THIS BITCH EMPTY

-“You need to tell yourself that you are old.” -“Remember that you’re depressed.” -“It’s not a lobster. It’s so much more… it’s passion.” -“Think. You won’t regret it.” -“Apologize to your best friend.” -“Life does not want you to look cheap.” -“YOU SLUT.” -“Travel to your own grave.” -“All you need to educate children is gasoline and confidence.” -“Society is forcing you to feel dead.” -“I want you to see me do push-ups” -“Quit wasting time.” -“You really are a joke. That’s right. A joke.” -“You are an evil clown.” -“Nude beach actually means where dreams come true.” -“Don’t forget to pretend.” -“You did not wake up today to feel like an asshole.” -“Don’t be yourself. Be sick.” -“Try to be the reason that somebody gets arrested in the morning.” -“Hell is the solution.” -“Humans kill death.” -“For every mystery there’s ice cream.” -”You did not wake up today to sacrifice a shadow person.” -”Be serious about exorcisms.” -”Be the reason a friend is afraid tonight.” -”You can be the reason a friend vomits every single day.” -”A non-sexual relationship is your friend.” -”Try to make is so that somebody gets scared in the night.” -”Be the reason somebody laughs.” -”Wake up every morning knowing that you are significant.” -”Life itself ends when you think outside the box.” -”Always look broke.” -”You have to be more evil.” -“Somebody has to raise hell. Carpe diem.” -”Wait. Scream.”

“It’s too nice of a car to wreck.” “Don’t be so afraid to die.” “We’re talking about a sport, not a death match.” “It’s not the world that’s cruel, it’s the people in it.” “How safe is safe?” “You need to rethink your persuasion techniques. They suck.” “All the orange grows on you.” “When’s the last time you had a civil word with him?” “Our babies are going to be gorgeous.” “Shut your face and get to work.” “Shut up and make sure the vegetables aren’t boiling over.” “Are they going to be a problem?” “If they cross the line and you can’t get them to back off, you come to me.” “Until then they were fighting like cats and dogs. Now look at them.” “They’re practically trading friendship bracelets and I couldn’t fit a crowbar between them to save my life.” “You’re making me fear for your life over here.” “Can you take the creepy down a level?” “Don’t let him get away with things like that?” “You’ll never make him understand what he did wrong. Moreover, you’ll never make him care.” “How many knives do you carry?” “Flattery is uninteresting and gets you nowhere.” “Your loose ends aren’t adding up.” “I’m not a math problem.” “Don’t look back, don’t slow down, and don’t trust anyone.” “Where are the monsters?” “I’m fucking concerned-” “Rumor has it you paid a bus boy $100 to knock you out.” “Look here, shortbus.” “This is my reassured face.” “Are we okay?” “Are you done wasting my oxygen yet?” “Breaking news: I don’t care.” “Glad to see you’re still a morning person.” “Stop acting like a child.” “I think you’ve shrunk since I last saw you.” “You’re going to eat those words.. You’re going to choke on them.” “Damage control can wait until tomorrow.” “We’ll figure this out together.” “Something went wrong this morning.” “Did he freak? I bet he freaked.” “There’s three hundred bucks in it for you if it’s fixed before noon.” “Running won’t save you this time.” “You’re coming with us tonight.” “First order of business is fixing your miserable wardrobe.” “It means you’re part of the family now.” “Don’t you fucking touch me.” “How’s that target on your back feel?” “You could have destroyed your hand with a stunt like that.” “I’m going to fucking kill him.” “Seriously, are you okay?” “I’m not a hallucination.” “Don’t you dare bet on someone’s grief.” “We’re okay. We’re going to be okay.” “Ouch! Did you seriously just hit me?” “Let go of me before I tell _____ you’re outlawing chocolate.” “You’re not the boss of me.” “I’m walking away and pretending I don’t know you.” “Christ alive, what did you do this time?” “Oh, Jesus, _____, there’s a dead animal in our car.” “You just had to open your mouth, didn’t you?” “Tell me you’re not that stupid.” “I don’t know how to talk to people about the important things.” “Ninety percent of the time the very sight of you makes me want to commit murder.” “I’ve had enough of your stupidity to last me a week.” “We’ve got enough trouble to deal with right now without your bullshit.” “Fuck you!” “What the fuck did you tell her?” “You had no right to drag her into this!” “If a bone isn’t healing right, you have no choice but to break it.” “From you ‘fine’ could mean anything from ‘I’m going to hitchhike across the state’ to ‘I’m beaten to a bloody pulp but I can still hold a racquet’ “Will you be alright here?” “Stop causing unnecessary problems before you ruin anything else.” “I don’t know what amazes me more: that your phone is actually turned on or that you’re awake this early on a Saturday morning.” “I’m tired of being nothing.” “The next time one of them says you’re soulless I might have to fight them.” “We’re going to do something crazy on March 31st.” “I’m hoping to know where the lines are before I cross them.” “You even listening to me?” “Is it exhausting seeing everything as a fight?” “You look just like your father.” “If you fight me, I will cut you off at the knees.” “Going somewhere?” “Look at me when i’m talking to you.” “If you do not sit the fuck still I will gouge your eyes out.” “All that time fighting and you never learned how to duck?” “I would like a word with you.” “Your jealous streak is showing.” “If you ever say ‘i’m fine’ about your health again, I will make you rue the day you were born. Are we clear?” “Let’s get ready to move.” “Is it worth it?” “You’re amazing.” “Why do you always get that deer-in-headlights look when someone does something nice for you?” “I’m staying with you this weekend.” “Touch it again and I’ll bite you. Don’t think I won’t. I will. I’m a biter.” “I can’t stand you.” “Honesty looks awful on you.” “I distinctly remember saying I would watch your back. Give me one good reason why’d you make that difficult for me.” “I’m remembering why I don’t like you.” “What I’d like is to put this phone through your teeth.” “Your reaction was a little extreme for a misunderstanding.” “You don’t have room to judge other people’s problems.” “Don’t pick fights with him today.” “I don’t think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit.” “Denial is more infuriating than ignorance.” “You’re a piece of work, you know that?” “Don’t lie to me about the important shit.” “I’m going to pretend I don’t know you.” “I don’t want blood in my ice cream.” “Eat your ice cream, jerk.” “This isn’t a team. It’s a cult.” “you are one seriously fucked-up individual.”

