It's not delivery, it's my son.

[His son might have a point.  Things are not the same as the century he was originally born in.]

I don’t like it, but you do have a point perhaps.  /Ah but with good reason though.  Misty is a very suspicious person.

Very well, as long as it isn’t Misty I’m fine with it.  But there is one more thing I need to tell you.

Mista. It’s Mista. And he isn’t suspicious. You just scare him.

Whatever.  

But you’re so young!  You shouldn’t be having a girlfriend…or boyfriend for that matter!

[His son might have a point.  Things are not the same as the century he was originally born in.]

I don’t like it, but you do have a point perhaps.  /Ah but with good reason though.  Misty is a very suspicious person.

Girlfriend?!

Stop sassing me! I know what the letters stand for!  

Just drive Damn it!

Fine fine! 

[He hits the gas and– A tire on the car pops.]

How does prohibiting garlic in this house not letting you live your life?!

Giorno!  I said handle the cops…Why do you think my solution to all my problems involves murder?

[He can’t believe what his son is saying.]

…You said you knew how to drive.  How do you know how to drive if you don’t even know the basics, which is the prindle.

….You mean the gear shift? With letters on it PRNDL? The letters that stand for Park Reverse Neutral Drive and Low? 

Stop sassing me! I know what the letters stand for!  

….Do you think I can’t handle a couple of officers of the law?  As you just said, I am an immortal vampire, the law bends to my will.

[He takes a seat in the passenger seat.]

Come on, move the prindle out of drive.

Please don’t kill the co-

[wait what did he just call the gear shift? Giorno had to call him out on this hold up.]

Giorno!  I said handle the cops...Why do you think my solution to all my problems involves murder?

[He can’t believe what his son is saying.]

[He pays little to no attention to the teenager’s struggles.  He then proceeds to throw his child. in the driver’s seat.]

Let’s put you up for the test then. Show me how well you can drive.

....Do you think I can’t handle a couple of officers of the law?  As you just said, I am an immortal vampire, the law bends to my will.

[He takes a seat in the passenger seat.]

Now don’t be shy son.  I know you must be nervous, but I have complete trust in you and you will do fine.

I didn’t get that last part, but it matters not.  

[The vampire grabs the fruit of his loins and throws him over his shoulder.]

The night is still young, we mustn’t keep it waiting.

[He pays little to no attention to the teenager’s struggles.  He then proceeds to throw his child. in the driver’s seat.]

Precisely.  We don’t have all night now.  I convinced Pucci to lend me his car.  Grab the keys, we’re heading out right now.

Now don’t be shy son.  I know you must be nervous, but I have complete trust in you and you will do fine.

I didn’t get that last part, but it matters not.  

[The vampire grabs the fruit of his loins and throws him over his shoulder.]

He was most definitely cheating.  I refuse to accept that Vanilla Ice has the skills to defeat me at a board game match.

Back to the topic at hand,  you are sixteen and have yet to required a driver’s license. 

Whatever you say Padre. 

What why would you be afraid?  Have any of my ideas ever put you in peril?  And actually, in this case, I might be the one who ends up afraid depending on your abilities.

I don’t know. That one time we were playing Monopoly and Vanilla Ice was winning you nearly destroyed half the house so…

He was most definitely cheating.  I refuse to accept that Vanilla Ice has the skills to defeat me at a board game match.

Giorno!  Come here I have something the two of us can do right now!

[every ounce of anxiety he had vanished the moment Dio said the word homie. Why was Giorno even nervous in the first place? He knew his father better than that. He knew better than to think Dio could go ten minutes without being his weird self again.]

I’m fine. I, uh, have to clean my room now. Bye.

[Completely oblivious to the embarrassment he was causing his son, he continued with his shenanigans.]  

Giorno wait!  I still not have shown you how “fly” I can be!

[This was not acceptable.  How could let this happen under his own roof?  Sure, Giorno is a teenage boy, and he has more responsibility than the average adolescence, but that was no excuse for his room being an utter mess.  Coming from his prestige bloodline, such display was disgraceful.]

[Why did Dio always want to talk to him when he was up to very important mafia boss things?  Oh well.]

[Was this child being serious?  Did he not see that atrocity that was the boy’s room?  He turned his head to make eye contact with his son.]

[He looked around his room and then back at Dio. Sure his room was a little messy but it wasn’t THAT bad. It could be much worse.]

[Judging by the look of his son’s face, he showed no real concern for the condition his room was.  The vampire was pretty sure he didn’t raise his son this way.]

[Did he really give Dio that many excuses to get out of cleaning his room? Honestly Dio’s seriousness was starting to get to the teen and make him a little nervous.]

[The vampire took notice of the teenager’s rising anxiety.  What did the boy have to be so squeamish about?  He is a good father by his standards.  Thinking on it, maybe he was being too much of a parent.  Being too strict was probably making the boy nervous.}

...Am I making you nervous?  You have no reason to be intimidated by me.  Other people do, but we don’t need to address that.  As I was saying, as your father, I have high expectations of you and expect you to abide by my rules.  With that being said, I am not trying to run this household on tyranny.  Therefore, you don’t need to act all awkward around me.

[He placed his hand on Giorno’s shoulder.]