Raise a Glass To Freedom

That would probably be easier. Tuesday is ladies’ night at the bar, just so you know. 

🦿

Sounds like I have plans on every Tuesday from next week forward. 

Curious though, why Tuesdays?

I get that, and that’s being more fair than a lot of people would be with it. Personally I’m good with pineapple, not all the time but a nice Hawaiian pizza is a good change from the usual, pepperoni or BBQ chicken or whatever else. Food is food, see you just get me, dude. Oh yeah, that must burn a ton of calories doesn’t it?

Hey that’s cool! Never been out there, but San Francisco looks like a great place. That’s true actually, very true.

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I don’t know, I think growing up without a silver spoon up my ass like half the people here just makes me more willing to like more food. You eat what’s been given to and you don’t really question it, right? Yeah, it’s constant exercising and just as good as a gym membership.

Yeah, I never really had a lot of time to go out west. When I was in New York it was pretty much all focusing on either my social life or work, which was all right there in the city.

if i used the ‘puckerman force’ you speak of, i’m sure i’d be fired in like five seconds flat. but i’d prefer if none of you would stress me out. why can’t we all just be happy and get along and, like, have world peace and shit?

fine, fine, you’re right. i won’t go all overbearing sister mode on you again. you’re thriving and that’s all i could ask for for you. and i’m not sure how you would even do that, but you would be the one that did something wild like that. so as a nurse and your sister, be safe and don’t do anything stupid.

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Just ... enough to show her that you mean business and that you know what you’re doing, not enough to scare the poor (crazy) mom. Because, Al, you’re our sister and that’s just how the world works, but at least I’m willing for a team up against Noah, and if we can scrounge Billie into the deal we’re practically unstoppable.

It’s almost like you have no faith in me, and frankly I’m feeling a little attacked right now.

I mean, I am charmin’, but I’ve never directed someone to someone else in that manner. 

🦿

You can always hold off until I’m actually around, I’m sure it’ll be easier then.

You are so annoying.

🦿

Perhaps that’s true, but you can’t deny two things.

One, you love me no matter what.

And two, you too, are equally annoying to most.

Mmm, not a piss poor attitude, just a good sense of humor, and I’m honest.  

🦿

Sense of humour? Where? And I’ve yet to see anything honest come from you.

Batman has the best Rogues gallery in comics, Jake. I acknowledge that.

Hey, Harley was great in the first one. She should have been a double-agent, and Joker should have been the villain, but, hey, I’m no screenwriter.

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Yeah, it’s just a real shame that Batman himself ain’t worth shit.

Sure, so was Deadshot, but the movie as a whole fuckin’ sucked and I pretty much have no reason to watch it anymore, which I’m happy about.

Guess I am. Always nice to be appreciated by the gender I’m actually attracted to. Darlin’, I think it would be kind of weird if I was just like ‘sorry, I’m not interested, but this guy I know Jake would be happy to help’ 

🦿

Well you could pull something subtler off than that, I’m sure. What happened to that charm that everyone loves so much?

Yuppers, and you’ll hear it once I’ve come up with the perfect one.

I know you’re being a good friend, but I know my brain is lacking where it matters most. And it’s totally fine! There’s still a whole year left to fill with useful experiences and knowledge. I’ll try my hardest to endure them.

🦿

I’m actually pretty stoked for this one. You better not do me dirty.

It really isn’t, babe. You’re a good person and you’re pretty great with people. If you’re trying to say you’re stupid because of a teacher or a test, that stuff is honestly such crap. A year? Why only a year?

All you need is a catchy name and you’re set for life.

Depending on how late that’s not too bad. NINE!? I could’ve been the mayor of that town with how stupid they were being! Where did you say you watched this? I’ve gotta see the incompetence for myself.

🦿

You gonna come up with one for me?

Hey, don’t sell yourself like that. You’re not stupid and you really aren’t that stupid. It was on Netflix, but brace yourself for literal moronics.

A never-was? Oh come on baby give me a little more credit, I had a couple of Off-Broadway gigs, not bad for an up and coming starlet.

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Exactly, a never-was. You got nowhere, dude, and you literally have nothing but a piss poor attitude to show for it. I feel bad for the people who had to, and have to deal with you.

Hmm…. maybe I won’t let you keep hanging out with him. 

That makes no sense. 

🦿

Yeah, I believe that. Just tell me when it’s happening because I’m pretty sure he won’t be too happy about that arrangement either.

The truth doesn’t have to make sense. You know what else doesn’t make sense? Life.

Ooh, too true. I don’t see that debate ever going away really, it’s not a maybe sort of question. Out of curiousity, which side are you on that… pineapple on pizza or no? Oh okay then, that doesn’t sound so bad then. I guess it depends on where out west maybe? Like, California I don’t think there’d be any shortage of things to do but somewhere like I dunno, Utah? Not so much. I think you can find weird people anywhere though, although maybe not quite as many.

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Hawaiian’s not my favourite, but I ain’t gonna knock it. Food is food, dude. When you spend as much time dancing as I do, you just need the calories.

All the way out to Cali, you got that right. They’re living it up in SanFran now. Plenty of freaks and weirdos. And not like the freaks and weirdos you’d find in Utah, that’s for sure.

Sorry, matey. My lips are sealed. 

And that may be true but I also have three pairs of crocs already, I feel like I should make that known. 

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They shouldn’t be, I’m adorable.

The post made it seem like you didn’t have any, but honestly I’m still game. It’s literally not a big deal, you’re allowed to say yes.

Oh, I know - I just felt I should clarify. I’ve just always been a worrier. I blame it on the way I grew up. What about the last shred of dignity?

Really? I guess I don’t know quite how all of that works, though I also haven’t spent much time on it until recently. I do really like that sound of that though. Thank you, Jake. I appreciate the push. Maybe it’s what I needed. I think, maybe next weekend I’ll work on getting something uploaded. Does it matter that my camera quality is just going to be using my phone?

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Babe, there’s no way you have no dignity. You’re trying to tell me you don’t have confidence in these songs? That you’re not a badass and a total babe on top of that? They’ll love you, no way you’re losing dignity.

Like I said, the algorithm will work in your favour, and I’ll give you a boost when you eventually post. I have a decent following so it’ll be fine.

Dude, everyone posts from their phone, stop worrying.

You’re a superhero, Jakey.

They named another guy the Ripper!!!!? These serial killer naming people are lazy. Was this guy anything like Jack the Ripper at least? And when you say waaaaaay too late, do you mean after he was dead?

🔥

Everything I’ve ever wanted in life, C.

No, not that late. But they’d literally interviewed him not once, not thrice, but nine times. They joked around the office that he was the Ripper but since they’d gotten this bogus phone call and Suttcliffe didn’t have the same accent, they said it couldn’t be him.