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At first I kind of resented the top guild because they just jumped ship with a warning of a couple of hours and no one was ready, I think no one in the guild I was in, was online. There was no vote, no nothing, just goodbyes. They did ask if anyone wanted to leave with them, they’d make room in the guild no problem, I jumped at the oportunity. I had seen the top top tier alliance around, I had run a couple of games with them, I knew they were more active too and I had nothing to lose in the old newbie guild. I did leave two characters behind, because I was afraid to ask my alts to be invited too (for no good reason). 

In this new enviroment, I was floundering, everyone was very high level, like insane carry type players. So I decided to focus a little more on my healer to try to be on par with the other ones in the alliance (I still am to this day, haven’t cracked the code to the trading business yet).

Then, I gave bad advice about end game event, making people jump at my face aggressively and that made me rethink joining the new guild with alliance, but somehow I learned and got over it, and made my crux to try to protect others from what I experienced.

Learned that the thing about being in a guild in any game is that you have to make yourself known. Like I’ll be there lounging asking if anyone need a healer, and the next minute I’m running with godtier players.

Fast forward a couple of months after, I play with some of the new guild first, and immediatly get to meet a lot of others; it’s super cute they even have a nickname for my character. I do have my eye on the healers, I respect them (the struggle is real as a healer in this game) and I want to be able to help everyone.

Now, I’m constantly running the most hardcore content so far in the game with godtier carry and godtier tank, and me a lowly healer made a sort of friends with them, let them know that they can count on me when they need healer no questions asked (they are the same, I have asked). 

I told them once, I’m finishing a quest I’ll be right over, and they said “You’re worth the waiting for, finish your quest”, like man, I feel so appreciated is insane, in the old alliance people were demanding healers left and right but never wanted to help with dailies (definition of hypocrites) now it’s: “anyone needs dailies?”, I join and there’s three other people already in the group, it’s beautiful.

I literally have no idea how I made online friends in this place, but I find myself more relaxed and happier with how things turned out. I do log in occassionally on my other characters in the old guild, I never seem to catch anyone online, and the old alliance kind of fell apart, they took some italian guilds in, but the next time I checked they were gone (the barrier language in chat was cringy and sad).

I kind notice the guild is changing management, with the people (the exfriends and the complicated people) leaving it, and accidently rolled and talked with the founders of the damned guild once, telling them all my concerns and how in the guild I was on my other character had alliances and they were terribly more active than us; they were so nice about it, and I was hoping for them to listen.

Next thing I know a month passes and we are in an alliance, I notice that the guild we are under is one of the most popular ones in the game. I cackle at myself the moment I see they are running one of the end game contents and proceed to just make myself known and available for dungeons and whatever else.

I help with a couple or ten victories, next thing I know I get chosen first at the end game event, me a lowly DC. I will admit I was overwhelmed with excitement and we ruined the first run because of me (I buffed the hell lot of them and they just went to town on the enemies woops), but I’ll never forget that it was the first time I didn’t regret being a part of something that I considered full of shadows (also known as the damned guild).

I will always remember how I promised myself I’d never interact with anyone in the guild, because next thing you know I’m getting called by name to go help the end game content.

Some months ago I don’t know why I got to meet on the internet two people, one was loud, the other was soft. I didn’t notice at the time that it was like they came in a package, but I offered them friendship and attention.

Then the soft person said something that made me relate to them so much, something someone did to them. I legit thought we became better friends or something that would’ve outlived the friendship over their pettiness of an in videogame item I got and they didn’t.

I decided to make my peace with the person since they had dropped me from their friendlist, thinking I would be alright without them in my life; but then it happened again, with another old friend that I hadn’t talk to in half a year came back into the frame that I was happy to talk to. 

One time, I did tell them about the other two people because they knew them, and they told me it was rigged from the beginning, some sort of complacient abusive behavior going on. But I had problems with one of their friends before, they literally dropped me when playing the other videogame, and I think the old friend bailed on our friendship because of that.

It seems so easy to drop people on the internet, like they think of you as a gamer and not a person. Makes me think if there’s worth in becoming fake friends with people on the internet.