“Oh! Your hand is cold!” “I’ve been dead for seven years.” “That’s as warm as they get.” “Tell her I’m sorry I drank her birthday schnapps.” “You know what I say? Fuck Washington.” “It could kill you.” “Ask a psychic.” “He threw me out the window!” “It’s not my job to tell other people’s secrets.” “IT’S ALWAYS CHRISTMAS SOMEWHERE.” “I’m seeing an apparition right now.” “I spit in it.” “That’s not fun. That’s trouble.” “As if a crusty old man three thousand miles away will have any bright ideas.” “This was easier when we didn’t know each other.” “Did something… happen to you?” “How do you feel about doing something slightly illegal and definitely distasteful?” “Poke it’s eye.” “Here’s a spoon with two ends.” “You incredible creature!” “Dream me a solution.” “This is not a goldfish.” “WAKE UP, FUCKWEASLE!” “I’d ask you out, if I was alive.” “Don’t fucking swear.” “Ulcers are not sleeping problems. They are when acid eats a fucking hole through your stomach.” “Something you should know about me. I never lie.” “Hey, don’t touch my stuff.” “I don’t want to die, not now-” “You have a death list? That’s fucking dark.” “Which one of us is on that list?” “I can’t believe you aren’t dead somewhere.” “You should be dead somewhere.” “I saw your mother.” “Sorry, I was being sort of a dick.” “Next time I’ll let you die.” “You shouldn’t have brought us if you wanted to do it alone.” “The door needs three to open.” “Did you just reply to my thoughts?” “Jesus, have you been out here all night?” “I ONLY EAT SPAGHETTIOS.” “I told you. No one’s here.” “Where is that insane women?” “Homework! What’s the point?” “You know what? Fuck magic. Fuck this.” “Hey! Didn’t you hear me?” “Don’t do anything stupid. It ate my deer thing.” “I saw my father.” “You know, you’re not such a shithead.” “Oh, look, this particular shitty cave is collapsing.” “Say that again and i’ll shoot you in the nuts.” “I’m so sorry, i’m so so so sorry.” “Was it everything you expected?”