doly!

it’s been three months since the cast members escaped the amazing digital circus. since you somehow slipped through caine’s fingers, back into the real world with no graphics or pixels.

the entire experience has been surreal. sometimes you wake up gasping in the middle of the night, expecting to be back in that colorful tent. other times, you still half expect to see pomni’s cartoonish jester sprite show up instead of her actual person.

the transition hasn’t been easy for anyone. you all keep in touch with each other in a group chat that gets spoken in every day— whether it’s a simple good morning from ragatha or a hangout invite from zooble. it was a nice pace of normalcy considering the years of being trapped together inside of an ai.

well, all except jax.

he’s been silent— no, he’s been silent towards you. waking up in the real world, he barely exchanged a single sentence with you before he was walking away. kinger updates the group chat about him, despite him being in it. pomni reassures that he’s okay, just taking things hard lately.

but you can’t help but feel the ache in your heart in his absence. all the time you spent in the circus together. the late nights, the intimate talks, the sneaking around from the others to find a corner to kiss in. was everything that happened in the circus between you just fake?

a notification drags you out of your thoughts. your fingers automatically grab your phone and unlock it, the notification bringing you directly into the circus group chat.

a selfie of pomni is displayed on the screen. a cute gangle is beside her holding up a peace sign. you squint your eyes at the blur of shaggy hair in the background. the glare of a boy who did not want to be in the picture but got dragged into it anyway.

you hold your breath.

pomni: trying matcha for the first time with jax and gangle.

wish me luck.

you recognize the shop behind them. it’s the one down the street from your appointment. a simple five minute walk if you were to slip out now. but something stops you. a wall of insecurity. you know that your friends wouldn’t mind if you just showed up. gangle’s next text proves your very point.

gangle: y/n! come join us (˶>⩊<˶)

you almost consider accepting. but would he mind? he’s been avoiding you like the plague for the last three months. like he’s embarrassed of the things you experienced together when stuck in the circus and now doesn’t want to meet your eyes. your real eyes.

is that what this is all about? were you only convenient for him to pass the time in the digital world but now that you’re out— was it different? does he have options and none of them are you anymore?

a sigh escapes as your fingers type a response.

you: srry :( stuck at home catching up on some work

not even a second passes before your phone buzzes again in your hand.

pomni: that’s fine. we’ll bring you something.

you quickly lock your phone and set it down. the thought didn’t even cross your mind that they could just visit you. you figured they’d take your answer and go on with their day.

you glance around at your apartment. it’s one kinger has set up for you after years of being lost to the real world. he pulled some strings at c&a to get you this lovely place in the city. and as eternally grateful as you were for it, suddenly you feel insecure.

the walls were plain with no memories. the furniture still smelled plastic and new. no room was genuinely lived in yet, it almost looked like an ikea display. it was dull compared to the colors of the circus.

you push yourself up from the couch and begin cleaning. folding a blanket here, fluffing a pillow there. you wash the single cup in your sink and wipe the nonexistent fingerprints off your windows. it’s not much but it kept your hands (and more importantly your brain) busy.

by the time you’ve ran out of tasks, your phone buzzes from the counter. you don’t mean to pick it up as fast as you do.

gangle: we’re outside (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ

you feel your heart drop to your stomach. it doubles tenfold when a knock hits your front door.

“coming!” you call out, slowly dragging your feet to the entrance of your home.

through the peephole, pomni and gangle are front and center. they have bags of pastries and a cup holder full of drinks in their hands. your gaze travels pass them to the boy dressed in baggy clothes— as if he just rolled out of bed and threw on the closet pair of jeans.

it wouldn’t be the first time you met jax in person. no, you two officially met when you woke from your shared nightmare of caine. when you had turned to him out of everybody else and he looked past you entirely, opting to greet pomni instead.

“y/n?” gangle’s voice brings you back. she’s staring at the door with a concerned look on her face.

you stumble backwards before taking a deep breath and opening the door.

the light from the afternoon sun shines directly into your space, blinding you. your friends wear smiles on their faces as they step in and kick their shoes off.

“sorry, got distracted.” you rub the back of your neck sheepishly before grabbing the drink holder from gangle’s hands and bringing it over to the kitchen island.

“no worries. we were more so trying to get out of the blazing heat,” pomni waves off, “the sun feels different on our actual skin.”

you laugh softly, “yeah, if i could thank caine for anything it’d be for his choice to not include sweating as part of the experience.”

gangle makes herself comfortable on one of the kitchen stools, “wow, y/n. kinger set this up for you? maybe i should take him up on his offer for me.” she looks around in awe at what minimal things you’ve done to the place that makes it uniquely yours.

“he did! you definitely should if you want to get out of your parents’ place. you know he’d do anything for us after everything.”

your eyes fall back onto the figure still standing at the entrance, leaned back against the closed door. like a threshold is stopping him from taking another step.

jax catches your unexpected eye for a second before he looks away and shoves his hands in his pockets with a sharp exhale.

“anyways, here’s your matcha. gangle swears by this stuff,” pomni grabs one of the drinks and hands it to you. she pauses before turning around, “jax, get over here. this one is yours.” she grabs another cup and puts it to the side for him to reach.

he reluctantly shuffles over and sits on the stool beside gangle. you feel your heart stutter when you see him tear open a straw and blow the paper cover into her face. he laughs the same way he would when breaking her comedy mask in the circus. except this was normal and mundane. and it was making it harder for you to ignore him the way he does you.

pomni clears her throat before offering her cup out to cheers with yours. you give her a small smile before clinking the plastic cups together.

“to old friends,” she says.

“and new memories,” you add.

you simultaneously take a sip of your drinks before both of your faces scrunch up in horror.

“holy shit i just drank a clump of powder,” you cough.

pomni isn’t any better, quickly reaching into the bag of pastries for a chocolate croissant— probably the first thing she found in there.

you miss the way jax looks at you with an amused smile on his face.

“mix it first! i promise it gets better,” gangle insists, taking her own drink and shaking the contents inside as an example. she takes a long, satisfied sip afterwards and smiles.

you follow her instructions and take another sip. it tastes a bit better but the first impression definitely set the tone for how you feel about matcha indefinitely.

your nerves calm down a little after that fiasco. you almost forget about jax sitting in the kitchen when you and the girls migrate over to the couch to keep talking about your lives.

pomni has found an accounting job while gangle is now trying as a freelancing artist. you can only talk about school and how rough it is getting back into a classroom setting after all these years.

you close your eyes for a moment and see a jester and string of red ribbon before opening them and seeing your true friends. a smile washes over your face at the familiarity of it all.

when the sun starts to fade, gangle is first to leave. she plans to catch the bus to make it home sooner. pomni hangs around a bit longer as the moon begins to grace the sky.

“i should get going too. i’ve got an early morning tomorrow,” pomni sighs before standing and smoothing her clothes over.

you can’t help but frown and stand too. “it’s not that late,” you say and she only playfully rolls her eyes.

“besides, i think you two have some stuff to catch up on.” she gives you a knowing look that makes you furrow your brows.

you follow her gaze and see jax still hunched over your kitchen island, phone in hand but he’s frozen like he’s been listening this entire time. your heartbeat starts to pick up again as you nervously turn back to pomni.

“wait, are you sure you want to leave? i’ve got uno!” you weakly insist.

pomni has a mischievous smile dancing on her lips as she quickly grabs her bag and slings it over her shoulder, “yep! im sure. i gotta pay the bills somehow.” she turns on her heel, hand already on the doorknob. “i’ll see you this weekend! jax, you better be there too.” she gives him a knowing look before slipping out, slamming the door shut behind her.

you stare at the empty space that she occupied. the air suddenly feeling thicker and hotter in your apartment. you risk turning around and see jax already looking at you.

“you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

your stomach does a flip as a lazy smile tugs at jax’s lips. “what? kicking me out so soon? not gonna lie, i thought you’d be a better host than this, y/n.” he slides off the stool and leans over the back of the couch nonchalantly.

you furrow your brows at his calm composure. like the last three months of ignoring you after years of being together didn’t affect him. but you know jax. and you know just how nerve wracking this moment is, even for him.

so instead, you sit back into the couch. you don’t lean against it to avoid making any physical contact but you sit comfortably and pat the spot next to you for him to join.

jax pauses and for a moment, you think he won’t take the bait but he quickly lifts himself over the back and lands on the cushion beside you.

“how have you been?” you cringe internally at the small talk. you hate it. you know he hates it. but it feels like your only lifeline right now.

the boy steals a glance at you before crossing his arms, “about as good as i can be after getting my life back after it was stolen for nearly a decade.”

you notice how real his answer is— no joking deflection, no hurling insult. just an honest answer to your question.

“you look like you have your shit together.”

the swear catches you off guard. it’s the first time you’ve ever heard one from him without the cartoonish censor bleeped over it.

you nervously laugh it off, “oh, trust me. i don’t.”

it falls silent after that. neither of you try to fill it. back in the circus, this would’ve been fine. you were used to comfortable silences together, just existing in the same space as each other was enough sometimes.

but this isn’t the circus and this was far from a comfortable silence. its awkward and you feel the moment stretching longer than it should. you start to fidget with your fingers.

“i—“

“i—“

both of you freeze when you speak at the same time. the look in his eyes are unreadable. you stay paused in the moment for a bit longer before he breaks it.

“you go first,” he gestures lazily at you before faltering back into the couch.

you clear your throat and readjust your sitting position, tucking your knees up right below your chin. “i just wanted to say im sorry. if i made you feel weird or anything since we uh… woke up.” you hug your legs protectively as you look anywhere but him.

jax doesn’t say anything for a long time but you can tell he’s looking directly at you. the heat of his stare burns into the side of your head.

“nah, forget about it.” he finally gives in.

the couch shifts and you look to see him getting up. he’s about to turn to leave but you’re quick to grab on his wrist, pulling him back. he stumbles and looks down at you.

“no. i am not just forgetting about it and letting you walk out that door.” you cross your arms. he looks like he’s about to make an excuse but you shake your head, “if you want to pretend i don’t exist and that the last seven years meant nothing then be my guest. but you have to tell me that’s what you want to my face instead of walking away again.”

jax furrows his brow at the sudden attitude and instinctively shoves his hands back into his pockets, “oh jesus christ, can’t you just take the hint? i don’t wanna be around you anymore.”

“i don’t believe that. otherwise you wouldn’t have let pomni and gangle drag you to my apartment today.”

he can’t argue with that. he’s spent years saying no to gangle and he knows exactly how to evade pomni. if he really wanted to, he could’ve just slipped away somewhere down the street on the walk here.

the air stills between you as you wait for his response. it’s not a satisfying one.

“fine! you caught me. i wanted to see the way your face dropped when i walked in through that door after pretending you don’t exist anymore!” a sarcastic grin spreads across his face.

“im not hearing you say it.” you press further.

“because i don’t need to!” he throws his arms up dramatically before running a hand down his face, “why can’t you just move on? you keep acting like we’re supposed to go back to how we were in the circus because what? because we’re human now? newsflash, y/n, but we’re not in the fucking circus anymore!” he waves his hands in front of your face as if to break you from some trance.

you don’t flinch. “then tell me to back off.” he face falters for a second. “tell me you don’t want me in your life anymore and i’ll remove myself from it. i won’t show up to any group hangouts you go to and you will never hear from me again.” the nerves you’ve spent three months nursing finally spilling out from you. you shake in your spot but you don’t step away. “you just need to tell me, right here, right now.”

jax opens and closes his mouth a few times before his jaw tightens. you recognize the motion of him having inner turmoil— like he doesn’t know what to say out of the dozen of options floating in his head.

a hand flies into his hair as he sighs and turns around. his leg begins to bounce, a habit he seemingly hasn’t broken since no longer having the form of a rabbit.

“you… weren’t what i expected.” he says softly and turns back around, both hands running down his face as he sinks back into the couch. his eyes never meet yours.

“what?”

“shut up. you wanted me to talk, so im talking.” you can hear the eye roll in his tone. “i didn’t bother thinking about how life would be outside of the circus. so when we actually got out and i saw you for the first time i—“ he cuts himself off and stares at the opposite wall ahead of him. “i panicked.”

your harsh glare softens slightly as you slowly lower yourself back into the couch, keeping your distance from him on the other side.

he continues, “all i could think about was how much of a life you had ahead of you and that i didn’t have a spot in it anymore.”

jax shifts tensely, not knowing what to do with himself after such a vulnerable confession. you aren’t exactly sure if you know what to do with it either.

“you’re so stupid.”

he groans, “cool. just spilled my heart and guts out to you and all you’ve got is name calling? go fuck yourself—“

“why would you just assume there wasn’t space for you anymore?” you ask softly.

he finally looks up and sees the way you’re back into your protective position, arms wrapped around your knees. you did that even back in the circus.

“i don’t know. you’ve got these annoying bright eyes and the way you looked at me when you woke up made what we had suddenly feel so real.” he throws his head back to stare at the ceiling, “i spent years pushing the thought down but standing face-to-face with you in the real world just brought everything back to the surface.”

jax exhales heavily. like the confession took everything in him. which, knowing him, it probably did. “like i said. just forget about it. forget about me.”

“you’re pushing me away because you want to protect yourself,” i slowly muse, “that sounds familiar.”

he lets out a breathless laugh, almost unbelieving. “yeah. the first time we met in the circus.”

“and how did that work out for you?”

“it didn’t.” he turns to fully face. it’s the first time you’re able to see him up close. the real him.

your eyes trace the shadows that fall over his face that blends in with his shaggy brown hair. he has big brown puppy dog eyes which is a stark contrast from the yellows you’ve spent years looking into. but this was still your jax. the same stupid rabbit you fell in love with. you can tell in the way he carries himself and the way he awkwardly flattens his lips. his nose even twitches still if you catch it at the right moment.

“i don’t think i’ve ever thought about my future for a second and didn’t see you in it.” you softly say. “rabbit or human. it never mattered to me. all that did was you.”

jax looks away. “don’t just say things like that. it’s embarrassing— for you, not me.” you see right through his deflection.

“you like it.”

without another word, you shift closer to him on the couch. close enough so your knees touch. he doesn’t pull away this time. not after doing so everyday for the last three months.

the space isn’t completely the same as before between you but the weight on your shoulders feels lighter.

jax gently rests his hand on your knee, still refusing to look at you with a heated blush down his neck. it’s fine though because when you look at him, this is the jax you know— not the boy who's been running but the stupid dork beside you who thinks he’s too cool to be here in this moment.

eventually, the moon shines through the window making the speckles of dust easier to see afloat. a reminder of how much more real this is compared to the pixels of the circus. how real and warm jax’s touch is against you. you lean into it all.

when you move again, you rest your head into the crook of his neck. you can feel him relax under your touch. he’s the one who breaks the silence.

“you’re prettier than i imagined.”

your hand moves from your robe to your stomach, pressing against the plane of your belly. you're small. you know this. delicate in a way that makes people underestimate you. and blind. gods, the blindness. the one thing that has sent every single suitor running in the opposite direction.

princes would see your face first—the one they called ethereal, otherworldly, beautiful in a way that seemed impossible—and they'd fall to their knees.

they'd whisper sweet words, promises of devotion, declarations of love at first sight. and then you'd speak, and they'd realize your eyes didn't track their movements, didn't meet their gaze. and slowly, painfully, you'd listen to them pull away. hear the hesitation creep into their voices. feel the distance grow until they were gone.

you were used to it.

but sukuna? sukuna had looked at you once, for a single moment, and said yes. the entire empire had been shocked. the king of curses, the ruthless murderer, the emperor who had never shown interest in any woman, accepting a blind bride from a neighboring kingdom? it was scandalous. impossible.

and you'd felt hope.

you hate yourself for that hope now.

because three months of silence have taught you the truth. he doesn't want you. he tolerates you. and honestly? you'd almost prefer cruelty. at least cruelty would be a reaction. at least cruelty would mean he saw you as something worth acknowledging.

but this nothingness? this endless, suffocating nothingness?

it makes you feel like you've already disappeared.

the servants guide you through your days with practiced efficiency. they dress you, feed you, lead you through the palace halls. you've memorized the layout of your chambers, the path to the gardens, the number of steps from your room to the dining hall. you've learned to navigate this world without sight, just as you've always done.

but you can't navigate him.

you don't know where he sits at meals. you don't know if he watches you. you don't know if he even notices when you're in the same room. his presence is a void—a massive, oppressive absence of warmth that you can feel but never touch.

tonight was bad.

you'd been led to the gardens by a new servant, someone who didn't know your habits. she'd taken you left instead of right, and you'd walked straight into a hedge, thorns scratching your calves before she'd yanked you back with a flurry of apologies.

then you'd almost fallen down a staircase—the grand staircase with its uneven steps—your foot catching on the edge, your heart lurching into your throat as you'd pitched forward. a guard caught you just in time.

and the whispers.

you can't see their faces, but you can hear their voices. the concubines. the noblewomen. the servants who think you can't hear them.

"the blind empress."

"does he even notice her?"

"i heard he hasn't touched her once."

"what a waste of a pretty face."

"she must be so lonely."

"she must be so pathetic."

you'd smiled through all of it. kept your head high, your shoulders back, your voice steady. you learned long ago that showing weakness only invites more cruelty. so you'd walked through the halls with your practiced grace, your cane tapping against the marble floors, your face serene.

but inside, you were crumbling.

and now, lying in this massive bed, with your hair spread across a silk pillow and the scent of incense curling through the air, you can feel him beside you. he's so close. you know he's sitting up, his back probably against the headboard, his presence a heavy weight in the darkness.

does he ever sleep?

you've never heard him snore. never heard him shift in his sleep. he's so still, so silent, you sometimes wonder if he's even real.

a long, long time passes. the candles burn down. the incense fades. the night wraps around you like a shroud.

and you can't take it anymore.

"ryomen?"

your voice comes out soft, barely above a whisper. you hate how small you sound. how vulnerable. you'd wanted to sound strong, confident, demanding. instead, you sound like a child calling out in the dark.

silence.

you wait. count your heartbeats. one. two. three. four. five.

just when you're certain he's ignoring you, just when the familiar ache of rejection settles into your chest, a voice cuts through the darkness.

"what."

it's gruff. low. a single word that rumbles through the air like distant thunder. and it's the most he's said to you in days.

you swallow. your throat is dry. your fingers twist in the sheets.

"i...i want to ask you something."

more silence. you can feel him staring at you. you can't see it, but you can feel it—the weight of his gaze, heavy and unreadable.

"ask."

you take a shaky breath. this is it. this is the moment you've been building toward for three months. the question that's been eating you alive, consuming you from the inside out.

"do you hate me?"

the words hang in the air between you. they sound so small. so pathetic. you wish you could take them back, but it's too late. they're out there now, exposed and raw.

"hate you?" his voice is strange. almost...confused?

"because of...because i'm...y'know, blind." the words taste like ash in your mouth. "i know it's...i know i'm not what you expected. i know i'm not the best option. i know i'm—"

"stop."

the word is sharp, and you flinch. your breath catches in your throat. you brace yourself for anger, for cruelty, for him to finally confirm what you've suspected all along.

but instead of harsh words, you feel movement. the bed shifts. his weight moves closer.

and then, without warning, a hand wraps around your waist and pulls.

you let out a frightened shriek as you're yanked from your position, your body colliding with something solid and warm. your hands fly out, grasping at fabric, at skin, at anything. you're on his lap, straddling his thighs, your chest pressed against his. he's so big—so impossibly large—that you feel like a doll in his arms.

"ryomen!" your voice is high, panicked. "what—"

"quiet."

his hand settles on your thigh. it's huge. calloused. rough in a way that sends shivers down your spine. but the touch is gentle. impossibly gentle. he strokes your thigh once, twice, a soothing motion that slowly calms your racing heart.

"you really think," he says slowly, his voice rumbling against your chest, "that i hate you?"

you can't speak. your throat is too tight. you settle for shaking your head against his chest, even though it's a lie.

a low sound escapes him—not quite a growl, not quite a laugh. his hand slides from your thigh to your chin, tilting your face up. his thumb brushes across your lower lip, feather-light.

"open your eyes."

the command catches you off guard. "what?"

"your eyes. open them."

you blink, confused. your eyes are already open. you can't see anything, but they're open. you tell him as much.

"no." his voice is strange. softer. "i mean...look at me."

"i can't see you."

"i know." his thumb traces your jawline. "but i can see you. and i want to see your eyes. please."

please.

the word catches you off guard. the king of curses, saying please? to you?

you don't move. don't breathe. just let him hold your face in his massive hand, his touch devastatingly tender.

"i don't hate you," he says, and his voice cracks on the words. "gods, woman. i could never hate you."

your heart stutters. "then why—"

"because i'm fuckin' terrified."

you blink. "what?"

"do you know what i am?" his hand slides from your face to your hair, fingers threading through the strands. "i'm a killer. i've been killing for centuries. my hands are stained with blood i'll never wash clean. i'm rough, and violent, and i don't know how to be gentle."

"but—"

"but when i saw you..." he trails off. his fingers tighten in your hair, just barely. "when i saw you, i couldn't breathe. you were so beautiful. so small. so... perfect. and i thought, 'she's too good f'me.' , 'i'll break her.' , 'i'll hurt her.'"

his voice drops to a whisper.

"so i stayed away. because every time i look at you, i want to touch you. and every time i touch you, i'm afraid i'll destroy you."

tears prick at your eyes. you don't understand. you can't understand. this entire time, you thought he hated you. you thought he found you repulsive, broken, worthless.

but he was...

...afraid?

"you don't hate me?" you whisper.

"no." his forehead presses against yours. "i love you. i've loved you since the moment i saw you."

a sob escapes your throat. it's ugly and raw and you can't stop it.

"but you never—you never talked to me—"

"because i didn't trust myself." his other hand comes up to cup your cheek. "because i knew if i started, i wouldn't be able to stop."

"then don't stop."

the words leave your mouth before you can think. they hang in the air, bold and desperate.

"don't stop," you repeat. "please. i don't want you to stop."

sukuna goes still. so still that you wonder if he's stopped breathing.

"you don't know what you're asking."

"i do." you reach up, your fingers finding his face. you trace the planes of his cheeks, the sharp lines of his jaw, the curve of his lips. "you're my husband. i want you. all of you."

"i'll hurt you."

"i don't care."

"i'll break you."

"i don't care."

his breath hitches. and then, finally, finally, his lips crash against yours.

the kiss is desperate. hungry. it tastes like three months of longing, of confusion, of aching loneliness. his hand fists in your hair, pulling you closer, and you gasp against his mouth. his tongue slides against your lower lip, asking for entry, and you give it willingly.

he tastes like sake and power and something darker. something that makes your toes curl and your heart race.

he pulls back, breathless.

"tell me to stop, and i will."

"don't," you say immediately. "don't stop."

he groans. his hands slide down your back, gripping your hips, and he lays you down on the bed. you fall against the silk sheets, your hair spreading around you like a halo. you can't see him, but you can feel him—his weight on the bed, his heat surrounding you, his breath ghosting across your skin.

"m'gonna show you," he says, his voice low and rough. "m'gonna kiss every inch of your body. gonna taste you until you scream my name. i want to make you feel so good that you forget every single doubt you've ever had about yourself."

your breath catches. "ryomen—"

"let me." his lips brush against your neck. "let me show you how much i love you."

you nod, unable to speak.

his hands find the tie of your robe. he undoes it slowly, reverently, like he's unwrapping a gift he's been waiting centuries to open. the fabric falls away, cool air hitting your skin, and you shiver.

"beautiful," he breathes. "so fucking beautiful."

you feel his lips on your collarbone. soft. worshipful. he kisses down your chest, his tongue tracing a path between your breasts. his hands cup your breasts, thumbs brushing across your nipples, and you gasp.

"sensitive," he murmurs. "good. i'll remember that."

he takes one nipple into his mouth. his tongue circles the peak, slow and deliberate, and you arch into him with a desperate moan. he laves at you, sucking gently, nipping with his teeth until you're writhing beneath him.

"more," you gasp. "please—"

"patience." his voice is a dark promise. "i haven't even started with ya' yet."

he switches to the other breast, giving it the same attention. his hand slides down your stomach, fingers tracing patterns on your skin, until he reaches the apex of your thighs. you're already wet—embarrassingly wet—and he lets out a low growl when he feels it.

"fuck," he mutters against your skin. "you're soaked. f'me?"

"yes," you whimper. "only you."

he groans. his fingers slide through your folds, collecting your wetness, and you buck into his touch.

"tell me what you want."

"i want—" you gasp as his thumb circles your clit. "m'want your mouth."

his laugh is dark and breathless. "demanding little thing, aren't ya'?"

"please," you beg. "ryo, please—"

"shh." he kisses your stomach. "i'll give ya' what y'want."

he moves down your body, his lips leaving a trail of fire. he kisses your hips, your thighs, the inside of your knees. by the time he reaches your core, you're trembling, desperate, aching.

and then his tongue touches you.

you cry out, your hands flying to his hair. he laps at you like a man starved, his tongue sliding through your folds, circling your clit, dipping inside you. he moans against you, the vibration sending shockwaves through your body.

"taste s'good," he mutters against your skin. "could eat ya' forever."

he sucks your clit into his mouth, and you scream. your hips buck against his face, but he holds you down, his massive hands gripping your thighs. he alternates between sucking and licking, building a rhythm that has you climbing higher and higher.

"that's it," he praises. "let go f'me...lemme taste ya'."

his fingers find your entrance, sliding inside you without warning. two fingers, thick and long, stretching you. he curls them, hitting a spot that makes you see stars, and you shatter.

you come with a scream of his name, your body convulsing as waves of pleasure crash through you. he doesn't stop. he laps at you through your orgasm, drawing it out until you're sobbing from the intensity.

when you finally come down, he crawls up your body, his lips finding yours. you taste yourself on his tongue, and it's the most intimate thing you've ever experienced.

"m-more," you whisper. "m'want more."

his eyes—you can feel them—search your face.

"are you sure? we can stop. we can—"

"i'm sure." you reach for him, your fingers finding his chest. "i want you...please."

he hesitates. you feel the tension in his muscles, the restraint he's barely holding onto.

"m'bigger than ya'," he says, matter of factly. "a lot bigger. and i have...i have two dicks, woman. i don't know if—"

"i don't care." you pull him closer. "i trust you."

he groans, pressing his forehead against yours.

"if it hurts too much, tell me. and i'll stop."

"okay."

"promise me."

"i promise."

he shifts above you, and you feel something heavy and thick press against your thigh. and then another. two cocks. the thought should terrify you, but instead, it sends a thrill through your body.

he aligns himself with your entrance, and you feel the tip pressing against you. he's huge—so much bigger than his fingers—and you wonder if you can actually take him.

"relax f'me," he murmurs. "breathe."

you inhale deeply, and he pushes in.

just the tip, and you gasp. he's stretching you in a way that's almost unbearable. it hurts. there's a burning sensation, a pressure that's too much and not enough.

"shh," he soothes. "you're doing s'well. so good f'me."

he pushes deeper, inch by agonizing inch. you feel your body struggling to accommodate him, your walls clenching around his length. and then—

a sharp pain.

fuck...you forgot.

you cry out, your nails digging into his shoulders. he stops immediately.

"did i hurt ya'?"

you can't answer. the pain is fading, replaced by a strange fullness. you feel something wet trickle down your thigh. warm. sticky.

blood.

his eyes slowly flicker down, and you can hear his breath stop. he's tense. too tense.

"fuck," he hisses. "you're—you're a fuckin' virgin?"

you nod weakly, biting your lip. your heart is pounding fast. loud. "is that...bad?"

"no." his voice is strained. "no, it's not bad. i just—fuck—i didn't know. i would have been more careful, woman."

"you are being careful," you whisper, fingers pressing into his shoulders "keep going."

"you're fuckin' bleeding."

"i don't care. please. i want to feel you." you sniffle. god, the pleasure is making you bold. too fucking bold.

he lets out a shaky breath. "you're going to kill me."

but he pushes deeper, slower this time. gentler. his lips find yours, kissing you softly as he sinks into you. the pain fades, replaced by a deep, aching fullness that makes you moan.

when he's fully sheathed, he stops. lets you adjust. his forehead presses against yours, his breath ragged.

"y'feel incredible," he breathes. "so tight. so...fuck...perfect."

"move," you beg. "please."

he pulls out slowly, then pushes back in. the friction is delicious, the stretch exquisite. he sets a rhythm—slow, deep, deliberate—each thrust hitting a spot that makes you see stars.

"ryomen," you gasp. "r-ryo—"

"i know," he murmurs. "i know, doll. feels s'good, doesn't it?"

"yes—yes—"

his hand slides down your stomach, pressing against the slight bulge where he's buried inside you. the feeling makes you moan.

"look at that," he says, awe in his voice. "you can feel me, can't ya'? right here."

he presses down, and you feel it—the outline of him inside you. it's obscene. it's incredible.

"more," you gasp. "harder—"

"y'sure?"

"yes—please—"

he obliges. his pace quickens, his thrusts becoming more urgent. the bed creaks beneath you, the sound mixing with your moans and his grunts.

"gonna come," he warns. "where do you want it?"

"inside," you gasp. "please—i want to feel you—"

he groans, his hips slamming into yours. and then he's coming, hot and thick, filling you so completely. you feel it—his release pouring into you, painting your walls, claiming you from the inside. his cum is already trickling down your thigh, oozing out of your cunt.

at the same time, he's stroking his other cock. you feel the wet spurts hit your stomach, warm and sticky.

he collapses on top of you, careful not to crush you. his face buries in your neck, and you feel his breath, ragged and uneven.

"i love you," he whispers, gruff. it's funny. you've always thought the word love doesn't exist in his vocabulary. but here he is, saying it over and over again. "i love you so much it terrifies me."

you wrap your arms around him, pulling him closer.

"i love you too."

a long moment passes. then another. and then—

"we're going to do that again."

you laugh, breathless.

"right now?"

"after i clean you up." he kisses your neck. "and then again. and again. and again. until ya' can't walk."

"promise?"

he pulls back, and even though you can't see him, you know he's smirking.

"promise."

you're already half asleep when he pulls you against his chest, his arms wrapped around you like he's afraid you'll disappear. his lips press against your hair, your forehead, your eyelids.

"my wife," he murmurs. "my perfect, beautiful wife."

you smile against his skin.

"my husband."

"forever."

"forever."

2026 ── 𝓦𝐎𝐑𝐊 𝐎𝐅 @atelphobist 𝜗ৎ

ᥫ᭡ | © 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘳. 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝘯𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘪.

For weeks after the Red Force sailed away, you stayed close to Luffy without anyone needing to tell you. You slept lighter. You checked every crowded street twice.

But time had a way of making fear feel foolish.

Six months was long enough for you to start thinking maybe he had only been passing through your life after all.

So when the Sunny came within half a day of your home island, you asked to visit.

“My family lives near here,” you said. “I haven’t seen them in a while.”

Luffy looked up from where he was sitting cross-legged on the deck.

“You should visit,” he said simply.

You blinked. “Just like that?”

“Yeah.” He grinned. “They’ll be happy to see you.”

Nami gave you enough money to make you roll your eyes. Chopper packed medicine you did not need. Usopp told you to bring back local sweets.

For the first few days, the visit went well.

Your aunt cried when she saw you and then scolded you for looking thinner. Your uncle hugged you hard enough to lift you off your feet.

Your grandmother sat in her chair by the front window, blanket over her lap, and held your face between both hands.

“Still too pretty for sense,” she said.

You laughed before you could stop yourself.

The house had not changed much. The kitchen still smelled like bread. The hallway floor still creaked in the same place.

It felt good.

Too good, maybe.

You helped wash dishes. You swept the porch. You ran errands when your aunt tried to pretend she did not need anything.

On the fourth morning, you went alone.

The market was crowded but familiar. People called your name. You bought more than you meant to.

Fresh bread. Apples. A small packet of sweets for Usopp. Tea for your aunt.

By the time you started back, the basket was heavy against your arm.

You were halfway up the road when you heard hammering.

At first, you thought nothing of it.

Then you turned the corner and stopped. There were men outside your grandmother’s house.

Red Hair pirates.

Yasopp was halfway up a ladder, prying away a warped strip of siding. Limejuice stood below him, holding fresh boards under one arm. Two more crewmates were clearing old wood from the yard.

Your basket slipped in your grip.

Someone laughed.

A big, warm laugh from the porch.

Lucky Roux.

He was sitting on the front step with a hammer in one hand and what looked like half of your aunt’s fresh bread in the other.

Your uncle saw you first.

“There you are!” he called. “You didn’t tell us you had friends with carpentry skills.”

Your mouth went dry.

Lucky looked over.

His face brightened.

“Morning.”

You could not answer.

The front door opened behind him, and your aunt stepped out.

“Oh, good, you’re back!”

You stood in the yard, staring.

Your aunt followed your gaze to the ladder, then smiled like this was the most pleasant surprise in the world.

“Isn’t it kind of them?” she said. “Your grandmother mentioned the siding once, and Captain Shanks had his men out here before I could even offer lunch.”

Captain Shanks.

The name moved through you like cold water.

No.

Your body moved before your thoughts did.

You stepped past her, across the porch, through the open front door.

Your grandmother’s voice reached you first.

“Well, aren’t you charming?”

Then his laugh.

Low. Warm. Familiar enough to make your stomach twist.

You stopped in the doorway to the sitting room.

Shanks was there.

He sat in your uncle’s chair like he belonged there, a cup of coffee resting in his hand.

Your grandmother sat across from him, smiling.

Shanks looked up.

For half a second, nothing about his expression changed. He only looked at you over the rim of his cup, calm and pleased, as if he had been waiting for this exact moment.

Then he smiled.

“There you are,” your grandmother said, turning toward you. “You never told me you knew such a polite young man.”

You could not move.

Shanks stood.

Slowly. Respectfully.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he said.

Your aunt came in behind you, basket still in hand.

“Well isn’t that sweet,” she said softly.

Your throat tightened.

Your grandmother looked between you and him with open interest.

“You’ve been holding out on us,” she said. “A captain like this turns up at my door asking after you, and I’m supposed to believe you never thought to mention him?”

