Death the Office Worker

Every once and a while some cook who thinks he can control the dead comes and tries to boss me around. For some reason I always misplace papers around those people.

Y’know you’d think this job would make a KILLING but it’s actually kind of a DEAD end job! HAHAHAHAHahaha... I hate my afterlife.

Ma’am you can not speak to my manager he’s busy. He’s answering prayers at a little league game, both sides want to win, messy stuff.

Day 14,897 of trying to get my boss to replace the water cooler with milk.

The worst part of this job is the lack of breaks. Can y’all just stop dying for a damn weekend my femur hurts.

This customer kept on asking me about our refund policy. Long story short we had a heated argument on why he should have been having this conversation with his life insurance agency. 

As it turns out if you want a promotion you should not try to impress your boss by showing your “work ethic” on their family.

So Hank in marketing got in trouble with human resources because of sexual harassment. This is his 3rd offense, he’s really boned.

So I was just talking with Donna in accounting and for some reason she blames me for her cat Mittens dying. 

Ma’am please I’m just trying to do my job. Ma’am ma’am stop screaming. You just hit a brick wall going almost 80 mile per hour without a seat belt, I can’t help you.

No sir we can not reincarnate you as you did not purchase the Hinduism package. Well the best we can offer you is *checks files* eternal damnation in hell.