keep me beautiful

Weigh-in: 222.2 lbs.

Breakfast: 173kcal

Coffee 8oz, 2kcal

Oatmilk 100ml, 66kcal

Banana 105kcal

Lunch: 0kcal

Dinner: 1,175kcal

Fries 680

Burger 390

Dr. Pepper half-bottle, 105kcal

Total: 1,388

Total calories consumed: 1,871

Total Calories burned: 2,145

=

Any discords for older people with Eds? Too many teens on the ones I've found.

Breakfast: 288kcal

Coffee 8oz, 2kcal

Oatmilk 100ml, 66kcal

Strawberries 37g, 11kcal

Grapeseed Oil 15ml, 60kcal

Spinach 5g, 1kcal

Egg 2 large, 148kcal

I combined the egg, spinach, and oil into a frittata thing and split it with the baby, but I'm counting all the calories for myself.

1.55 mi Walk, 275 kcal burned

Lunch: 297kcal

Homemade Miso Soup 2 cups, 128kcal

French bread 47g, 128kcal

Smart Balance Spread 5g, 27kcal

.77 mi Walk, 151kcal burned

This is embarrassing but my husband brought home one of my binge favorites, lo mein. I tried to overestimate just because I feel like the calories listed online are an underestimate. Plus I couldn't weigh the food because the entire family has gathered in the kitchen.

Dinner: 1,106kcal

Lo mein 2 cups, 620kcal

White rice 1.5 cups, 306 kcal

Egg drop soup 1.5 cups, 75kcal

Fuck it

Dr. Pepper .5 bottles, 110kcal

I just keep trying to tell myself it's not so bad because I have to meet an 1800kcal minimum to keep breastfeeding, but I feel disgusting and disappointed.

A lot has happened since I was last here. I had a baby and with that I have gained a shit ton of weight. I couldn't (and still can't) stop eating. It was ridiculous. Now I am breastfeeding and feel like I'm starving all the damn time and just want to stuff my face every minute. I've been trying to make healthier choices like stuffing my face with cucumbers instead of candy, but I literally haven't lost any weight. Here I thought breastfeeding would help me lose weight, but I'm back to the weight I was WHILE I was pregnant! It honestly makes me feel worthless and disgusting. I'm sure she lying, but my mother-in-law told me that she weighs less than me! And she's fat! I thought I was fat before, but now I'm literally obese, you guys. My bmi is 35! 😱😱💀I really do hate myself. I need your help.

Dieting and breastfeeding is not recommended, but I have to have a minimum of 1800 calories a day. I'll lose a little bit of weight if I can just stick to that. If anyone has any tips, tricks, or a magic fucking wand please help me! Maybe we can be buddies? Idfk I'm pretty desperate now.

Prost new skinny beginnings.

Be disappointed. I am.

Breakfast: 470 kcal

Brown Sugar Cinnamon Poptarts, 2 - 420 kcal

Coffee - 0 kcal

Half & Half, 1 tbsp. - 20 kcal

Sugar, 2 tsp. - 30 kcal

Already fucked up with the tarts, might as well keep fucking up, right?

Lunch: 420 kcal

Shredded Chicken Burrito - 420 kcal

Dinner: 605 kcal

Cheesesteak, half - (approx.) 500 kcal

Dr. Pepper - 105 kcal

Snacks: 299 kcal

Swedish Fish, 6 - 129 kcal

Starburst, 1 - 20 kcal

More Coffee - 0 kcal

Half & Half, 1 tbsp. - 20 kcal

Sugar, 2 tsp. - 30 kcal

Total Calories Consumed: 1, 694

Total Calories Burned (exercising): 457

I'm lazy and didn't want to write out my log for Monday.

Total Calories: 1,044

Morning weigh in: 168 (grumble)

Calories Burned (exercise): 275

Why am I the way I am?

Send me meanspo. It's the only thing that works!

I haven't blogged. I've been binge eating like a psycho. I stopped logging my calories, but I started a food log yesterday and I'm pretty disappointed in myself. I ran out of my meds and withdrawal was shitty. I think it makes me hungrier but I got my new script so my appetite should be back to normal.

I wish I wasn't hypoglycemic-my body literally acts like it's dying if I don't eat but it's hard to restrict once the food is right there. It's probably my cycle of restriction/binge eating that fucked up my body's response to any sort of sugar.

Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Thank you to my followers, I didn't think anyone would find interest in me! There's not many of you, but thanks for being here and I'll update with more logs and delicious thinspo soon!