Deconstructing My Chaos

fail myself, fail my sobriety, fail at life

Its easier to write my failure here than admit it to the people I know will see it who I have let down. Those who fought their own battles and won and to show them my break down, my failure, my loss of control directly. I can't do that. Here, is a chance they won't see it. or maybe won't call me out for the failure I am.

WTF is going on with the libido?? Its been dead on its feet for months and suddenly it won't quit! There's not enough of the vibrations or whatever to satisfy. Maybe its finally decided that this can happen without alcohol.

Still happening, 4 am, back from my run, 8 am, 10 after cleaning toys, have to reclean toys. Dario trying to come front.

Fuckin can't wait til June. Got me all pumped n ready

WTF is going on with the libido?? Its been dead on its feet for months and suddenly it won't quit! There's not enough of the vibrations or whatever to satisfy. Maybe its finally decided that this can happen without alcohol.

Still happening, 4 am, back from my run, 8 am, 10 after cleaning toys, have to reclean toys. Dario trying to come front.

Sorry Dario, didn't mean to post on your blog even though this looks like something you'd put on here.

WTF is going on with the libido?? Its been dead on its feet for months and suddenly it won't quit! There's not enough of the vibrations or whatever to satisfy. Maybe its finally decided that this can happen without alcohol.

WTF is going on with the libido?? Its been dead on its feet for months and suddenly it won't quit! There's not enough of the vibrations or whatever to satisfy. Maybe its finally decided that this can happen without alcohol.