“He knows Luffy,” you said.

Shanks’s eyes stayed on you.

“I do.”

The answer was harmless. The way he said it was not.

Your aunt smiled from beside the doorway. “Well, he speaks very highly of you.”

Your stomach tightened.

Shanks lifted his cup.

“Hard not to.”

Your uncle appeared in the hallway behind you, dust on his sleeves and suspicion nowhere on his face.

“They’re doing a fine job out there,” he said.

Your aunt set the basket on the small table by the door and touched your arm.

“Come help me put these away.”

You followed her into the kitchen.

The moment you were out of the sitting room, your aunt turned to you with a look you knew too well.

“He’s lovely,” she whispered.

Your stomach dropped.

“Auntie.”

“What?” she whispered. “He’s handsome, polite, and your grandmother already adores him.”

“He shouldn’t be here.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” She brushed your hair back like she had when you were younger. “A man comes all this way, fixes your grandmother’s siding, and looks at you like that?”

Your fingers curled against your palms.

“You deserve to be treated well,” she said. “You know that, don’t you?”

In the sitting room, Shanks laughed at something your grandmother said.

Your aunt glanced toward the sound with a smile and squeezed your arm.

“You should go catch up! He came all this way.”

You looked toward the sitting room.

Shanks was standing, his coffee set aside. Your grandmother was still talking, but his eyes were on the kitchen doorway.

On you.

Waiting.

Your mouth went dry.

—————————

Your aunt sent you to show Shanks the back garden.

That was the excuse, at least.

Shanks followed you without comment.

The garden was half-wild, herbs growing thick near the fence, flowers leaning into one another where your grandmother could no longer keep them trimmed.

You stopped near the old stone path, far enough from the windows that your family could not hear every word.

Shanks stopped behind you.

“You shouldn’t be here,” you said.

“That’s not a very nice way to greet an old friend.”

You turned to face him.

“We’re not friends.”

“No,” he said, stepping closer. “We’re not.”

Your back went stiff.

His voice dropped.

“Six months,” he said. “You made me wait a long time, sweetheart.”

Your fingers curled at your sides. “How did you find me?”

Shanks tilted his head, like the question amused him.

“I never lost you,” he said.

The garden seemed to quiet around you.

“What does that mean?”

“It means I was waiting for the right time to visit.”

Your stomach turned cold. He said it gently. That made it worse.

“You look good,” he said.

The shift made your pulse trip.

You hated him for that too. For knowing exactly when to pull back. For dressing the threat in sweetness.

“You always did,” he continued, eyes lowering briefly before returning to your face. “But here? In the place that raised you?” His voice softened. “I understand you better now.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I know enough.”

“You know what you watched.”

“That’s more than most people see.”

The words hit closer than you wanted.

You looked away.

Shanks stepped closer, and this time you did not have room to move back.

“You should have stayed closer to Luffy,” he said.

Your stomach tightened.

“That was a threat.”

“No,” Shanks said softly. “That was your warning.”

“Shanks.”

He smiled at the sound of his name.

“I missed that.”

You took a breath and hated that it shook. “I have a crew.”

“I know.”

“I’m going back to them.”

Shanks looked at you. His smile stayed easy, but something behind it cooled.

“I’ve been patient with you,” he said. “Let me stay charming a little longer.”

Then his hand lifted, slow enough that you saw it coming. His fingers brushed a loose piece of hair away from your cheek.

You sucked in a breath before you could stop it.

His eyes dropped to your mouth.

“You don’t need to be scared of me,” he said.

“That would be easier to believe if you hadn’t followed me home.”

That made him laugh. The sound moved through you before you could guard against it.

His hand slipped to the side of your neck. Not gripping. Just resting there, his fingers warm against your skin.

“I missed you,” he said.

“You don’t know me well enough to miss me.”

“I know how long six months felt.” His fingers settled more securely at your neck. “And I know I like you better within reach.”

Your eyes dropped to his mouth before you could stop them.

“You have to stop,” you said.

“Do you want me to?”

You opened your mouth.

Nothing came out.

His smile did not widen. That would have been easier. Instead, his face softened, like he was fond of your silence.

Like your hesitation pleased him more than any answer.

He leaned closer, voice lowering until it was only for you.

“You keep acting like coming with me would be the worst thing that could happen to you.”

Someone laughed. Your uncle called for another board. The house was close enough that you could hear every word.

Your family was right there.

That should have protected you.

Instead, it only reminded you that he knew exactly where they lived.

Shanks’s gaze flicked briefly toward the house.

“You have a good family,” he said.

Your stomach dropped.

“Don’t.”

His eyes returned to yours.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t talk about them.”

“I’m complimenting them.”

“You’re warning me.”

Shanks looked at you for a long moment. Then his smile came back again.

“I’m telling you I understand why you came back.”

He stepped closer, and this time your back touched the garden fence.

“I’m also telling you,” he said, “that wherever you go, I’ll know how to find you.”

He lifted his hand from your neck and touched your cheek with the back of his fingers, almost tender.

“So you can make this hard,” he said, “or you can let me be good to you.”

“You’re trying to confuse me,” you whispered.

“No,” Shanks said. “I’m trying to give you time to choose the easier answer.”

Your eyes burned.

“My crew will come back for me.”

“I know.”

“Luffy will come back for me.”

At that, something changed.

Small.

A flicker through his eyes. A brief tightening at the corner of his mouth.

Then it was gone.

“I know,” he said again.

He leaned in.

You turned your face slightly, but not enough.

His mouth brushed the side of your neck, just beneath your ear.

You went still.

The kiss he gave you was sweet.

Too sweet.

Soft enough that anyone watching from the window might have thought it gentle. Harmless. Affectionate.

But his lips lingered there for one extra second, warm against your pulse, and his voice touched your skin when he spoke.

“Then we should talk before he does.”

The Red Force had a better library than the Thousand Sunny.

You had not expected that.

Real shelves.

Rows of them, built into the inner wall of a quiet room below deck, secured with brass latches against rough seas. Some books were old enough that their spines had cracked. Others were wrapped in cloth, carefully labeled.

You had spent the first five minutes just staring.

Usopp had been impressed for about thirty seconds. Luffy had pulled out one book, opened it upside down, declared it boring, and left to find Shanks.

Which meant you were alone.

That was exactly how you liked libraries.

You sat on the floor with your back against one of the shelves and a book open across your lap.

It felt safe down here.

Quiet.

Separate.

Until the door opened.

You looked up.

Shanks stood in the doorway.

“Didn’t mean to disturb you,” he said.

His voice was warm. Easy.

It still made your stomach pull tight.

“You didn’t,” you said quickly.

A lie.

His smile deepened like he had heard the lie and enjoyed it.

“You found the library.”

“It’s impressive.”

“More impressive than the Sunny’s?”

You hesitated.

Shanks laughed softly. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell Luffy.”

You had been avoiding him since the two crews met again. Not obviously. You were not rude. You smiled when spoken to.

But Shanks noticed things.

You had felt it.

His eyes lingered too long. Not in the careless way Sanji’s did, or the openly curious way some men looked when they found someone pretty. Shanks watched as if he were learning you. As if every small habit mattered.

How you held your cup.

How often you looked toward exits.

How you went quiet when a room got too loud.

How you moved away every time he came close.

He stepped inside and shut the door behind him.

“What are you reading?” he asked.

You glanced down, grateful for something to look at. “A travel journal.”

“Good one?”

“So far.”

He crossed the room slowly before lowering himself into a crouch with ease.

He was too close.

Close enough that you could see the faint scarred texture near his eye.

His gaze moved over your face.

“You’re prettier when you’re not hiding behind your captain,” he said.

Your breath stopped for half a second.

“I don’t hide behind Luffy.”

“No?” Shanks asked.

There was no mockery in it.

That made it worse.

You looked away first.

His hand came up.

You went still.

He did not touch you. His fingers stopped near your cheek.

“Easy, sweetheart,” he said. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Sweetheart.

The word landed too softly.

Too naturally.

You should have laughed awkwardly and said not to call you that.

Instead, you froze.

His eyes sharpened.

There it was again. That feeling that he had just learned something.

“You’re nervous around me,” he said.

“You’re an emperor.”

“That all?”

You forced yourself to meet his eyes.

Bad idea.

He was smiling, but his eyes were not kind. They were bright. Focused. Hungry in a way he was not bothering tohide anymore.

“No,” you admitted before you could stop yourself.

Shanks’s smile faded slowly.

His fingers brushed your cheek.

The touch was light enough to deny, but your body betrayed you anyway. Your lips parted. Your shoulders drew in. Your pulse jumped beneath your skin.

Shanks saw all of it.

“That’s honest,” he said quietly.

You tried to move back, but the shelf was behind you.

He leaned closer.

Your book slipped slightly against your knees. You caught it before it fell, and his gaze dropped to your hands, then to your mouth.

“You’ve been hard to catch today,” he said.

“I wasn’t trying to be caught.”

“No,” Shanks said softly. “You were trying very hard not to be.”

Your fingers tightened around the book.

He was too close, and too good-looking, and you hated that your body noticed.

Dangerous things should not be allowed to look like that.

“You’re staring,” he said.

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

Your face warmed.

His thumb touched the corner of your mouth.

You stopped breathing.

Shanks watched your reaction like it pleased him.

Then he smiled again, slower this time.

“That’s what I thought,” he said softly.

The door opened.

You jerked back so hard your head hit the shelf.

“Oops,” Lucky Roux said from the doorway.

He did not look even slightly apologetic.

Shanks did not move away immediately.

He stayed there, crouched in front of you, his thumb still close to your mouth, his attention still fixed on you as if Lucky were no more important than a change in the wind.

Then he stood.

The room felt colder without him that close.

“What is it?” Shanks asked.

“Beck needs you.”

Shanks sighed.

You used the distraction to scramble to your feet, clutching the book to your chest.

Shanks glanced at you.

“Take it with you,” he said.

“I shouldn’t—”

“I said take it.”

Your mouth closed.

There was that shift again. Warmth over command. Smile over steel.

You nodded once.

He stepped aside to let you pass.

You moved quickly, but not quickly enough.

As you slipped past him, he grabbed your wrist. His mouth lowered near your ear.

“Don’t hide too well tonight, sweetheart.”

Then he let go.

You left without looking back.

————————

That night, the beach was lit with fires.

The locals had insisted on a gathering before the Red Hair Pirates left the island.

You stayed near Nami and Robin at first.

That had been the plan.

Stay close. Eat slowly. Laugh when Luffy nearly set his own sandal on fire. Keep your eyes away from the Red Hair captain.

Mostly.

Sometimes you slipped.

Sometimes you looked and found Shanks already looking back.

Every time, he smiled.

Every time, you looked away first.

Then someone pressed a cup into your hand.

The drink was sweet enough to hide how strong it was, and Nami laughed when your face changed after the second swallow.

“Careful,” she said. “That one sneaks up on you.”

“It tastes like fruit.”

“That’s how it gets you.”

Robin’s mouth curved over the rim of her cup.

You should have listened.

Instead, you finished it.

Then you had another.

Usopp dragged you into a terrible dance, all flailing arms and unnecessary spins, until you were laughing too hard to keep your drink steady.

When the song ended, you looked down and found your cup empty.

You found the drink table near the edge of the gathering. The jug was heavier than you expected. You had to use both hands to tilt it, and a little spilled over the side of your cup.

You laughed under your breath.

“Trouble?”

You froze.

Shanks stood several paces back half-swallowed by the dark.

“I’m not trouble.”

“No,” he said, walking toward you. “Of course not.”

You hated that he sounded amused.

He stopped in front of you, close enough that you had to tilt your head back to look at him.

“You’ve been avoiding me again,” he said.

“I’ve been busy.”

“Dancing with Usopp?”

“He has a very demanding style.”

Shanks smiled.

You wished he would stop doing that.

His gaze dropped to the cup in your hand.

“How many of those have you had?”

“Enough to know you’re still intimidating.”

His smile widened.

Shanks reached out and took the cup from your hand.

“Hey.”

“You can have it back.”

He stepped around you instead, carrying it with him.

“Shanks.”

He glanced over his shoulder.

The look was quick. Warm. Pleased.

Like he had known you would.

He led you around the back of the drink table, just far enough that the barrels blocked you from the main fire. The party was still close, but the shadows made it feel private.

Your steps slowed.

He noticed.

“Relax,” he said, setting your cup on one of the barrels. “I’m only stealing a minute.”

Shanks leaned back against the crates, loose and unhurried, but his eyes stayed fixed on you.

“You have any idea what you’ve done to me these last few days?”

You blinked. “I haven’t done anything.”

“You didn’t have to.”

The wind lifted your hair against your cheek.

Shanks reached out and tucked it back. His fingers lingered near your jaw, then slid slowly to the side of your neck.

“You sit there quiet as anything,” he said, voice lower now. “You watch everyone. You slip out of rooms before they get too crowded. You avoid me like you know exactly what I want from you.”

Your breath caught.

His thumb moved once against your throat.

“And then you look at me anyway.”

Your arms loosened.

You did not mean for them to.

His gaze dropped, catching the movement.

“I keep wondering,” he said, “where else you’d go quiet if I touched you.”

Your lips parted before you could stop them.

His eyes dropped to your mouth again, and this time he did not bother hiding the satisfaction on his face.

The gathering felt farther away. Luffy’s laugh rose somewhere beyond the dune, bright and familiar, but Shanks’s hand was at the back of your neck, and you could not make yourself move.

“We leave in the morning,” he said.

You blinked. “I know.”

“Come with me.”

The words were so direct that for a moment you thought you had misunderstood them.

“What?”

“Come with me,” he repeated.

No hesitation. No softness. No attempt to make it sound casual.

Your chest tightened.

“I’m a Straw Hat,” you said.

“I know.”

The longer he stayed quiet, the harder it became to breathe.

You tried to soften your voice. “I’m flattered. Really. But no.”

The word hung between you.

No.

Shanks looked at your mouth as if you had handed him something interesting.

“You’re loyal,” he said.

“Yes.”

For the first time that night, something cold passed over his face.

It was gone almost immediately.

Shanks looked at your mouth.

“Can I kiss you, sweetheart?”

Your heart jumped hard.

You looked at his mouth.

Then back at his eyes.

“Yes.”

Shanks did not rush.

He lowered his head slowly. His nose brushed yours, then his mouth touched yours.

The kiss started softer than you expected.

Warm. Controlled. Almost careful.

That lasted until you kissed him back.

His hand slid from your face into your hair, fingers threading close to your scalp. He pulled once and your head tipped back for him.

You rose onto your toes without thinking.

Shanks stepped in until your back hit a crate, his body holding you there while his mouth moved harder over yours.

He made a low sound against your mouth.

His hand left your hair and wrapped around your throat. Not tight enough to hurt. Just enough to hold you still as he parted your lips with his and slid his tongue against yours.

You tasted liquor on him.

Or maybe that was you.

You could not tell anymore.

His chest pressed into yours as the kiss turned hotter.

Your knees brushed his leg.

He broke the kiss just enough to speak.

“Come with me in the morning.”

Your eyes opened halfway.

His mouth touched the corner of yours.

“Shanks—”

“I’ll give you whatever you want.”

He kissed you again before you could answer. Your fingers moved from his shirt to his shoulder.

“Shanks.”

“There,” he murmured, mouth moving to your jaw. “Say my name like that again.”

You turned your face, but he followed, mouth moving to the side of your neck. He kissed you there once, then opened his mouth against your skin and bit down.

Your fingers dug into his shoulder.

Shanks held the pressure for one slow second before easing off, his tongue passing over the mark he had left.

“Come be with me,” he said against your skin.

Your eyes squeezed shut.

“No.”

It came out weak.

He heard it.

His mouth curved against your neck.

“That one didn’t sound convincing.”

You grabbed his hair and pulled his mouth back to yours.

The kiss turned messy.

Your fault this time.

You kissed him harder than you meant to, and Shanks answered immediately. His tongue slid against yours again and you made a small sound you wished you could take back.

He swallowed it.

Then he pulled back just enough to look at you.

His hair was messy from your fingers. His mouth was wet. His eyes had gone dark in a way that made your pulse trip.

“Tell me what it takes,” he said.

You shook your head.

“I’ll give you a room beside mine. Every book I own. Every island you want to see. Jewels, dresses, gold, quiet, noise, whatever keeps you smiling.” He leaned in, close enough that his mouth almost touched yours again. “Tell me what you want, and it’s yours.”

“That’s not why I’m saying no.”

“I know.”

His voice dropped.

“That’s why I’m asking again.”

Your chest rose hard against his.

“I need to go back to my crew.”

Shanks went still.

“You need to?”

“Yes.”

He looked at you for a long time.

Then he stepped back.

You reached for your cup but Shanks caught it first.

“I think you’ve had enough.”

You almost laughed.

It came out uneven. “Now you’re worried about that?”

His eyes stayed on yours.

“I’m worried about a lot of things when it comes to you.”

The words sounded sweet.

You knew better.

You took one step back. Then another.

He let you.

You turned toward the fires, forcing yourself to walk instead of run. Your lips still felt warm.

You were almost close enough to hear Usopp’s voice clearly when Shanks spoke behind you.

“Sweetheart.”

You stopped before you could stop yourself.

Slowly, you looked back.

He stood in the dark with your abandoned cup still in his hand.

For a moment, he looked like the man Luffy adored.

Then he glanced past you toward the fires, and all warmth left his eyes.

“Stay close to Luffy,” he said. “He’s the only reason I’m asking nicely.”

You did not move.

Shanks smiled again.

It did not reach his eyes.

“Good night.”

The Red Force left at dawn.

The Straw Hats stood near the shore, waving and shouting. Luffy was at the front, grinning so hard it looked like it hurt.

You told yourself not to look for him. You looked anyway.

His gaze found you immediately. For one long second, he only watched you.

Then he smiled.

A friendly smile.

The kind everyone else could see.

Beside him, Beckman leaned against the rail, cigarette between his fingers, eyes narrowed toward the shore.

The ship began to pull away.

The distance widened.

Only then did Shanks look from you to Beckman.

His voice was casual when he spoke. Almost bored.

“I want her on the Red Force.”

Beckman exhaled smoke.

He did not ask who.

Shanks was still watching you.

You stood on the shore beside your captain, the wind lifting your hair, the book you had forgotten to return held tight against your chest.

Shanks’s mouth curved.

“Make it happen,” he said.

Beckman flicked ash into the sea.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I figured.”

The Red Force sailed into the morning light.

And Shanks did not look away until you were gone from sight.

you stood behind the glass, dressed in an oversized blue jersey that had his team's name and acted as a dress. you were wearing black tights underneath it, knee high leather boots rising up your legs that formed vile thoughts in his head. you were watching with excitement and hearts in your eyes. hands clapping as your friend whispered something in your ear. you weren't paying attention though, eyes locked on the man that skated his way off the ice and toward you.

fucking toji fushiguro.

satoru had been friends with him in high school but they grew apart when toji joined a frat in university. he was too busy with hockey to fuck around and the friendship slowly fizzled out before he graduated ahead of his class. then a year later toji graduated and got drafted onto the same team as satoru. the friendship was never what it was before, the men only seeing each other as teammates and nothing more.

satoru had never thought of himself as a jealous person. from elementary to college he had always been considered a "popular" guy, able to get any girl he wanted without putting in much effort and most men wanted to be him.

even now. he was a goddamn superstar, stupid fucking rich and living out his childhood dreams. he wanted for nothing except for the one thing he couldn't have: you.

it was a brutal reminder that you were someone else's when fushiguro picked you up and spun you around, lips locked against yours. the number 12 plastered in a big white font on the back of your jersey. toji's number.

satoru was annoyed but eventually found the strength to tear his eyes away from you, stomach twisted in knots at the fact that you weren't wearing his number. he allowed a smile to stretch across his face as his team huddled around him, his ego reminding him that he was satoru fucking gojo.

even though his heart screamed at him that it didn't matter if he couldn't have you.

later that night he was five shots deep in some shitty liquor, pretending to enjoy himself at some equally shitty party that was meant to celebrate the team qualifying for the playoffs.

he had a beautiful woman sitting next to him, her leg thrown over his lap as she kissed on his neck and whispered vulgar things in his ear, breath reeking of alcohol and mint gum. she had no shame that a few of his teammates sat at the same booth, deep in conversation about the days game and some other bullshit he didn't care about.

he was too busy trying to the hide the glare that was forming on his face, because sitting right across from him was you.. and toji. and you had the nerve to be dressed like that, tempting his restraint. questioning his morals.

toji's arm was thrown around your shoulder, your body slightly turned toward him. it gave satoru the perfect view of the dip in your waist as he tossed back his sixth shot, the bodysuit you wore doing nothing to hide the hips he often dreamed of digging his hands into.

what the fuck was his problem? he had a girl practically eating his face right now and all he could do was eye you like some virgin loser.

he moved to take another shot when you laughed at something toji said. your nose crinkled as you tried to control your laughter, hair falling into your face as you titled your head down. finding some joke toji said funnier than it probably was. his heart thumped loudly at the sound, the music bumping in the club drowning out over the noise of blood rushing in his ears.

he was convinced you were an angel and it only confused him even more that you were with someone like toji. sure, he's only known you for the five months you'd been dating his teammate and not on a personal level but he knew his former friend since they were teens and he had always been a jerk that toyed with girls like it was his favorite pastime.

not that he hadn't had his fair share of one night stands, but he wouldn't do that to you. never you.

what could you possibly find so interesting about him that you hardly looked at satoru when in the same vicinity as him? it frustrated him to no end. he knew that he could treat you better than toji could if only you would acknowledge him.

"want to get out of here?" the woman whispered in his ear. he didn't even remember her name and it annoyed him that it wasn't you asking him that question.

satoru checked himself when he found his hand moving to push her off of him. it wasn't her fault that she wasn't you, and he was in need of releasing some tension. especially when you showed up dressed like the goddess of seduction herself, making his dick rock hard and throbbing with lust the moment he laid eyes on you.

he was pathetic, really. you were toji's girlfriend.

he waited a few more minutes to see if you would look at him just once tonight. even a small glance would satisfy satoru at this point, but you didn't. you talked to everyone but him, flashing those glossy eyes at toji like he painted the fucking sky.

only when he stood, girl latched tight to his arm as if she were afraid he'd slip away, did you finally look at him. satoru almost dropped to his knees right there, head at your feet while he offered the world to you. thankfully his dignity was still intact and he didn't make a fool of himself, or his date that was begging to be fucked.

"hey! i didn't get the chance to tell you earlier but you did great out there today." you smiled at him, completely oblivious to the way your innocent words tugged at his heart.

satoru let his smirk cover up how fucking whipped you had him. how ready he was to say fuck it and pull you into his arms right in front of toji, daring his teammate to do something about it.

"yeah? 'preciate it beautiful." and the way your eyes widened at the pet name he decided at this very moment he would call you from now on, had him biting back a chuckle. you were so fucking cute, teasing him with your mere presence like he didn't know how to bite back.

clearly the name was far less amusing to toji, who shot him a glare and not so subtly pulled you closer to him. satoru fought the urge to roll his eyes, though he was satisfied he got under his skin. it filled his big head with the idea that toji's insecurity meant you would possibly give him a chance.

why else would the dark haired meathead act like satoru threatened his relationship with a nickname as simple as beautiful?

"fuck off, gojo." toji huffed, face scrunched in annoyance while satoru was cool as a cucumber, smirk widening as placed his hands in his pockets. he was beyond amused at toji's frazzled state. what an insecure dud.

"what? can't recognize a beautiful woman when i see one?" he continued with his taunting, his plan officially set in motion. satoru would just have to woo you until you realized toji was a brain-dead loser and he was much better for you.

didn't you know how good you two would look together? how good he could be to you?

"eat a dick, dude."

satoru only laughed and shot you a wink, savoring the way your eyes widened even further before he turned and pulled the woman out of the club.

while he was balls deep in his date that night, pounding his irritation away, he thought of you. how much tighter you likely were. how you were probably a huge freak underneath that shy act you put on in public. and when he finally pulled out, ripping the condom off his swollen cock as he stroked his load onto the stomach below him, he imagined he was still buried deep inside you. condom nonexistent as he filled you to the brim with his hot cum.

ㅤ

you were exhausted after your night out with toji, celebrating his teams recent big win until three in the morning. a choice you immediately regretted as you woke up in the same outfit you wore last night, one you had hoped would get your boyfriend's attention.

you made sure not to drink that night, desperately needing to get laid and not wanting toji to turn you away because you were too drunk. he had been stressed lately, with it being the middle of hockey season and all, and he hadn't fucked you in some weeks now. so to say you were disappointed when he only kissed you and wished you good luck on your finals tomorrow, would be severely understating it.

part of you wondered if he was seeing someone else. you'd only been dating five months now, so when he started dodging every hint you threw his way that you were in need of physical affection, red flags started flying.

you could understand and appreciate how busy he was. you were on your last year of law school, studying for the bar exam and getting ready for an internship at one of the most powerful firms in the country. you were busy yourself but you still found time for him, even if it would screw you over in the end.

you really shouldn't have gone out with toji last night, but he had begged and pleaded with you until you had no choice but to say yes so he could stop whimpering like a dog. you threw on your sexiest outfit, doused yourself in his favorite perfume and wore your new victoria's secret lingerie.

he had eyed you like you were candy, giving you a sloppy kiss and a smack on the ass before walking you to his car. you had been even more hopeful when toji became oddly possessive after gojo called you beautiful. the comment had left you flustered, cheeks burning from the sudden attention that you didn't know how to respond to.

gojo had stared at you like you were the only woman in the room and it had you dumbstruck. toji had never looked at you that intensely and it left you feeling shy and exposed. so when he finally pulled you closer, it gave you the false idea that your outfit would be ripped off you the second he took you back to his place.

only toji hadn't done either of those things. he had dropped you back at your apartment, kissed you goodnight after a silent car ride and pulled off before you could even close the door.

now you lay in bed still horny, head pounding from a lack of sleep and if the clock on your nightstand was correct, an hour away from one of the most important exams of your life. you sighed, pulling your phone off the charger as you checked your messages.

shoko (8:30am): hey babes, you up? wanna grab coffee before our exams?

shoko (8:50am): hellooo?

shoko (9:00am): boo, you whore. i just seen a pap picture of you with toji last night so you're either out cold rn after a long night of fucking or you're still getting your back blown out. 🤣

shoko (9:05am): i gtg, professor won't let me retake if i miss this test. love you, don't make choices i wouldn't!

dad (9:06am): hi honey. how's law school treating you? call your old man when you get the chance.

instagram 99+ new notifications

you wondered what shoko would think if you told her you did in fact not get your back blown out. instead you went to bed alone, doubting your relationship more than you already did. that the satoru gojo showed more interest in you than your own boyfriend did.

your stomach still tickled at the way he called you beautiful. such a simple name that left you feeling like a cat in heat. not that you'd ever admit that to anyone outside of yourself.

you were still unsure of how to feel about his nickname. on one hand you were in a relationship with his teammate and shouldn't entertain comments from other men. on the other, the crush you had on the hockey superstar still lingered somewhere deep in you.

when you first started dating your boyfriend, it had been with the intention of getting a little closer to the man with sharp blue eyes and white hair, that had been at the center of your dreams every fucking night. toji was hot but he wasn't really your type, so you were surprised when you found yourself actually falling for him two months into the relationship.

you met him at some party shoko dragged you to back in september, right before hockey season started. you hadn't really been checking for him, searching the room for gojo but he hadn't been there. so you cracked and gave him a chance after he kept "accidentally" bumping into you.

he made you feel like you were the hottest girl in the room that night, his hand on your lower back all night, whispering the crudest of comments in your ear until he took you back to his condo and fucked you into the mattress.

you hadn't been expecting him to ask you for your number before he dropped you back home, assuming this was a one night stand and nothing more. you weren't stupid. you knew the reputation most athletes had, especially toji fushiguro. but he clearly had an interest in you as he started texting you almost daily for hookups until two weeks later when he finally asked you to be his girlfriend right before his first game of the season.

now here you were, feeling more neglected than ever and you'd only been dating the man five months. this is why you'd been single for more than four years before meeting toji. men were complicated and more often than not, a waste of time. in the end it would always be you and your rose toy.

you opened up instagram next, scrolling through your friends stories before you stopped on gojo's which had a green circle around his icon. close friends? you quickly went to your notifications tab, hands shaking as your heart thumped. thumped. thumped! eyes bulging when you saw:

satorugojo followed you back (3 hrs ago). plus some of his 3.5 million followers that had followed you in response.

oh! you swallowed hard, clicking on his story and seeing he posted a picture of himself at the gym. athletic shorts riding low on his hips. grey boxers showing. white happy trail peeking from his black shirt that rose as he lifted one arm, showing off his ridiculous muscles. blue airpod max's snug on his head of wild white hair.

no days off 💪🏻 he captioned it. posted at 6:30am.

out of pure instinct you went to screenshot it before stopping yourself. this is your boyfriends teammate, what the fuck were you doing? you weren't some weird fan anymore, you were toji's girlfriend. snap out of it!

you forced yourself to close the app, texted your father that you would call him after your exam and quickly stripped and hopped in the shower. you spent twenty minutes reciting your mental notes on criminal law, civil law, etc.. you really shouldnt have went out last night.

after brushing your teeth and fixing your hair, you were out the door and thanking god that you lived close to campus or else you would have missed your exam. all because you were drooling over the fact that another man followed you on social media. get real!

you were grateful that shoko had been waiting for you the moment you stepped out of that too stuffy lecture room three hours later. the exam itself went fine. though you'd occasionally hear gojo's voice calling you beautiful, you had locked in and been the first one finished.

you were beyond drained and immediately dropped your head on her shoulder, mumbling about how you couldn't wait to graduate and you were never going to a party again. and something about fuck men.

"uh huh, it must suck getting fucked all night and almost missing your exams. poor (name)." she jokingly patted your back until you lifted your head to glare at her.

"i would find that funny if i'd actually gotten any."

"again?!"

twenty minutes later you sat in front of your best friend at a local cafe, wearing your heart on your sleeve as you ranted to her about your relationship issues.

"i just don't understand him, sho. i go out of my way to dress how i know he likes, wear perfumes that he says are his favorite and all i get is a smack on the ass. almost like i'm his dog begging for praise and he's patting my head and calling me a good girl."

shoko was empathic but had a look that said she didn't really know what to say. it was usually her in your position, while you never really had the patience for a relationship. it was the occasional one night stand for you, preferring to fixate on fictional men who would never disappoint you as real men often did.

toji was the perfect example of that. he'd been so hot and cold lately. kissing you at his games and acting like a loving boyfriend, to barely acknowledging you and leaving you aching for more.

"fuck one of his teammates."

you choked on your latte, looking around to make sure no one heard what she said as you attempted to regain your composure. when you finally calmed down enough you shot her a scowl, embarrassed at your little episode that had a few people staring like you'd pissed in their coffee.

"what? honestly i don't know why you went for him when suguru geto was right there but i'll try not to judge you too much." she had a shit eating grin on her face which only made you want to sink into the ground even more.

you had no plans to cheat on toji when you didn't even have proof that he was doing the same to you. but your mind still drifted to gojo. if you were going to sleep with any of them, it would be him for sure. or maybe you'd switch teams and go for that hot soccer player ryomen sukuna. but you weren't a cheater so you didn't allow that thought to simmer in your head.

though you were curious as to why he followed you, especially after he'd called you beautiful last night. why were you still stuck on that anyway? it was just a name he probably called twenty different women as everyone knew satoru gojo was a major flirt. but it was the first time he called you that.

"enough about me." you attempted to regain some control over the conversation. "how'd your exam go? you're almost done with med school! are you gonna stay in the city?"

"don't know." she shrugged, taking a sip of her tea. "thinking of working in a high school. if not, maybe moving a few cities over. enjoy some new scenery y'know?"

of course you did. you sometimes found yourself dreaming of starting somewhere fresh that wasn't your hometown but something had always kept you tethered here. maybe it was your irrational fear of change, or the stability you had here. family, friends, career. there hadn't really been a reason for you to leave.

just then your phone buzzed.

toji 💘: think you could stop by the rink? finishing up practice in 30 and wanted to see your pretty face.

✮

"why are you just standing there? move your feet!" satoru yelled at his team, tired from the early start to his day when he'd only gotten about four hours of actual rest. he wasn't usually this cranky, typically cracking jokes with the boys or giving them words of encouragement but he was still on edge from the fact that you'd actually spoken to him last night.

satoru didn't know what it was about you that left him so dizzy with obsession, when he'd never acted this way over a woman before. he had girlfriends sure, some he cared about but never anything too serious or long-term, preferring to focus on his future in the leagues and not wanting anything to distract him from that.

until you walked in the room. you'd been there to watch toji practice, dressed in low rise jeans that showed off your waist jewelry and straps to your pink lingerie. a matching long sleeve crop top and cardigan to protect your arms from the chill of the facility.

he thought he might propose to you right then and there. call it love at first sight. you were insanely hot and walked with a confidence that made every man and woman stop and stare at you. even coach stole a glance when he thought no one was looking.

he was hooked from that day forward. never missing a day of practice just in case you might show up, even if it bothered him that you were there to see toji and not him. he looked forward to seeing what outfit you'd wear or how you'd style your hair. he even noticed little things, like if you were in a good mood you'd be straight faced but if you were annoyed, you'd have a forced smile on your lips to keep up appearances.

on those days he wanted to yell at toji for not keeping you happy enough, though he knew that was unfair. plus you weren't his to worry about, even if he desperately wanted you to be. but for now he would settle for breathing the same air as you if that was all he could get.

"who the fuck are you talking to huh?! i dare you to say that shit again!" a yell broke through his thoughts. when he looked to the ice, toji was pushing suguru back with a mean shove. almost knocking satoru's friend on his ass and making him drop his stick.

"what, you gonna hit me fushiguro? i'm not one of the newbies, you don't scare me." suguru was calm as ever, amusement dancing in his eyes as he straightened himself. satoru was tempted to stand back and watch, getting some kind of sick enjoyment out of watching whatever suguru said make toji turn red with anger.

