sideblog to meyvn

commenting on peoples’ posts, threads, art, graphics, etc. just telling them that you see it and that it looks good / is entertaining / etc.  –  because content creators can’t read your mind and  as nice as it’d be for us to always serve ourselves with our work  …  realistically we will lose motivation to continue creating without some kind of support.  if you like something then say so !!

sending each other’s muses messages about muses they’re talking to or characters from their canon and just generally getting actively involved in the narratives other people create  &  encouraging those people to discuss them

asking people random questions about their characters without fear that it’s too outlandish, provided the question isn’t invasive or rude

sending honest, heartfelt notes of positivity and making loveposts about other creators and the work they do.  not chainmail, not lazy generic shit, but real kindness, in our Own Words

drawing people fanart of their characters / ships / OCs !!  please !!  really !!  i don’t know when that  EVER  became something people grew too nervous to do !!  most people  ADORE  it.  even if it’s just fucking stick figures, man, i  PROMISE  you that taking the time and putting in the effort to show someone that the work they do inspired the work you do will make their whole fucking day

telling !!  each other !!  that !!  we’re !!  doing !!  good !!  jobs !!

being  NICE  to each other  OPENLY  and  FOR NO REASON  with  NO PROMPTING

making sure other people feel included in discord servers, roleplay groups, groupchats, multi-way threads, art trades, events, and just.  like.   overall

acknowledging !!  each other’s !!  art !!  metas !!  threads !!  worldbuilding !!  and !!  style !!  PLEASE !!  PEOPLE !!  DONT !!  KNOW !!  YOU !!  LIKE !!  THEM  !!  IF !!  YOU !!  SAY !!  NOTHING !!

for those of you wondering: yes, it’s crossed my mind that the youth league may have been shuyin’s idea all along, but i don’t believe it was. shuyin’s drive was revenge. nooj’s fixation on finding vegnagun? that may have been shuyin. although, honestly i think it was a bit of both of them. but yeah… uncovering spira’s past? bringing out the truth that the temples tried to hide? along with nooj’s ‘knowledge to the past is the key to spira’s future’ saying ( suggesting he wants a future for spira ) it really clashes with shuyin’s whole… revenge / destroy spira thing.

but yeah, nooj giving it all up? i don’t see it. it’s crazy and speaks to me as a warning sign. think about it like… he goes around apologizing to everyone and we’re to believe he steps down to live a domestic life or some shit after? it’s basically like clearing his conscious and saying goodbye. because i honestly believe that without some sort of goal or without some sort of drive, nooj would slip back into suicidal tendencies only this time it would be worse. if you think about it, nooj went to being a crusader, to being a crimson squad candidate, and then meyvn. from a young age, he kept himself very active and involved with spira. yeah, it’s true that his fascination with death began because of his frequent brushes with it during his days in the crusaders and also true that he tried out for the crimson squad just to off himself in a respectable way but it was his sense of pride and duty ( not to mention the lives he’s come to care for along the way ) has always kept him just on the edge. there was always something to come next. something that needed his attention or something there to distract him from the negative thoughts. and honestly, things had to have gotten better during the youth league. we see hints of that in nooj’s sphere where we hear lucil talk about how nooj hasn’t talked about death for quite some time. no, that doesn’t mean he’s been free from the negative thoughts or feelings, but it’s some sort of progress. and i strongly believe the youth league helped with that. having a goal helped with that and it always has. it gave him purpose and something to be proud of. nooj could be proud of living because of what he’s accomplished thus far. but to let all of that go and do… nothing? i don’t buy it. 

listen, nooj has a strong sense of pride and duty if you haven’t guessed already. there has got to be reason and purpose behind what he does. something strong enough to combat his longing for death. he refused to simply take his own life and sought a warrior’s death because he was too proud to simply clock out. when it came to the crusaders and the crimson squad / protecting spira. his sense of duty kept him alive. then onto becoming meyvn of the youth league, uncovering spira’s past, and bringing truth to the people was also something that was important to him. something that he was proud to do. so, to let go of the youth league means to let go of both pride and duty. and what’s left for him after that? death. if you can’t tell already, i feel strongly about this and this is why last mission canon is not my canon. i might play with it in an au, but not my canon. ew.

he remembers. it’s entirely vivid and the scene repeats itself in slow motion in his head more than a few times a day even after everything is said and done. it’s a difficult thing to try and revisit for nooj and if i’m honest, more often than not, he will try not to deal with it. for one, although he was completely unaware at the time that shuyin was inhabiting his body, revisiting this meant that he had to sit and deal and look through that moment and come to terms with the fact that there is a part of him that was so vicious and vile that he could do something like that to people he cared for at the drop of a hat.

for two, and while nooj isn’t the type to cling tightly to denial, he remembers how he felt at that moment. it couldn’t have been him. he cared about his friends. he remembers fearing for their lives even as the bullets from his gun ( his finger on the trigger ) sent them to the ground. he saw his body and heard his voice but it wasn’t what he wanted to do or say. 

commenting on peoples’ posts, threads, art, graphics, etc. just telling them that you see it and that it looks good / is entertaining / etc.  –  because content creators can’t read your mind and  as nice as it’d be for us to always serve ourselves with our work  …  realistically we will lose motivation to continue creating without some kind of support.  if you like something then say so !!

sending each other’s muses messages about muses they’re talking to or characters from their canon and just generally getting actively involved in the narratives other people create  &  encouraging those people to discuss them

asking people random questions about their characters without fear that it’s too outlandish, provided the question isn’t invasive or rude

sending honest, heartfelt notes of positivity and making loveposts about other creators and the work they do.  not chainmail, not lazy generic shit, but real kindness, in our Own Words

drawing people fanart of their characters / ships / OCs !!  please !!  really !!  i don’t know when that  EVER  became something people grew too nervous to do !!  most people  ADORE  it.  even if it’s just fucking stick figures, man, i  PROMISE  you that taking the time and putting in the effort to show someone that the work they do inspired the work you do will make their whole fucking day

telling !!  each other !!  that !!  we’re !!  doing !!  good !!  jobs !!

being  NICE  to each other  OPENLY  and  FOR NO REASON  with  NO PROMPTING

making sure other people feel included in discord servers, roleplay groups, groupchats, multi-way threads, art trades, events, and just.  like.   overall

acknowledging !!  each other’s !!  art !!  metas !!  threads !!  worldbuilding !!  and !!  style !!  PLEASE !!  PEOPLE !!  DONT !!  KNOW !!  YOU !!  LIKE !!  THEM  !!  IF !!  YOU !!  SAY !!  NOTHING !!

        even now, there is something inside me that craves death. could it be my flesh wants freedom? or maybe the cold machina inside it wants company…