nat

your worth is not measured by someone else's inability to choose you or love you. you were never meant to be loved in a limited way

there will come a time when you'll forget the sound of their laughter, their voice, their gentle touch, their warmth. there will come a time when you can think of them and not be terrorized by longing emotions. there will come a time when they won't cross your mind for days, weeks, even months. there will come a time when your heart becomes numb to them. that is when you've healed. but until then, live for that moment of freedom

it's a sad sort of relief - when they finally hurt you enough. you're able to dismantle the perfect image you envisioned but you do it with sadness. you're no longer crippled by the hurt, just disappointed and numb. it's at that moment you realize that you'll survive

he is not the same boy I fell for. the boy that bought me water bottles because he knew I had a bad habit of not drinking enough. the boy that drove me home safely while I slept holding his hand. the boy that would hold doors open for me and place a kiss on my forehead as I walked by. the boy that held me close to his chest while he whispered promises of our future. that boy is gone. he lives only in my memories now

but the worst thing he ever did was making me feel like I was forgettable. replaceable. not worth changing for. how does a person go from loving you, taking care of you and creating a soul tie with you, only to abandon it with such ease?

the depth of your grief is simply a mirror of the depth of your love; it's both a curse and a gift to be able to love someone with every atom of your soul

maybe my absence drives him crazy. maybe he's just good at hiding it. but god, how I wish that mask slips for just a second so that I know i'm not suffering alone

but I would pick the sadness and hurt he let me endure while I was with him a thousand times over the pain of not being with him. is that love? probably not. does it make me sound crazy? I would say so. but I miss him so much that his absence feels like a wound that would never close

the thing about love is that you never know how deeply and fiercely it encompassed you until you're forced to live without it. and then suddenly, that loss hits you all at once and you can't remember how you ever lived without it before

it's easier to grieve the dead than it is to grieve the living. at least through death there is closure; but to grieve the loss of a soul that's still alive? a soul that could be with you but chooses not to? death would be more peaceful

but if we knew we were dying tomorrow, we'd do it. sending that text. confessing our love. telling the ones we care about how much we adore them. apologizing to them for picking silly fights. because that's all that matters. love is all that matters in this cruel and unpredictable world. this is the only time we get to experience love. the people we love, and the ones that love us in this world, are all we get. but do we really have to be dying to express it in its purest and fullest form?

and if no one's told you lately, let me remind you that you are loved and needed and wanted. this is your life and this one life is all you get. no second chances, no do-overs. don't let other people destroy your one chance at experiencing this world.