the other things more before round 2 of the people we wanted to see again. Sorry we didn’t have more passes. What have you been up to?

I Should Tell You || Javier

“I love you, and I notice that you’re less of a busybody. I mean I don’t think you’ll never just not be a busybody a little bit, but I see you being more glitch conscious. I told you, me and the Big Man upstairs, we talk often about you. We have a deal. I mean…I could probably go to mass a little more, but we got this.” Xavier was definitely not joking. There were nights when he’d lay awake as she fell asleep in his arms and praying that this was long lasting, that their little family would remain in good health and have long lasting lives. Xavier’s nose scrunched as she tapped it with her index finger.  “She said that you were cute. She giggles and shakes her head all ‘Daddy,  Mama Nie Nie cute! She hides her face like this’.” He imitates her imitating Lynnie hiding her face, before chucking at his kid’s antics. “Uh huh. I bet you don’t.” Xavier wasn’t buying that for a minute. He knew that she probably did do all those things regularly when he was out on the lacrosse field. “We’ll always love you, and fight over who gets the cuddles first and the longest. “ Xavier didn’t believe that would ever change. He and Josie would probably always play fight over Lynnie and who got to cuddle her. Even though they always wound up in a family cuddle.  “I think if someone else had told you, I’d be mad that they’d upset you. I’d be a force to be reckoned with if they’d told you. No need to apologize. I mean it was to be expected. You can’t just drop that on someone and expect them to be sunshine and roses about it.”  Xavier grinned as she called him a dork. “Psh, baby I could bounce quarters off cookie. I think she’s going to be just fine in the future. Even when we’re in our 90s. She’s still going to be looking round and perfect.  I’m going to make note to buy more bowties in the future.  Yeah, like a segway.  But…then…cookie won’t be visible and I can’t see her.” Xavier pouted and even conjured a lip quiver as if she’d hurt his feelings.  He outburst with laughter at her gasp. “But what about a love nest? Though if we have other babies…maybe we should keep Josie  at the house as the baby sitter so we can still have our love nest. Yes. I like that idea better.” His lips touched hers to kiss away her pout. Each time he heard her giggle it was as if his heart skipped a beat. He loved that sound and was glad that things were less sad, and the focus had shifted to happier thoughts. Maybe he could do the scene without as many tears then. Maybe now that the burden of the secret was gone, and they’d talked of their futures, it wouldn’t be as intense of a scene for him to do. “You know, this talk I think has helped me with the scene even without having practiced it. I feel like I can still do it justice without the intensity, because  I can just think of our 90 year old selves happy and still in love.”

“You too, baby. I love you too,” Lynnie responded with a genuine smile. Her fondness for him grew with each sentence he spoke. “I think that after you and Josie came into my life, something inside of me, without me knowing, just began to take things slower. I began to be more grateful and, I don’t know, learn to appreciate things. I don’t think that I was more in tune with my condition, rather more aware of what made my heart so full. So,” she stopped and giggled. “I think it’s safe to say, busybody me has taken a step back. At least for a little while.” She giggled as Xavier nuzzled her neck while he imitated Josie imitating her. After her finished, the dancer shook her head with a small smile still lingering on her lips. “I said not that much,” Lynnie reiterated. In all actuality when she would see him hurt on the field, it was as if she felt the same blows, and maybe even worse. Who could blame her though? It was one thing to be the one feeling pain; it’s another to see the person you love in pain. Her smile grew even more at Xavier’s comment about fighting over cuddles; it even drew out a chuckle. Lynnie replayed countless instances where her boyfriend and the toddler would bicker at each other. Whatever the reason may be, she saw the love and genuine connection the two had, which never ceased to make her love them even more than she already did. Her small frame snuggled further into Xavier’s hold as she tried to conjure up the thought of someone else telling her the news. “No. I think I would have been a bigger mess. One that would take way more to get me to be okay again. I’m glad it was you. You always know what to say that will bring me back and not get too… intense and back in my shell about things. Thank you,” Lynnie said as she tilted her head back and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. When he continued on about her backside, her nose crinkled. “No, Xavier, baby. What are you right now,” she asked with a giggle. “Oh gah. I hope Cookie can stand up to good ol’ father time, mother nature, and gravity. No worries, I got you on the tie thing. Maybe suspenders too, that would look even more sexy on you. Segways? Maybe we can both ride one when we’re older.” The choreographer shot him a wink before shaking her head and pressing a chaste kiss on Xavier’s quivering lip. Playfully, she grasped his bottom one between her teeth and gave it a slight tug before releasing it. “If you ride on my Segway with me, you’ll get to hold cookie. Isn’t that better than just seeing her,” she asked as she placed tiny kisses on the harmed flesh. “We’re just gonna have to get creative with our love nest. Good plan. Also have Grace and others on speed dial so we can fly away for a while. We got this, baby. No worries.” As the conversed about their future, the thought of her death, hear condition, and all the negative thoughts and feelings she had experienced just minutes before had quickly diminished. For Lynnie to actually speak about what was on her mind, instead of keeping it to herself as she did in the past, surprised her. In the course of almost a year, Xavier had helped her open up. The walls she had tried to believe that were built and surrounding her seemed nonexistent, but there was no denying that there were holes in her confidence as it pertained to certain things. At this point though, what mattered was that she was able to experience this moment she shared with Xavier, her insecurities and fears aside. Her green eyes looked into Xavier’s beautiful brown ones as she smiled and cupped his face. The pads of her thumbs gently stroked his cheeks. “You think so? I think you’ll do amazing, just as before. You’ll nail it and be the best Roger Davis in the history of RENT that anyone has ever seen. Mark my words, sweet stuff, you’re a star!” She stated confidently before nuzzling her nose against his. Even before their talk, Lynnie believed Xavier’s performance was spot-on, but she could see a little bit of easiness return to his posture now that a little bit of weight had been lifted from him. A sense of appreciation had overwhelmed her for the simple fact that she had such a caring and loving man in her life; for that, Lynnie would always be humble. For that, she would always love him. “You are my star. And when we’re 90, I will be by your side on the red carpets when you’re honored for your legendary works and love you even more than I do today.”

