When someone who has been sad, distant, not themselves for a while suddenly starts going out of there way to see people, often giving them gifts or possessions don’t assume they got ‘better’. This is the time to really ask them if they are okay; to reach out and not simply accept the answer of ‘fine’ or ‘great’ or ‘never better’. Because for some people the relief of having made the decision to end their life can make them happy, euphoric even. 

He pointed out that often this change in the person is such a relief to their friends and family after having seeing someone they love suffer, they just don’t realise what has caused the change and frankly they don’t want to ‘rock the boat’ because they are just so happy to have the person they love ‘back’. But in reality, the person they love is saying goodbye. 

During the interview, he told the story of a colleague (back when he had a factory job before he became a doctor) who had been depressed for a long time. One day he came in and was really happy, people kept commenting on how good it was that he wasn’t sad and grumpy anymore. He gave people some of his things, took people to lunch. Went home and killed himself. 

He explained that when the police came to talk to people, they told him it was a common story they heard “but they were so much better.” 

So be there for your friends and family. Tell them what they mean to you. Let them talk to you without fear of judgement. LISTEN. Suggest people get help if you think they need it. 

1. Recognise that other people do not determine your worth and value. It’s your life not there’s. They are responsible to themselves for their life; and you are responsible to yourself for your life. Don’t give up your “self” to please someone else.

2. Also, people change, have different values and outlooks and want different things for, and from, us. It’s simply impossible to please everyone all of the time, or even most of the time.

3. Recognise that spending our lives trying to make others happiness is a recipe for failure and low self-esteem. It’s a pointless way to spend your life. It will stop you being happy and true to yourself.

4. Be kind to yourself. Understand that we all have weaknesses, and things that we regret saying and doing.

5. Also, we’re all on our journey – and the journey is harder and more challenging for some than others. Perhaps you are dealing with obstacles that other people have not had to face.

6. Develop your self esteem from within. Decide on the type of person YOU want to be, and work on being true to that.

7. Think about what really matters to you, and the different goals you’d like to achieve – then set these as a priority. That is, decide what YOU want to do instead of worrying about what others would like you to do.

8. Develop a plan for the direction of your life. Focus your thinking, energy, choices and decisions around living a life that is meaningful to you. At the end of each day, check to ensure you’ve done something that is taking you in that direction.

9. Work on developing your self-reliance – so that although it is nice to have help and support from others, you’re not dependent upon it (or them). Also, being able to think, act and choose for yourself will greatly increase your self-confidence.

10. Work on accepting, valuing and loving yourself. Appreciate the good things about YOU. Notice your successes, and any moves towards living out your goals, and becoming the real you.

11. Choose to live in the moment. Decide not to keep going over the past, or worrying too much about what lies ahead. Notice and relish what is good about “right now”.

-Musculoskeletal damage. Binders are indiscriminate compression tools; they can’t flatten the chest without applying pressure every other anatomical structure underneath including the spine, ribs, lungs and heart. Many people who bind experience chronic back pain, shoulder pain, sharp stabbing chest pains, permeneantly decreased lung capacity, literal spine deformation, etc etc.

-A continuation of the above but the ribs are actually jointed bones. Their ability to flex is absolutely vital to their ability to withstand trauma and protect your vital organs. Imagine the damage that would be done to your elbow if your bent your arm to full flexion and then tightly bound it closed like that, for six, eight, twelve hours per day, every day, for weeks or months or years. And you don’t NEED a functioning arm to live!

-Tissue atrophy. Forcing chest tissue to lay in an unnatural way can and will change the way that tissue looks, even to risk of atrophy. Some people who bind and only moderately dislike the way their chest looks find that they HATE the way it looks after binding for a period of time. Tissue atrophy can also make top surgery more difficult in the future, and increase the risk of complications like nerve damage.

-Worsened dysphoria. Once someone starts binding and becomes accustomed to seeing themselves with a flat chest, it can be much more difficult to see yourself without one, and dysphoria that much more intolerable. You can imagine the psychological feedback loop of binding more in response.

