To anyone who thinks that Stanley wouldn’t have come to Derry if he’d known all you had to do to destroy Pennywise was roast him, you’re wrong. He would have been the first one on the plane. He’d have brought Patty with him. She’d have a note book and the entire flight he’d be brainstorming with her. The second they touched down he’d have gone straight to get all the losers and they’d have all sat at the bar in the townhouse and had a god damn writers room. He’d give them assignments like a group project. Someone specifically assigned to each aspect of Boo boo the fool boy. Ben gets His shoes, Bev his clothes, Patty his make up, Bill his hair. Do you honestly think this kid, Stanley Uris, with his everlasting patience whose experience with the written word spans multiple genres wouldn’t have jumped at the chance to murder this interdementional juggalo with his language as a weapon? Who could roast with the best because his childhood best friend was RICHARD TOZIER. His vocabulary vastly improved just because he hung out with well known author Bill denbrough. Whose persuasion stats are through the roof because he talked through and handled Eddie Kaspbrak’s panic mode on a daily basis. His prose could make anyone weak at the knees because he in all likelihood discussed and wrote poetry with Benjamin Hanscom every weekend. We are talking about a boy who roasted his ENTIRE congregation during his own Bar Mitzvah, dropped the mic, and then walked out. You’re telling me this boy who became THE MAN, would not come home to rip Nicklesmart to shreds on a physical, mental, metaphysical, and emotional level? Do you honestly think that the minute he landed he wouldn’t have dragged Patty to that library, kicked down Mike’s door and said, “take me to the shitty clown Mike. I’m tired. Im anxious. I’m depressed, a little repressed, and I have 27 years of unexpressed forgotten anger that needs to be let loose.” That my friends is why Steven King needed to Nerf Stanley. Because he could have destroyed DollarGenius all by himself. He would have decimated DimeClever. Absolutely Atomized QuarterWit. He would have been in and out of Derry in five minutes and PesoWhizkid would have been so gone from their lives that all of the past events involving YenShrewd would have been eradicated from history because that is how powerful Stan The Manly Man “Oh so Orny” Torah Team Uris actually is. Thank you and goodnight.

im rotting its fine

Fucking superb you funky little death omen

Fog is just ghost water.