the angles cut me when I try to think

NBC 33 Baton Rouge - "Berwick Monster" - December 2010

"Okay, you know how we asked you to send in your pics so we can put them on our newcast? We got a few, but one viewer claims he found at a hunting camp in Berwick...last weekend, his friend's family found one of his hunting cams destroyed, but the SIM card was still there along with this crazy image..."

A famous slice of internet horror and the progenitor of a solid decade and counting of pale, long-limbed beasties in pop culture - and progenitor of the "cryptid" known as the pale crawler (oft conflated with the creepypasta creature, the Rake) - this creature first appeared on local news as a mysterious image from a destroyed trailcam.

It was speculated to be Photoshop, and as was often the case in the 2010s, was explained away as viral marketing for the Playstation game Resistance 3, even though they only kinda resemble the monster from the game - who notably have more than two eyes - and nobody stepped forward to claim it. More than likely it was a prank.

we had a principality last year that was estimated at at least six hundred years old, but thats pretty rare. mostly its run-of-the-mill guardians. which is a good thing, dont get me wrong. theyre still considered 'exotics' under the responsible angel ownership act but their care needs are a lot less specialized.

its got all its shots already but youll want to take it to go ahead and get it chipped along with a full physical. what? oh, no, theres no sex, not that we can figure out anyway, but theyll answer to anything you call them. saves you the trouble of having to get it 'fixed' at least, but if you want my advice, you dont want to keep multiples of the same breed in the same house anyway. not as a first time owner anyway. they can get awfully territorial.

lonely? i wouldnt put it that way. these rescues are usually happy enough just to have an entire house to themselves without having to fight for food or shelter. boredom can be an issue though. guardians are a working breed; as the saying goes, if you dont give them a job theyll find one, and that job will be disassembling your furniture and smiting pigeons off your roof. i have some pamphlets here for some local obedience training courses. i strongly recommend you take one.

B-17 bomber is riddled with German anti-aircraft fire but miraculously survives. Later they discover the explosive shells were all inert; sabotaged by Nazi slaves working in armament factories.

Which, stopping pedos sounds good, but this bill will not do that.

The EFF has more on it, but the long and short is what it will do is basically outlaw encryption as inherently suspect by way of people being potentially liable if anyone could do anything with it, and it carves out Section 230 to do so.

Which, if you don't know, means that websites are gonna massively overcorrect and ban basically anything that could set it off, and if you don't think that's a big deal, remember that the last time that happened was FOSTA-SESTA, which kicked off the censorship wave that fucked over a lot of sites including Tumblr, and also didn't do dick for its stated purpose of stopping sex trafficking.

It's currently in the Senate Judiciary Committee, so if you see any of your state's Senators in the list of members, CALL THEM ASAP, and even if they aren't, call your senators and especially your House reps and tell them you do not want this censorship law rammed into a must-pass bill without public debate.

After almost a decade on this site, I found another Tumblr user in the wild. I stopped to tie my shoe with rainbow laces this morning outside the silversmith at Colonial Williamsburg, and I heard it.

“I like your shoelaces.”

Oh. Oh no.

I responded the only way I could. “Thanks.” And then I reluctantly added, “I stole them from the president…and if that makes sense to you, I’m very sorry.”

The poor man, in full Colonial dress, stared at me for a long moment. And then burst into laughter. And said, “I haven’t thought about that in YEARS and this has never happened to me before.”

Yeah. Me neither. Not until today.