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you were currently competing in the 2nd season of idol producer

and you were one of the top competitors

you’ve ben voted as top 1 for multiple times now

and not only was it because of your talent

but you think that it was also because of your friendship with ziyi (which is is bad guys lol vote contestants bc of their talent okay)

yes, you’re friends with the very famous wang ziyi

who was also one of the rap mentors in the said show

actually you two go way back

you two have been friends even before he got into simply joy music

you two were trainees for a company called faded ent

and you two were supposed to debut as a co-ed group

so you two would practice all day and all night just to perfect the dances, singing and rap you had to do

and even after those long and tiring practices you two still had time to hang out with each other

you gotta admit, those were the times that you started developing a crush on him

so when the day he told you that he was leaving the company it was basically your own personal apocalypse

not only did you lose ziyi

but you lost your chance to debut which was on the tip of your fingers at that time

so you tried your luck this time by asking your company to let you join the new season of idol producer

and to your surprise you were doing better than what you expected

as the weeks go by, you and ziyi have been catching up on each other’s lives

but only when you and him have overlapping free time which is a 5 minute break once every week, so that’s not a lot of time

and because of your closeness with him, people have been saying that he has this massive crush on you, which you totally ignored and didn’t believe

and if they were true you’d still ignore it because you were here to compete and debut, not to find love

it was currently the last week in idol producer

while all of the other trainees were fast asleep

you in particular could not sleep for some unknown reason

and what better way to tire yourself than to practice some more

so you got up and walked towards the practice rooms

you first checked if all the staffs were gone, and when they were all gone you entered the room and started practicing the dance routine for the upcoming final episode as you were still in need of some practice

20 minutes into your practicing and you hear some footsteps walking towards the practice rooms, specifically the practice room that you were in

behind the piano was a good place to hide, so you did

as the person entered the room you peeped your hear out so you could have a look at who it was

you were surprised to see that it was ziyi who entered

you were wondering why he was still in the dorms as all the mentors were supposed to be out with the other mentors

so you went out of your hiding spot

ziyi jumped in surprise as he saw you come out

“y/n? why are you here?” he asked 

“i was just practicing, but i’ll head out now, bye.” you said while rushing to head out of the room

but then he caught your wrist which made you stop

“hey, can’t you stay for a while. i really want to spend more time with you. please stay.” he said while smiling softly

you really couldn’t say ‘no’ to a guy like ziyi, so you agreed to stay with him

“so how’ve you been these past few weeks?”

“pretty good actually, but this week in particular was really draining for me and the other trainees.”

you two then eventually became comfortable with each other, like the good ol’ days

after a while you checked the clock to look at what time it was, it was almost 1 in the morning and you had to wake up early to teach the other trainees the dance for the final stage

“hey it’s getting late, better get going now.” you were about to stand up but then ziyi got your hands which stopped you from doing so

“thank you for staying with me y/n, i really miss spending time with you. i hope we can do this more often.” after saying that last word he was leaning in and getting closer to your face

he then pressed his lips to yours

you wanted to savor the moment, but a part of you says that what you’re doing is wrong

so you quickly parted with his lips and stood up

“i’m sorry ziyi, t-this just isn’t right. i have a future ahead of me, and so do you. i don’t want this to be the reason for us to fail in the future. goodbye.” after you bowed you left without even turning back

for the whole week you only thought about that moment

there were times when you couldn’t even sleep just because it was in your head

the day of the final episode has come and you’ve prepared for it since before you entered this show even

okay so this is the part where i transition from 2018 to 2020 bc im a dumb bitch and forgot to finish the au back in 2018

ok back 2 the fic

bc you already know that anything can happen during the span of these 3+ hours

the last time you checked you were still the reigning #1

and because of that you were really anxious about everything that’s gonna happen

before everything starts you guys practiced for the last time and got your last messages from the trainers

and while they were leaving ziyi handed you a small note which made all 20 trainees go BONKERS

“YIEE I KNEW THAT HE LIKED YOU!”