"actually, I think the next time i say it out loud it'll be to your pretty little girlfriend. oh there she is! what do you think fushiguro? she might want to know-" before suguru could finish, toji landed a punch right to the man's nose that sent him flying to the ground.

"are you two idiots done?" satoru yelled onto the rink, standing where coach usually does as he was filling in for him today. "fushiguro, you're out for the day. go home and blow off some steam. don't come back tomorrow if you still feel you need to attack your own teammate."

toji wasn't hearing it as he skated aggressively off the rink until he was behind the board and glaring at satoru as his cheeks flared red. "fuck you, you're not coach."

satoru lifted a brow, fighting the urge to give the man the same treatment he just gave suguru. "nah, but i am your captain and i said to fucking go home. or does the c on my jersey mean nothing anymore?"

if it were possible, you'd be able to see the steam shooting from toji's ears as he thought about what to say next before huffing and moving to sit on the bench, taking his skates off and pushing past satoru, storming to the locker room. satoru wondered what suguru had said to make the man so upset, watching as the doors that led to the backrooms closed behind him with a loud bang!

he didn't have much time to ponder on it before he noticed you standing at the entrance door, eyes wide as you watched the commotion. he wondered how much you saw, but really he was concerned with how much time he'd have to talk to you before toji came back and dragged you away.

he hadn't expected to see you again so soon but the surprise was more than welcomed.

he watched, eyes cloudy with desire as you walked further into the facility. hands holding a takeout bag, face set in confusion as you looked around, unsure of what to do after walking in on your boyfriend behaving like a psychopath.

satoru would never embarrass you like that.

when your eyes met his he raised his hand to wave you over, fighting back a smile as he watched you ponder over if it was a good idea or not after you'd just watched your boyfriend curse him out.

he finally felt like he could breathe again when you started walking toward him, dressed in a grey sweatsuit, faux fur jacket and a fitted cap. you were stunning and satoru almost choked on the drool that was forming at the sight of you.

when he turned to make sure geto was alright, he saw the man was already back up and finishing his drills with the others. satoru made a mental note to ask him what his mess with fushiguro had been about and why he mentioned you. for now, you would have his undivided attention.

"hi beautiful." his voice was raspy from yelling at the team for the past two hours, but he was satisfied to see the unintended effect it had on you. the slight widening of your eyes, pretty lips covered in gloss parting in surprise, the way you tightened your grip on the takeout bag.

"oh, i-" you bite your lip before relaxing your shoulders, releasing a breath and giving him a small smile that he knew he would be thinking about for the rest of the day. "hi."

satoru tried his best not to grin but you made it so hard. look at how cute you were, stuttering over being called beautiful when you were so much more than that. he would make sure he reminded of you that everyday when you were his, since toji was a clearly failing as a boyfriend.

"brought me lunch? how sweet. you didn't have to do that, princess."

princess? satoru had no idea where that one came from, he'd never called a woman that before but he could tell you liked it by the way your smile widened and your eyes softened. he would stick with that one then.

he felt like he was gonna melt with the way you had his body burning with a deep, scorching need that pulled in his stomach. a need that had him wondering how soft your lips were, what the gloss you wore tasted like, and what your skin felt like under his hands.

"i actually.. uhm- it's for toji. what happened with him and geto?"

satoru's mouth soured at the sound of his name taking up room in your conversation. he wanted to learn a little more about you before the beast came back and whisked you away.

but this was a good opportunity for him to get your number. yeah, he could work with this.

"not sure yet, princess. but if you want i can text ya after i talk with suguru, that way you get both sides of the story and not just whatever fushiguro tells you."

he watched as you swallowed, eyes tracing the movement of your lips and letting them fall to your exposed neck and the way your gold jewelry sat so perfectly across your skin. the captain of the number one hockey team in the world right now, was totally checking out his teammate's girlfriend and felt not even an ounce of shame about it.

embarrassment was never really satoru gojo's style. if he was one thing, it was confident. plus what was wrong with him letting you know he found you attractive? if your relationship with fuhsiguro was strong, then the man had nothing to worry about.

"you want my number? i don't know.. wouldn't that be inappropriate since-" you stop and lick your lips and satoru thinks he died and came back to life. "i'm dating your friend?"

mood fucking ruined.

"fushiguro isn't my friend. strictly teammates." the words came out harsher than he meant it and his heart sank at the way you shrunk back, the tension from earlier returning.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean-"

"(name), what the fuck are you doing? we're leaving now!" toji's voice interrupted as soon as satoru reached out to touch your arm and you were gone in blink, spitting out a "s-sorry, sorry!" while chasing after your boyfriend who lacked the decency to even wait for you.

rage boiled inside of satoru, his fists clenched at his side, watching as you stopped the door front hitting you before disappearing behind it. toji was a fucking monster and you deserved better than him.

he had a new goal now. he would get you away from his teammate and then he would make you his. that started with finding out what suguru had against fushiguro that set him off and-

fuck! he didn't get your number.

✮

the car ride was awkward as fuck to say the least. toji was beyond pissed, one hand gripping the steering wheel hard enough that his knuckles turned white, the other placed on your thigh squeezing considerably softer, grip still possessive as he swerved through traffic.

you wanted to ask him what was wrong, but he had ignored you when you asked the first time, as you followed him out of the training facility. you took that as a sign that he didn't want to talk about it and stayed quiet. opting to scroll through your phone instead, not a clue in the world where he was taking you.

dad (1:03pm): how did the exam go? i just talked to nishimura and he says you're all good to start your internship after your grades are released. don't forget to call! love you honey.

you (1:30pm): it went great! thanks for getting me the internship dad, I really appreciate it. can I call in 20?

dad (1:30pm): 👍

just as you were going to put your phone away, an instagram notification came through that had your cheeks heating instantly.

satorugojo (just now): number, princess? forgot to get it before the big bad wolf stole you away.

oh my god! you had no idea what he was doing or why he was suddenly so interested in you but it put you on guard. the crush you harbored still lingering somewhere inside you. locked away out of respect for toji. and it would stay there. you had no plans to disrespect your relationship unless toji did first.

so you ignored the message and locked your phone with painstaking difficulty, giving the man next to you your attention. face still heated from gojo's message. the fangirl in you screaming at the fact that li ole' you managed to get the satoru gojo's attention.

"where are we going?" you asked your boyfriend, hoping he didn't notice your reaction to gojo's dm. you needed to get real. he was probably giving ten other women the same attention that he gave you. he was satoru gojo after all. number one hockey player on the rink, world's biggest flirt off the rink.

"taking ya home. i have some business i need to take care of." he kept his eyes on the road, jaw still tight with annoyance from his earlier interaction with geto and gojo.

you frowned, fingers tightening around the lunch you'd bought for toji. if you weren't annoyed before, you definitely were now. he's the one that asked to see you and now he was ditching you. again.

"what business?" your voice was low as you attempted to stop yourself from cursing him out. you didn't do relationships often but when you gave a man the time of the day, you never allowed them to treat you like this. toji fushiguro wasn't the exception.

his grip tightened around the steering wheel and you thought he might rip it off with the way the skin under his fingernails turned red.

"nothing you need to know." he removed his hand from your thigh, moving it to hold onto the gearshift.

how fucking dare he? "hey asshole, you asked to see me! i deserve to know why you're wasting my time and ditching me without even properly saying hello."

"are you deaf, woman? i just told you to drop it!" woman? you were seeing red.

"fine! maybe i'll ask geto what had you angry enough to punch him, since we're keeping secrets now."

toji slammed on the breaks at a red light, sending your body forward before your back hit the seat again. you dropped the food on the floor, whipping your head to stare at the man beside you who had clearly lost his mind.

"are you crazy?!"

toji was already staring at you, a death glare painting his face, veins protruding in his forehead, his hair half covering his eyes. he looked murderous but you weren't going to back down.

"i'll only tell you this once: stay the fuck away from him and gojo, (name). ya hear me?"

you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms as toji turned and started driving again, flipping off the person that honked for him to go. you didn't take your attention from him though.

"or what? i wouldn't have to go to other men to find out what's going on with my own boyfriend if you'd actually talk to me! for crying out loud, you punched your teammate then act like i'm in the wrong for wanting to know why."

you couldn't believe this is what your first argument with toji was about. not him neglecting your needs five months into your relationship, but him hitting someone and refusing to talk to you about it. it was pathetic really. even more so that you kept giving him the time of the day. his behavior was off and did nothing to help the growing suspicion that he was cheating on you or hiding something worse.

toji ran his free hand down his face but stayed silent, keeping his eyes locked on the road as if he suddenly cared about driving safe when he just slammed on the breaks, nearly giving you whiplash.

"let me out." you sighed. he was close enough to your apartment anyways and you'd rather walk then deal with his bullshit for another minute.

it shouldn't have surprised you when he only mumbled "fine" and pulled into a gas station. speeding off after you slammed the door shut. you were so fucking mad that your brain short circuited and before you could even process what you were doing, you opened instagram and went to the dm you got a few minutes ago, typed in your number and hit the send button.

when you made it back to your place, you sat at the desk in your living room and opened your laptop. that's where you sat for the next four hours, phone turned off, studying for the bar exam. not letting a man distract you from what was actually important.

not until the clock read 5:55pm and you were stretching your sore back as you made your way to the kitchen to get some food, turning your phone on to finally call your dad who answered on the first ring. your face frowned when you were bombarded with notifications but you ignored them for now.

"(name), thank god! are you alright, do you need me to come down there? i'll kill him if he hurt you-" your father rambled, a calm fury lacing his voice that he typically reserved for his opponents in the courtroom.

"i'm fine dad!" you cut him off, anxiety crawling up your spine as you neglected the meal you were going to make, putting him on speaker as you started going through your missed notifications. "i was only studying, i'm sorry it took me so long to call. what's going on?"

"i got a call from a friend who said he saw you a video of you on tmz arguing with that man i told you was no good for you! he could have hurt you driving like that, and then to leave you at a gas station in the middle of winter? i-"

you zoned out as you read all the notifications you missed, clicking on the first one from apple news titled " trouble in paradise already? hockey player toji fushiguro caught in a screaming match with girlfriend (full name)."

you felt like throwing up as you read the article, clicking on the video that was attached and credited to tmz. someone had captured almost the entire thing. from the moment toji stormed from the facility, you chasing shyly behind him, to him speeding off and the person in the car following. the video cuts to him recklessly swerving into the gas station, you slamming the door and him zooming off.

you wanted to shrivel up and die out of pure embarrassment. you had been too angry to think about the fact that your boyfriend is in fact, a well known hockey star and would more than likely be followed by paparazzi or fans. this wouldn't be toji's first time dealing with a scandal but you were far from famous and hated drawing negative attention to yourself.

you swiped down when your phone buzzed again with another notification from instagram. you ignored it and went to the nearly one hundred messages you missed.

shoko (4:00pm): ANSWER YOUR PHONE NOW

shoko (4:00pm): TMZ JUST POSTED YOU ARGUING WITH TOJI. CALL ME!!

shoko (4:01pm): OMG (NAME), WHY IS YOUR PHONE OFF. THIS IS SERIOUS

shoko (4:03pm): im coming over after my shift at the hospital! you better open or I'll kick the door down.

unknown number (3:25pm): hey princess.

unknown number (4:10pm): just saw the video. wanna talk about it? sorry your bf's a dick

toji 💘 (4:05pm): answer the phone now. i'm not fucking around.

toji 💘 (4:07pm): you're a fucking brat, feel better now that you embarrassed us?

and only one missed call from him out of the near one hundred you had gotten from your family and friends.

"i'll call you back dad, i have to go." you hung up before he could respond, saved the new number under "satoru 🏒" and called shoko.

✮

two weeks ago

satoru hadn't spoke to nor seen you since the video of fushiguro leaving you at a gas station was posted. you had missed the game today and satoru held a deep resentment toward his teammate for that. he wanted to see you before the next game tomorrow, which would be taking place in a different city. as would the next seven after that.

you never responded to his text which usually wouldn't bother satoru if it had been literally anyone else. he hadn't stopped thinking about what suguru told him two days ago, the secrets fushiguro was hiding from not just you but the public as well. he knew it wasn't his business.

he reminded himself again that you weren't his girlfriend but he still felt an odd sense of responsibility toward you. an urge to protect your heart from his teammate's bullshit. even if he didn't get you in the end, you didn't deserve what toji was doing behind your back.

that's what led to him grilling the man in the locker room after everyone else had left. he held him back under the guise that he needed to talk to him about his performance at the game today when that couldn't be further from the truth.

"make it quick cap. got some things i need to get done before we fly out." toji glared at him with his arms crossed.

satoru took his time removing his helmet, ruffing up his hair before setting it in his locker. his pads were next, followed by his shinguards and gloves. toji was clearly annoyed, sighing impatiently which only made satoru smirk and shoot him a wink.

"how's (name) holding up?"

toji was immediately defensive, standing straight and moving closer to intimidate satoru, though the captain was still slightly taller than him. "fuck do you care for, gojo? you fuckin her or something?"

"not yet." satoru could lie and say he didn't mean to say it, but where was the fun in that? he loved to see toji riled up and was dying for a reason to lay him out after how he publicly humiliated you.

"don't fuck with me. couldn't give a fuck if you're captain or not, don't disrespect my girl." toji all but hisses.

satoru let his laughter fill the room. loud and obnoxious, stomach squeezing as if what toji said was the funniest thing he'd heard all week. "no, that's just reserved for you right? i knew you were still the same scumbag from college but, a baby? that's a new low, even for you."

toji froze, his eyes doubling in size as all the color drained from his face. his mouth dropped open but he didn't say anything before slamming it shut again. satoru couldn't help but think how weak he looks right now. he hadn’t even mentioned the rumors of his gambling, the pregnancy accusation had been more than enough to leave the man stunned. 

“what is she now? four months? and you’ve been dating (name) for five, which means you’re not only going to be a father but you’re a fucking cheater too.”

having had enough of being scolded like a child, toji locked eyes with his old friend, wondering where they went wrong. years ago he would do anything for him but right now, he never hated anyone more than satoru gojo and he could tell the captain fucking knew it by the way he smirked.

"so what? you gonna run and tell her, act like some kind of prince charming and fuck her while her walls are down. that your goal gojo? you might be as shitty as me."

"oh I'm not gonna say a word to her. you are."

it was toji's turn to laugh, equally as obnoxious. "like fuck i will."

satoru was past finding this entertaining, his face switching into a threatening look as the act dropped, his voice low and threatening as he leaned closer until he was next to toji's ear. "you'll do it, or else i'll be forced to report your illegal gambling to the higher ups. what was the punishment for betting on your own team again? that's it, you'd be kicked out of the league."

✮

present (early march)

you hadn't seen or heard from toji since he left the city two weeks ago, traveling for some games away from home and you were surprisingly calm about it. you'd been knee deep in your studies for the bar exam coming up in july, and didn't have room on your schedule for relationship drama. you were pretty sure you were going to end things anyways but wanted to do it in person.

it turns out that dating famous people wasn't for you. you preferred a lowkey life, one that didn't include getting harassed by your boyfriends fans because: how dare you slam the door of toji fushiguro's car! you ended up making your account private and deleting comments until the hype died down and people moved onto the next big story.

it only took a week of nonstop harrassment, no big deal! then, after you posted a selfie with your account public again, the "she's such a diva!" "the (name) hate was so forced now y'all love her 😂" "that's a baddie right there 💅" comments started pouring in. though you could also thank gojo for that.

he reposted the picture on his story (which you liked) and only captioned it: 🤍

then he commented:

satorugojo: pretty girl (15,340 likes)

you didn't like it, not wanting to stir up any rumors more than he probably already did but it didn't bother you either. your actual reaction was to bite your lip, grinning like a teenage girl with a crush and pull out your rose toy. imagining a certain white haired, blue-eyed hockey player to help push you over the edge. it technically wasn't cheating, especially if your boyfriend ghosted you and you had plans to break up with him anyways.

you were just a girl.

a week after that, the boys were returning from their out of state games and shoko invited you to a party being thrown to celebrate them winning every game (eight in total!). it was a team effort of course, but you knew the real star was gojo. he was a beast on the ice, often being called the king of the rink by sports channels.

you watched a few games on tv, noticing how his teammates passed him the puck and he'd immediately shoot without thinking twice. he never froze, always confident in his ability to carry his team to a win. he was the sniper and captain for a reason, having insanely accurate aim and scoring from angles that seemed near impossible.

his post-game interview only proved how cocky he was.

interviewer: you made that look easy. what happened from your perspective?

gojo: their goalie gave me too much room. that’s on him.

and it was the hottest thing ever. his confidence, the way his white hair stuck to the sweat on his forehead, his dimple flashing whenever he smiled. it's what made you finally decide to text him. it was simple, just a quick "watched the game last night, you killed it! 🐐🏒"

to which he responded: "scored just for you, princess." and you didn't respond but hearted the message then screamed into your pillow.

now you were squeezing into a black dress that hugged your figure nicely and matching tights after telling yourself you were done with the public scene. unfortunately shoko was your best friend and you always had trouble telling her no.

you let your hair down tonight, spraying on your favorite japanese cherry blossom perfume as she walked into your bathroom.

she wore a dress similar to yours, only hers was purple and she slung a leather jack over her shoulders that had the teams logo and colors. the upper right patch sporting the number "2", which was geto's number. you didn't mention it but smirked to yourself.

"you look hot as fuck. think toji's gonna be jealous when his own team is drooling over you?"

you groaned as you applied your clear lip gloss, not wanting to hear his name. you still had to break up with him and weren't looking forward to it. you planned to pull him aside at the party where there would be plenty of people to thwart the explosive reaction you knew you would get in private.

"he should be." was all you said before she was pulling you out the door and into an uber. the party was more private and at geto's house, so you were glad there wouldn't be as much paparazzi as a nightclub might have.

you found yourself playing with your thumbs the entire twenty minute drive there, watching as the city lights faded into trees as you made your way into the hills. buildings turning into mansions, the stars in the sky becoming more visible with less light pollution.

you were nervous about breaking up with toji but more anxious about seeing gojo. especially after he reposted you on his story and called you pretty girl in your very much public comment section. his publicist probably scolded him for that one. as far as the public knew, you were still with toji.

"ready?" shoko grabbed onto you, stopping your fidgeting hands as the car slowed down in front of a surprisingly modest sized home, compared to the other ones in the neighborhood. your stomach twisted at the sound of loud music and at least fifty cars parked in the street and in front of geto's three garages.

you thanked the driver before stepping out of the car, heels clicking against the pavement as your friend pulled you toward the gates. there was one man waiting with a camera strapped across his neck, though he quickly lifted it when he spotted you.

multiple flashes started going off and you had to block your eyes as he started yelling. "(name)! you here to see toji or gojo?" "(name), what happened that day at the gas station? seemed heated!" you ignored every question while shoko told him to fuck off and pulled you through the gates after confirming her invitation with security.

you tried to blink the light spots away and not allow that creep to ruin your night. you didn't understand how stalking people just to get their photo wasn't illegal but that was a problem for another day because you were at the front door that had been left wide open. the bass from the song playing giving you a boost of confidence as you slid your jacket off and threw it on one of the racks at the front door.

you didn't know what to do with yourself so you let shoko pull you along, "geto said they'd be out back by the pool!"

oh. it was that kind of party. it's not that you didn't know how to swim, just that you needed a very good reason to do so plus it was cold as fuck. you weren't a fan. you didn't even think about the fact that shoko had geto's number as she kept dragging you through a sea of bodies.

couples were basically fucking as they danced to the music, men and women alike were throwing back shots like no tomorrow, someone was throwing up in the corner. it was only eleven and these kind of events lasted until three of four in the morning. not that you'd be staying any longer than needed to satisfy your friend.

the pool was big with checker style tiles at the bottom and matching black sun chairs on each side of it. most were being occupied by members of the team you recognized, a pretty girl or guy on their lap. some people splashing each other in the pool.

on the lawn kicking a ball back and forth was gojo, suguru and a few other men you'd never seen before. toji was there too, standing with his back against the fence, playful smirk on his face, dressed in a plain black shirt and jeans. you froze when he looked up and made eye contact with you.

"i think i'll wait inside, you go ahead!" you pulled away from your friend before she could stop you and bolted into the house, toji following while yelling your name.

you pretended you didn't hear him as you entered the music bumping house, in search of a drink and an escape. your nerves were getting the best of you. you'd never actually broken up with someone before, opting to just let them ghost you or you ghost them. this was different, toji was obviously not going to let that happen like you hoped he would.

what were you even supposed to say? "hey, I'm really sorry but i'm not feeling the spark between us anymore and I think we should break up. oh by the way, I have a fat crush on your captain." you guess that wasn't really bad as long as you left out the last part.

you beelined toward geto's kitchen, pushing past people and moving around the island to get to the fridge. pulling it open you sighed in relief that there was one last bottle of heineken, grabbing it greedily before cracking it open against the counter. you didn't really drink but knew you would need it in order to survive this conversation that loomed over you like a dark cloud.

your entire body tensed when you heard him enter the room, yelling your name and making you want to die of embarrassment as a few people stared. how did this become your life? this is exactly why you didn't date in the first place!

you took a few sips before setting it on the counter and turning. time to face the music.

he moved toward you with a frown, having the nerve to look confused at the fact that you might not want to talk to him. it was going to be a long night.

"what the fuck? why are you ignoring me?" he grabbed onto your arm but you were quick to snatch it away. scoffing in disgust when he started checking you out. "the fuck are you doing wearing that short ass dress out the house like you're not in a relationship?"

"ha! are we even together still? I haven't heard from you in two weeks dipshit." you put more space between the two of you, pressing your back against the counter as he moved closer. he reeked of alcohol and weed, the white of his eyes turning red, eyelids slightly droopy.

he bit his jaw, taking in a deep breath and looking around before speaking. "i've been focused on the games, y'know that. can we talk in private?"

"absolutely fucking not. whatever you need to say you can say it right here." you hardly had time to process what was happening before he yanked your arm and started pulling you to the front door. you were too stupefied to protest, letting him control your body until you were on the front lawn where only a few security guards were, paparazzi guy gone.

you yanked away from him again, giving him your best death glare as you stopped yourself from smacking his face off.

"speak and make it quick, i don't wanna spend all night arguing." you could tell toji was taken aback by your tone by the way he leaned away from you. you had never talked to him this way, acted so indifferent toward him.

"listen.. first i need you to know that i wasn't ignoring ya on purpose. i knew you were pissed and wanted to give you the space you need to cool off. you think we can actually talk now?"

"i'm still standing here aren't i?" you needed to keep your act up. seeming cold would make it easier to break up with him. he needed to understand that there was no saving this relationship and being sweet wouldn't help that.

"you're a fucking brat." he ran a hand down his face, suddenly interested in your heels. "don't kill me, doll. i need you to understand that i wasn't thinking straight when it happened. everything was moving too fast, i was drunk and didn't wear protection-"

you already knew where this was going, heart about to leap out of your chest as you squinted your eyes at him, humiliation crashing into you like a wave. all this time your suspicion had been valid, the red flags so obvious only a fool would ignore them. and boy were you the fucking fool.

honestly the entire thing was funny. here he was trying to find a way to tell you that he cheated on you, while you were trying to find a way to break up with him. kind of poetic how everything came together in the end.

but no protection? he either was about to tell you he'd gotten another woman pregnant or he contracted something from her.

"fuck are you laughing for? i didn't even finish-"

"oh you definitely did finish. god you're so pathetic. so which is it toji? do you have a baby on the way or do i need to get an std screening?" you had always worn condoms with him but you could never be too sure about anything. your hands started to tremble despite trying to hide it.

"the former." he grumbled. nice.

this was really fucking nice. you hit the goldmine when picking him over gojo huh? you regretted hiding your feelings all this time, forcing yourself to be with someone who wasn't even your type. who was originally only a door to get access to another man.

"wow. i have to hand it to you toji, you really embarrassed me in ways i didn't think possible. well, good luck with that." you moved to push past him, wanting to get back to your beer before you lost your shit. only the man grabbed your arm, holding you still as you tried to wiggle away from him. he wasn't letting up, squeezing hard enough to keep you still.

"that's it, really?" he looked hurt. he looked hurt. oh my god, if you got anymore mad than you already were you'd probably explode. literally.

"aww, was i supposed to cry? because honestly, i’m just embarrassed i stayed this long. you weren't even my first choice, won't be too hard moving on."

you moved to pull away again but toji was furious this time, pulling you back hard enough to make you stumble but he kept you upright, pulling close enough that you had to look up to face him. "the fuck are you talking about?"

his eyes were dark, set in an untamed fury but all you could do was grin. you were starting to get cold and needed this conversation to be over. "don't make me laugh toji. you didn't seriously think i was at that party looking for you? it's a shame gojo wasn't there that night or else i could have avoided wasting my time with this."

“hey you piece of fucking shit! let go of her before i break your wrists."

your heart sped up at the sound of gojo's voice coming from behind toji. you looked past him and there he was, wearing a tight black nike shirt that showed off all his muscles. with grey sweats that hung low on his hips and exposed the top of his boxers, but you were too busy staring at the huge dick print pressing against his pants.

holy shit. you were soaking your panties as another man had you yanked up and looked ready to kill you.

"mind your fucking business gojo." toji hissed but kept his eyes locked on you while you kept your eyes on the man behind him.

gojo looked pissed but winked at you before he started to move, making his way to the front lawn before stopping a few feet away from toji.

"i said let her go before i beat your fucking ass fushiguro."

toji huffed out a laugh, turning to look at his teammate. he wasn't stupid enough to think he could outright beat him in a fight. gojo was more on the lean side but that didn't equal weak, and toji knew that by having his fair share of fights with him when they were younger.

it didn't help that you were looking at the man like you were about to start drooling and clawing at him. he doesn't know why he didn't put it together before. the way your eyes would drift while he kissed you at games, the eagerness to join him at every party they had, the fact that you were following gojo on instagram but not him.

toji had never been checkmated like this and did the first thing that came to his intoxicated mind. he turned so he was facing gojo, moving his hand from your arm to the middle of your back and smirked. the feeling sending chills down your spine, eyes wide at the action.

"you want him so bad? there he is, whore." and he pushed you so hard that you gasped as you tripped and twisted your ankle. but before you could hit the grass, gojo caught you, his arms wrapping around your body and pulling you against him.

"are you fucking insane?! i'm gonna kill you fushiguro!" gojo roared at the man's retreating body moving to the front gates, starting up his motorcycle and speeding away.

gojo made to follow but you tightened your grip on his shirt, biting your lip as you stared at him. head titled back, hair falling from your heated face. "don't leave. it-it hurts to stand."

gojo looked conflicted before looking back at you. a rush of desire flooded you from the intense stare he gave you, fury and worry written across his face, his blue eyes glowing a little brighter under the moonlight. "shit, okay okay, uhm- let me just-"

and the world titled when he bent and picked you up, your arms immediately going to wrap around his neck. holding you bridal style as he walked back into the house and made his way toward the stairs. most people minded their business, though some stared and whispered to each other:

"what's she doing with him?

"isn't that toji's girl?"

"didn't you see the video? i think they broke up."

only shutting up when gojo shot them all a promising glare. you just tucked your head into his neck, inhaling the smell of his cologne, a mixture a vanilla and something spicy. you heart was thumping so hard that you felt it in your throat, the feeling of one of his arms under your legs while the other was dangerously close to your left boob.

you were on fire. body too busy buzzing with excitement to acknowledge the slight sting in your ankle.

he kept a firm grip, holding you close to his chest as he started moving up the stairs. he didn't say anything as he kept walking until he reached the first bedroom.

"get out." he told the couple that sounded like they were in the middle of making out. you didn't know as you kept your head hidden in gojo's neck, only feeling the wind they left behind as they rushed out and slammed the door behind them.

"i'm gonna sit you on the bed alright, princess?" his voice was loud against your ear as you refused to move your head, the vibrations from his throat sending butterflies to your dripping cunt. you could feel your juices coating your inner thighs and you weren't even embarrassed. you were sure gojo heard what you told toji and he was still here with you which meant there was a possibility he wanted you to.

you nuzzled your nose against the side of neck, inhaling deep to savor his smell. had he been drinking? you didn't smell any alcohol and for some reason that turned you on even more.

you heard him take in a sharp breath, his grip on you tightening and a small groan escaping his lips. "that's not fair darling. i gotta take a look at your ankle. can i do that first?"

"y-yes." but you still whined when he gently sat you on the edge of the bed, moving to his knees in front of you to inspect your injury.

you sighed in relief when he slipped your first heel off, his low raspy chuckle making your pussy contract against nothing. "hmm, not this foot then?"

you finally looked at him and your head spun with how hot he looked between your legs, staring up at you with those sharp blue eyes and a grin on his face. looking like he was made to be between your legs.

you wanted so badly to pull his hair and guide his face toward where you actually needed him to take care of you.

✮

satoru gojo realized that he was a very weak man when it came to you. no one had ever had him on his knees as he checked them for injuries, nor had they ever moaned so blatantly at an innocent touch. it made his entire body hum with need.

he fought every urge, every instinct to rip those stupid tights off your body and plunge his face between your legs. he wanted to lick you until you were squirting on his tongue and riding his face, calling out his name and his only. then he'd fuck you in that dress, make you cream all over his dick while he filled you until you begged for him to stop.

but he couldn't, remembering the conversation he had with toji in the locker room.

you were vulnerable right now whether you realized that or not. having a bombshell dropped on you, being manhandled by that ogre and then fucking you would be wrong. and that's how satoru knew he was fucked because had you been anyone else, he'd already be inside of you.

he was careful with your next foot, slowly removing the heel and freezing halfway when you hissed in pain. he was actually going to kill fushiguro, but he needed to take care of you first.

"let me know when to move, princess." and the way your body shivered had him feeling like he was the messiah himself. you nodded your head and bit your lip, never breaking eye contact with him. it made him feel..nervous? his friends would never fucking believe that. probably would tease him endless if they knew how much you had him wrapped around your pretty little finger.

he controlled himself, took your heel off all the way and stood. looking down at you while you were leaned back with your arms behind your body to keep you upright, staring at him like the sun rises and sets on him. satoru had overheard what you said to toji, that you had been looking for him the day you got with him. it made him feel a little less crazy for this obsession he's had with you, knowing you wanted him too.

you wanted him!

"stand for me. wanna make sure it's just hurting and not sprained or broken." satoru was no doctor but he had his fair share of injuries with being a hockey player.

when you stood, that skimpy dress of yours rose just a little and exposed the under curves of your hips before you pulled it down. yeah, you were trying to kill him and he would gladly let you. it was almost sad, honestly. if only satoru were able to easily feel shame.

"what's it feel like?"

"just stings a bit but i can put weight on it."

"good."

then it was silent. painfully so. you were fiddling with your fingers, looking everywhere but at him and he was fighting the urge to pull your body against him. it didn't have to be sexual, he just really wanted to touch you. make you feel special in all the ways toji had never done, to make you forget the hurt he watched you try to hide.

"look, i'm sure you heard what i told-"

"was it true?" and he responded so fast that it made you chuckle and step closer to him. warm cheeks was the closest he'd feel to embarrassment. like i said, the man rarely felt shame.

"yes."

and then he was reaching toward, placing both of his hands against your hips and pulling you tight against him, internally smiling at the way you gasped. he grabbed your chin and lifted your face to his, almost laughing at how blown out your eyes were. his pretty princess. seems he wasn't the only one whipped.

he leaned forward until his lips ghosted over yours. he could feel your breath clashing with his, an magnetic force buzzing between you, two opposites trying to latch together. "now's the time to tell me to stop."

and when you responded: "why would i do that?" he let his lips press against yours. it was slow, not rushed and messy like how he kissed his dates. you deserve more than that. he took his time, committing the way you felt to memory, trying not to cum in his pants.

the air around you both is charged, walls closing in on satoru as he lost himself to you. the floor shifting beneath him, music lowly thumping in the background as he tuned the world out and focused only on you and your very soft lips. then he teased them with his tongue, testing boundaries. so that's what your lipgloss tasted like.

stars burst behind his eyes when you connected your tongue with his. he groaned into your mouth as he deepened the kiss and your hands slowly crept up his chest, manicured nails lightly scratching his muscles.

he knew he should stop things here but his mind was gone and soon enough he was pushing you back to the bed, letting your body fall before he was back on you. he settled between the legs you so willingly spread for him, his throbbing cock pushing against your pussy. his lips locked against yours.

"satoru." you moaned when he started trailing kisses to your neck, hips grinding against his length as you gripped the sheets and the man was actually shaking.

that was the first time he heard you say his first name. most people opted to call him by his surname, which was normal in his culture but to hear the way it fell from your lips.. he thought he might be in love with you.

"fuck princess. you smell so good, got my dick leaking right now. y'know that?" then he was back above you before he got to the point of no return, reminding himself that he said he wouldn't take advantage of you. he typically wasn't a very patient man when it came to taking care of his needs, but for you he would try.

"i can't, i-i'm sorry" and satoru hadn't stuttered since he was child, but this was the man you had reduced him to. he quickly removed himself from you, sitting on the bed next to you as he placed his elbows on his bouncing legs, head in his hands as he attempted to regain some kind of control.

"what? why the fuck not?" you shot up, looking at the man beside you like he had an extra head. hurt in your voice that had him lifting his head to look at you. your eyes were glossy and it nearly broke his composure. his heart sunk at the thought that you might think he didn't want you.

"can't take advantage of you like that-"

"you're not! i want this just as much as you do, why are you doing this?" and if he knew how desperately you'd wanted been wanting him for the past two years, then maybe it would be a different story. but he didn't, so he stood his ground.

literally. he leaped up from the bed, dragging his hand through his hair as he paced the room.

"i won't take advantage of you like that. you just broke up with your boyfriend after finding out he cheated on you and then he-"

"i know what he did." and his heart cracked just a little at the glare you shot at him. he never wanted to be at the center of your ire, even if you looked fucking adorable with your lips set in a pout.