Health impact of chest binding among transgender adults: a community-engaged, cross-sectional study Inside the Landmark, Long Overdue Study on Chest Binding  

Binding FAQ

So, if you’re like me and work in a place with public bathrooms, you most likely have seen this shit before. Some racist fuck graffiti’d up your bathroom with nazi bullshit with a permanent marker.

Tired of this bullshit? Me too, so I’m gonna show you how to get rid of it nice and quick! 

The tools you need: A cleaner appropriate for the surface, the appropriate tool to to wipe said surfaces, and the crucial piece: A dry erase marker.

It’s embarrassingly easy to get rid of and is gonna make those nazi fucks upset that we don’t tolerate their bullshit. 

Just grab your marker…

…and draw over it

then you spray it with your cleaner and then… wipe

ta-fucking-da

now you too can use your new-found hack to get rid of sharpie graffiti

1. Don’t cheat on someone.

2. If you just had to go ahead and cheat on someone (which you didn’t), tell the truth right away. ASAP. Not two weeks later. Not two days later. Not three hours later. Now.

3. Apologize. 

4. Take “it was just ____” out of your vocabulary. No, it wasn’t “just” anything. Kissing is just as much cheating as emotional intimacy is cheating as sex is cheating when it comes to the person you cheated on. It wasn’t “just” anything. “Just” minimizes your actions. Take that word out.

5. Were you drunk? Ok. That’s not relevant. Not an excuse. Sure, alcohol impairs your judgment and maybe you wouldn’t have actually carried out that cheating action without it, but were you thinking about it, even subconsciously, at some point beforehand while sober? Yep. What you do drunk is a reflection of what you think about and who you are sober. Just nastier.

6. What if the other person initiated it, and you were just following along? So? Maybe they kissed you first, but if you kissed back intentionally, even if you finally told them it felt weird to be unfaithful, you still cheated. Doesn’t matter who made the first move. Long as it wasn’t assault or nonconsensual.

7. Give them space. Don’t you dare ask for forgiveness. No begging, no pleading.

8. Do they forgive you, but want you to make it up to them? Are you going to make it up to them? Hell yes you are. You are going to do whatever you possibly have to in order to make things better.

9. Ohhh but it’s taking FOREVER for them to “get over it.” It’s alwayyyyssss going to be an obstacle in your relationship. So? You sewed the seeds, you reap the consequences. No time is too much time to get over a betrayal of trust. Give them time. And stop whining about it.

10. Ask yourself, “Am I a bad person?” Well, that answer depends on your next move. Your action was bad. It was really bad. It was really, really bad. What determines whether or not you’re a bad person is whether or not you do it again.

11. Did they decide to stay with you? No? Okay, that’s probably good. Yes? Okay, then don’t get mad whenever they bring it up again. Chances are, if they bring it up again, they’re hurting. Who hurt them? That’s right, you. Suck it up.

12. Are you going to do it again? Nope. What if you reallyyyyyy really want to? Break up with them and get out of their life; they’re better off without you.

If you are having regular sex and aren’t on truvada yet… why?

The company that makes truvada (Gilead) offers a copay card making the medication literally FREE to you. And furthermore my prescribing doctor said he would do anything to help get this medication to me at little to no cost.

If you google “Gilead Copay Card” it will bring you to a page where you enroll- for free- and then you can save the image of the card till the physical one comes in the mail. Present it to your pharmacy and your script is literally FREE. THERE IS NO REASON TO NOT GET ON PrEP!!!

btw @ people saying truvada is untested or has unknown side effects, PrEP/PEP (what truvada is) has existed for almost 30+ years in hospitals for nurses (src: my mom worked as a nurse for 30 years in the uphs) working in HIV wards that would get exposure via accidental needle sticks, there is minimal side effects that your doctor will go over with you.

(the only reason we hear about these side effects is that the FDA is afraid to let gays be healthy and make their own decisions! it wasn’t until last year that we were allowed to donate BLOOD, and even then with restrictions!)

everyone who says there is x y and z reason to not support this drug is homophobic and just regurgitating reagan republican propaganda

also make sure that when u go on it, you stay on it

If you think you’re a lesbian for a month or a year or your whole life and then realize you’re bi, that’s also fine!!