lover

It's like hovering over the edge, keeping

peace,

held above our heads like a trophy,

whilst we balance, wobling on one foot underneath

the crushing weight of perfection.

why does it matter if we are broken?

what does it matter if there is noise?

I'm constantly stuck between looking to the future,

And worrying about the past.

Christ is coming, this is sure,

But should I be looking forward and making choices

for the life I could live,

Or just stay stagnant.

I am so worried I could make the wrong decision,

And I want to be in the kingdom so much,

Every time I turn to You, the ache softens, the weight lifts, peace settles like morning light quiet, steady, always there.

And yet, I wander. I chase the noise, the fleeting, the hollow, forgetting how easily I can rest in You.

How fickle I am, Lord, that I trade Your presence for the rush of lesser things, that I call on You in my emptiness but neglect You in my plenty.

Still, You are patient. Still, You are near. Still, Your love does not waver, though mine flickers like a candle in the wind.

Let me be different, God. Let my first thought be of You, not my last. Let my soul reach for You, not just in my stillness, but in my every breath.