"then you understand why i can't fuck you right now, as much as i want to."

then you were standing and making your way to him, favoring your right leg and satoru started thinking of what weapon he would use to kill toji. he moved to help you, attempting to lead you back to the bed and mumbling about going to get you ice but you stopped him.

"satoru..i appreciate the concern, but i've been wanting this for a very long time."

he couldn't help the shit eating grin that spread across his face. he was still satoru gojo after all and your words did nothing to help his already large ego.

"yeah?" he whispered, running the back of his hand down your cheek, amused at the way you shivered against him. "tell me how long, beautiful. how many times did you touch yourself and imagine it was me instead?"

"two years."

oh.. his eyes darkened and in a flash his mouth was back on yours and your bodies were once again tangled together on the bed. your equally aroused moans filled the room, the party long forgotten as he gripped your hips and ground his aching cock into you. trying not to cum at the way you were squirming beneath him, begging him for more.

new plan: satoru was going to eat your pussy until you screamed his name and burst on his tongue.

✮

you were gone beneath gojo. your pussy was throbbing, head thrown back in pure ecstasy, heart trying to break free of your chest. he hiked your dress up your hips, taking care to caress them before he kissed his way down your body.

he was savoring you, his teeth lightly nipping at your inner things before he sat back on his legs and stared down at you like he were a god and you his worshipper. the room was dark save for the moonlight and it gave his eyes an unnatural glow. his white hair falling to his eyes before he pushed it back.

"lift your hips for me, princess."

your breath caught, face on fire and tingling as you obeyed the man above you. strong hands instantly grip the top of your black tights, slowly pulling them down your body along with your panties. your juices had escaped your underwear and stuck to your thighs and the sight had gojo ripping the tights of you, no longer as patient as he once seemed.

"gonna make you feel so good. make you forget all about that bastard. that okay, love?" the way he was eyeing your bare pussy as he settled his face between your thighs had your nipples hardening, your entire body hypersensitive to the man below you. he noses your thighs, kissing and biting like a man starved.

you couldn't tell if he was joking or not. you were practically a puddle beneath him and he still questioned if you wanted him. "yes! god, yes. please, i need you satoru."

he was immediately on you, licking a long stripe from your hole to your clit before sucking on it hard. you threw your hand back, hands moving to grab his hair as you started riding against his face. the way he ate you like you were his last meal would be the death of you. you couldn't take in full breaths, too busy moaning like a whore and fucking yourself against the man that plagued your thoughts for two fucking years.

"taste as good as you look." he mumbled against your pussy, the heat of his breath making you shake violently. he was quick to add two fingers, pushing them deep while your back arched off the bed.

your moans were pornographic when you looked down at him, his eyes locked solely on yours.

you would feel embarrassed by the sounds you were making so obviously telling him you hadn't been touched in a while, if he didn't look drunk on your pussy. his eyes rolling back as he curled his fingers inside of you and sucked harder. your squishy walls tightening around him.

"satoru! oh my god, ngghhh m'gonna cum- haaah!"

he pumped his fingers faster, his other hand gripping your hip and pulling you flat against his face. the feel of his nose nuzzling against you had you squirting against his mouth, your own dropped open in a silent scream as you tightened your thighs against his head.

he groaned and drunk up everything you gave him. gojo looked feral, like he would die if he missed even a drop. the feeling so intense that you were momentary blinded by the white pulsing pleasure rushing through your body from head to toe.

✮

two days later gojo texted you while you were doing some shopping with shoko. he had been doing that a lot since that night, texting and calling you when he wasn't practicing or doing whatever hockey players did when they weren't on the ice.

satoru 👅 (2:10pm): ever been ice skating?

you (2:10pm): no lol, i'd fall and break my neck 🤦‍♀️ no thank you.

that was how you found yourself standing rock solid in the rink of his practice facility. he assured you no one would be there today and he was careful to sneak you in the back to avoid paparazzi.

you tried to protest, really you did but he was annoyingly determined.

"i don't have skates."

"i'll buy you some"

"what if I fall?"

"i won't let you."

"i've never done this before."

"i'll teach you."

an hour and a half later here you were scowling at the man currently hovering over you, wearing those stupid white skates he got you, trying not to fall on your ass. you dressed yourself in blue jeans, a plain long sleeved white shirt and your faux fur jacket to keep you warm. your hair tied tight behind your head.

he was dressed in black sweatpants, black skates and a #1 blue jersey that he wore over a long sleeve shirt.

"don't look at me like that, princess. makes my dick hard."

he pulls you closer and you slide forward, almost falling because you were clueless as fuck and didn't think to move your legs. he smirked when you fell to his chest, his blue eyes sparkling at you.

he gripped your chin before placing a gentle kiss to your lips and moving to stand beside you. you were swooning, but made sure to hide that from the man who was obviously trying to humiliate you.

"relax your ankles. you look tense as fuck, that's only gonna make this harder."

you shot him a "keep talking, i dare you" look but listened to him anyways. trying your best to relax and remind yourself that satoru was a professional and wouldn't let anything happen to you.

"start by putting one foot in front of the other. we're just gonna glide, nothing crazy."

he waited for you to move first, his patience surprising you. satoru was the complete opposite during his games, a beast on the rink that earned him a spot amongst the greatest at his young age. and here he was, hand reaching to grab yours. letting you to make the first move. it gave you butterflies.

you sucked in a deep breath before grounding yourself. "ok, i'm ready."

satoru placed a kiss to the side of your head before skating in front of you so he could guide you. you had insisted on staying by the board, which you gripped like your life depended on it.

slowly you let your feet move you forward, marching more than actually gliding but you were moving and that was all that mattered. even if the man in front of you was obviously holding back a laugh while you were actively fighting for survival.

"you're doing great, now try to actually slide. you're not in a marching band."

it took you a while but when you started to get the hang of it, you were doing something close enough to skating to satisfy satoru. he praised you the entire time. telling you how hot you looked on his turf, how you were his real life ice princess, how he was going to eat your pussy real good if you stayed upright.

he was driving you up a wall. showing off when you finally found the courage to push off the wall, skating around you and stealing kisses that left you flustered. he started skating backwards effortlessly, arms crossed at his chest as he smiled at you with pride written across his face.

you personally had no idea how he did this for a living. while you were mostly doing ok now, you still struggled to stay up right, arms in front you just in case you fell. he always made it look so easy but you realized just how chaotic this sport could be.

after a little more showing off, he skated behind you with his hands on your hips and his mouth littering your neck with kisses. he squeezed you against him as he shifted weight and dug the blade into the ice, easing you both into a stop.

"you did great babe."

you let your head fall back on his chest, legs tucked between his as you came back down to earth. one of his hands left your hip, while the other rubbed circles against your exposed skin. you didn't even realize he was taking a picture until your phone was blowing up with notifications later that night.

satorugojo tagged you in a photo

satorugojo: future first overall pick

and the comments went crazy.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ‎‎note: i'm thirsting over the jjk men real bad right now and need gojo inside of me RAW! also sorry if anything is inaccurate, i crammed some hockey research in before and while writing this 😅 ps: i'm american so it might be diff in your country! did y'all catch that shatter me reference? 🤭

for years, you’d spent your time doing little things without thinking, the purest intentions nudged forward by the sheer hope that your soulmate wasn’t all bad. gone were the mornings you’d spend stretching, the coloring books you’d purchased to calm him sat untouched on your desk in the study room and you didn’t spend nights hugging yourself to sleep. 

it wasn’t even out of spite, at least not entirely. you simply couldn’t bear the thought of taking care of someone who had looked you in the eye and told you that there was no us. 

after everything you had done for him. 

there is no us. 

his voice echoed while brushing your teeth, while making coffee and when you sat your pharmacology exam. 

there is no us. 

the cruelest part was that your body still betrayed you. 

every friday night, anxiety settled beneath your ribs before sunset. 

every saturday morning, you woke with bruises blooming beneath your skin that didn’t belong to you. 

your soulmate still existed. he still fought and bled and despite everything, some pathetic part of you remained attentive to it, just enough to make sure he was alive. 

you hated yourself for that most of all because hope was a difficult thing to kill, especially after you spent years nurturing that very hope. 

but you could feel the hope within you die slowly, one disappointment at a time. 

“she’s doing it again.” 

you blinked slowly as shoko’s voice drifted into focus from somewhere across your apartment. 

“hmm?” you hummed as you looked up at the girls who were standing before you in your living room, arms crossed. 

“you’ve been staring at nothing for the past ten minutes…” utahime chimed in lowly, “kinda like you have been the last few weeks. ever since that night.”

neither of them asked what happened that night anymore, not because they weren’t curious. after you had remained silent the first ten times they asked, they decided that you would tell them on your own time. 

but they had seen enough. they knew ryomen sukuna was something to you and utahime had very quickly concluded that the underground fighter was your soulmate. 

they found you at home with swollen eyes and mascara halfway down your cheeks and they knew something inside you had gone frighteningly quiet since. 

“i was thinking we’d go shopping today?” shoko questioned, eyes wide and hopeful, a grin stretching her cheeks as she rocked back and forth on her feet. 

you had barely left the apartment as of late and your friends were growing extremely concerned, especially at the lack of shopping bags lining your door, as they did every spring sale. 

you smiled gently, eyes drowned in grief, “maybe another day, m’feeling tired.” 

the girls both shared a look, exchanging glances that spoke volumes, pupils lined with worry and apprehension alike. 

you weren’t tired, you were grieving. 

you weren’t even grieving a relationship or a man, you were grieving every version of your future you’d quietly built over seven years. the one where fate had known what it was doing, the one where your soulmate looked at you the way the men in your favorite romcoms do. 

you had hoped those years of turmoil and sleepless nights meant something, that it would lead to something that would make it all worth it. 

truly, the only thing you could think of to describe what you were going through was bella swan in new moon. that one scene that practically shaped your childhood in which she was grieving edward through the seasons, the depression pulling her deeper with each month that passed.

except, you didn’t have edward cullen who’d devoted himself to bella. 

instead, fate had given you ryomen sukuna. 

a man who had spent years implicitly convincing you he was impossible to love only for you to discover he’d been right. 

∞

ryomen sukuna knew anger better than anyone. 

he knew the way the emotion would sneak up on him, the way it grasped at his lungs until he shook with it and most of all, he knew how to use it. 

that was one of the first things toji ever learned about him. 

when he was sixteen, the anger made him reckless and at twenty-three, that same anger made him dangerous. 

except, toji didn’r recognize this. 

this wasn’t anger, it was something much worse, almost like self-loathing. 

the heavy bag lurched violently beneath another punch, then another and another. over and over again. as if sukuna was aiming to hurt himself.

“sukuna.” 

sukuna ignored the man, his fist colliding with the bag hard enough that something inside his hand shifted unpleasantly. 

it didn't matter, though. nothing did. so he punched it again. 

“you’re gonna break your fuckin’ hand, kid.” 

sukuna stopped then, chest heaving as he catched his breath. sweat trailed down his chest, shimmering against his tattooed skin till it caught on the fabric of his waistband. 

the gym was quiet, not unusual for a tuesday afternoon. most fighters didn’t bother training until evening, leaving only the rhythmic squeak of trainers against worn canvas and the dull thud of sukuna’s fists against the bag echoing through the room. 

usually, sukuna liked the silence but lately, he despised it. 

the silence only made her louder. 

he still felt her, fucking everywhere, every goddamn day. 

except she had changed, fundamentally so. before meeting her, the bond had been easy to ignore, to push aside and dismiss as a hindrance more than anything else. 

his soulmate was merely an idea, a voice without a face and warmth without eyes. 

now? now she was this pretty fiery thing with a pair of doe eyes that he saw everytime he closed his own. fuck, she was the prettiest goddamn thing he’d ever seen and he wished fate wasn’t so cruel to give him a dream when he was a fucking nightmare.

he couldn’t escape her anymore. 

“enough.” toji’s voice cut cleanly through the gym as sukuna began punching once more at the mere memory of her devastating features. 

toji walked over, caught the heavy bag with one hand and held it perfectly still, muscles straining against his compression shirt. 

sukuna glared at the motion, “move.” 

“fuck off, ya little shit,” toji scoffed, moving to shove sukuna back and away from the bag and he could see the pink-haired fighter’s nostrils flare in irritation, “get yourself together, you have a fight today, you don’t wear yourself out.” 

sukuna merely breathed heavily, eyes deep and almost wounded, cheeks flushed with exertion as toji glared right back. 

“you look a fuckin’ mess.” toji muttered with a scoff, taking a hold of the cigarette that rested behind his ear, lighting it quickly before resting it against his pink lips, “your girl?”

sukuna’s jaw clenched at his words as he bit at the velcro strap on his right glove, allowing it to tumble onto the ground before ripping the other one off. 

only then did he collapse on the floor of the ring, chest heaving as the adrenaline began washing away, quickly replaced with utter detestation. 

not for her, not even for toji but for him. he fucking despised himself. 

his eyes were trained on the stained ceilings as the words left him, “she fuckin’ hates me.”  

toji remained silent for a moment, taking a drag of his smoke before shrugging, “did you expect any less? you made her life fuckin’ miserable.” 

sukuna ddin’t even feel the anger coursing through him at his words because there was none. he was right. toji was completely correct. 

she had every fucking right to hate him, hell, isn’t that what he wanted anyways? 

he just didn’t expect it to be such a hard pill to swallow, his soulmate hating him. 

“that why you’ve been distracted?”

toji’s question made sukuna scoff instantly, eyes shifting to glance at the black haired man. 

“distracted?” sukuna scoffed, “i won every fuckin’ fight like i always fuckin’ do.”

toji scoffed, taking another drag, “you’ve taken more hits this month than you have the last two years.” 

sukuna’s jaw clenched because toji was right. 

“you missed asahi’s left hook last week.” toji continued, voice monotonous and emotionless to anyone that didn’t know him. 

but sukuna recognized the edge in his voice and it irked him, “it was a good move-”

toji scoffed instantly, “it was predictable as fuck and you know it. that’s a hit you could dodge with your fuckin’ eyes shut, don’t play with me, asshole.” 

toji scoffed, shaking his head as he turned away, walking towards the ropes. 

sukuna’s eyes remained on the ceiling, chest clenching in a way he wasn’t used to, a weight that was new or one he’d never noticed before. 

and he wasn’t sure why his mouth opened to toji of all people but he did. 

“she stopped calmin’ me down.” 

toji paused before turning to gaze down at the man whose crimson gaze remained fixed on the crack in the ceiling that toji vowed to fix years ago. 

“the nightmares are bad again…and i’m so damn angry all the fuckin’ time…” sukuna’s mouth spoke before he could stop it, “i knew she was takin’ care of me, i just didn’t think-”

he paused then, jaw clenching and nostrils flaring as toji allowed a small sigh to leave his lips. 

sympathy wrapped around him at the sight of the young man grieving something he never even wanted. a part of him knew it was sukuna’s fault and sukuna’s fault alone. 

the other part of him, the part that had taken the angry sixteen year old under his wing, knew that sukuna didn’t know better. he wasn’t taught better. 

all he knew was pain and violence so what would calloused hands do with something so soft and fragile like a soulmate? he was bound to break it. 

toji knew this was something sukuna had to do alone, it was growth that he would be forced to go through because toji knew how helpless one could be without their soulmate. and now that the two had met, there was no going back for sukuna and he would soon learn that for himself. 

“if you can’t go a day without thinkin’ of her, maybe you’re not meant to be apart…” toji stated lowly in a rare show of wisdom before bringing the smoke to his lips, “tonight, you’re goin’ against gojo again. you know how he is with his elbow, i expect you to fuckin’ see it comin’ this time.” 

with that, toji turned and jumped down from the ropes towards his back office, leaving sukuna to mull over the older man’s words. 

not meant to be apart? 

well, sure, they were soulmates, they were meant to be inseparable. but fate had made a mistake with him by tying an angel to him. 

what the fuck did she do to deserve him? 

after their meeting, he couldn’t even stomach the sight of another girl. 

the others didn’t have her eyes, the mole by her collarbone, the plushness of her pretty lips. 

they were all kinds of wrong. 

she used to stretch every morning. he remembered because his own muscles always felt strangely light even after a brutal session. 

his nightmares also became less frequent around the same time she’d started university. 

reading, coloring, coffee, music, warm blankets. 

she was all those little things, thousands of miniscule details that he’d never asked for but needed more than anything. 

they were things she’d never stopped doing, warmth she never stopped carrying…until now. 

slowly, sukuna flexed his aching fingers with a low grimace. everything fucking hurt. 

not because he trained harder but because she’d finally let him carry the weight alone. 

just like he’d asked her to. 

∞

shoko had started letting herself into your apartment way more often.

not because she lacked manners but because you had stopped regularly answering your phone.

she simply had no choice and your spare key that was usually left in the vase by the door was now in her possession. 

you heard the front door open somewhere beyond your bedroom, followed by familiar footsteps echoing softly against the marble floors. 

“morning, anikan!” shoko’s voice softly greeted the fluffy brown cat guarding your door like a doberman. a sleepy meow followedbefore your bedroom door practically slammed against your wall. 

“absolutely not.” 

you cracked one eye open. 

shoko stood in your doorway, already dressed for her literature lecture in an oversized brown leather jacket and jean shorts. 

she narrowed her eyes at your body burrowed beneath egyptian cotton, wide eyes peaking from beneath the duvet before glancing at the blackout curtains. 

“dude, it is eleven thirty.” shoko stated, arms crossing as she walked further into your room, socked feet padding against the carpeted floors before stopping at the edge of your bed, “didn’t you have a lecture at nine? you’ve missed a million fucking lectures!” 

“i’m caught up.” you groaned into your pillow, pulling your pink throw blanket against your chest, as if it would shield you from her judgmental gaze. 

“you watch recordings in bed.” 

you shrugged, “yeah, they’re fucking recorded for a reason.” 

shoko stared at you for a long beat before her eyes shut, letting out a sigh as if she was mustering up all the patience known to man, “i never thought i’d say this, but i miss your neurotic self when your priority was your damn routine.” 

you felt your heart clench gently. you knew she meant well but her words had stung because no one missed yourself more than you. 

you missed your discipline, your inability to stay at home all day, your daily walks and the way you looked forward to writing your stupid notes. 

dread filled you at the mere thought of leaving the comfort of your penthouse. 

you swallowed the lump in your throat, “sorry to disappoint, sho.” 

shoko instantly sighed, moving forward to sit at the edge of your bed, hand resting against your waist above the blankets, “what happened? what happened to you? where’d you go?” 

the gentleness in her voice almost made you cry, eyes blurring with tears as a lump grew in your throat once more. 

you attempted to blink them away but all that did was make it trickle down your hollowed out cheeks, “i don’t feel like myself anymore.” 

silence filled the room for a moment as you closed your eyes and buried your face into the blanket. 

then shoko’s hand moved up your back between your shoulder blades before moving back down in comforting and warm caresses. 

“you don’t have to feel like yourself today,” shoko stated quietly, “you can just pretend, yeah? eventually she’ll come back. come to class with me then we’ll get matcha from that place downtown that you love.” 

you felt the knot in your chest loosen just a bit before you peaked up at her from beneath the duvet, red rimmed eyes and all, “the one in chinatown?” 

shoko grinned gently, fingers pushing back the strand of hair on your forehead to behind your ear, “yup. they have a new strawberry one for spring.” 

shoko’s chest tightened at the way your eyes lit up just the slightest bit, finally shifting the blankes to below your chin, “i know that you’re bribing me but that sounds super good.” 

shoko smiled softly, “mhm. they even have this pink cold foam.” 

you groaned, “okay, i’m up. give me twenty.” 

∞

fourty minutes later, you found yourself walking across campus with your hands crossed against your chest, adorned in a mini slip skirt and a quarter sleeve shirt, feet adorned in a pair of designer flipflops. your face was bare, dark circles beneath your eyes that were hidden behind expensive dark sunglasses, your tote against your side. 

the humanities building sat on the opposite side of the university from the science building and you’d never really had  a reason to come here besides occasionally dropping shoko or hime off. 

it was definitely an older building, tall stained glass windows caught the late morning sun, spilling ribbons of amber across worn wooden floors. shelves upon shelves lined the corridor, overflowing with books and students sat scattered across window seats with books in hand, reading quietly. 

you frowned slightly, “this building is so pretty, why is the science one so boring?”

shoko looked entirely too pleased as she smiled, “i told you, it looks like hogwarts.” 

by the time you reached the lecture theatre, most seats had already filled up. 

“i’ve never seen a lecture so full.” you stated as shoko sat at the very front row, pulling out her ipad as you sat beside her. 

“oh, you’ll know why soon.” she giggled softly, turning her ipad on as you furrowed your brows at her ominous words. 

just as your mouth parted to question her further a man stepped through the doorway carrying a leather satchel and a ceramic coffee cup. 

your eyes followed the man, tall and broad-shouldered, impeccably dressed in a charcoal suit. his blonde hair was neatly styled, reading glasses resting low against the bridge of his nose as he set his coffee carefully on the desk.

he was both extremely attractive and young for a literature professor. 

“ugh, he’s so yummy.” shoko shook her head, eyes fixated on the man as her apple pen rested between her teeth.

your eyes furrowed, “does percy know you drool over your literature professor.” 

shoko turned to you with a small grin, “mhmm. he joins me sometimes.” 

you scoffed with a small giggle as she shook her head once more. 

“he’s gorgeous…” shoko sighed dreamily, “professor kento nanami, what a fucking man.” 

your eyes turned to him once more, heart stilling when you noticed his gaze already fixated on you. was he mad that you were here when you weren’t in his class? 

then he offered a small smile, one that washed away your worries, replacing it with relief. you met his eyes as you offered a polite one of your own. 

then you felt it, the subtle creeping of anger, hot and wild, beneath your ribs. fuck, this really wasn’t the time. 

your eyes shut momentarily, willing yourself-him-to calm down, simply for your own peace and not his. your thumb momentarily brushed against your knuckles, soft but achingly warm. 

professor nanami began speaking then, greeting the class before offering a short briefing about the learning objectives for the lecture.

your eyes were still closed, feeling the anger ever so slowly wash away. 

“devils dick?” shoko whispered gently as you merely nodded once, eyes opening once more when the overwhelming sensation dissolved into nothing more than indifference. 

“m’fine.” you stated once before shoko merely nodded, sensing your reluctance to speak about it before you both looked back at professor nanami. 

he was speaking about symbolism in nineteenth century literature with a calm intellect that somehow made an entire lecture room lean forward to grasp onto every word. 

you knew part of it was his achingly handsome features, but his teaching was truly interesting. 

“you know he’s a non-existent?” shoko mentioned as your brows furrowed just a bit. 

he had no soulmate? it was a bit poetic. the man who read and taught love sonnets and poems would never know the feeling of being tied to one person. of fate choosing someone that was supposed to make you whole, to fit the pieces of you that you didn’t know were missing. 

“lucky bastard.” you huffed out, leaning back and crossing your arms as shoko snorted gently. 

you believed non-existents were the lucky ones, not the ones with soulmates. because non-existents had the privilege of choice, the ability to love someone intentionally.

that was far more romantic, in your opinion. they weren’t stripped of the choice and forced into obligation. they were free. 

six weeks ago, you would’ve pitied him and now, you envied him. 

no phantom bruises, no sleepless nights, no wondering whether fate had ruined your life before you’d even lived it. 

a type of peace you’d forever grieve. 

you looked back towards the front of the room and for the first time in weeks, you wondered what that might feel like. 

at that exact moment, professor nanami looked up, hazel eyes meeting yours for a moment, faltering gently before moving on. 

he was all professional and brief, but something about his expression lingered and you weren’t sure if you liked it.

the hour lecture had passed relatively quickly, possibly because it was actually interesting. 

It was nice. not life-changing but interesting enough to pull you from the fog you’d been living in. 

the shopping district buzzed around you, people weaving between boutiques with paper bags swinging from their wrists while the sun beat down on the pavement. 

somehow, your little matcha outing had turned into a full shopping spree, courtesy of solely you. 

shoko held two shopping bags in each hand, huffing as you made your way out of another boutique, your own hands full of bags as well. 

“you did not need another pair of ballet flats!” shoko huffed out as you glanced at her through your dark sunglasses, smiling gently. 

“no, i didn’t,” you flipped your hair over your shoulder with a flick of your head, “i wanted it. plus, it was on sale so it was practically free!”

shoko groaned as you began walking down the pavement once more, your eyes already searching for the next place you would inflict damage upon your father’s black card in your bag, “it was still like five hundred bucks!” 

you merely shrugged with a giggle at her glare. 

for the first time in weeks, the conversation felt easy. not effortless but easier. you were making a very active effort not to think about the reason why your wrist was aching just a bit. 

as you both rounded another corner, the familiar green logo across the street caught your eye and you slowed instinctively, “i want a pau chocolate.” 

shoko stopped in her tracks, looking up at the bakery before nodding frantically, “yes, please! i need fucking fuel, my feet hurt!” 

you rolled your eyes before making your way into the trendy little bakery, daniel caesar playing softly from the speakers as shoko immediately took a seat, shopping bags at her feet. 

you laughed gently as she huffed before her screen lit up with an incoming call and you knew who it was from the small smile painting her lips when she caught sight of the name. 

“it’s perc. i should take this.” 

you rolled your eyes affectionately, “gross.” 

shoko grinned, “whatever. i only spoke to him twice today, couldn’t even say goodbye to him this morning.” 

you made a face, “please get a hobby.” 

“my hobby is my soulmate.” 

the words landed heavier than either of you expected, your face dropping just a bit as shoko’s smile faltered almost immediately, “s-sorry-”

you instantly forced a grin, scoffing out a laugh that was equally as forced, “ew, don’t apologize, you’re good. i’m gonna grab our pastries, you take the call.” 

shoko instantly shot you a smile before accepting the call as you moved to stand in line, faintly listening to the uncharacteristic softness in shoko’s voice. 

a familiar ache settled beneath your ribs, a bitterness you despised. not jealousy but longing. you wished you had what percy and shoko did. 

once, that would’ve been you. 

you shook your head softly before reading the menu on the wall despite knowing exactly what you wanted. 

“i wouldn’t suppose you’d have any recommendations for me, would you?” 

you turned instantly and your lips parted at the sight of professor nanami stood behind you in the queue, a neatly folded newspaper tucked beneath his arm. 

a newspaper? how old was this guy? 

it was a bit endearing, though. 

he looked oddly out of place outside campus, less professor and more…man. his tie had been loosened slightly, sleeves rolled neatly to reveal his veiny forearms. 

you smiled softly up at him, “unless you have a raging sweet tooth, i wouldn’t take my recommendation.” 

his lips twitched upward a bit, “hmm. i wouldn’t have guessed.” 

you merely tilted your head, wide eyes fluttering up at him with a gentle smile. 

“i don’t believe i’ve seen you in my lectures before,” he spoke once more, “you are not one of my students, right?” 

you shook your head, “no, i was just sitting in with a friend. i’m in pharmaceutics.” 

“i thought so,” he hummed thoughtfully, “i would have remembered y-”

he cut himself off, a flush of pink coating his cheeks as your breath hitched gently, heat crept into your cheeks despite yourself. 

“i-i didn’t mean-” he began as you shook your head, a small giggle leaving your lips. 

he seemed instantly relieved to hear your laugh, lips tilting up as his blush deepened and it was almost...cute. 

“you’re very-um-” nanami paused momentarily as your head tilted, eyes expectant as you waited for his next words, “you just-” 

your brows raised just a bit when he stopped himself once more, almost stumbling with his words, uncharacteristically unsure before sighing gently. 

“i never do this and please feel free to decline,” he began with soft eyes, almost hopeful, “but i know this great dessert place downtown, they make excellent pastries as well.”

there was a tiny pause, momentary before he continued, “would you want to…may i take you there?” 

your heartbeat stilled, not because of the fact that this was nanami but because it wasn’t sukuna. 

nanami’s eyes were gazing down at you, open and honest, so sweet, it made something in you squeeze at the thought of crushing that expectant look in his eyes. 

your lips parted before your eyes shifted to glance at shoko who was giggling into the phone with percy. 

soulmates. 

the word felt bitter now and your eyes drifted back toward nanami and his kind, patient eyes. 

the sort of man you stayed up hoping for when you were just a girl, the sort of man you hoped fate would tie you to. not a violent underground fighter or someone who broke your heart before he’d ever held it. 

maybe it didn’t have to be that way. maybe love wasn’t something you have to stumble into, maybe you could make a choice. 

maybe this was how broken hearted people moved on. 

or possibly…some wounded, childish part of you wanted sukuna to feel exactly what you felt for years. 

the very thought made you feel sick but it didn’t disappear. 

nanami waited patiently without rushing you. he didn’t attempt to fill the silence and didn’t try to assume your answer either. he almost waited for the mention of your soulmate, the rejection he was accustomed to and fully understood. 

“okay.” 

the word left you quieter and more hesitant than you’d intended. 

nanami’s eyes widened just a bit, “oh, uh, are you sure?”

you silently scolded yourself for the lack of certainty in your voice, immediately smiling reassuringly with a small nod, “yes. yes, i would love to.” 

nanami’s expression warmed, not triumphant, but almost relieved. 

“amazing…” he smiled warmly, “i can pick you up on friday?” 

you nodded with a gently grin, “friday. here, put your number in.” 

nanami grinned as you handed him your phone, cheeks flushed as he typed in his digits before handing you your phone once more, “i’m looking forward to it.” 

you blushed softly as you smiled a bit, “me too.” 

nanami nodded once, still adorning a soft grin as you both made small talk as he ordered and paid for your pastries which you thanked him for. 

soon, he excused himself politely, kissing your cheek softly before walking away, leaving you standing there with a strange mix of emotions. the most prevalent among them all was guilt. 

you were feeling guilty. 

you almost wanted to scoff and shake yourself to sense. you were doing nothing wrong. 

if your manwhore soulmate could sleep with other people, you could go on as many dates as you wished, even sleep with them if you wanted to. 

you quietly grabbed your tray and walked over to shoko, taking a seat on the table just as she closed the call. 

were you seriously going on a date? a date?

the mere thought sent you into a spiral that shoko’s voice instantly breached, “were you talking to professor nanami?” 

shoko’s brows were furrowed, both at the sight of you talking and the unsure expression on your face.

“mhm…he, um, he…asked me to go out with him on friday.” 

the revelation had shoko’s jaw dropping instantly, eyes searching your face for any sign of you messing around with her. 

“professor nanami….asked you out….on a date?” 

you merely nodded your head, grabbing the pastry on the plate and taking a bite of the buttery delicacy, a bite larger than you could handle as you chewed slowly, occupying your brain with chewing instead of spiraling. 

shoko’s eyes were still wide, jaw somewhat slack, “oh my god…” 

you simply shrugged despite the war taking place inside of you. 

half of you wanted to run after him and tell him you couldn’t go out with him, that despite the devastation of it all, you did have a soulmate and even though you, so badly, wanted revenge, you simply couldn’t stoop that low. 

the other part of you longed for the feeling of being wanted. sukuna had spent years making you feel impossible to love and nanami had known you all of sixty minutes and decided to take a chance. 

both parts of you were rooted in a sadness so deep, your stomach churned at the mere thought of moving on from your soulmate. and shoko could see it. 

“are you sure, babe?” shoko asked lowly, eyes furrowed as she leaned closer, “you just don’t seem like you’re in the right headspace for this…maybe wait-”

you shook your head once, “i won’t spend another second grieving someone i never had, someone that doesn’t even want me.” 

shoko’s eyes widened just a bit as you revealed more than you have the past few weeks. she wasn’t sure what happened at that party but she knew that ryomen sukuna had killed something in you that night, a light she so desperately wanted to see glint in your eye once more. 

so with that, she nodded instantly, “we’re gonna need another dress.” 

∞

the days blurred as they tended to lately. soon enough, friday had come and the dread swallowed you whole. 

shoko and hime had both attempted to distract you all week to make sure you wouldn’t overthink your decision, however, your thoughts could only show mercy for so long. 

every feeling of sukuna reminded you of him, of what you’d agreed to, of what you lost. 

by six thirty, you had completely regretted saying yes. 

“you changed your outfit four times.” utahime huffed out, arms folding over her chest as she sighed. 

“five.” shoko corrected from where she sat beside her, cross legged on your bed with ani on her lap, scrolling on her phone with much more patience than utahime. 

“i don’t know what to wear!” you sighed, looking around your walk-in closet with exasperation. 

utahime blinked, “since when?” 

“you always know what to wear.” shoko furrowed her brows as you huffed gently, leaving the closet to take a seat on your vanity, shoulders slumped as your eyes fixated on your fuzzy socks. 

“i’ve never been on a date before.” 

silence filled the room before you heard both girls shift. 

“this isn’t about the clothes.” utahime stated with certainty and your wide eyes glanced up at them. 

no, it wasn’t. of course it wasn’t. 

you turned to face the mirror, your hair already gathered up in rollers, still clad in your baby blue pyjamas. your eyes met through the mirror, bags under the delicate skin as your reflection stared quietly back. 

you could barely recognize yourself. 

you always thought yourself to be strong, the thought of crumbling over a man seemed absolutely absurd to you. yet here you were, already practically shattered because of someone who couldn’t care less whether you lived or died. 

horror filled you as your reflection grew blurry through the tears pooling in your tired eyes. 