“I KNOW HE’S MY BIAS BUT WHAT THE HECK YOU TWO WOULD BE CUTE TOGETHER”

you became so flustered after all of them started teasing you

“YAH! Y’ALL STOP! if you guys don’t stop i won’t share my remaining facial cleanser!”

deadass everybody went silent JASNXANSDJ

and while everyone was leaving the hall you stayed behind so that you could read the note he gave you in private

it read

“i know what i did a few days ago really surprised you which made you say those words. but i know in my heart that what happened to us was right, but since you asked for it, fine i won’t bother you for now. just remember that i love you and i’m always supporting you, jiayou! with love, ziyi”

ff to the live show

the whole live show was a blur to you because you were too nervous for the final ranking

you were center for your team tho!

everyone AND I MEAN EVERYONE SCREAMED WHEN YOU WERE INTRODUCED AS CENTER

BC HELLO

YOU WERE PERFECT TO BE THE CENTER

ANYWAYS NOW ONTO THE MOMENT WE HAVE ALL BEEN DREADING

THE

FINAL

RANKING

DUN DUN DUUUUUUN

you saw some of the people you hoped to be in the final group got called and you couldn’t be happier

but sadly some of them weren’t

it’s now time to call on the prospected 1st and 2nd ranks

your anxiety levels are OFF THE CHARTS NOW as you haven’t been called yet

you were hoping to all the gods that you would turn out to be the 1st pick

or even 2nd place

but to everyones horror

your face wasn’t shown on the LED screen

which means you weren’t gonna be selected as the 1st or 2nd rank

you heard both people from the audience and from your fellow trainees a collective

“WHAT!?!?!?!?”

at this point you didn’t know what to do anymore

you felt numbness in your body

you can’t cry yet because there is still hope for the 9th place

and then it hit you

‘OH YEAH’

‘9TH PLACE’

so again with all the praying to every god thing

and then

BOOM

the 4 faces were shown on the LED screen

and luckily you were there

the PD then one by one started to announce the trainees on the screens ranks

for 12th place

it wasn’t you

for 11th place it wasn’t you either

this is it you were either in or out

you and the other trainee held hands just to relieve you both from the pressure

and then

the PD finally says the ranking

“the 9th pick is...”

“yuehua entertainment’s xi jiamo!”

that was it

all your hard work

gone

of course you were so happy for your fellow trainee

but you still have to think of yourself as well

you were then asked to give a final message

you were still in shock and didn’t know what to say yet

but you stood there and just said anything that came across your brain

“ohh, honestly i’m just so very thankful to everyone who supported me through this journey. and for every single trainee that has given me nothing but love i hope i can repay you guys some day. let’s all remember that this is not the end of our journey rather it is a stepping stone for us in order to succeed in the future. and to our dear mentors”

the audience and the trainees went wild

EVEN SOME OF THE OTHER MENTORS TOO

“i’m just very thankful that we had the opportunity to be guided by all of you, and we promise to always keep in mind everything you taught us. once again thank you for letting me stand on this stage. i will never forget this experience. thank you everyone” and then you bowed for a very long time

after the whole program all of the trainees went to the stage to congratulate the final group

but almost all of them went to you

the trainees started to flock your area and shower you with nothing but love and support

you even heard the crowd chant your name

which made you cry even more

“YAAAH! Y/N JIE I OVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE REMEMBER THAT!”

“Y/N JIE I’M SORRY FOR TAKING YOUR SPOT!” jiamo said to you

so you had to tell her that its not her fault and she should think that way

if she thinks that way again you told her that you would be so disappointed

the staff now asked everyone to vacate the stage and go backstage

little did you know

ziyi was there waiting for you

you didn’t want to talk to him yet but the trainees insisted that you do

so they left for you two to have some privacy

once you two were alone there was nothing but silence

but he went in for a hug

which you really needed right now

a hug from one of the people that you love the most

while you two were hugging ziyi said something to you

“i know this is a really hard time for you and i just want you to know that i’ll always be by your side from now on. i’ve lost you the first time now i will never let you go”

YOU CRIED EVEN MORE BECAUSE OF THAT

you just wanted to be in his arms forever

and for now