I mean, it was better to me! Kanye came out. Nicki was here. I mean the fact that Nicki was here  got me as hype as most people get about Beyonce. It’s been a good weekend. I’m just glad Madonna wasn’t back. 

Was it? Glad to hear that! I didn’t know you were a big Yeezus fan. What’s your favorite song from him? I would say that was a surprise for sure, but... he probably could have picked another performer to collab with because it didn’t seem like The Weeknd could keep up. Everyone was all on the Kanye train. And then as for Nicki, I wish she would have performed a song or two because I’ve never seen her live. I understand why she didn’t though. I guess for me, maybe I was starstruck, or possibly not even expecting that much this weekend. Plus, I did post that before everything happened... lol, so there’s that too. Either way, I had good company, so everything that happened is stored in my memory bank and was still an amazing time. Me either. I don’t have to be worried about getting sick or mindfucked about what I was seeing. 

[Private]  Javier

Because I didn’t get to tell Beyonce about you and you didn’t get to meet her. I was close but the security guards were kind of big.  I didn’t want to be seriously injured to end the night. But I think she heard me call her name because we had eye contact for about 5 seconds. I kind of feel like a failure. 

How is that your fault? Baby, she was in the artists’ section and the general public didn’t really see her until the very last minute. It’s fine. I didn’t expect to see or talk to her at all this weekend, let alone be as close as I was to her. That in itself was more than enough, and all of that was because of you. I appreciate it though. You know what I appreciate the most? That you decided not to pursue it and chance getting hurt because I value your life more. So thank you, baby. I love that you thought of me. I bet you she smiled and thought you were a cutie. Don’t feel that way! Why would you even? 

Sorry? What for? Also, I love you too, sweetie. Safe to say that Coachella will never be the same without you.

Good to hear week two was just as awesome! What was your favorite part of the whole Coachella experience? How come the weekends always go by too quick when you’re having fun?

I liked it all really. Just the whole Coachella of it, but being with my sweetie and hanging out with friends while exploring new music make the weekend. You get to meet new characters and experience all kinds of things you don’t normally. What did you like from it? Who knows? Maybe because when you have so much fun, you don’t pay attention to what time it is and just go with whatever. 

[Text]: I’ll get the munchkin right on it. She’s a whiz with the Bedazzler. ;) Lol. Oh, nothing. Just wondering how you’ve been, how your week’s going, and what you and B were up to this weekend.

Florence + the machine killed it! Loved it so glad I came to see them. Now I’m just waiting on some Drake to take us out. But still I don’t wanna go back home is that bad, baby? 

They did. Even when she got weird with it, I had fun. Yas! Wheelchair Jimmy! I’m ready. RIght now I’m vibin’ on David Guetta’s spinnin’ skills. I could hear I Don’t Fuck With You from here and it’s crazy. No, why would it be bad? I don’t want to leave. Shoot... I’d camp out here until next week if I could. I mean I do miss munchkin, but she’s having fun with her GG. Maybe we can fly them both out here, so they’re not missing out on the fun too!

Always. Eh, I suppose Tam and Greg can be honorably mentioned. Ha! Instead of all the Brady kids, we’re all the Brady parents. It’s the story, of a lovely baby that was raised by four loving parents. I think that’d be a pretty awesome tv show. A comedy. Like Good Luck Charlie but with less sibling more parents. Yes, it’s a tradition. We should do this every year. No matter what. Yes! Beside if someone decides to be rude to me during this silent dance party tent time might disturb some neighboring tents. Well, I mean, if my baby likes it, and thinks it’s sexy who would I be not to rock it. I’m looking forward to most of the headliners for sure. But Florence and the machine definitely, and I haven’t heard much from Circa Survive but Tam loved them and I wouldn’t mind seeing them. But really I just love being out here and seeing it all listening to it all. Doing it all with you. #anythingispossiblefor…astoppable? #itried. #teamominenabonita

Forever. Lmao. Baby, of course they’re in the family though. Oh noooo, you already went and remixed the song. I knew you got me. Such a lucky little munchkin. I miss her already. :( Yes! I agree, we should. And if one day we deem that we’re too old for Coachella, which I hope not, we can have our parties at home. Gasp! Someone be rude to you? Who would even dare? They can cover their ears. We’re grown and married, doing what married people do. Well, she likes a lot of things about you and things you do, sooo… yep. ;) Good musical choices, baby. I knew I picked the right guy. Lol. Circa Survive is awesome, a little of a Green Day/Blink vibe. D’aw, same here, baby. More memories and fun to be had. I wish spring break was longer, because I can definitely stay in Cali a little longer. #lolyoudid #goldstarbaby #nope #teamhubbycaptainarrow #alldayerrday