“i just…” your voice shook, “i always thought-i didn’t think this is how it would end up.” 

the tears left you before you could control it, trailing down flushed cheeks and dull skin, something heavy thumping against your ribs so hard, you wanted to scream. 

utahime and shoko watched from their place in your bed, brows furrowed in sympathy as they watched you break at the prospect of living without your soulmate. 

you’d spent years fantasizing about what meeting your soulmate would feel like, despite the absolute nightmare he was. you thought of your first everything, but you were always particularly fond of the idea of a first date. 

the idea of getting dolled up and running late, of the doorbell ringing and your soulmate standing there with fresh pink peonies because he knew they were your favorite. you thought of how his eyes would widen in awe at the sight of you, who’d reach for whose hand first, who’d kiss who. 

ryomen sukuna had crushed more than your hope that day, he stomped on your dreams, on what you believed happiness to be. 

something inside of you shifted that night, something was lost and you didn’t know how to get it back. 

shoko stood and without saying anything, she crossed the room and gently wrapped her arms around your shoulders from behind, “hey. you don’t have to do this-” 

“yes, she does.” utahime stated bluntly despite her clenched jaw at the sight of your anguish. 

shoko narrowed her eyes at hime from the mirror, “shut up, hime!” 

utahime scoffed, walking into your closet and rummaging through your clothing, “she’s fucking going and she’s gonna have a blast.” she then stepped out with your favorite backless navy silk dress, “because if you don’t then you’re choosing someone who doesn’t choose you.” 

the room fell painfully quiet, her words landing right where your ribs ached. shoko tensed from behind you before standing up, her hands still on your shoulders as she glared at utahime. 

“are you ser-” shoko began but you were quick to cut her off, sniffling gently before gazing at your reflection once more. 

“you’re right,” you breathed out, wiping your cheeks before grabbing your primer, “kento is great, he’s super sweet…” both of the girls watched you expectantly so you turned to gaze up at them, “i just wish…” 

you didn’t let the words leave you and they didn’t need to hear it because they already knew. 

you wish it were him. 

∞

it was ten minutes before seven when your phone buzzed with a text from frankie, the concierge, a sweet old man whom you’d known since you were a child. 

frankie: there’s a man here for you, sweetheart. should i send him up?

you quickly sent him confirmation to allow nanami up, thanking him before looking up at utahime and shoko who were watching you brush through your bouncy blowout, “he’s downstairs.” 

a gasp left shoko loudly, “he’s early! ugh, he’s such a man!” 

and a man, he was. 

professor nanami seemed like the sort of man who would arrive early. he was eight years your senior, mature and kind, both traits you had picked up on from your occasional texts throughout the week. 

he’d texted you first that same night he asked you out, all polite and formal as he introduced that it was him and asked if you were still okay with the date. 

you remember giggling gently at his professionalism before assuring him that you were looking forward to it. he texted you here and there since then, simply asking questions to gauge what restaurant to choose for the date and your overall vibe.

“you literally look unreal.” shoko stated with a shake of her head as you gazed at the full length mirror in your living room. 

“he’s gonna faint.” utahime stated, taking a sip of the tea she had helped herself with. 

your dainty hands smoothed at the expensive fabric of your dress, the silk hugging you in all the perfect places, backless with a little silk scarf resting against your neck. 

a pair of silver heels adorned your feet and a matching clutch in hand. 

you did look pretty, at least prettier than you had the past few weeks. you tried to ignore the way the dress hung off you looser than it had weeks ago, collarbones more prominent than usual. 

the doorbell rang once, snapping you out of the spiral you were quickly falling into. 

you turned to the girls, eyes wide, “go! shoo! don’t let him see you, he’ll think i’m pathetic!”

shoko and utahime both giggled before running over to the door, standing right on the side so they were on the other side of the door when you opened it. 

a huff left you but you knew that was the best they would offer and you took it. 

your heels clicked as you made your way to the door, taking a deep breath before pulling it open and there he was. 

nanami was standing tall in dark trousers and a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled neatly to his forearms, revealing skin void of any ink, defined and smooth. 

your heart clenched when your eyes drifted to his hand. he was holding a small bouquet of pink peonies.

his eyes found yours instantly when you looked up and for a second, you could see the nerves buzzing under his skin before he smiled shyly, “you look lovely.”

lovely. not pretty or beautiful but lovely. somehow that was even sweeter. 

your throat tightened before forcing out a soft smile, “thank you.” 

he glanced towards the flowers before holding them out to you, “i remember you said you loved spring because of the pink peonies around the other day so, uh, here.” 

you felt your heart tighten as a soft laugh left you, “they’re beautiful, thank you so much. let me just put them in water really quick then we can get going.” 

nanami merely nodded as you took ahold of the flowers, allowing the door to shut just to see shoko and utahime silently squealing behind the door. 

“he is so cute!” shoko whispered as you slapped her arm. 

“shut up, he’s right there!” you whispered back as utahime merely grinned. 

“you got your flowers.” 

you paused momentarily, shoulders tensing as you swallowed gently. 

yes, you did get your flowers, peonies and all. 

why was the heavy feeling still lingering beneath your ribs? 

you had spent years imagining this and somehow, you got almost every detail right. 

except the man behind the door. 

you shook your head at the thought before holding out the bouquet to the girls, utahime grabbing ahold of it, “put them in my mom’s crystal vase on the counter, please.” 

both girls gave you a thumbs up, grinning in encouragement as you opened the door once more, nanami immediately meeting your gaze. 

“ready?” 

you nodded with a soft smile, “yup.” 

“great. bye girls.” nanami called out, amusement lacing his words to the girls who you could so clearly hear shuffling behind the door. your cheeks flushed as you shut the door. 

“have fun!” shoko yelled. 

you were quick to lock the door, placing the keys in your clutch before turning to the man, “sorry about that.” 

nanami merely chuckled deeply, offering his arm, unassuming and sweet.

you hesitated for the briefest moment before gently looping your hand through it, his arm tensing almost imperceptibly. he was nervous. 

the realization made something ache quietly inside your chest. 

he wasn’t ryomen sukuna, all untouchable and feared. 

he was simply a man hoping tonight would go well and for some reason, the revelation was so endearing, you found yourself shifting closer to him as you made it to the elevator. 

“do you live here all alone?” nanami questioned as he pressed the lobby button. 

you hummed gently, “technically, my parents live here as well but they just travel a lot, so i’m on my own more often than not.” 

nanami gazed down at you, “i mean, it’s a beautiful building…does it not get lonely?” 

you sighed softly before shrugging, “i mean, yes and no. i love being alone and hanging out with myself, and i’m kind of used to it. but sometimes…sometimes i wish it wasn’t so quiet. but my friends are over a lot anyways.”

and your soulmate never truly let you feel alone, he lived under your skin. 

but nanami didn’t need to know that. 

nanami merely hummed in acknowledgement, the rest of the lift ride passing in comfortable silence, neither of you seemed particularly eager to fill it with meaningless conversation. 

when the doors opened into the lobby, frankie looked up from behind the reception desk almost instantly. 

his weathered face lit into a smile, “well, don’t you look like a million bucks, sweetheart.” 

your cheeks warmed as you grinned at the man, “hi frankie.” 

the older man looked between you and nanami before his eyes settled knowingly on the bouquet now missing from nanami’s hands, “got ya flowers, huh? peonies too.” 

nanami cleared his throat politely, hand moving to rest lightly on your back, “i thought it was appropriate.” 

frankie chuckled, “what a gentleman. you take care of her, huh?” 

you blushed softly, “frankie!” 

the man simply chuckled as nanami offered him a smile before leading you outside, the spring evening beginning to settle over the city. the air was warm enough that the city seemed to glow beneath strings of lights and illuminated storefronts, but a chilled breeze made it so nanami’s hand was warm against your bare back. 

nanami walked beside you at an easy pace, matching your stride, conscious of the difference in height as your legs were much shorter than his own. 

“i hope you don’t mind walking.” he stated as you immediately shook your head. 

“not at all, i love walking.” 

nanami smiled gently, “the restaurant isn’t far.”

you merely hummed in acknowledgement as another comfortable silence fell upon you. 

“i should confess something.” nanami broke the silence as you looked over at him curiously, “i’ve never done this before.” 

your head tilted, “gone on a date?” 

he smiled faintly, “asked a student on a date.” 

you couldn’t help but laugh softly, “that does sound like an important distinction.” 

“i thought so…” he glanced at you briefly, “i’’ve spent the entire week wondering whether it was wildly inappropriate.” 

“and?” 

“i’m still undecided…but willing to take the chance.” the blonde man nodded once, cheeks warm as you smiled softly. 

“well, if it helps, i’m not your student.” 

“that’s exactly what i told myself.” 

another laugh escaped you, this time real and true, easier than the last. 

it surprised both of you and nanami didn’t comment on it. he simply looked ahead again, a small smile lingering on his face. he liked hearing you laugh. 

the rest of the walk was easier, blanketed in comfortable conversation and warmth. 

∞

kento nanami was a dream. 

he was chivalrous, pulling your chair out and opening the door for you. he was kind and attentive, grasping every word that left your mouth like you were revealing state secrets. and he was so handsome, it kind of ached to look at him. 

the dinner couldn’t have gone better, filled with easy conversation, soft laughs and gentle touches that were more comfortable than expecting. 

the little italian restaurant was gorgeous, candlelit and dimmed. the food was absolutely amazing and he insisted you try some of his seabass. 

by the time nanami walked you back to your building, the city had long since quieted. the rush of evening had softened into something gentler, streetlights reflecting across the dark pavement while the occasional taxi rolled lazily down the road, headlights cutting through the breeze. 

“i had a lovely evening.” nanami’s voice was as steady as ever, hands in his pockets as you both stood outside the doors. 

you looked up at him, a small smile painting your glossy lips, “i did too.” 

and you had. that was the worst part. 

there hadn’t been a single awkward silence, not a moment where the conversation dulled. 

nanami smiled warmly, “i’m glad. can i call you tomorrow?”

you felt your stomach twisting as you nodded, “i’d like that.” 

his eyes searched yours for a moment before leaning forward to place a chaste kiss against the warmth of your cheek, “goodnight.” 

you blushed gently, “goodnight, kento.” 

nanami offered one last grin before stepping back and walking towards the darkness. only when his figure was swallowed by the night did you step inside. 

the lobby was quiet which made sense, as it was almost midnight. 

frankie looked up from behind the reception desk almost instantly, reading glasses balanced low on his nose as he looked over the evening newspaper. 

“i showed you how to check your news on your phone, frank.” you grumbled as you leaned down to unclasp your heels, stepping out of them onto the cool flooring. 

his face brightened, “there’s my girl!” 

you smiled gently, holding the straps of your heels in hand, “hi frankie.” 

“how was the date with blondie?” he questioned casually, setting the paper down, offering his full attention. 

you couldn’t help but take note of his hopeful tone, like he already knew the answer he’d wanted. 

you sighed gently, walking over slowly before resting your elbows against the polished marble desk the way you had since you were little enough that you could barely see over it.

“it was…” you searched for the word, “really nice.” 

frankie smiled, “knew it would be.” 

you nodded, “he opened the door and pulled out my chair and everything.” 

frankie smiled amusedly, “oh?” 

“mhmm…” you sighed sleepily, “i only mentioned the pink peonies once when we were texting and he brought them.” 

frankie let out a low whistle, “impressive.” 

you laughed softly, eyes shutting as the silence that followed stretched just a little too long. 

frankie’s smile faded first, “you seem pretty sad for a girl who went on a really nice date.” 

your eyes fluttered open, meeting his own dark ones, “i thought if it went perfect, i’d feel better.” 

frankie’s brows furrowed gently, “he not the one?” 

his question was heavy, lingering between you for a moment because you simply didn’t want to utter the words. 

“no. he’s not my soulmate.” 

frankie’s shoulders deflated as he shook his head, “figured.” 

your eyes grew watery before you could stop it, “i really wanted him to be enough.” 

frankie reached across the desk and laid one weathered hand over yours, thumb rubbing gently across the back of your hand. 

“i spent most of the night thinking that this is what my soulmate should’ve been like.” 

the words hung heavily between you and frankie’s expression shifted to something sadder, full of understanding. 

“devils dick can suck a dick for all i care.” frankie huffed out and you couldn’t help but let out a watery giggle. 

shoko had told frankie to refer to your soulmate as devils dick when you were seventeen and he hadn’t strayed from it since. 

“he didn’t want me.” you confessed lowly, almost a whisper and frankie almost missed it if he wasn’t so focused, “i just thought it’d be different. like you and luanne.” 

frankie smiled at the mention of his wife, “luanne and i hated each other when we met.”

your eyes widened, “are you serious? you told me it was love at first sight, that you’d eloped the night you met.” 

frankie shrugged gently, “you were seven, i didn’t wanna crush your dreams.” 

your brows furrowed, huffing as you walked behind the desk, taking a seat on the desk facing him. 

“why did you hate each other? how? i mean, you’re both so obsessed with each other, it’s gross.” 

frankie chuckled a deep chuckle as he leaned back in his chair, “when we first met, she worked at this diner i walked into. i remember that i swore i’d never marry her. she called me an arrogant prick.” 

you snorted, “real.” 

“she was so angry at me, she started throwing bread rolls at my head.” 

that earned him another giggle, soft and real.

frankie smiled, “point is…life has a funny way of provin’ stubborn people wrong.” 

you looked at him for a second before your smile faded, “i don’t think sukuna’s stubborn. i think he’s already decided. he seemed pretty sure when he basically told me to fuck off.” 

frankie frowned, “i’ll kill him.” you looked down with a soft sigh, “either way, it’ll work out. sometimes fate asks for a lot more patient from you than she ever should.” 

your shoulders slumped, “i don’t think i have any patience left.” 

frankie’s heart squeezed, recalling the years he’d watched you feel your soulmate, the nights you came down already on your fourth cup of coffee because he’d kept you up. he’d seen you shut your eyes and blow out candles during every birthday, knowing all you’d wished for is for your soulmate to be good.

he’d watched little pieces of you shape themselves around someone you’d never even met. and now, he was watching those same pieces fall apart. 

you glanced at him with a small sigh, “i should head to bed.” 

frankie sighed gently, “alright, sweetheart. call me if ya need anythin’.” 

you nodded softly, leaning over to press a kiss to the old man’s wrinkled cheek, “night, frank.” 

“night, kid.” 

your bare feet padded softly as you made your way to the lift. 

and somewhere across the city, another man laid awake for the sixth week in a row. 

and neither of them knew that the other was also grieving.

∞

an | oops finally! chapter is v reader focused but next chapter will be the reunion ahhhhhh also SMUT omg ! this is kind of a transition chapter to show the grief cuz i know yall want the reader pissed but she's just a girl and she is GRIEVING so leave her alone !!!!

Loving Satoru was dangerous, it was insanity, blinding like the lightning that pours in as his hands move to the delicate zipper on the back of your gown, noticing your tag then, toying with it.

“You kept the tag?” You blush as his knuckles brush against your spine, just where he is unzipping, following it like a little trail, making you throb.

“I can’t afford this-”

Satoru rips the tag off, you gasp and look back, seeing his glare. “I’ll give you the money to keep it.”

“Toru…”

“You deserve everything, pretty lil goddamn body in this dress? Think I’ll let you take it back? Hah,” he tugs that zipper all the way down, the silk is so heavy with rain it just falls, pooling at your feet around your ankles. “You’re keeping it.”

“You shouldn’t buy things for me…” You shiver, not just from the cold, but from the intimacy of every moment, with how his lips brush against your ear, and he presses his own cold, wet clothes against you.

“I’ll make sure you have everything you deserve,” his words are insanity, his kiss along your ear somehow sweet as it is filthy. “You won’t want for a goddamn thing when you’re all mine.”

“You’re s-so anti feminism…” You mumble, he snorts at that, tickling your skin. “You are setting me back generations.”

“You can make your money if you want, then,” he says softly. “Since you’re a stubborn little brat, but I’m paying for that fucking dress. Yes?” He turns you to face him, tilting your chin up now, the rain still pattering against your windows. “Say yes.”

“Yes.”

“Good, doin’ s’good already,” he whispers, stepping back – his pretty blue gaze is devoted, worshipping your body as he looks at you, standing there in nothing but your soaked lace bra and panties. “Fuckin’ perfect.”

You go to cover up just a bit and he smacks your hands. “Satoru!”

“Don’t cover any of your body up,” he murmurs, drugged from you, the very sight of his pretty Professor half naked in front of him now, your tits pressed up as that lace molds to their form, nipples glaringly apparent. “Pretty Professor.”

“Psycho student,” he would laugh at your brattiness if he wasn’t so hard it hurt, unbuttoning his dress shirt, showing his chest, his hard abdomen, feeling your gaze against him. “Pretty psycho.”

“Ya think I’m pretty, hmm?” You roll your eyes, and Satoru steps closer, shirt off and on the floor in the soaking wet mess both of your clothes are now.

“You know you are, ah!” He’s too close now, as he hooks his thumbs into the elastic waistband of your panties, tugging and sliding them down your legs with the sweetest expression, achingly slow – inch by inch. “Toru…”

He kneels as he tugs them down, looking up at you underneath those spiked lashes, pressing a soft kiss to your hip bone as your panties fall right down to your ankles, he helps you step out of them, pressing another kiss to the inside of your thigh. Your breath catches, dizzy from need, from how fucking perfect it feels to have him just like this.

On his knees before you.

You brush his still damp strands back, eyes fluttering shut when he kisses higher, breath ghosting over where you need him the most, he teases a kiss on your hood, on your waist, standing once more. He reaches right around your waist, unclasping your bra with a flick of his wrist, letting it fall down behind you.

“You had lots of practice,” you tease, your eyes narrowing at him, Satoru snorts at that, his huge hands coming up to cup your pretty tits in his hands, his thumbs running circles over your puffy nipples, making them press out against them, begging for attention.

“You sound jealous again, hmm?” He teases, you can’t help but bite down on your lower lip, nipples aching with the coolness of the air against your still chilled skin. “That I have had some practice?”

“Very,” you admit with a pretty scowl, he gets harder, undoing his belt with a loud click as he moans into your mouth, kissing you over and over. “Mmm… maybe I’m a little psycho.”

“You have no idea how fucking insane you make me, sweetheart,” he whispers, his lips pressed against the curve of your neck, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses across your neck, your shoulder, hands pressing into your waist, squeezing it and making your heart hammer in your chest. “No fucking idea.”

If you knew.

You know a bit, but you have no clue how fucking serious Satoru was – how he meant it when he said he’d chain you up. His tongue darts against your skin, lapping up the taste of you, even sweeter with that rainwater on your skin. You’re trembling now, breaths coming faster, almost losing your patience as you tug open his belt fully, letting his pants unbutton just so.

“Need you, Toru,” you feel so fucking vulnerable then, but how can you not need him? How can you not need all of him – all of his insanity against you.

“Yeah, do you, baby?” He teases softly, kissing you deeper, the two of you stumbling past your tiny little kitchen, he pauses, frowning now.

You follow his gaze to the small plastic dispenser holding your birth control pills, and you see a damn vein press out from his jaw – a muscle ticking, as if he’s fucking furious.

“Satoru…”

He grins.

Oh it’s a feral fucking grin, too.

“You’re not…”

“Fuck this shit,” Satoru snatches up the little plastic case, walking quickly over to your trash can. He opens it and rips the foil, letting the little pills fall into it.

Fuck he’s insane.

Fuck it’s hot.

You’ll worry about all that tomorrow, about how an independent woman like you is loving this breed kink freak of a student, raising a brow at you, as if asking if you want him to continue.

Your cheeks heat up, stepping closer, seeing his open slacks, those v cuts and the white hair scattering over. “Wanna really fucking keep any?”

“You’re insane,” you breathe out, a soft little laugh escaping your lips despite yourself. “You’re absolutely beyond fucking insane, Satoru.”

“Yeah, I am,” he smirks at you now. “Need to keep any?”

“No, you little jerk,” you mumble.

You wanna be bred by him – give him all the goddamn babies.

Not six.

Maybe three.

Satoru walks over to you and cups your chin, tilting it up now, as you’re naked right in front of him, your own hands on the waistband of his boxers. “Take ‘em off for me, hmm?”

“Yes,” you whisper, easing those pants and boxers down, he’s kicking them off until he’s standing right in front of you, completely naked – he’s painfully hard, his cock jutting out thick and heavy, dripping white pre as you kneel. “Mng…”

You can’t stop yourself from lapping the salty substance, sucking on that reddened tip, eyes fluttering shut, earning a gentle little smack. “Eyes on me, sweetheart – on me.”

You look at him now, naked on your tile floor, letting him guide his thick, veiny cock into your eager, wet mouth with a filthy little moan. His hand tangling in your wet locks of hair, shoving his cock deep in your hot, eager little mouth, all while your eyes stay locked on his, tip gliding all smooth over your tongue, against the roof of your mouth.

“That’s it, love that I threw them out, hmm? Love that I wanna knock your pretty body up?” He’s babbling as you suck, laughing like he’s really gone and fucking lost it, his long lashes fluttering as you swallow more of him, taking him deeper with every mean stroke. “F-fuck…”

You barely get a few more in before he’s yanking you up, picking you up with an arm around your waist, you let out a surprised squeak as he carries you over to the couch, the one you’ve sat down and drank wine on, all alone before he met you. Before he came to invade your space, taking all of you over.

He lays you onto the soft cushions, caging you in with his huge arms, your hands come to grip them, feeling the hard muscles and lines of his body, his knees forcing your thighs apart. His eyes are even darker as he kisses you over and over, and you spread wide for him.

“You love me,” he murmurs, you swallow as he pulls back. “Don’t you?”

“I love your psycho ass,” you whisper, lips trembling – it’s like a madness, a sickness for him that you can never get over. As if there could have been ‘just once’ or ‘just the week’ when he consumes you like this.

“You’re all mine,” he whispers, this is a side of Satoru even you haven’t seen, for every bit of him that’s possessive, psychotic, there is a vulnerability to him, to how he pouts just a bit. “Aren’t you all mine, baby?”

You can only nod, your throat too tight to form words – what would they even be at this point but begging, pleading, babbling? As his hips move, and you feel the tip of his cock against you – slick with your spit.

“Toru!”

“This cunt is mine,” he is lost in how goddamn good you feel, his tip catching that mess that’s dripping down your slick folds, over and over, watching you unravel beneath him. “These tits are mine.”

“Mnh!” Satoru’s bending down as he ruts his cock against your messy cunt,  sucking a perked up nipple into his hot, wet mouth and biting down just hard enough to make you gasp, teeth making sweet pain spread through your body.

“Mine, god I can’t wait for these to have milk, you’re done being a stubborn brat, being mean?”

“You’re…” He bites your nipple again, smirking.

“I’ll drink milk right from them,” he tilts his head, tongue long and filthy as it swirls right around, and you’re trembling, hands gripping him so tight, nails pressing into his biceps and leaving marks.

“Drink them!?”

“Fuck yes, mmm… baby will have to share.”

“I can’t with you,” you giggle and earn another bite, and a pretty glare. “You’re serious!”

“Very,” he leans back a bit, his eyes locking onto your exposed, glistening cunt, and he spits right on it with a long gossamer strand – a fucking filthy act, his saliva landing right on your clit. You jerk just a bit as he sighs, using his thumb to smear it around, mixing it with your own wetness that’s drooling out.

“You can’t j-just drink all the milk you weirdo, mnh!” He chuckles, looking at you and spreading your thigh high, propping your calf right on the back cushion.

“Gonna get you so full of me,” he mumbles, already drunk from you – as his tip hits your twitchy lil clit over and over, pulling back just before you can squirt. “Maybe I should punish you for running away.”

“Punish me?” Your eyes roll back when he pulls back, spitting on your cunt again. “Please…”

He lines himself up with your entrance, teasin’ it, just the head popping in only to pop right out, coated in your slick. You whine out desperately now, eyes all pretty, nails pressing harder. “No more running. No more pretending you don’t love me, no more thinking I don’t want only you.”

You swallow now, nervously, parting you lips as if to protest – but it’s as if he can read you like a fucking book.

“But tomorrow-”

“No buts,” he whispers, teasing you again, cupping you with his free hand, your face so small in his grip. “No arguing, you’re gonna be the good girl I know you can be, and let me breed you. Hmm?”

You bite down on your lower lip.

“Say it,” he whispers softly, breath ghosting your lips. “That you want me to breed your pretty pussy, that you wanna give me all those babies I deserve.”

Fuck it.

“I want it,” he whines out, pushing inside your slutty little pussy, bottoming out and stretching you – without the usual play, you’re utterly tight, feeling every fucking inch of him. “Ah! S-so deep I…”

“It’s all me, isn’t it baby? All me in your pretty head,” he is lost as you, your cunt isn’t all it is, your pretty face isn’t all it is – no, Satoru’s need is too much, he will never let you go.

If he has to chain you, he will.

He thinks you’ll probably love it.

“What’s going on in th-that mind, hmm?” You barely manage to whisper as he pounds his cock into you, as he rails you so hard you’re trembling, wondering at the flash of white teeth as he makes your hips jerk with every thrust.

“Do you really wanna know, teach?” He murmurs, slowing just a bit, the white hairs at the base of his cock grinding too perfectly against your little clit.

“Y-yes…. I wanna know…”

Your fucked out whisper is more than enough for him – Satoru didn’t care if you knew it all anymore, if you knew every insane thought he had.

“Wanna tie you up to my bed and never let you go,” your lips part as he grinds again, lifting your thigh higher and pressing it up, making you whine out pathetically. “Wanna lock you away and tell everyone you’re gone, that’s what. Keep you all to my fucking self.”

“You c-can’t…” You really should be scared, but you can’t be – not with that filthy pressure against you that has your toes curling, those heels tugged off by him and clattering to the floor.

“I won’t,” he corrects, smirking down at you. “But I want to, pretty teacher – I want to so fucking bad, I don’t want to share you.”

Your answers are soft whines as he presses the heel of your foot on his shoulder, kissing up your calf and watching the creamy ring form at the base of his cock, with a filthy squelch. “Toru…”

“You feel that? Feel how deep I am? Hah, look at me moving inside you,” Satoru’s irises are swallowed now, you can hardly see a little ring of blue left, the lighting flashing with his feral grin as he watches that bulge move in and out. “Eyes on me, what did I say?”

Your eyes immediately obey before your own damn mind can comprehend he’s ordering you too. “I feel you.”

“That’s where I’m gonna fill you all up,” his lips dart up your neck, tickling you as he folds you right in half. “Gonna paint your fucking walls with it.”

His words are filthy as fuck, but his kisses are reverent, those big hands just worshipping you in a way that makes you dizzy, needy for him. He’s reduced you to a babbling little mess beneath him as his balls smack your ass with a loud thwack, hitting it hard, the squelch of your messy hole sucking him in mixing with the blood that’s rushing in your ears.

He groans out softly, his eyes squeezing shut and fluttering all pretty with those snowy lashes for a moment as you feel him move inside you, before they lock back onto yours. They’re so blue it’s intense, almost glowing in the dim light of your living room, his laugh soft as his fingers leave bruises. “You’re gonna look so fucking pretty, all round and full of me.”

Your entire body heats up at the vision, the words he whispers like that, you can feel your orgasm about to hit, tight in your core with every drag of his tip on your spot. “Close, close! Mng… Satoru…” you whimper out – your nails pressing into his broad shoulders, making him suck in a breath.

“You’re close, hmm?” He whispers, letting his cock drag all slow in your walls, leaning over you, lips a breath away. “Wanna cum just for me?”

“Mhm!” Satoru leans up and reaches down, his thumb finding your clit and rubbing it in tight, pretty little circles, shoving his cock in deep so it bruises your cervix, his skin glistening with sweat and the rain from outside. “Come on, then, sweetheart. Cum for me. Milk all of it out of me.”

Your back arches off the couch, whining out as that pleasure takes you over – pussy clamping right around him, pulsing and doing just that – milking his cock, gripping him so tight he whimpers.

“Fuck,” he moans out your name desperately, his hips jerky, the way he fucks you erratic now as your aftershocks hit him, his own seed flooding your pussy, white and puffy and hot in your walls.

“Toru!” You’re lost, kissing him desperately, letting his tongue glide along yours as he fills you so full it’s already leaking, he’s laughing softly, grinning like a psycho against your neck.

“You wanted to protect me from what, hmm? From having you forever, for having you be all mine?”

Your answer is a soft, desperate little sound, tears escaping your eyes. “I j-just wanted to…”

He bites your neck hard – teeth sinking enough to make you gasp as it breaks that tender skin. “This is the only thing I want. You – all full of me, carrying all my babies. Knew it when I first saw you in the fucking hall. Before that lecture, before you told me how good I did, hmm?”

You’re sniffling now, tears spilling at his intensity, as he presses little kisses all over your neck, your cheeks, lapping one up and moaning.

“Fuck you’re pretty like this,” he murmurs, pulling his messy cock out to watch that thick, white cum already starting to leak out of you, your own release coating him in gloss. “You’re cryin’ so fuckin’ pretty right now.”

“Weirdo,” you manage to mumble – but you love that shit, you love when he uses the swollen head of his cock to push it back in, filthy as he swipes it down to gather it all, pushing it right back in your hole.

“Ah!”

“Can’t waste a drop of all this,” he murmurs, fucking it right back into you, your thighs quivering as his hands slide up them, cunt already sore. “We’ve got a lot of work to do, sweetheart.”

“Work?” You mumble, incoherent almost from him.

“Mhm,” he smiles all cute and boyish, brushing his hair back like he’s not a deviant. “A lot of breeding to catch up on without those pills.”

“I swear…”

He just kisses you again, until you’re too fucked out to even know what fucking time it is, you lose track of it all when it’s the morning and he’s got you on the counter, kissing up your neck, so many loads inside you’re full. Satoru was not kidding when he said he had every plan to knock you up tonight, clearly, and you’ll just have to push that off for another day, too.

Because currently, you just wanna fucking give him anything.

*****

You spend an entire weekend with Satoru, getting fucked in any and every position the man can imagine, he’s not joking when he says he can fuck you all day – if it wasn’t for you being sore, the psycho could get hard again for you. You’re at his place on Sunday and you haven’t seen the light of fucking day, as if he’s already planning on keeping you all to himself, locked up like he ‘joked’ about’.

The morning light filters through his blinds when you wake up completely sore like you’ve worked out too damn hard, glittering light glowing against the floor in pretty gold. Satoru’s side of the bed is all rumpled, you can smell the scent of coffee, sighing as you stand, your sore ass legs crying out for help.

How many times could a thirty year old get folded in half!?

Satoru is standing, his broad shoulders and that strong back damn near making you wet again – as if you’re not already fucking dehydrated. He’s making a cup in the keurig when you walk over carefully, quietly, hugging him around the waist and making him chuckle just a bit.

“Morning sleeping beauty,” he teases, a hand coming to cover your wrists, as he looks back at you.

“Morning Toru…” You get emotional then.

This would all be over soon.

This bliss, the ease and the domesticity of it all would be over, and that thought hurts so bad you pull back, making him frown, turning to look at you and cupping your face.

“Sweetheart, what…”

“I don’t want it to end,” you admit, you’ve tried so hard to keep it together, to keep any semblance of normal through it all, but it’s all out of the window now, all gone – replaced with the way you need him. “I don’t.”

“It’s not ending,” he murmurs, seeing your pretty, glittery eyes – the ones he’s looked into every chance he could this weekend.

You think he’d let you go?

You think he’d ever let you go?

“Why do you think that, hmm?”

“Because, work tomorrow… your parents are gonna fucking kill me. Kill both of us, and I don’t want them taking your trust fund.”

He laughs.

He laughs.

You smack him.

“It’s not funny!” He swipes your tears and you smack him again. “I’m dead ass serious, Satoru.”

“Have some coffee, professor,” he walks over and puts just the right amount of cream and sugar, your fingertips brushing together. “I have just the solution for the trust fund issue, actually.”

“You do?” You take a sip of the hot coffee, sighing and fluttering your eyes shut at how good it feels on your tongue.

“Mhm,” he takes your free hand and touches your ring finger. “Future Mrs. Gojo."

He says it so casually, like he's commenting on the weather outside or the basketball game last night, watching your mouth open.

“What?”

“Mrs. Gojo!? That’s insane – and… and…”

“You wouldn’t marry me?” You hear it now, the worry – but that’s not fucking it – of course you would.

It’s the fact that they’d never accept you, that they’d give him shit, that-

“Answer me, now.”

His soft order has your eyes looking right up.

“Good girl,” you curse, thighs pressing together. “Don’t let that pretty professor brain think too much. Answer if you’d marry me.”

“Yes, I would,” you whisper now, sighing and shutting your eyes. “But-”

“Ah-ah,” he cuts you off, setting your cup down, barring you on either side, hands on the counter. “I found a special clause in my trust fund – I can get it before I’m twenty-five under two very archaic conditions.”

“Two conditions?” You ask, blinking a bit, seeing his smirk. “Marriage?”

“Mhm, and an heir,” his hand drifts to your tummy. “If I have both of those, I get it before – and I won’t run their dumb fucking company with it either.”

“You’re… not?” You’re so fucking proud of this psycho when he touches your cheek gently.

“I wanna be a professor like you,” your heart breaks, it melts for him – the way his fingers shake just a bit.

“Like me? You wanna be like me, Toru?” You whisper, voice broken, tears slipping from your eyes.

“Yeah, I wanna teach… I always thought there was no fucking point, but with you I just…” He kisses you softly now, sighing. “I wanna teach.”

“I’ve never been so fucking proud, god,” you smile tremulously now. “You wanna make a shitty professor pay?”

“And have shitty hours, be unappreciated, all that,” he teases back, smiling against your lips. “Have no personal life, bring my work home, care too much about my students.”

“So you wanna be me?”

“I do…” He frowns now. “Which means – as much as I wanna lock you up and never let you leave, tell everyone you died and hide you-”

“Satoru!”

“Sorry, aha,” he grins again, as if any of that was a joke, seeing your glare. “As much as I want that shit, and I hope to eventually have it. What better than being a Professor too? Right next to you, so we can be together, and I can make sure no one is hitting on my wife.”

“You’re utterly serious,” you blink rapidly, chest rising and falling. “You’d let me still teach then, hmm?”

“Well, part time. I need you having babies,” you snort a bit. “But yes, I’m willing to let you work since you want to, so goddamn bad – remember, the trust fund is enough neither of us ever have to, really.”

“I would love to teach next to you,” you whisper, hands slipping up his bare chest, shaking your head now. “I’m so proud of you, doing what you want – not what they do. Toru I really am.”

Fuck.

