Flashback To My Future

I have so much I want to say to you, but the timing isn't right I'm so in love with you, I think I'm losing my mind

So today we found out that we have 6 days left. 6 days.. I thought we'd get more of a warning, but I guess we're built for tougher situations. I just hope you know how much you mean to me and how much I lean on you to make life worth something. Although, these are going to be some of the longest months ever; there's no one else I'd go through this with. I love you. I love you so much.

Today your at MEPS & I miss you so much. We're talking about when you should ask to ship out & I'm so torn about being productive & trying to never grow up. I love you so much, & I want the absolute best for you.

Today you were called into work early, & although you've only been gone like an hour. I miss you so much. You called me to let me know that your recruiter gave you a date for MEPS but thought it would be funny to say it was your date to leave for boot camp... "I'm going to boot camp either the 1st or the 2nd" you said. I replied with a subtle "oh..that's in like two weeks..." Tears just flooded in my eyes & I know you realized that wasn't a funny joke. All I could think was "I need more time!!" I feel like I say that or think that so often, whether you're going to work or going to sleep, I always feel like I'm reaching for more time with you. You're going to boot camp in at least two months. Two months. I'll blink & we'll be saying goodbye to one-another yet again. But this time, I won't get to hear your voice everyday, or see you through the front facing screen of your camera, no late night calls when I can't sleep,or you calling me to say "just checking in, God I miss you." That's what's going to hurt the most, is not being able to hear your voice for 3 months. Because your voice has been the soundtrack of my life for the past 4 years & honestly I don't remember anything else before I heard it. I don't think I've ever depended on anything more to get me through the day then just hearing you. It's my favorite lullaby, it's better than coffee, the greatest comedy, & biggest eye opener. I could listen to you all day. But my favorite thing about it is that, it's my constant reminder that I'm alive, that we exist, & that every day I have something to fight for. You keep my feet planted so firmly on the ground because I'm not running anywhere unless it's after you. I love you so much. & when I close my eyes, I'll fade away to the memories of your voice saying "I love you" back to me.

To put it simply, I love that you're a simple man. I love that you don't have to spend every minute you're not at work, out on some day trip to some place. I love the fact that you can make lazy days seem so adventurous & that you'd rather go to the movies instead of the beach. I love that our honeymoon stage hasn't ended, I love you so much.

I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud to stand next to your everyday, to be the one to hold your hand. I'm proud to be the one who gets to kiss you & be there person you depend on. I look at you & want to yell to the world how wonderful you are. I love you so much & I'm so proud of you

Thanks for being my best friend, you're the only person who I never get sick of

APRIL 7,2016 Last night we went to your kind of Disneyland & it was the most beautiful thing to see you so excited. We went to the comedy store in Hollywood to see one of the greatest line ups ever on the 44th anniversary of the legendary comedy store. You listen to podcasts more than any other person I know & you messaged one of your favorites for info on the time you should be there. Steven Randolph was nice enough to give us a tour of the historical venue & we walked through all the haunted back rooms & halls where so many greats had been before. We even stood on the stage that we'd be watching where Richard prior, robin Williams, Jim Carrey, David letterman, & so many others had started their careers. He took us to the room where all the pre-show gatherings are held & the all glass piano coffee table that Richard prior purchased for everyone to do coke off of was. I have never seen your eyes so wild & bright. This was one of the greatest nights of my life & I love you so much for opening up my world to yours.

I can’t wait to see you!