DECLAREDD

*Switches languages in mid-sentence while talking to myself*

the weed dispensaries should ask if you would like to round up your purchase to donate to PBS. and if you say yes you get to scan a QR code that gives you 30-day free access to the full run of antiques roadshow. this is how drugs can win the war on drugs again.

i think im getting better! :) [another event occurs]

did you hear they're gonna start publicly executing anyone with a glimmer of hope and a light in their eyes

”which could mean nothing” is maybe my favorite phrase of all time. where would we be without it

Love seeing little pawprints. So fucking magical. There was a little guy here.

Tbh I think there should be a Chopped tournament solely consisting of past contestants who have cut themselves and gone home

chopped: literally