He can’t handle your praise, nothing has Satoru hard like that, and he knows your poor cunt is all beat up from him, he turns you toward that counter, gripping you under your chin, pressing his cock right against the small of your back. You whine out, head falling back, letting him tug you hard, arching your back just for him.

“Your praise is making me leak so much pre, fuck,” you laugh a bit at that, shaking your head as he grips your chin. “It does, you have no idea.”

“My pussy hurts!”

“I could fuck your thighs,” he teases, the thoughts have you biting down on your lower lip. “You’d like that, hmm?”

“Get to the real question, how do we just… get married? They’ll hate that idea and the rest of the semester?”

“Don’t worry,” he murmurs, sliding the big shirt of his you’re wearing up, tugging it high in a knot as he slips his cock from his boxers, you gasp when you feel the sticky cum against your inner thigh. “They’ll keep it quiet, all of it – we’ll reveal we’re together later next semester.”

“B-but you… they’ll…”

“A rumor or two? You won’t worry about that when you’re filthy rich, will you baby? When you’re covered in diamonds and everything I can buy you – fuck your thighs are so soft,” he’s gasping out as he feels them now, pressing on either side of his thick length. “God you are perfect, slutty pussy drippin’ already.”

“Toru!” You’re aching as his tip presses just enough against your clit to make you whine, his shaft gliding between puffy, abused folds as he wraps his other bicep around your waist, lips moving messy up your neck.

“Marry me, pretty professor,” he whispers.

“While you’re fucking my thighs, you’re proposing!?”

“Yes!?”

“God,” he’s slipping faster, gliding through the mess as he pictures it all – you pregnant, married to him, getting to kiss you in every hall, getting to tell his parents to get fucked. With you. “Marry me, pretty please?”

“You can’t act cute mid thigh f-fucking,” he pouts against your skin, and you’re trembling, your hands gripping the counter tightly, every stroke between your thighs pushing you closer. “You wanna marry me? Are you…”

“Yes, god yes – only you f’me,” he mumbles, all pussy drunk as he moves, as his hips snap against the curve of your ass, gripping you harder, using your thighs and your body like you are his little doll. “Just you, fuck just say yes… lettin’ you work and shit, hmm?”

“S-so generous,” you giggle but it’s cut off when his tip hits your twitchy clit, the one he’d sucked and hummed on last night till you squirted all over his face. “Yes, I’ll marry you, but… they’ll be so-”

“Let me handle them for you,” he whispers, even closer as his tip catches your clit again, feeling you gush as he glides once more, he can tell you’re about to squirt all over him. “I’ll take care of it all, sweetheart. Gonna be mine, all mine, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you are done for, a drooling mess as Satoru fucks your inner thighs faster, the plush of them slick from you and his own sticky pre, nails now pressing into his forearms. “Yours, yours…”

Satoru cries out, burying his face in your neck and inhaling your scent, before lifting your thigh, having you gasp. “I’m cummin’ inside, can’t waste any.”

“You freak,” you want it though, when he slams into your hole with ease from how wet you are, pumping your pussy full and pulsing inside you, gasping out your name. “What I can’t s-swallow either?”

“Not til you’re knocked – ah – up,” you feel so good he’s shaking, leaning his heavy weight and pressing you against the counter. “Mmm… then you can again, when I get you pregnant.”

“So generous,” you’re shaking when he pulls back, letting him turn you to him, cupping your face and kissing you deeply. “I’m nervous, Toru. How they’ll take this and… what, do we go get married immediately?”

“I have someone that can next week if you want, but yes… it’d have to be quickly, but I’ll give them some of my time as a CEO, to keep them happy enough. To protect you, okay?” You nod quickly, still shaky as he’s dripping out of you. “You focus on being pretty and pumped full of cum.”

Satoru is insane but god if you don’t fucking love him.

*****

“So, you two actually came,” his parents say that next week in their office, as Satoru shuts the door behind you, a hand on your waist. His parents had gone to Paris for a time thankfully, leaving you and Satoru with just enough time to let that marriage license go long enough.

Oh, and enough time for Satoru to knock you up.

Yep – you’re pregnant, but you think that he may have gotten you while you were still on the pill with the timing of it all.

Little shit was so happy – he even let you swallow his cum as a reward for being so good and breedable for him. The memories of just that had you pressing your thighs together. Keeping it all under wraps and acting normal was pure torture, but the stress of meeting with his imposing parents was enough to make your tummy flip, to turn into knots.

Yet he didn’t move his hand from your waist.

Satoru was serious, and in this case he was no young twenty two year old boy – he was a whole fucking man in a business suit in front of his parents, his lips quirking right up as he studies them. His dad in his big seat in the Dean’s office, his mom sitting on the desk with her legs crossed at the ankles.

“Hey pops, hey mom,” he greets all friendly, you almost snort just a bit. “Have a good time?”

“Looks like you sure did.”

“I did in fact,” his hand tugs you even closer, and your cheeks heat up, heart hammering in your chest. “I’ve been real busy these past couple weeks, actually. There’s so much to catch you all up on.”

“Oh really, I can see,” his dad says, annoyance dripping on his lips. “And just what is this spectacle, hmm? You want her career over? You want your trust fund to be-”

“That’s just the thing – you wrote this cute lil clause in there with your lawyer, if I’m married with an heir, I get it early,” his parents visibly pale.

Maybe they didn’t think Satoru was that insane.

But no, he is.

“So turns out…” He grins now. “Already got the heir on the way, and I’m getting married – don’t worry, it’s a private affair, no need to come.”

“Gojo are you-”

“Very, very serious,” he murmurs, his voice a low hum – not teasing, but also not letting his parents down him. And in that moment you’re even prouder of your clearly psychotic, borderline… fiance? You think he’s a fiance already, yes.

You are proud of him.

But you’re also terrified and overwhelmed, especially when his hand is right over your tummy, and their brows are raised.

Could it really all work out somehow?

Patreon - Comms <33

total and utter brats is what sukuna was used to. girls with a big ego and an ever bigger attitude, but you? his new, adorably sweet girlfriend? you were quite literally the polar opposite of a brat, and he was about to figure that out real quick. 

he stomps with heavy and angry footing into the apartment, he was pissed off, like, really pissed off. some ass fuck at the gym decided to get all up in his face over him accidentally leaving a few plates on the deadlift bar, (something he never usually did, his mind was just filled with other stressful life shit.) so he pulled a few punches and that was that. 

that asshole figured out quite fast that sukuna's massive muscles weren't just for show. 

he let out a groan of pure frustration and anger as he stepped further into the apartment dulling any sort of positivity that dare disturb his ridiculous state of mind. 

you’re too occupied pottering around the tiny off campus apartment in your cute little socks and pretty sweater to notice his foul mood just yet. singing some beabadoobee song quietly to yourself while trying to plate up the dinner you'd made just for him. 

kuna always comes home hungry after hitting the gym, especially arms, so you decide to give him something nice and warm for when he gets home, y'know, like the great and loving girl you are?

you're about to pour him a glass of ice water when you hear the door shut just a little too aggressively. 

you can't help but flinch, not because you’re scared, but because you know that kind of sound. it’s the sound people makes when they're exhausted, frustrated, not very happy with the world. you were used to this energy from others, but you were yet to experience it from your boyfriend.

you peek your head around the corner.

“hey, ryo.” you say in that soft, dainty voice he still hasn’t fully gotten used to. the one that normally made him melt into a puddle of gooey love and adoration, but right now all it does is remind him he’s tired and really agitated. “i got dinner all ready for you, love.”

he grunts, that’s it. a grunt. 

he chucks his duffle bag down on the couch, wipes his hand down his face and mutters something under his breath about 'fuckwits at the gym.' you try to ignore the obvious annoyance in his voice and shyly tiptoe back into the kitchen then bring him a pink plate full of dinner, holding it in both of your precious hands, offering it to him like a gift you'd made just to cheer him up. 

and then he decides to turn into the biggest dick face on the planet, too frustrated to be civil, apparently.

with no sort of preparation or hesitancy, he sharpens his deep red eyes at you and crosses his biceps over his chest.

“th' fucks this supposed to be?”

you stiffen up a lil. “it's… your dinner?”

you watch as his eyes fall darker and his fists clench. “what? you know i don’t eat before i shower. you put the whole thing together just to let it get cold?”

you'd never been talked to this carelessly by sukuna before... your eyes get the tiniest bit glossy, but you try to fight it off as best you can. “i… i thought you’d want it now because you always say you’re starving when you get back…” you whisper.

“yeah? well, today i’m not fucking hungry.” his voice rises in a way it never has with you. a way he used to talk to girls who’d scream right back at him, get in his face, throw something at the wall. “god, do you ever listen?”

"i- i'm sorry... i just thought-"

"wow? thinking for once? didn't know your dumb little head was capable of that." 

you could physically feel your throat pulling tight, it burned to breathe through his venomous insult.. 

“honestly, the last thing i need right now is some damn girl trying to play house with me after i've just worked my ass off all day, it's fucking annoying,” he shoots, beginning to pace, ignoring the way your face contorted into that adorable yet heart crushing pout. 

'some damn girl?...' was that all you were to him?..

he’s not looking at you. he’s talking at you, like you’re just another outlet for whatever’s eating at him. this big, loud, overwhelming presence filling your little apartment with his booming voice rising and rising with each word, and you can’t even process half the things he’s saying because your brain is doing that fuzzy weird panicy thing. you don’t know whether to get up or stay still or just disappear on the spot forever..

you're silently listening, but he just keeeeps on going.

"you think i want you shoving shit in my face the second i get home?! let me take a damn break for once in my life, woman!”

behind your ribcage you can feel the crack, crack, crack, of your heart with each piece falling into your stomach and smouldering into a thick ash, like you were an insignificant bug that wasn't worth this man's time. 

and it’s right there in the silence that something finally flickers in his stupidly ignorant brain.

because this is the part where someone should yell back, where someone should tell him to go fuck himself, or throw the plate down, or call him an asshole, or storm out. or anything!

you just stand there ever so sadly, you hold your arms around your body like they might save you from the stomach pains you'd suddenly gotten, the feeling of immense guilt for making him more angry than he already was. 

you're stuck staring down at the floor, your eyes feel hot and so full of tears as you gently whisper out the softest and heartfelt apology sukuna thinks he's ever heard in his fucked up life..

ryo's ready to yell something completely unnecessary and rude because he’s still riding the high of adrenaline from lifting too much and dealing with that asshole at the gym today. he’s still acting like he’s dealing with someone who’ll fight him tooth and nail, not his pretty little girl who's easier to rattle than a maraca.

your lashes flutter with wet tears and your pouty lip wobbles, you set the plate down carefully on the counter before your hands can shake too hard and it smashes on the floor.

and then you look up at him.

you look at him like you’re scared you'd messed up big time, like you’re scared you hurt him or made him upset in any way. like you’re scared he might walk away, abandon you. like all of this was your fault.

this is about where sukuna starts to feels like his heart had just been flipped over and fucked in the ass by a 6"3 rugby champ. 

he didn’t even know it was humanly possible for his chest to sink into the pits of fiery hell that fast. like, physically, his heart plummets to his feet. 

“sweetheart,” he says, but it’s too late. he can already see the tears filling up your eyes as you wrap your arms around yourself tighter than before, so small and so nervous.

“i... i’m really sorry,” you whisper again, voice cracking in that heart stabbing kind of way. “i didn’t mean to make you mad, i was just trying trying to help, i thought you’d be hungry and.. i'm so sorry, it won't happen again."

your voice cuts off as you wipe at your cheeks, embarrassed at the tears that keep falling so freely down your flushed cheeks.

and then, before he can even take a step toward you to console, you beat him to it.

you walk right up to his big, stupid, irritated self and gently wrap your arms around his waist, like you’re apologizing to him even though you didn’t do anything wrong. 

your cheek presses against his chest, soft and warm and trusting, yet still so small and scared..

all that rage and tension drains out so fast he actually gets lightheaded. he didn’t notice. god, he didn’t realise! he was yelling. at you. his pretty girl, his soft girl. 

the only girl he’s ever dated who doesn’t treat every fucking conversation like a competition. the girl who holds his hand with two hands because his palm is so big. the girl who apologises when someone bumps into her. the girl who triple checks she's not burdening someone before she starts speaking. the girl who’d never raise her voice at him, even if he deserved it.

you huff and puff in uneven spouts against his chest, softly like you’re giving him space to push you off if he wants to. you whisper again in a smaller voice than before.

“i’m sorry. i’m really sorry, ryo. i didn’t mean to ruin your day.”

he feels something sting horribly behind his eyes and he hates it, because he never cries. never. not for breakups, not for fights, not for injuries. but this? this is different. this is you. and realising he scared you or hurt you, even in some tiny emotional way, is making him physically ache with the pain of a thousand knifes stabbing his chest over and over and over..

“baby, no. no, no, no, you didn’t do anything wrong. i’m the one who’s being a fucking idiot. i shouldn’t have yelled. i shouldn’t have even raised my voice at you, baby.. shit.”

you can feel his biceps crushing you tighter. he’s huge and so warm, yet trembling in the tiniest way, like he’s holding himself together with the sheer willpower of not letting you see him too broken. 

you sniff against his pec, trying to steady yourself, because you’ve never heard him sound like this before, so guilty and worried.

his voice cracks, cracks as he tries to spew out another line of consolement, and when you blink up at him, there are salty tears at the corners of his eyes. massive, scary, ryomen sukuna falling apart while hugging you, a soft and quiet little thing.

you just shake your head against him, heavy little sobs shaking your shoulders. “i’m sorry i messed up. i’m sorry you had a bad day and i made it worse.”

oh he’s the worst man alive. actually the worst. he can feel it in his bones.

“baby…” his voice cracks again and he hates it but he can’t stop it. “you didn’t do anything wrong.”

you cling a little tighter, like you’re scared he’s gonna pull away. that alone almostmakes him sob hysterically on the spot.

your voice comes out all wobbly. “i just… i don’t want you to be mad at me.”

that’s the moment sukuna’s entire psyche caves in on itself and implodes indefinitely. 

“god, y/n,” he whispers. “i’m so, so sorry.”

the apartment goes still and quiet for a good minute before you can whisper out, “it’s okay...”

“no,” he says immediately,“ no, it’s not. i shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, sweetheart. i shouldn’t have said any of that. i just… i had a shitty day and i was being a dick. that’s on me. you didn’t make anything worse.”

“but you seemed so upset…”

“oh my love, not at you.” he swallows “never at you, baby. i swear.”

your fingers contract into the back of his muscle shirt, holding on so gently it rips at his fragile soul, though, your tears have almost stopped. 

he squeezes you harder, he’s not letting you go until he’s sure you're really okay.

“you’re… you’re really precious to me,” he whispers into your hair, the words tumbling out before he can stop them, way too honest for how he normally talks. “i don’t ever wanna scare you. i don’t ever wanna make you cry because of me.”

you move to peek up at him with those big watery eyes, and he absolutely breaks down for the fourth time that night. he feels the liquid in his own eyes and tries to blink it away, but nope. a tear slips down anyway.

your breath catches. “ryo…? d-did i make you upset?- i'm so sorry!”

he shakes his head quickly, gripping the back of your head as he tucks you back under his chin. “you didn't do anything, y/n. just don’t look at me right now,” he mutters. “just… let me hold you.”

you mumble a quick “okay.”

your gentle response calms him more than anything else ever has.

his arms slip under your thighs and your back in one careful swoop, lifting you off the floor like you weigh less than air, because to a colossal guy like kuna, you do. 

you let out a noise of surprise and curl into his arms on instinct, holding onto his shirt as he carries you through the little apartment, the whole 9 yards of princess treatment.

“cmon angel,” he mumbles against your forehead in a sweet kiss, “let’s get you in bed.”

he pushes the bedroom door open with his foot and stands next to the bed, lowering you onto the mattress as gently as he possibly can. the second your back hits the sheets he reaches for the blanket and tucks it around you so fast and frantic you almost giggle. he’s acting like he's scared you’re gonna get cold or crumble into star dust if he doesn’t wrap you up right this second.

“stay here, sweetheart,” he says while brushing the pad of his thumb across your cheek. “i’m gonna eat your dinner real quick and shower and then i’m coming right back. don’t move.”

you nod with your body engulfed under the blankets, and he gives you one last kiss on the cheek before heading back out.

it’s almost funny how different the apartment sounds now, he’s trying to be quiet. him. the guy built like a tank who normally stomps around like godzilla. you hear the plate clink, hear the microwave door shut, hear him crushing to himself like he’s scolding his own reflection, which he should be. then you hear the shower switch on, and everything is chaotic as if he’s racing against some imaginary clock because you’re alone in the bed for more than five minutes and that simply will not do for sukuna.

you hear the bathroom door whip open.

he’s back in seconds with his salmon hair damp and a white tank top thrown on crooked, water still beaded on his fair skin because he didn’t even bother drying properly. he climbs onto the bed quickly, grabbing you like he needs to feel you to be happy and content with his life.

your back hits his chest as he pulls you right onto his lap and you can just tell he's feeling possessive and territorial.

“hey baby.. are you okay?”

you nod softly, but he shushes you anyway.

“it’s alright,” he smiles, kissing the side of your neck. “you don’t gotta say anything. i got you.”

his hand rubs little circles over your hip bones with the other sliding up to hold your jaw with this gentle care no one would ever believe he’s capable of, ever. your tears dried a long while ago, but he still treats you like you’re a precious gem. he rocks you a little in his lap, soothing you like it’s instinct.

“you’re so beautiful, yknow that?” he whispers suddenly, voice hushed like he’s telling you a secret not meant for the rest of the world. “so damn beautiful and sweet and good. you’re… y/n, you’re so perfect.”

you feel your cheeks heat up and he smiles against your skin, just barely.

“i mean it,” he says again, burying his face into your shoulder. “you’re precious to me, baby. so precious i don’t even know what to do with myself sometimes.”

you lean back into him a little more and your hands settle over his wrists. he squeezes you immediately like he’s scared he imagined the whole thing and he might be in some lucid dream still yelling at you.

his voice drops even lower, so soft you almost miss it.

“you’re it for me,” he murmurs. “you hear me? you’re it. i’m done with dating. i’m yours for the rest of my damn life.”

you blush deeply and hide your face in your hands at how bold he's being. 

“i’m never talking to you like that again,” he says quietly. “never yelling. never making you cry. i’m not losing you because i don’t know how to deal with my dumbass moods. you’re too important to me.”

your fingers slide over his hand, giving it the cutest squeeze and he just melts behind you. melts completely with his chest going all gooey and soft. 

“you’re my girl,” he whispers against the shell of your ear. “forever, or for as long as you’ll have me, baby."

he rocks you gently again, humming in his throat while his hands smooth and stroke over you like he’s memorising the shape of you.

he presses one last kiss to your cheek.

“sleep, angel,” he breathes. “i’m not going anywhere.”

sukuna was used to dating brats, the ones who threw tantrums and screamed like banshees in his face, but now he had you. and he knew in his heart that this whole time he was missing out on the pure bliss that was a calm and sweet relationship, with you. 

never in his life had sukuna shed a tear over a girl, but tonight he did. he let a few slip because he couldn't handle the thought of making precious little you feel any sort of negative emotion, and he wasn't even trying to hide it. that how much you meant to sukuna, how soft you'd turned him.

and he was damn well never going back.

I am not the owner, all work belongs to sixxels(deactivated)

sukuna had been fighting since he was fifteen and filled with a rage even he couldn’t understand. 

toji found him bloody outside a convenience store after some older guys tried jumping him for gambling money. 

it was clear they didn’t get the money but sukuna took that fire in his gaze out on them. 

sukuna still recalled the way toji looked down at him, droplets cascading down his sharp features and dark hair, damp cigarette hanging from his mouth while blood dripped steadily from sukuna’s split brow. 

“you fight like an animal,” toji began, taking a drag of his fading cig before tilting his head at the salmon haired boy, “what if i told you that you could beat the shit out of guys every day and get paid for it?” 

a fucking dream is what that was. he gets to utilize his anger and he could finally get out of his father’s house. 

how could sukuna even say no? 

somehow, it turned into this. 

years later, ryomen sukuna had become the name whispered through underground rings across the city. not because he was the biggest or the strongest, but because he was cruel. 

there was something deeply unsettling about the way sukuna fought. 

controlled, almost lazy sometimes. like violence came so naturally to him that he didn’t even need to think about it. 

people feared men who fought emotionally. 

they feared ryomen sukuna more because he never did. 

most nights, he fought beneath screaming neon lights while crowds chanted his name loud enough to shake the walls. 

they bet on him like he was a sure thing and fuck, did he get a shitload of money from it. 

he’d leave each night, beaten and bruised with a duffel of cash hanging off his shoulder.

he was living the dream.

that was until he arrived home, in his apartment downtown, and sat in silence while somebody else’s emotions bled quietly into his chest. 

a girl he’d never met yet somehow knew like the back of his hand, all too intimately. 

he knew she liked coffee because of the bursts of energy he’d feel during mornings where he usually slept in because his fights usually carried into the night. 

he knew she did yoga often because his muscles weren’t as sore as they would get when he was younger and god knows it wasn’t his doing. he didn’t stretch nearly as much as toji nagged at him to. 

he also knew that she despised him. 

that one was obvious. 

their bond always sharpened after his fights. her irritation sat bright and hot beneath his ribs every time he came home bruised and bloody. 

sometimes he couldn’t differentiate between his own rage and hers. 

maybe they were more alike than he thought. 

truthfully, sukuna didn’t know how to do things any differently and frankly, he didn’t care enough to. 

he hated this whole soulmates shit. why would the universe ever pair two people together with the utmost certainty that they were perfect for each other?

and what fucking masacre did this girl commit to be bonded with him of all people? 

violence was the only thing sukuna had ever been good at and he wouldn’t change that for anyone, especially some girl who was almost a mere figment of his imagination. 

he did that sometimes. pretended that he was a non-existent and that he was merely hallucinating her. 

non-existents made up a very small part of the population and they were essentially humans who didn’t have soulmates. like toji was. 

lucky bastard. 

sometimes sukuna believed toji was lying because he’d get this distant look on his face some days, kind of like himself when he felt his own soulmate torment him. 

so maybe he was a late bloomer? 

either way, he was in a better situation than sukuna was. 

“your girl’s pissed again?” toji commented dryly from where he leaned against the boxing ring ropes, head tilted with a knowingness sukuna hated. 

toji was the one sukuna had to confide in because who else did he have? 

when he was overwhelmed as a young teenager about his soulmate, toji would be the one he would reluctantly go to. the older man had taken him under his wing, so yes, he did trust him more than anyone. 

he also knew that toji cared about him in his own fucked up way. 

sukuna’s knuckles ached tonight, phantom annoyance curling beneath his skin that didn’t belong to him. it was her. 

probably studying somewhere in the city while silently wishing death upon him. 

the thought almost made him grin. 

throughout the years, pissing her off became a hobby of some sort, though he knew she didn’t find it nearly as amusing as he did. 

“at least you know she’s got personality.” toji stated once more as sukuna finally stopped punching and turned to shoot the man a glare. 

“shut the fuck up.”

toji huffed out a laugh, “god help you both when you finally meet.”

the thought made sukuna freeze momentarily. 

it was almost sad. 

usually, at least from what sukuna knew, people usually couldn’t wait to meet their soulmates. 

then there was sukuna, filled with dread at the mere idea. 

sukuna hated even talking about the bond. 

he hated how aware he was of her. 

because despite everything, the distance and never seeing her to begin with, she felt woven into him already, like a haunting. 

some nights, when his insomnia clawed violently at his nerves after fights, he’d feel her wrap her arms around herself beneath warm blankets god knows where. 

and sleep came easier those nights. 

he couldn’t explain it and truthfully, he didn’t like to think about it. 

he hated talking about her because the truth was ugly. 

that he didn’t particularly hate her. which is exactly why he knew meeting her would ruin everything. 

naturally, his solution was to sabotage everything which is why he started to sleep around with non-existents whenever he got the chance. 

and he knew what it did to her. 

good. he hoped it made her despise him enough to never want anything to do with him, whether they meet now or twenty years down the line. 

sukuna didn’t want anything to do with her. 

∞

you hated downtown on friday nights. 

it was always too loud and all too crowded. 

neon signs bled into rain-slick streets while bass-heavy music spilled from every open doorway along the block. 

girls stumbled across sidewalks in tiny dresses and tall heels, drunken laughter cutting through the humid summer night air while taxis lined the streets endlessly. 

the city looked beautiful after dark, but you still wanted to be everywhere but here. 

“stop looking at people with that judgy look of yours.” shoko muttered beside you, nudging your shoulder lightly as the three of you crossed the street.

“i’m not judging, i’m just looking around…” you defended with a huff as you hugged yourself protectively, little kitten heels clicking against the pavement. 

“you are judging,” utahime confirmed, “it’s your classic disgusted and glare-ey look.” 

“well excuse me, you’re the ones who brought me to crackhead-ville.” you glared at the two girls as shoko rolled her eeys before hooking her arm through yours anyway. 

she pulled you towards the entrance of yet another overcrowded building downtown.

apparently, tonight’s party was being held somewhere above an abandoned old bar. or beneath it. 

either way, something you found entirely too ominous but you were too distracted when shoko was explaining to actually disagree. 

your soulmate had spent the entire evening restless beneath your skin. not angry but worse. 

aware. 

you felt him constantly tonight. 

a steady pulse of adrenaline humming through your bloodstream that didn’t belong to you. 

your chest had felt tight since leaving the penthouse, some strange tension settling low in your stomach like your body was anticipating something before your mind could catch up.

it was unsettling. 

you blamed the lack of sleep, or rather, you blamed him. you blamed him for it all. 

“ew, ew…” you muttered as shoko pulled you through the door into what you could only describe as chaos. 

warmth and noise hit you instantly. 

bodies crowded wall to wall beneath flashing lights while music shook violently through the floorboards. 

cigarette smoke lingered in the air despite the open windows somewhere deeper inside the space. 

you physically recoiled. 

“oh my god,” utahime muttered beside you, laughing softly at the expression painting your features, “you look horrified.” 

“i am horrified!” 

shoko snorted, “rich kids.” 

you threw her a glare before the three of you squeezed through the crowd until you reached a quieter section tucked near the back of the room. 

a curved leather couch sat half-empty beneath dim red lights, thankfully far enough from the speakers that your skull stopped vibrating the second you sat down. 

you exhaled deeply, chest deflating as you blinked up at your friends who were looking at you with amusement. 

“drinks?” utahime questioned as shoko nodded eagerly while you merely hummed, shoulders tense as you gazed around the sea of bodies. 

utahime disappeared toward the bar while shoko took a seat beside you, the leather beneath you sticky in a way that had you shuddering, sitting at the very edge of the couch. 

fuck, you hated this and you couldn’t explain why. 

yes, you hated parties in general but you just felt wrong. 

“you’re being weird tonight.” shoko observed, eyes narrowed on your tense figure. 

you frowned faintly, “i know…i feel weird.”

your skin felt like it was buzzing, chest vibrating in a way it usually wasn’t. 

it wasn’t necessarily bad, but simply off. 

you felt your soulmate more than ever tonight, you were almost hyperaware. 

he felt electric. 

every emotion coming from him felt sharper somehow, close enough that you could almost mistake them for your own. 

your pulse kept jumping for no reason. 

fuck, you hated this. 

“is it devils dick?” shoko casually asked as your eyes closed momentarily. 

how would you explain that it was both yes and no. 

yes, the bond felt different tonight. 

but no, it wasn’t muscle aches or phantom pain you were feeling on his end, though you didn't want to speak too soon. 

it was a friday after all. friday nights usually meant bruised ribs by saturday morning. 

“oh my god, guys!” hime stood before you, handing shoko her drink before placing a water bottle in your hand, “everyone’s saying gojo and his crew are gonna be here!” 

your eyes rolled gently, very much aware of utahime’s obsession with those random illegitimate fighters. 

underground fights happened constantly throughout the city. 

illegal betting rings buried beneath clubs and abandoned buildings, violent enough that respectable people pretended they didn’t exist despite everyone secretly knowing otherwise. 

your father even told you how known politicians and well known figures even placed bets they hid from the public.  

and lately, there was one name that everyone kept talking about-

“do you think sukuna would show up?” shoko questioned, eyes wide with excitement, taking a sip of her cherry vodka as you looked between the two girls. 

ryomen sukuna. 

you’d heard it constantly from utahime the past few months. 

uathime, shoko, sora and percy often went on double dates to these underground fights you had zero interest in. 

you were very much used to fifth wheeling alongside your friends, that wasn’t the issue. the issue was rooted in the prospect of spending the night in a filthy underground boxing ring riddled with people and violence alike. yuck. 

still, amongst all the fighters utahime gushed about, ryomen sukuna seemed to be the most known. 

the undefeated underground fighter with pink hair and a snake tattoo across his shoulders and collarbones. 

people were terrified of him just as equally as they were obsessed with him. 

“percy says sukuna knocked his opponent unconscious in under thirty seconds last week!” shoko stated, taking another sip as utahime nodded frantically. 

“he’s insane!” utahime gushed, “like, gojo is obviously a show off and just cares about the clout he gets but sukuna? he’s terrifying…”

utahime continued, you were sure. you could see her mouth moving but you didn’t-couldn’t register the words she'd uttered. 

the world around you turned hazy, just enough to feel like everything slowed in a way that definitely wasn’t normal. 

your heartbeat stopped, not metaphorically, but physically. 

a sharp wave of adrenaline crashed violently into your chest hard enough to steal the breath straight from your lungs. 

you went still, every muscle in your body tightening instinctively. 

you could see both of the girls leaning towards you, brows furrowed in concern, mouths moving and uttering words you knew were dipped in concern. you couldn’t hear any of it. 

you swallowed hard, eyes darting up and around you, as if a siren was luring you towards the crowd, come to me, come, come. 

fuck, were you drugged or something?

your heartbeat stuttered painfully beneath your ribs, once, twice then again. 

you felt like you’d been dropped underwater while everyone else remained above the surface. 

the bond felt raw and entirely too overwhelming.

it felt like standing at the edge of something life-altering, like your soul had recognized something before your mind could catch up to it. 

for the first time since you’d first felt your soulmate, he didn’t feel far away. 

you had grown used to the idea of him, something intangible and not truly real. 

merely a ghost haunting the edges of your nervous system, phantom bruises in the middle of lectures and an adrenaline rush at three in the morning. 

he was the deep-seated exhaustion that riddled your body but didn’t belong to you. 

but this felt real. close enough to touch. 

the sensation crawled slowly beneath your skin, winding around your ribs like invisible string being pulled tighter and tighter and tighter until you thought you might choke on it. 

the realization hit your bloodstream like a drug. 

he was here, you knew it. you could feel it in your bones. 

your eyes darted towards the door that had swung open, summer air rushing inside alongside four figures dressed almost entirely in black. 

the first thing you noticed was height. 

they all carried themselves with the same dangerous sort of confidence, the kind that came from men who had never truly feared consequences before. 

one of them had snowy white locks, the tallest of the bunch, bright enough to catch beneath the flashing lights, sunglasses balanced lazily across his nose despite the fact that it was nearly midnight. 

another stood beside him, quieter with shoulder length black locks with stretched gauges in his ears and sharp eyes that swept across the room once before settling into bored indifference.

the third one was shorter than the rest but still tall, black locks in two spiked buns with a joint resting between plump pink lips, eyes hooded in a way that exposed that joint not being his first of the night.

they were all attractive in a way that felt almost unfair and dangerous. 

people moved out of their path without being asked. 

your eyes turned to the one trailing just a step behind them and your breath caught so violently, it hurt. 

the salmon colored locks gave him away. 

ryomen sukuna. 

tattoos curled dark against tan skin disappearing beneath the collar of a black shirt that stretched across broad shoulders. 

even from where you stood, you could see the dried blood and bruises across his knuckles. 

he looked nothing like what you’d imagined from shoko’s descriptions. 

and simultaneously, exactly like it too. 

something deep inside you snapped taut, your stomach dropping. 

you could tell he was dazed too, jaw locked and eyes blinking at a slow pace, eyes looking around the sea of bodies. 

the soulmate bond surged so hard beneath your ribs, you physically recoiled, fingers gripping the edge of the leather couch. 

oh god. no, no, no.

oh my god…

“oh my god,” utahime whispered beside you, though unlike you, she sounded impressed rather than horrified. 

shoko looked moments away from passing out entirely. 

“that’s him!” she breathed out quietly. 

you couldn’t answer, breath stilling and hands trembling. 

because sukuna had stopped walking.

fuck, the realization came slowly enough to feel cruel. 

maroon eyes met your own and the room around you dissolved entirely. the music became muffled noise, lights blurring and the crowd disappeared.

all you could see was him. him. him. him. 

he was all you could see, feel and you knew all he could see was you. 

sukuna felt it the second he stepped through the doorway. 

you. 

the bond snapped violently alive beneath his skin hard enough that his entire body locked for half a second mid-step. 

he almost thought someone had drugged him until he remembered he hadn’t even drank anything yet. 

then what was this feeling? 

his eyes locked on yours and he felt the most alive he’d felt in his life.

something even the ring and the violence couldn't offer. 

there you were, all too pretty and wide eyed. 

he barely heard gojo speak beside him anymore, the lanky man rambling on about some idiot from last week’s fight who apparently called him out on twitter after. 

sukuna ignored him completely because across the room sat a girl staring at him like she’d seen a ghost. 

and in some ways, he was your ghost. 

he haunted you and lived under your skin in ways he was sure you didn’t appreciate in the slightest. 

his soulmate. 

years of phantom feelings crashed together all at once so violently, it almost made him sick. 

because the realization hit him harder than he’d anticipated and yes, he had anticipated this. 

the moment he’d meet his soulmate. 

well, he dreaded more than anticipated it. 

it hit him hard because he realized that he knew this girl. 

sukuna had never met you, yet, he bet he knew you more than the two girls hovering over you. more than fucking anyone. 

you were the girl whose stress bled into his bones during finals week, the girl who wrapped her arms around herself at night and somehow lulled him to sleep from miles away. 

you were real. 

and you looked soft. 

that was the first thing he took note of. 

soft skin, soft wide eyes, soft pink shimmery gloss coating your plush lips he recognized only through phantom warmth he’d felt against his own skin before. 

his soulmate was a pretty little thing, so pretty it almost made his chest ache. in your tiny skirt and halter top.

far too fucking pretty to belong anywhere near him. 

“sukuna?” 

choso’s voice cut through the haze faintly and sukuna snapped out of it, gaze finally leaving hers to glance at his friend who tilted his head towards the other side of the room. 

sukuna resisted the urge to glance at you as he made his way across the room.

fuck, fuck, fuck! 

this couldn’t be happening, this was a fucking nightmare. 

just as he made it across the room, he felt it. 

warm fingertips brushing his own skin despite his hands at his sides. 

his pulse stuttered once. 

his gaze snapped to yours once more and your eyes widened instantly when you noticed his hand drift to his neck where your own hand was resting. 

slowly and carefully, sukuna lifted his own hand. 

his fingers brushed lightly against the side of his jaw, a barely there touch. 

yet, across the room, your breath hitched sharply as warmth bloomed against your own jawline seconds later. 

not imagined or coincidence. it was all real, so so real. 

your stomach twisted violently. 

oh no. no no no no. 

shoko was gazing at you, “what’s wrong?!” 

you couldn’t answer, eyes stuck on a pair of crimson that held you hostage.

her eyes narrowed as both her and utahime followed your gaze before catching sukuna’s eyes on you. 

then they both looked between you both a total of five times before realization hit. 

“wait,” shoko whispered harshly, hand shooting out to grip your arm, “WAIT.”

utahime’s jaw physically fell open, “holy shit…”

your heartbeat pounded so violently, you thought you might faint right then and there beneath the flashing red lights.

what you despised most is that it made sense. 

of course it was him. a violent and dangerous underground fighter, fuck, that explained everything so perfectly.

if fate was a person, you’d have her by the neck right now. 

because sukuna was still staring at you, as if he knew you already and perhaps, he did. 

then horrifyingly, he smirked. 

and suddenly, you understood exactly why the entire city feared ryomen sukuna. 

sukuna moved before he could really think about it, jaw clenched but determined.

one second he stood on the other side of the room and the next, his body was already weaving through the crowd toward you like the bond itself had wrapped invisible fingers around his spine and dragged him to you. you. his soulmate. 

people moved instantly to let him pass. 

you took note of that immediately. 

you noticed the way conversations died around him, the way bodies shifted out of his path and nobody dared touch him, even accidentally. 

it was fear, you realized. people feared him. 

the recognition made your stomach twist. 

“oh my god,” shoko whispered harshly beside you, nails digging into your arm, “he’s coming over here!” 

“i can see that.” you hissed back faintly, though your voice barely sounded like your own. 

fuck, you should leave. you should absolutely leave. 

except, you couldn’t move, body drilled to where you sat, frozen in place while ryomen fucking sukuna rossed the room toward you like some predator chasing prey. 

closer and closer and closer. 

until suddenly, all his 6’4 glory was towering above you. 

your breath caught embarrassingly hard. 

up close, he was worse. 

taller than you’d imagined and broader too. 

there were faint bruises scattered along his jawline beneath the dim lights, on the very spot that you woke up feeling sore. fresh cuts healed across his knuckles. 

and his eyes, god, they looked at you with the same recognition burning through your own chest. 

sukuna looked down at you for a moment too long. 

fuck, you were even more ethereal up close. 

that thought hit him first and annoyingly hardest. 

his pretty little soulmate sitting curled into the edge of a leather couch looking at him with wide doe eyes, almost expectantly with a mix of fear and restraint. 

“hey.” 

his voice slid down your spine like smoke. 

low, dangerous and rough in a way even your mind couldn’t conjure up.

fuck, was this really happening?

your throat tightened instantly, “hi.”

the word left you horrifyingly softer than you’d intended and sukuna’s lips twitched at the sound. 

your voice was his favorite sound, instantly. 

“um,” shoko hummed, eyes wide as she shared a glance with utahime, “we’ll give you two a second.”

you almost wanted to yell in protest, but the two girls were already shuffling away, shooting you encouraging looks. 

as you glanced up at the dangerous man once more, you felt your heart still in a way you hadn’t ever felt before. 

not in fear or apprehension but calm. 

he made you feel calm, your body stilling and quieting in a way you hadn’t expected. 

regretfully, fuck, you despised it, but when that gentleness overcame you and you looked up at him…

his disheveled pink locks, his handsome rugged features and his dark eyes, all of it was him. 

and you felt stupid for trying to deny that this man was your soulmate. 

who else would it be? 

“i’m sukuna,” he stated lowly, moving to take a seat beside you, leaving an appreciative distance between you, “ryomen sukuna.” 

your name left you softly with a nod. 

as you gazed at each other, the same realization overcame you both. 

even with barely an introduction, you knew each other. 

while sukuna had only fond memories of what you’d done for him, your mind was riddled with poisonous ones. 

this was the man who often trained in the middle of the night, filling you with soreness and a rush of adrenaline that left you sleepless most nights. 

he was the one who fucked other girls knowing what that put you through. 

your heart clenched. 

beyond all those things, he was the one who hugged himself to sleep after that one night of utter hell. 

he was the one who held a hot water bottle to his stomach when your cramps left you nauseated and pained in bed. 

as much as you wanted to forget those things, to snap yourself out of the sad patheticness that riddled you, how could you?

how could you when those were the only memories that kept your hope that he wasn’t a total monster alive?

your eyes travelled along his bloodied knuckles, “you get those a lot.” 

sukuna’s fists instinctively clenched at the attention.

“and you burn yourself with whatever you do your hair with at least twice a week.”

your eyes widened instantly. 

“and you get punched like every other day!” 

sukuna’s mouth twitched and you hated how your eyes drifted towards the movement and your heart stuttered. 

“barely.” sukuna stated cooly, a small smirk painting his features. 

your eyes drifted toward him again before you could stop yourself. 

and then you remembered. 

every phantom feeling, every sleepless night and every ache.

all attached to him. 

the violence, the pain, the girls. 

your jaw tightened, "you’re not exactly the best person to be connected to, you know.” 

sukuna’s expression didn’t shift much, still cool, but you felt it. the hollow drop in your stomach that wasn’t yours. guilt. 

real and immediate, it almost made you laugh in disbelief. 

of course he felt guilty, he had to know he was a fucking nightmare. 

sukuna leaned back slightly, jaw working once as his gaze flickered away from yours for half a second, “yeah, i bet.” 

your brows lifted, “that’s it?” 

his eyes returned to yours, low and indifferent. 

you scoffed, anger bubbling up so quickly, it nearly startled you, “that’s all you have to say?” 

sukuna let out a breath through his nose, “what do you want me to say?”

“oh, i don’t know,” you let out a sharp little laugh that held not an ounce of humor, “maybe sorry would be a good place to start?!” 

sukuna’s head tilted, “sorry.” 

you stared at him in utter disbelief before a laugh left you once more, this time softer and dripped in something worse than anger, “wow…” 

sukuna’s eyes borrowed, “what?” 

“you’re unbelievable is what!” 

“you asked for sorry.” 

“not like that!” you nsapped, voice rising just enough to have your cheeks flushing, “not like you’re apologizing for stepping on my shoe!”

his expression hardened slightly and you felt it immediately, the irritation beginning to curl beneath his skin. 

ugh, you hated how the closeness made both your emotions so heightened. 

though, you hoped he could feel your rage. 

"an apology isn't gonna change shit. won't make y'feel better either."

his words enraged you even more.

“you have no idea what you put me through,” you continued, voice trembling despite you rbest efforts, “none.” 

sukuna’s gaze darkened, “don’t do that.”

“do what?” 

“act like i wasn’t there too.” 

you blinked at him, something hot and ugly twisting in your chest. 

was he for real? 

“you were there?” you repeated quietly, “you were there?” 

his jaw clenched, “don’t-”

“no, please,” you leaned forward slightly, anger sharpening every word, “explain it to me. because to my knowledge, you were the one making my life miserable while i was the one trying to keep us both sane!”

sukuna looked at you for a long moment, jaw clenching and unclenching. the lights washed over his face in flashes of red, making him look even more unreal than he already did. 

“you think i wanted this?” he stated more than asked and your heart clenched. 

hurt shot through you, your eyes growing glassy against your will because you knew he wasn’t referring to the pain he’d put you through. 

he meant the soulmate thing in general, fate as a whole. 

he didn’t want you.

you bit the inside of your cheek, willing your tears to stay in your eyes before breathing out, “no. but neither did i.” 

silence settled between you then, not peaceful but loaded. 

sukuna could physically feel your hurt and his eyes dropped briefly to your hands where they trembled in your lap. 

your fingers curled instantly, too proud as you hid the movement. 

it was too late. he’d seen it. 

even worse, he’d felt it.

“i didn’t know.” he stated lowly and you froze. 

your eyes flickered up, “what?” 

his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek, expression unreadable. 

“at first,” he clarified, “i didn’t know what it did to you.” 

your chest tightening, knowing what he was referring to and his words didn’t soothe you in the slightest. 

“and after?” 

in fact, it made it all worse. 

especially as he said nothing. 

your face fell slightly, all the anger in you cooling into something quieter and melancholic. 

“after, you knew.” 

his gaze remained on you as his fingers flexed once against his thigh, “yeah, i knew.” 

your eyes burned and you hated yourself for it. you hated that it still hurt despite knowing already, you hated that hearing him say it aloud made it real in a way the bond never had. 

“why?” you asked, the one word absolutely humiliating as much as it was devastating. 

sukuna looked away first and somehow, that hurt too, “because it was easier.” 

your lips parted faintly, “easier?” 

he lout out a grunt, “if you hated me, you wouldn’t look for me.” 

the words settled between you like something deadly. 

for a second, you genuinely couldn’t speak. 

then you did, “that is the stupidest, shittiest thing i’ve ever heard.” 

hsi eyes snapped back to yours, scowling, “careful.” 

“oh, fuck you!” you hissed lowly, “you don’t get to do that! you don’t get to hurt me on purpose and then act like it was some noble sacrifice.” 

his jaw tightened, “it wasn’t noble.” 

“yeah, no shit.” 

“it was necessary.” 

you laughed once, incredulous, “necessary? well, congrats, you got what you wanted, i absolutely fucking despise you.” 

sukuna’s jaw clenched, eyes glaring at you, “good. because you don’t know shit about me, this saves us both the hassle.”

“i don’t know you?” you shot back, “i know you more than anyone, probably. i know your body hurts more often than they don’t. i know you clench your jaw when you’re mad. i know you can’t sleep because of your nightmares and unless somebody practcially forces your nervous system to shut down, you could go days without it. i know you’re so angry at the fucking world, it makes you so hateful.”

sukuna went still, too still. 

you swallowed hard, eyes burning once more, “and i know that for years, i was the one cleaning up the damage you left behind.” 

his eyes darkened, “cleaning up?” 

“yes,” your voice cracked despite yourself, “me. i was the one hugging myself to sleep because you wouldn’t. i was the one stretching every morning because your body always felt like fucking concrete. i was the one coloring like a goddamn toddler at three in the morning because it was the only thing that made your anger stop choking me!” 

sukuna said nothing and you hated that even more. 

you wanted him to argue back, to answer, to fucking care. 

“do you know how pathetic that feels?” you whispered, “taking care of someone who kept hurting me?” 

his expression shifted, barely, but you felt it again. 

the guilt, even deeper this time. 

sukuna looked at you like he wanted to say something cruel and couldn’t quite manage it, settling with, “you didn’t have to do all that.” 

your laugh came out watery, tears now trickling down your heated cheeks. 

fuck, you felt nauseous, you felt so fucking sick. 

“yeah, i know that now.” 

something passed across his face then, a flicker of pain so quick, you almost missed it. 

but the bond didn’t allow you to miss anything. you felt it bloom in your own chest, sharp and unwanted. his. 

for one terrible second, you almost let it soften you. 

almost. 

because there it was again. 

that tiny, stupid sliver of hope you’d spend years nurturing because it was the only thing that kept you mildly sane. 

the one that whispered that maybe he wasn't all cruelty. maybe there was something beneath all that violence and pain. 

maybe the boy who held a hot water bottle to his stomach when your cramps got bad had to exist somewhere inside the man sitting in front of you. 

you looked at him then, through your blurry vision, really and truly looked. 

the hard line of his jaw, the coldness in his eyes and the casual arrogance sitting across his shoulders like armor. 

and that hope crumbled quietly inside your chest. 

not dramatically or all at once, but piece by piece, like something old finally accepting it had been dead for a long time. 

utter disappointment filled you then. you should have known better. 

this shouldn't be surprising. 

sukuna had spent years telling you exactly who he was, painting you the worst image of himself and you had hoped it was just that. 

the worst of himself. 

except the worst was all of him. 

sukuna was cruel. not because he didn’t know better but because he did. 

because he’d known what hurt you and decided hurting you was easier than wanting you. 

you swallowed around the ache in your throat, suddenly exhausted in a way a thousand years of sleep couldn’t fix. 

all you wanted was to be home now, cuddled up with ani in your room alone. 

“right,” you whispered, nodding once to yourself. 

sukuna’s brows pulled together slightly, “right what?” 

you pushed yourself to your feet, smoothing trembling hands over the front of your skirt because you needed something to do. anything that didn’t involve looking at him. 

“this was enlightening.” 

his eyes narrowed, “sit down.” 

the command sparked something sharp beneath your ribs, the thorn twisting in your heart. 

you let out a hollow laugh, “fuck you.” 

his jaw flexed, “don’t make a scene.” 

your name left him then and you hated the way your stomach fluttered at the melody of it in his voice. 

fuck, your heart hurt. 

because he was your soulmate. yours.

because some sick, twisted part of you had expected the universe to redeem itself when you finally found him. 

you expected the first moment to feel like every story you’d grown up hearing, witnessed amongst your friends. 

warmth, recognition and relief. 

instead, you were standing in front of the man who had turned your body into a battlefield and your heart into collateral damage. 

“i hope i never see you again.” 

something flickered across his face then and you didn’t stay long enough to decipher it. 

you turned around, the crowd swallowing you almost immediately as you walked away. 

music slammed back into your skull, bodies pressing close as you pushed through them with shaking hands and blurred vision. 

your chest felt too tight, lungs too small for the oxygen your body ached for. 

behind you, you felt sukuna rise before you saw it. the immediate pull.

his presence growing closer and your heart stuttered stupidly. 

some miserable, pathetic part of you sparked alive at the thought before you could kill it. 

maybe he did care. 

maybe he was going to take back all the words he regretted, that he would stop you and apologize properly this time. 

he would say what you’ve been waiting years to feel. 

the thought was so humiliating, it almost made you sick. 

“fuck are you lookin’ at?!” 

you heard his voice aimed at the crowd of people that were watching you both, probably since your conversation on the couch. 

you shoved through the door and stepped into the narrow hallway outside the main room, the music muffling instantly behind you. 

the air was cooler here, damp with rain and cigarette smoke, blue neon bleeding through the cracked windows at the end of the corridor.

you took in a breath like you hadn’t breathed in days, eyes shutting as your heart hammered against your chest, trying to simply process everything that had taken place. 

“hey.” his voice followed you out and you froze, heart stilling. 

stupid, traitorous thing. 

you turned slowly, eyes fluttering open. 

sukuna stood a few feet away, tall and shadowed beneath the hallway light. 

away from the party, he seemed even more dangerous. less like a person and more like a warning your body had spent seven years failing to understand. 

he was an enigma. 

for one breath, neither of you spoke. 

your hope stood there too, fragile and shaking, fucking pitiful. 

waiting. 

sukuna’s gaze dragged over your face once, catching on the wetness beneath your eyes and his expression tightened faintly. 

say it, you thought bitterly. 

say sorry! say you didn’t mean it! 

say something!

his jaw worked once, “no one can know.” 

your brows furrowed, the hope dying cleanly. 

“excuse me?” 

sukuna stepped closer, voice lower now. 

his mouth opened to clarify when his gaze met your own once more. 

your wide glassy eyes. your pretty face that was streaked with tears, your plump bitten lips. 

the little sniffles that left you, making his ribs ache. 

and suddenly, he froze, the words stuck in his throat. 

fuck, he had to get it together. 

“about this.” 

your lips parted faintly, “about us?”

the word us felt absolutely pathetic in your mouth. 

all too soft and hopeful. undeserved, even. 

something in his eyes shifted at the sound of it but it was gone before you could hold onto it. 

“there is no us.” 

oh. you actually felt that one. 

not through the bond, nor as some phantom ache borrowed from him. 

the pain was yours, all yours. 

you laughed once, quiet and disbelieving as you took a small step back, “wow…”

sukuna followed you, taking one step forward as his jaw clenched, “listen to me-” 

“no,” you shook your head slowly, voice trembling, “no, i think i understand perfectly.” 

sukuna’s eyes darkened, “you really don’t.” 

“oh my god,” you shook your head, “i can’t believe i thought-” 

you stopped, humiliation burning up your throat. 

sukuna stared, taking a step closer, his chest now brushing your chin, “thought what?” 

his voice was almost desperate and you swallowed, blinking hard, “nothing.” 

his face tightened and he felt it anyway, of course he did. 

the hope and hurt. 

the fact that some tiny, unbearable part of you had wanted him to come after you because he simply couldn’t let you leave. 

sukuna looked away first as you took a step back. fucking coward. 

“it’s dangerous.” he stated as you stared at the side of his face.

“dangerous?” 

“yes.” 

“for who?” 

his gaze cut back to yours, “for you.” 

you almost laugh but he continued before you could. 

“people know me and if they know about you, they’ll use you. you make me weak.” 

the words landed colder than you'd expected. 

sukuna watched you closely, as if waiting for the fear to register and maybe it did. 

somewhere deep, deep down, but anger got there first. 

“so that’s what this is?” you whispered, tears leaving you without you noticing, “damage control?” 

his silence was answer enough and you nodded faintly, tears burning hot once more. 

“right.” 

“you need to keep your mouth shut about it.” 

you flinched before you could stop yourself and sukuna paused, regret flashing through instantly. 

“don’t talk to me like that.” you stated lowly and his jaw clenched. 

“i’m trying to keep you safe.” 

“oh, how big of you.” 

the hallway seemed to shrink around you both. 

outside, rain tapped gently against the glass. 

inside, bass thudded like a second heartbeat through the walls. 

you looked at him then, this man that fate had tied to you with an invisible string and cruelty dressed up as destiny. and for the first time since you’d felt him at sixteen, you stopped wondering what it would be like to find him. 

because now you knew and god, you wish you didn’t. 

it felt like losing something you’d never even had. 

“is that all?” you questioned lowly, clearing your throat once.

sukuna stared at you, nose flaring and throat bobbing once, “yeah.” 

another piece of you gave out as you nodded, “okay.” 

the word was so calm, it made his eyes sharpen. 

you turned away, walking past him but his hand caught your wirst before you could take  full step. 

skin met skin and the bond went silent, completely and utterly silent. 

no buzzing or aching or distance. 

just him, all warm and real. terribly real. 

your breath hitched at his touch. it was the first time he’d ever touched you. 

sukuna froze too, fingers wrapped around your wrist like he’d touched fire and couldn’t make himself pull away. 

for one second, just one, all the cruelty fell quiet. 

and you felt him beneath it, scared and lonely, wanting and waiting. 

you felt it and you hated him for letting you feel it now. 

slowly, you looked down at his hand then back up at him, “let go.” 

his grip tightened by a fraction, “this is the best thing for the both of us.” 

your face crumpled before you could stop it. 

you pulled your wrist free and this time, he let you. 

“oh, trust me, not having to be stuck with you? i couldn’t agree more.” venom laced your words as sukuna’s expression changed, tightened and you felt the hurt then. 

sharp and immediate and you were glad for it. 

you turned and walked away then, tears streaming down your cheeks and a sob left you as soon as you were out of his vicinity. 

for the first time, the bond didn't feel like a thread pulling you closer…

it felt like noose.

∞

an | was so late with this but had the worst past few days so SORRY! anyways PLSSS lmk what u think cuz i'm iffy abt the direction of this BUT this is lowk my fav thing i've written omg! this is kinda like a prologue pt2, next chapters will deffo be longer! i cannot wait to write more of these two and sukuna's a dick but bear w him ! also each chapter in the masterlist will be titled a song and i recommend listening to it while reading for the vibes 🫡

Your giggles fill the room when he flips you to lie on your back and settles his large body over yours, naked hips tucked between your legs and keeping his chest pressed against yours. Neither of you put on clothes after your bath, Sukuna claiming he couldn’t sleep without feeling your skin. One of his hands was on your hip and the other was holding himself over you. You couldn’t move even if you wanted to. 

Not that you did, you were right where you wanted to be.

“Going somewhere sweetheart?” 

He’s smiling down at you with sleepy eyes and your heart stutters because he looks ethereal with the morning light hitting his face, so soft even with his tattoos, so completely yours. You reach a hand up to caress his face and the way his breath hitches has you smirking knowingly. 

You had Sukuna wrapped around your pretty little finger.

“Never.” You whisper, arms coming up to wrap around his neck, eyes burning into his red ones so intimately you felt you might combust. 

A satisfied rumble vibrates through his chest, his eyes trailing to your lips before he’s placing his forehead to yours. The morning sun is shining through the room and the way his eyes glow a little brighter sends flutters through your body. The domesticity of this moment has your heart thumping, realizing just how unusual this is for Sukuna, the man who took what he wanted and moved on. 

Yet here he was with you, holding you like he was afraid to let go, like if he loosened his grip just a little you would disappear. 

“You’re staring.” His voice was angelic, rough with lingering sleep and he was staring through your soul, eyes locked on yours like you were the only person in the world. Like he was committing this moment to memory.  

“Hmm, I am-” Your voice cracked as tears started to blur your vision and before you could give him a chance to comment on it, you pulled him down and pressed your lips against his. Losing yourself in this moment, savoring every second you were with him because Sukuna was clearly in love but you were hopelessly devoted. Foolishly lost to his existence. 

The kiss was extra soft, soul crushingly desperate in the way you clung to him. Every emotion you couldn't put into words poured into it instead. Every day you spent hiding your feelings for him came spilling out into one singular kiss. All the love that you had no idea what to do with, you gave it all to him.

When he finally pulled back to catch his breath, not you but him, his eyes were shining and his lips were red and glossy with your spit. You even noticed the purple marks on his neck, generous gifts you gave him last night as a reminder that he was yours. He looks thoroughly claimed. 

“I love you.” You can’t help but to say it again and the way his smile softens, the joke written on his tongue dissolving into adoration. His body pressed flush against yours, the feel of his bare chest burning through your skin.

“I know.” He nuzzles his nose against yours, breathing your air and it sends chills through your body. A tear escapes and slides down your face before you can stop it. Fuck, you were so gone. “I love you too, baby. Love you so much.”

It had been a very long time since Sukuna was able to take a true full breath. One not riddled with childhood trauma, one that actually made him feel like he was alive and human again. He almost felt it when his daughter was born but he had still been accepting the fact that he was a father so his body denied him that relief. And what a breath of fresh air it had been when he told you he loved you and you said it back. 

You fucking said it back and said it again the next day, no sign of doubt in your honey laced voice and Sukuna might as well have died and went to heaven. That uncommon feeling of insecurity that had him in a chokehold, the idea that you somehow didn’t feel the same, had dissolved in the matter of seconds just by hearing three little words.  

He would have laid in bed with you all day but he promised to pick up your shared daughter before practice, giving you time to cram in some last minute studying before he was gone most of the day.

Sukuna had told you that after practice he had some frat obligations to carry out but that wasn’t entirely truthful. Sure, he did have to stop by the fraternity but that was only to tell them that he was out. His priority no longer lied with his chosen brothers but to the family he had pledged his life to, the only pledge worth keeping. 

Gojo’s response had only been to smile and say: “About damn time bro.”

He also had another stop to make, nothing too big, just going ring shopping with the only person that knew you probably better than he did. Nanami. The man immediately agreed when Sukuna told him his plans to propose to you at practice, and now that they were standing in a jewelry shop, the pink haired giant began to panic. 

What if you didn’t want to get married? He remembered the conversation with Nanami when you  told him you were pregnant and he hinted at Sukuna marrying you. You had specifically said “What makes you think I want to get married?”  

What if there was still truth to that? Sure, you had said that you loved him but people loved others all the time without wanting to tie themselves to their partner legally. Doubt, another foreign feeling to him, pooled in his stomach and twisted until he felt nauseous. You had reduced him to a coward and he hated it. Since when had Sukuna been afraid of rejection? If a girl denied him, he respected their wishes and moved onto the next. There was a long line of women throwing themselves at him, he never had time to sulk over it. 

But they weren’t you and this was far from some drunken one night stand. You were the woman who made him a father, who he wanted to share a last name with, who slowly tore down that brick wall guarding his heart. Piece by piece, layer by layer until he was left bare and confessing the embarrassing amount of love he held for you.

Fuck it. He was already here, might as well get the fucking thing over with.

The store was humming with soft classical music as Sukuna stood stiffly beside Nanami, hating every second of this. Wishing he was home with you and his daughter, locked away in your own little domain where only you three existed.

“You seem nervous. There’s no need to be, (name) isn’t a very picky person, it’s really the thought that counts.”

Before Sukuna could deny it, tell his possibly soon to be brother in law that he didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about, a sales associate approached with a bright smile plastered on their face and Sukuna instantly had a headache. 

“Welcome! Are we shopping for anything special today?” His overly enthusiastic smile pissed Sukuna off, which was ridiculous because he knew others' happiness shouldn’t annoy him, even if it was clearly fake as hell. 

“An engagement ring and we don’t need help.” He answers flatly, ignoring the way the salesman’s eyes widened before he cools his expression into a practiced calm, staring nervously up at the 6 '5, tattooed college student who was sporting a glare that warned the man to fuck off.

Nanami’s giving Sukuna a scathing look, but he can’t see it because he’s too busy looking at the display of rings (why the fuck were there so many?) but he can feel the disappointment seeping from him. 

“Of course sir! Apologies, please let me know if you need anything at all. I’d be glad to help.” And he’s sprinting to brother someone else and Sukuna is glad because while he may have softened for you and his child, and in extension tolerated Nanami, that kindness didn’t apply to strangers. 

“You’re truly an asshole dude.” Nanami seethes while pinching the bridge of his nose, red creeping up his neck.

Sukuna almost laughs, almost. Instead he settles on a smirk because you would hate it if you found out they were arguing after growing closer during your pregnancy. Sukuna was being good for you, changing for you.

“Good thing I’m not marrying you.”

Nanami ignores the comment because he would rather literally explode than be stuck with Sukuna for the rest of his life. He was here for you and because he knew his teammate would fuck this up without him. 

Sukuna starts moving around the shop, his annoyance growing because everything he pointed out Nanami claimed you wouldn’t like. Everything Nanami pointed out, Sukuna criticized. 

“No. Absolutely not. Too small. Too ugly. What the fuck is that?” 

A woman nearby gives Sukuna a scandalous look at the last comment and Nanami pretends not to know him. He can’t imagine how his friend looks right now in the eyes of someone who didn’t know him, hat on backwards and dressed in a compression shirt that showed how his muscles flexed as his anger grew. Red eyes blazing, mouth turned downward and his face set in a permanent sneer. 

Sukuna was truly scary. What on earth did you see in him?

“What’s your budget?” He asks as they move to a different display case. These ones seem a little more up your alley, though the price tags had him sweating. Nanami could remember a conversation you had as children where you said your ideal ring was a blue ring pop and while these weren’t the candy you loved back then, they damn near matched in size. 

Sukuna deadpans him and Nanami’s cheeks turn a light tint of red. He sometimes forgot that the Itadori’s had enough money to buy half the country if they wanted to. 

“Right, I forgot. Trust fund baby.”

Sukuna didn’t have a budget. He wasn’t reckless with money after receiving his inheritance, he typically lived very frugally for someone of his background. The only times he’d ever really splurged was on his car, shopping for his daughter, the apartment he bought you, and apparently now. 

The ring he was eyeing was ridiculously expensive, nearly ¥6,409,720 and it was huge as fuck, likely to swallow your finger. It was perfect, exactly what Sukuna was looking for and Nanami actually agreed. He wanted to be sure no one would miss the way it sat pretty on your finger, telling the entire world that you were his. 

“That one.”

It’s May now. Graduation is coming up and Sukuna has been in full blown soccer mode the past month, the sport consuming his life. He’s barely had time to think let alone propose to you and he bought that fucking ring weeks ago. Between classes, games, and parenting, it seemed like he couldn’t get a moment to himself.

Your baby just turned ten weeks, a little over two months old now and the pride and joy of yours and Sukuna’s life. The tiny newborn was now a chunky infant with round cheeks and an ever changing face that resembled you more and more each passing day. Sukuna told you how perfect that was, that now there were two of you that he could love and spoil. 

She was smiling a lot more, staring too now that her visual tracking was improving. One night you had been typing away at your laptop, baby strapped in her bouncer as you worked on your final paper for your philosophy class.  

When she made a sound you looked down at her just to find she had already been staring at you and your heart stuttered. Your daughter was Sukuna’s reflection but you were starting to make out your own features in her, like how she had your eye shape but his color, hair texture closer to yours but his red. She was becoming a true split of her parents.

You were going back on campus a lot more now too, especially since your parents decided that they lived too far away and would be moving closer to you. Closer as in a five minute walk away and you were grateful. They were beyond smitten with your daughter, commenting on how she did look like her father but they could see their old friend in her too and how symbolic it was that she shared a name with her late grandmother.

Today was game day. The weather was actually warm enough that you didn’t need a jacket, though your daughter was still slightly bundled in pink against your chest, tucked securely in her carrier. You thanked God that Sukuna had brought your baby protective headphones because the stands were loud, students and families filling in to support their loved one on the field. Nearby freshmen were chanting and the game hadn’t even started yet. 

You adjusted your daughter’s headphones before pulling her tighter against your chest. She was up today, curious eyes trying their best to look around with her face pressed against your body. And while she was looking at the hundreds of new faces and bright lights, you were focused on the field, looking for a head of pink hair that had stolen your heart all those months ago. 

You and your parents had gotten there early enough to get a front row seat so it would be easier for him to find you. Jin had even come with little Yuji who insisted on sitting next to his baby cousin. What you didn’t know was that Sukuna could find you in a room of a thousand. 

He was currently on the field talking strategy with Nanami and his teammates. The game was about to start when he looked to the crowd and immediately spotted you. His stomach was flipping again but it did that every time he saw you and while he had grown used to it, it was different this time.

There you were, wearing a jersey that had his team’s colors, hair pulled behind your head with one of his hats on that had his number, his daughter tucked against your chest. The sight turned into a core memory, the way everyone else blurred and the only thing he could see was you and his baby. It was something he thought you only saw in movies but it was actively happening to him and Sukuna didn’t know what he did to get so lucky. 

He was far from the type of guy you’d bring home to meet your parents. He wasn’t kind, had a terrible past of using people to get what he wanted, the reputation he built during his frat days not something one would be proud of and yet here he was. Staring at his future wife and his child, sitting in the stands wearing his colors, your face scrunched up and eyes squinted as you looked for him, just as he did the night he met you. 

What a fucking turn of events. 

Sukuna starts walking across the field, ignoring his teammates and coach asking where he was going. He had a few minutes before the game and he was craving the taste of your lips. Who cares if he was mid strategy?

When Sukuna reaches the fence separating the bleachers from the field, you’re smiling so bright that it momentarily blinds him as you hold your daughter's bum and stand, moving toward the fence. He’s wearing a cocky grin but Sukuna can feel his heart doing somersaults because you looked so fucking edible, and he was suddenly starving. 

He felt the way he did watching you dance at that party nearly a year ago, completely hypnotized and wanting nothing more than to claim you. Only this time it was more than sex, sure he wanted to fuck you until you were creaming on cock but he wanted the world to know that you were his. His mind flashed back to the ring, how it would look on your finger if once you said yes, the smile you would wear looking down at him on one knee. 

Once you're close enough, Sukuna reaches an arm over the fence and while being mindful of his daughter, pulls you closer until his lips were hovering just above yours. The way you were wide eyed and fighting back a laugh had his smirk widening, eyes knowing nothing but your face. 

“Hi.” He whispered, completely oblivious to the people staring because no one else existed in this moment. It was just you, him and the baby strapped to your chest. 

“Hi.” You swallow hard and he notices your attention drifting behind him and for a split second, white hot jealousy courses through his body because he wanted your attention to be solely on him. “Your coach looks like he’s going to murder you.” 

He doesn’t acknowledge that because he couldn't care less what his coach thinks, hooking a finger under your chin and turning your head back to him. He could practically feel the heat from your face, your wide glossy eyes doing nothing to help the growing pool of need whirling deep in his chest. You were so beautiful, his perfect future wife.

“Missed you baby.” 

And when you laugh his heart leaps, the sound the closest thing someone like him would probably get to experiencing heaven. Fuck, you were too good for him but he was going to selfishly keep you anyways. 

“You just saw me this morning.” 

“Hmmm, too long.” And before you could respond he’s pressing his lips against yours, the sound of his name being called fading away because the only thing he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears as his lips were lost to yours. 

It ended all too soon. He had hesitantly pulled back before he decided the game wasn’t that important, his self control always hanging on a loose thread whenever it came to you. 

Before you could stop him, he was reaching over and pulling his daughter from her carrier, paying no mind to the way you scolded him and the whistle his coach was blowing. Sukuna knew he was pissed but he’d deal with that later. 

“Ryomen!” You shrieked but he could hear the laughter in your voice. The way you were enjoying this just as much as he was. 

“Hey brat.” He’s barely smiling at the baby in his arms, but stars are exploding behind his eyes at the sight of his heart in his hands. She looks so cute with her little headphones, her head so small that they were swallowing her. He’s giving her kisses on the chubby cheeks he’d never admit to becoming obsessed with, relishing in the gummy smile she gave when she recognized her father’s voice. 

His coach was calling his name for the nth time followed by a string of curses and Sukuna pulled his daughter close, breathing in her baby scent and giving her a final kiss on the head before tucking her back in her carrier. 

With a defeated pout, he’s shooting you a wink and running back to the field. 

They won the game that day by a landslide, Sukuna playing a little extra hard just so he could impress you. He was already a beast on the field but a need to gain your praise had burned through him and it led to him scoring most of the goals, even though there were two other forwards on his team. 

To celebrate their win, a party was being thrown in their honor but Sukuna had declined, stating he had better plans than getting drunk with people he could hardly tolerate. 

Later that night he was standing in front of the mirror in his room, smoothing down his dress shirt, anxiety on ten as his mind ran wild with thoughts that you wouldn’t like his outfit for your date night. Sukuna would fucking die before he wore a suit (we all know he’d wear it if you asked) but he made an effort since tonight was the night he planned on finally proposing to you. He even bought a chain after you mentioned he would look good with gold jewelry, the metal sitting cold against his chest and peeking through the top of his v neck shirt. 

The small box was burning a hole through his pant pocket and he hated the look his twin was giving him through the mirror, arms crossed at his chest as he held his gaze behind those stupid glasses. If anyone knew him, it was him and he knew that Jin could probably smell the nervousness on him. 

“You’ve changed.” 

Sukuna grumbles like an angry old man, pushing his coral hair back and opting to ignore his brother's comment. Unfortunately, Jin wasn’t the type to let things go and Sukuna regretted asking him to babysit.

No one had been able to get under his skin the way his twin did but Sukuna would never admit that Jin also kept him humble. He knew the scared young boy he used to be and even though their personalities differed greatly and his brother never agreed with his fuckboy ways, he had never turned away from him. Sukuna would even admit that Jin was his platonic soulmate, even though he was sure that you were his twin flame. 

“I mean it in a good way, idiot. Take it as a compliment, they’ve changed you for the better, you’re less grumpy. It’s refreshing, I missed this version of you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” It was useless denying it, Jin had experienced every era of his life and the connection they had as identical twins ran deep. Sukuna was far from an open book, to everyone but his wombmate of course. 

“You’ve spent the last five minutes making sure your shirt was good enough.” 

“I’m making sure I don’t look stupid.” But it was so much more than that because caring what others thought was never a part of Sukuna’s personality and Jin knew that, though he wasn’t about to argue with his brother who was equally as stubborn as he was. 

“Sure, Ryomen. We’ll go with that.” 

After spending another ten minutes making sure he looked decent enough for you, he finally stepped out of your now shared room and into the living room. Wiping his sweaty palms down his pants, angry that he couldn’t get a hold on his nerves enough to not look like a fool in front of you. Why was he acting like a loser that never interacted with a woman before? 

He froze at the sight of you, entire body buzzing with awe because standing before him was his future and you looked like a goddess, entirely out of his league. You were wearing a long sleeved square neck red dress that hugged your postpartum hips perfectly, your hair down and falling over your shoulders. Red gloss spread across your lips and he wondered what you tasted like.

Sukuna could smell the vanilla perfume from across the room. It clouded his senses and helped him drag his feet toward you. 

You were looking admiringly at the ground where Yuji was lying on his stomach across from his cousin, watching her with wide eyes and a toothy smile as she did tummy time. Sukuna stole a quick glance before looking back at you. 

Just as he was about to speak you turned around and the look you gave him had his tongue tied, the small smile making his head spin. Fuck. Every logical bone in his body told him to compliment you, but he was so lost in your eyes he forgot how to speak. Until Jin ruined it by smacking the back of his head and giving him a look that told him to speak up. 

He gave his brother a glare who simply smirked and moved around him so he could sit with the children, picking up his niece and laughing at how Yuji immediately shot up and asked to hold her. Sukuna’s frown disappeared the moment he heard your laugh though. Your hand was covering your mouth and he wanted to scold you for hiding it from him. 

Instead he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, face growing hot with nervousness as if he wasn’t balls deep inside of you this morning telling you over and over how much he loved you.

“You look handsome.” You were moving closer and fixing the collar of his shirt, hand trailing to hover over the necklace on his chest but your eyes never left his. Sukuna could feel his cock twitching at your touch, hand coming up to grab your hip and pull you closer.

“Yeah? Tried my best just for you baby.” And he relished in the way your breath hitched, grabbing your hand and bringing it to his mouth to kiss. He let his lips linger for a few seconds, enjoying the feel of your skin against his mouth before you both said your goodbyes and he was walking you out the door.

Sukuna kept his hand on your lower back as he led you toward the restaurant he had reserved the day he bought the ring sitting heavy in his pocket. The closer you got to the building the more confused you became. The parking lot was damn near empty which was unusual for this place and you would know because it was notoriously hard to get a table here. 

“Are they closed?” You glance at him but he presses his hand against your back, urging you forward despite the suspiciousness of the situation. 

“No.”

“Then where is everyone?” You didn’t think twice about the way he clenched his jaw or the slight tremble in hand as he moved it from behind your back and opened the door for you. 

“You ask too many questions.” 

You hit his chest, annoyed he wouldn’t answer because they were totally valid questions. It was too dead for a restaurant as popular as this one. You wonder what strings Sukuna pulled to even get a table on such short notice.

“And you’re being weird. What-” The words die on your tongue at the sight staring back at you. 

The restaurant was empty, soft music filling the air and all the tables had been removed except for one that hosted two chairs. There were red roses scattered throughout the space, candles flickering in the dim room, the only people there being the staff members that moved with purpose throughout the room. 

Your head slowly turns to him as he moves to stand next to you. He’s avoiding eye contact but living with him for so long had given you the ability to tell when he was nervous. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Sukuna had bought out the fucking resturant. 

“Did you-” 

“S’not a big deal.” But the way you’re smiling and your eyes are widened in pure shock is. 

Your smile shouldn’t affect him as much as it did but Sukuna felt something tightening in his chest and how could anyone blame him for staring when you were that cute? His pretty girl. He was so fucking whipped, it was borderline concerning. 

Sukuna was grateful you didn’t push the matter. He just wanted one night that belonged entirely to the two of you. No strangers recognizing him from games. No crying babies, no family members, no school responsibilities demanding your attention.

Just you. For one evening, he wanted you all to himself.

The hostess welcomes you both in and leads you to the table sat near a huge window that overlooked Tokyo’s skyline and the view left you breathless. It wasn’t your first time seeing it but you still hadn’t grown used to the city, having grown up in the outskirts of it. Thousands of stars shined against the darkening sky as the sun disappeared and you turned to point out the sheer beauty to Sukuna, only he wasn’t looking at the view. 

He was too busy looking at you and the intensity of his gaze had butterflies shooting straight to your cunt. The way he insisted on looking at you like no other woman existed always left you shy and needy and it didn’t help that he looked so fucking delicous in that outfit. The chain sending your mind racing with truly filthy thoughts. 

“Y-you should, ahem, look at the view. It’s b-beautiful.” You felt so fucking stupid, stuttering like a teenager who had a crush on her brother’s older hot friend. 

“I am.” He hums and moves closer, shrugging off his leather jacket and laying it on the seat next to you. 

You gasp and take a step backward but it didn’t matter because he simply followed you, like a magnet being pulled by metal. He didn’t stop until your back was against the window and he was hovering over you, both arms pressed against the glass and caging you in. 

Your panties were starting to grow wet, heart and body melting at the way he was staring at you, red eyes blazing into yours and telling you he wanted you just as much as you wanted him. 

“Need you so bad baby, can’t wait.”

Sukuna doesn’t wait for you to respond before he’s dipping his head to run his nose against your neck, inhaling deep and growing rock hard at your scent. Perfume had never made him feel this desperate before but he was hardly ashamed at the hopeless want he felt toward you. 

“Sukuna, we’re n-not, mmm, we’re not alone.” You’re pushing at his shoulders and he sighs in annoyance, shooting a scowl at the workers over his shoulder. How fucking stupid could they be? 

He was clearly about to fuck you and they were stood there staring like cuck morons. But he didn’t have to say a word because the death glare had done its job and they scattered off. He could feel your shoulders shaking with laughter, his anger instantly dissolving. 

“You’re such a meanie.” You tease, hands going to play with the hair at his nape and Sukuna felt the precum oozing into his boxers. 

“You still love me though, don’t you baby?” Any joke you were going to make was gone the moment he crashed his lips against yours, your hands tugging tightly at his slick back hair as he pressed himself against you. The way your tits were pressed against his chest felt amazing and made him want more.

You were moaning into his mouth, your tongues clashing as you traded spit and he tasted so fucking sweet, you need more. You take his tongue into your mouth and suck, the taste of mint heavy. You only stop when you feel his fingers lift your dress and brush against your clothed pussy, head thrown back as you moan embarrassingly loud, smacking a hand over your mouth because you would die if anyone other than Sukuna heard how pathetic you were for him.

You two hadn’t even sat down before he was on you like you were a drug he was addicted to. The fact that he hadn’t lost his attraction to you after you birthed his daughter and your body changed, only pulled you deeper in this obsessive force spewing between the two of you. It grew stronger by the day and a normal person might be concerned if their thoughts consisted mostly of him and his touch, but you were far from normal.

He continues his assault on your neck, sucking hard enough to leave a bruise, his fingers pulling your panties to the side and sending you reeling when they finally make contact with your leaking cunt. 

Sukuna smirks against your neck, moving his head to nibble on your earlobe. “So wet for me already, pretty. So fucking needy. Tell me what you want.” 

His voice vibrates through your body and your hips buck against his hand, demanding more pressure, needing him inside of you. Fuck the foreplay. You pressed a hand to his pants, his rock hard cock twitching at the feel of you, and you squeeze. 

Sukuna gasps and groans, grinding into it and leaning his forehead against yours, loose pieces of pink hair falling forward. 

“Want you to fuck me, Ryo. Been thinking about it since you left this morning.” Meaning you’ve been thinking about it since he stuffed you full before leaving for his game. It hadn’t even been 12 hours since he last fucked you and already-

He was bending you over the table before you knew it, hiking your dress up and pulling his pants and boxers down. His cock slapped against his stomach, pre-cum leaking from his red tip and trickling down his length. Sukuna usually wouldn’t fuck you without prepping you with his fingers or tongue first, but he needed to take you to clear his mind before proposing to you. And right now his brain was telling him that he needed to be inside of you, filling until you were dripping with his cum. 

You cry out when he rubs his length up and down your folds before slamming into you. He bottomed out in one thrust, hands shaking as they gripped your hips and pulled you closer, your ass pressing against his groin. 

The sounds coming from you were nasty in the hottest way possible, your wet cunt gripping him so fucking tight and he didn’t give you a moment to adjust, rutting into you and fighting the urge to cum. 

“Haaah, it’s too big Ryo, I-I c-can’t take ittt.” You cried out, hands gripping the table so tight you thought it might break it the force you were using to keep yourself upright. Your boobs were swinging, entire body shaking from the way he was pounding into you. 

“You can and you will.” He grunts, looking down to watch the way his cock disappears into your sweet pussy, gummy walls squeezing him so fucking good he was actively fighting back his rising orgasm. 

You were seeing stars, hips burning from his grip on you, each slam sending cups and plates falling to the ground and shattering. Neither of you cared, too lost in the moment, in the way you fit just perfectly for the other, like you had been sculpted with the sole purpose of molding together.

“Uhhhh Ryo, don’t ss-stop, feels s’good, oh god!” You whined and moved your hips to meet his thrust. That doesn’t last long before he’s squeezing your hips to keep you still and leaning over your body, capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

He moves a hand to squeeze your jaw until you get the hint and open up, tongue sticking out as he spit a glob into your mouth and you swallow like the good whore you were, pussy clenching down hard at the feeling of being totally dominated. 

“F-fuck don’t do that. M’not gonna last long baby.” He can feel his balls tightening and he refuses to get off before you do, wrapping his arm around your neck and pulling you until you’re both standing with your chest flat against his back. 

That’s when an idea hit him. You loved that view so much right? Before he can think rationally about doing it, he's wrapping both arms around your waist and carrying you to the window, his cock slipping out and you’re too busy with your eyes closed to notice what he’s doing. 

Not until he’s setting you down again and bending you over, grabbing your sweaty hands in his and placing them on the window. 

“Ryo- w-what are you doing? We can’t, someone will see- OH!” He slams back into you without warning, chuckling at your fucked out state before he continues his relentless attack on your pussy. 

Realistically, you were high up enough to where no one would notice you two, which is why he ignored your comment and instead focused on how good you felt gripping around his cock. No matter how much Sukuna fucked you, he would never get used to the feeling of you underneath him, moaning like a good little slut while he split you open on his length. 

His perfect soon to be wife and he knew he was never gonna let up on you. Never give anyone else the chance to experience your heaven sent pussy. 

“Let them, sweetheart- fuck! Let them see how much I’m gonna fucking fill this perfect cunt up, you want that? Tell me you want my cum, s- say it baby.” 

You could barely breathe with the way he was slamming into you, your pussy contracting around him as more of your juices leaked out, coating the base of his cock in a ring of cream. The sight had the man above you spiraling and crying out a guttural moan. The sound making your stomach tighten., the coil snapping.

“Yes! Please, ngghh, please give it to me. Oh god, m’gonna cum!” The pulsing pleasure that ripped through you was red, your fingers curling and digging into the glass as you rode out your orgasm.

Sukuna wasn’t too far behind, thrusting into you like an animal as he desperately chased his high and helped you ride out yours. He gasped when electricity shot through his stomach, toes digging into the soles of shoes as he reached around to wrap a hand around your throat and pull you back to him. 

“Fuck- m’gonna cum, pretty.” Just as he’s about to bust a fat nut, you’re pulling your hips away from his and dropping to your knees. 

You had given Sukuna oral before, but seeing you on your knees with your tongue sticking out and hands gripping his thighs had him stunned, though he covered it up with a grin. 

“Want it on my face this time. Please Kuna?” 

Kuna? That was new but Sukuna loved it, grumbling as he grabbed your chin with one hand and his cock with the other. 

Instead of responding, he started pumping his cock, squeezing at the tip before dragging it back down to the base. It didn’t take long before he was throwing his head back and shooting a massive load, white, thick ropes of cum spraying from his tip and onto your face, your tongue, your hair. 

"Oh fuuucck"

He kept pumping until he was milked dry, a little upset because nothing felt better than breeding you but loving it nonetheless. Once he caught his breath he was biting back a laugh at the sight of you on the ground, covered in his cum. It was a view he would never forget, you had never looked more like his. 

He straightens at your glare, helping you off the ground and grabbing a handkerchief from the table. He wiped your face until it was clear then dropped to his knee and tugged at your legs.

“Open.” He mumbled and you did, shaking and trying your best not to pass out when he started wiping between your legs, pulling your panties aside and cleaning you until you were dry enough to stop leaking. 

You would definitely need a shower.

“All good?” Sukuna looks up at you and his heart leaps at the way you stare down at him, mouth slightly open and nodding your head yes. Your hair was a mess, dress hanging off one shoulder and face burning in the aftermath of your intense quickie. 

You were so beautiful, fucking flawless and he couldn't imagine going a day without you. The ring in his pocket grew heavy, reminding him that now was his chance to bring his desires to fruition. The perfect moment to speak the four words that had been playing in the back of his head since he bought the ring weeks ago. 

“You okay?” You’re smiling softly but he can see the concern on your face, your hand coming out to hold his cheek and he can’t help but turn his head and kiss your wrist, eyes never leaving yours. 

How would he even ask? Sukuna was never good with words so he’d just have to, for once, let his heart lead him and hope everything didn’t crash and burn. Before he could back out, he was reaching a hand into his pocket and pulling out a velvet red box, looking back up at you as his hand shook. 

You were covering your mouth with your hand, eyes wide as tears filled them. This couldn’t be real, you must have gotten fucked so hard that you got put sleep and this was a dream. Tears began to spill, falling from your cheeks and onto the floor. 

Here was the man who swore he didn’t do relationships, bounced from woman to woman for years, claiming they were a waste of time and he’d never tie himself to one person. The frat boy whose life consisted of partying, soccer, and sex. 

He shifted onto one knee in front of you, grabbing your hand and littering it in kisses before looking back up at you with a terrified smile. For a few seconds he said nothing, eyes squeezing shut as if he was trying to find the right words, but you knew what he was going to say and had to fight yourself from screaming YES. 

The silence lingered, the only sound in the restaurant being the music playing but that was a non factor because the only thing you could focus on was the man on the ground in front of you. When he finally exhaled, chills shot through your body and your knees grew weak.

“You know I’m shit at this.” His hand tightens around the box as you give a watery smile, heart going thump thump thump. “But I'm gonna try anyway.” 

He kept his eyes on you, thumb rubbing against the back of your hand as a way to ground himself. Remind him that it was just you and him and that you loved him as much as he loved you. 

“When I first met you I was an asshole.” He swallowed hard. “I was selfish. Didn't care about anyone but myself. I did whatever I wanted, fucked whoever I wanted and left because it was easier than caring about people.” 

Your breath catches but you say nothing. 

“Then you happened and I annoyingly started to care. Fuck-” He clears his throat to hide the way his voice was starting to crack. But you don’t judge, simply squeezed his hand and encouraged him to continue. 

“That entire summer I thought about you and when you told me you were pregnant I was fucking terrified but there was always a lingering thought that at least now I’d have you in my life for good. I thought it was just because you were carrying the brat, but I started wanting more after she was born.”

“Even while I stupidly denied my feelings toward you, I hated that we were sleeping in separate rooms. I spent every night wishing you were lying next to me, too dumb to actually do anything about it. Then I fucked up trying to be someone I knew I wasn’t anymore and I’m so fucking sorry it took me this long to do this.”

He kisses your hand one more time before pulling away and opening the box, the huge rock taking you aback because you had never owned anything like it before. One look was all it took to know he spent a fortune on it. 

“Ryo-”

“Don’t interrupt me, sweetheart.” You snap your mouth shut, letting your smile grow because this was really happening! You felt like throwing up from the rush of excitement, left hand shaking as he grabbed it again. 

“I love you. Not just because you gave me my kid even though she’s pretty fucking amazing, but because you reminded me that Iove could be easy.” His voice goes soft. 

“I graduate next week and everything’s going to change.” His grip tightened around the ring. Sukuna was surprised at how easy he had been able to express his feelings to you, the words rolling off his tongue like they had always been destined to be spoken. 

“I don’t want to spend a moment of my life without you. I don’t care how hard things get as long as I have you by my side.”

Sukuna inhaled shakily, the words at the tip of his tongue. He was actually doing this, no turning back now. 

“Will you marry me-”

“Yes!” You sob out your answer before he can fully finish, dropping to the ground in front of him and grabbing his face in your hands, hot tears spilling. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you!”

Sukuna feels the weight of the world lift off his chest, relief flooding his bed because you said yes! “Yeah?” 

And you’re nodding, smiling through the water works because you loved him so damn much and now you would be able to truly call him yours. You had achieved the impossible and locked down Ryomen Sukuna. 

“Thank fuck. Ring was expensive as shit.”

Graduation day came sooner than Sukuna was prepared for. Four years of bullshit papers, lectures, parties and games all reduced to a few hours, a cap and a gown and a piece of paper waiting for him at the end of the stage. 

The morning had started in chaos. 

Your daughter who was now almost three months old, decided last night that sleep was optional and had been awake since before dawn. By the time you were dressed and ready to leave, there were burp cloths scattered throughout the apartment, a half-finished bottle sitting on the coffee table, and Sukuna was already complaining about his graduation gown.

You looked up from where you were fastening your daughter's tiny floral headband, smiling to yourself at how cute he looked and how proud you were of him, and you. You had both managed to pass your finals despite being new parents. You were going to be a senior, Sukuna was graduating, and it felt so surreal.

"It looks exactly like everyone else's."

He gives a hmph and you laugh, returning your attention to your daughter who was fast asleep in her carseat while you were actively fighting back yawns. Sukuna watches while you tightened her straps before standing and moving toward him. 

His eyes falling to the rock shining on your finger, they always do. His fiancé. He wondered how he got so lucky.

Once you’re close enough, you reach up and adjust the cap on his head and Sukuna is completely smitten. Never growing used to the way you always insisted on taking care of him.

His heart was overflowing with love for you, hands going to your waist to pull you close. He stares for a moment, committing every feature of you to memory, rubbing his thumb against your bottom lip before leaning down and kissing you. Hoping you’d feel every ounce of devotion he held for you.

“Mmm. Love you, fiancé.”

The stadium was packed by the time everyone arrived. Rows upon rows of graduates filling the seats while family members crowded the stands above. You sat beside your parents and Jin and Yuji, your daughter sound asleep in your lap. Yuki was on your right because you two were the only ones from your group not graduating. The tiny white dress your daughter had been dress in had lasted twenty minutes before she spit up on it and now wore her backup outfit.

It was easy to find Sukuna since he towered over everyone, his gown not doing much to hide his broad shoulders. He was laughing at something Gojo said, the white haired man throwing an arm around his shoulders. 

You were an hour into the ceremony when your phone buzzed three times. You adjust your daughter in your arms and unlock the screen, instantly smiling because Sukuna was the one blowing you up. 

ryo 💍: miss you already  ryo 💍: this is fucking dragging ryo 💍: look up

When you do Sukuna is smirking up at you and sending you a wink. You chuckle and look back down at your phone, bottom lip caught between your teeth, ears on fire. 

you: be a good boy and stop complaining, you might get a treat. ryo 💍: don’t tease me brat. when has that ever ended well for you?

Eventually they began calling students names and when they finally reached Sukuna, your daughter woke up from the way you were yelling for your man, Jin and Yuji standing tall and cheering with the rest of the crowd. The four year old almost jumping out his father's arms, yelling "UNC KUNA." 

Ever the gym rat, Sukuna takes his degree and holds it up, raising his other arm to flex his muscle, face big on the screen and you’re giggling because deep down he was still that frat boy that stole your heart last summer.  

What was that saying? You can take the man out of the frat but you can’t take the frat out of the man.

The ceremony eventually ended and chaos followed. Families were flooding onto the floors below, graduates searching for friends, cameras flashing from every angle. Your dress swished side to side as you made your way to your fiance, Yuki had disappeared to find Choso, your parents: Nanami and Jin followed close behind, holding Yuji’s hand tight so he didn’t run away.

When you finally found Sukuna his gown was open, his cap was off and in his hands and he was giving Gojo a hug. A genuine one without a scowl on his face. The brothers whispering a few words to each other before turning to you. 

Before you could say a word, Gojo was saying hello and taking his goddaughter from your arms, littering her cheeks in kisses and Sukuna surprisingly said nothing. He was too busy moving toward you, gripping your hips and pulling you close. 

“Now we get to spend more time together, kid!” You heard Gojo say but your eyes were locked on Sukuna’s. 

“Congra-”

The giant pulled you to him before you could get the word out and kissed you like he hadn't seen you in weeks instead of hours. You sunk into it, wrapping your hands around his neck as he lifted you off the ground and spinned you around. 

You laughed against his mouth, heart full and the reality of your life finally hitting you.

Being a mom in your early 20’s had never been a part of your five year plan, least of all with your brother's fratbro, but there wasn’t a thing you’d change about it. You would pick him to be your husband and the father of your child in every timeline, in every life.

There was no one beside Sukuna. Your heart wholly belonged to him, and his belonged to you. Two dumb college students who found love in the most unlikely of places.

Ten years later

Satoro Gojo was sitting behind his desk, reading through papers about a new business his company was buying out when a soft knock filled the room. 

He called for the person to come in, setting the papers down, knowing exactly who it was the moment their knuckles touched his door. When she walked in, he smiled and straightened, still finding it hard to believe how his goddaughter had gone from a drooling baby who loved to bite his fingers, to an actual person with thoughts and feelings of her own. 

Her hair was pink as ever and she was taller than the average ten year old, her face sporting the same scowl her father always wore. She looked just like his friend, even though her eyes were as soft as yours. 

She was dressed in her soccer uniform still, though Gojo had picked her up from practice an hour ago. She had been staying with him for the next two weeks, as you and Sukuna celebrated your anniversary out of the country. Gojo never wanted to have kids of his own, so having her occasionally come over was a blessing he never failed to be thankful for.

“What’s up, kid?” 

She hesitated, her frown deepening and his concern skyrocketed. Though the girl's attitude rivaled her father's, the two often bumping heads, she was typically a happy child. A genuine frown on her face was unlike her. 

When she didn’t respond, only shrugged, Gojo stood from behind his desk and crossed the room to her. She was far too big now to enjoy being picked up, so he opted for leading her to the couch in the corner of his office, sitting her down and giving her that look. The one that said “speak or no roblox money.”

For a moment she simply stared at her hands, cheek dusted pink as she tried to find her words. 

“Do you think my dad loves soccer more than me?”

Gojo’s heart sank. As silly as they were together, the cool uncle who never took life too seriously and always gave her things her parents said no to, he realized she was still just a kid. One who was apparently worried that her father didn’t love her enough. 

“Oh, princess. I promise that couldn’t be further from the truth.” He pulled her close, hand stroking her hair as her frown deepened. 

Gojo understood where the hurt was coming from. Sukuna had never quit soccer after college, not finding any trouble getting into the leagues and since professionals always had somewhere they needed to be, he ended up missing her school concert last month. 

A few dinners here and there, nothing consistent but children noticed everything and it clearly bothered her.

“Then why did he miss my concert for a stupid meeting?” 

Damn that man. Gojo thought carefully of what to say because he knew he hadn’t done it on purpose. If there was one thing he knew, it was that no one in this life or the next loved her more than Sukuna did, but parents got busy and sometimes made mistakes. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” 

She looks up at him with innocent red eyes, head shaking as strings of hair fall from her braid. He loved her so damn much, she was the only kid he’d ever have and he’d do just about anything for her.

"When your dad was in college, he almost got kicked off the soccer team because he left in the middle of strategy to come see you."

Despite her distressed state, a smile slowly appeared. Your smile.

“Now I wasn’t there, but I have it on good authority that he pointed at you every time he scored.” The good word was the gossip that spread after the game and the fact that Sukuna almost punched him when Gojo teased him about it.

He smiled at the memory, a part of him missing the days he shared with his frat brothers.

“I don’t believe you uncle Toru.” She squints her eyes suspiciously, arms crossing at her chest. 

“When have I ever lied to you?” Gojo squeezes her shoulder, looking down at her with a small smile. 

“Your dad loves a lot of things, kid. Soccer, your mom, being a grumpy asshole.” 

That pulls a laugh from her as she nods her head in agreement. Good. All Gojo ever wanted in life was for her to be happy, and to be the second father she could always come to when she was feeling down or unsure about anything.

“But do you know what your dad loves the most?”

She looked up at him, shaking her head from side to side but her eyes were hopeful. Gojo ruffles her hair. 

“You.”

He had known Sukuna for a massive chunk of his life, befriending him when they were only in high school. He watched him become a father, a husband, and go from fratboy to a domesticated family man and world known soccer player. 

He was sure about one thing when it came to Sukuna, and it was that there was no universe where he’d pick soccer over his family.

When you and your husband finally returned a week later, the little girl wasted no time and crashed herself into her father, tears pouring down  her face. The force almost knocked him backward but without hesitation, he caught her. Arms wrapping protectively around her as he chuckled and placed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Hi sweetheart. Missed me that much?”

Gojo watched from the porch with relief. Watched as Sukuna picked up his ten year old daughter, her legs wrapping around his waist and your arms curling around them both. 

Some things never changed. Not after two years, not after five, and not after ten. No matter how big she got, she would always be Sukuna’s little girl and he would always love her more than anything in this world. 

In the end, you had showed that Ryomen Sukuna does in fact do relationships and he had never been more happy to see his friend proven wrong.

the end.

❦ lisa's note: so this is the end.. i just combined ch. 6 and 7 plus the epilogue into one since they weren't very long and im sad because this series is officially over. i'll be posting the remaining one-shots in between my other fics but for now we're saying goodbye to frat dad kuna. thank you for riding along, I'm blown away at how well received this series was. thank you sm my lovies, there's more to come soon.

“We know you’re in there, stop avoiding us!” Yuki called from behind the door, followed by a string of agreements from Utahime and Shoko. You smile, heart racing because you hadn’t seen them since you’d given birth almost two weeks ago, even if you were slightly annoyed that your daughter was now stirring awake. 

“One second!” You yelled back, kissing the pink haired baby, tightening her to your chest and moving the laptop out of the way so you could stand. 

When you opened the door, three women that you considered to be sisters were standing on the other side, carrying gift bags and balloons that said “congrats, it’s a girl!” and “i ❤️ milfs” and you couldn’t help but smile, even if your eyes were burning and you were dead tired. 

“Hi guys.” You give a breathy laugh and step out the way so they can come inside and the moment you close the door and turn to stare at them, the bags are on the floor and all eyes are locked on you and the tiny baby on your chest who’s half asleep and somehow missing a mitten despite it being there a few minutes ago.

She coos as she slowly starts to open her eyes and you swear all theirs start to water. 

After everyone’s washed their hands, they’re all taking turns passing your daughter around, and she’s currently snug in Yuki’s blanket covered arms, the blonde woman staring down with pride filled eyes that start to tear up as your daughter idly looks around, fist going to her mouth to suck on. A clear sign she was starting to get hungry.

“I’ll feed her!” Shoko cried when you returned with a warm bottle a few minutes later and you almost laugh and cry because you hate that you’ve been avoiding them, even without meaning to and seeing how much they already love your daughter is almost too much to handle.

“No fair, I didn’t even get to hold her yet!” Utahime cries from the floor and Yuki reluctantly passes her the baby, yelling at her to hold her head properly or she’d take her back. 

You pass Utahime the bottle and sit on the floor next to her, hand idly pushing your daughter's pink hair back as she greedily drinks. When you look up, Shoko is staring at you, really staring at you and her face is full of worry. 

“When’s the last time you slept and showered?” 

“Or ate a proper meal?” Yuki adds.

All eyes are on you and you shrink from the attention because it’s overwhelming, and the only people you’ve been around for this long giving birth are your daughter and Sukuna. You hadn’t even realized until now just how much you’ve been avoiding everyone, putting off your friends and parents meeting your baby, telling Nanami that now wasn’t a good time when he asked to come over. 

“Ryo took over last night so it hasn’t been that long.” You frown when you remember how tired Sukuna looked when he left this morning, eyes red and droopy, his hair tousled even though he used a hat to cover it. “And I eat plenty.” 

You lied about the last part, too embarrassed to admit that you were just too tired from being a mother and too busy from being a student to make a full course meal. You weren’t starving yourself but the last time you had something that wasn’t quick and cold was when you were in the hospital and Sukuna brought you lunch. 

You inwardly cringe and of course your friends notice because they care about you and you hate that you let yourself forget that. You and Sukuna had secluded yourselves in your own bubble of parental bliss that you forgot you had friends and family waiting to help with whatever you needed. 

 “Right.” Shoko frowns and stands, picking up one of the bags that contained groceries that reminded you that you nor Sukuna had properly grocery shopped since your baby was born. “Like I said, we came bearing gifts. You’re gonna get whatever you need to get done: shower, sleep, do school work. We’ll take care of the baby and the house for you. We aren’t accepting no for an answer.” 

You open your mouth to argue but immediately snap it shut at the look all three girls are giving you. You nod and look back at your daughter, eyes burning at the sight of her half asleep in utahime’s arms, lazily drinking her bottle as milk drips out the side of her mouth. 

“You’ve been avoiding us.” 

Yuki glares again and your stomach twists because you feel so fucking bad. Outside of Sukuna, Yuki had been there the most during your pregnancy with her being your roommate at the time. She’d hold your hair up while you emptied your stomach into the toilet, help you with any notes you missed in your shared classes. She even recorded a lecture for you and you repaid her by shutting her out, shutting all of your friends out. Making excuses when they asked to come over, ignoring texts, promising to call but never doing it. 

You could blame it on being too tired but it was more than that. You hadn’t truly felt like yourself since finding out you were pregnant and it only got worse after giving birth. Your body still hadn’t returned to its previous shape, you lacked stretch marks but your boobs had grown large, hair thinner and you felt like you were in a completely different body. 

“I’m sorry.” You bite your lip as tears escape and your shoulders start to shake. Yuki’s face instantly softens and she and Shoko (who basically throws the bags to the floor) are on the ground next to you, pulling you into a tight hug. 

“Oh honey.” Shoko murmurs, hand rubbing at your head. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I s-should be happy, I am happy. I love her s-so much but sometimes I just sit there and cry and I don’t- I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

You sob and they let you and it felt so good. You couldn’t do this with Sukuna, your relationship had been strictly co-parents with the occasional benefits of forehead kisses and the one time you got yourself off against his cock two days ago. None of that gave you the idea that it was ok to pour your heart out to him, especially since a huge chunk of the reason you were in such distraught was because of him. He was a great father, so good to you too and it only made you fall deeper in love with him. 

Yuki pulls back and wipes at your tears, her own eyes glossy. “Shit, (name). We would’ve been here if we knew it was this bad. I’m the one that’s sorry for taking so long to do this.” 

“We’re fixing this.” Shoko hugs you tight before standing, grabbing the bags again and moving to the kitchen. 

“What?” You sniffle and wipe at your eyes.

She starts pulling groceries out the bag as well as tupperware, setting everything up neatly and looking at you with a soft smile. “I’ll meal prep for you and Sukuna because I saw him the other day and he looked like he was on the verge of passing out.”

“And I'll clean.” Utahime adds in, removing the bottle from the baby's mouth and passing her to Yuki so she can stand. 

“Guys.. I can help-”

“No.” Yuki glares. “You’ll go lay your ass down, or take a shower, do your school, I don’t care. You just pushed out a whole ass human not even two weeks ago, we got this.” 

You simply nod because you’re too tired to argue, give your daughter a kiss on her cheek and grab your laptop before moving to your room. The apartment is full of noises and you try your best to finish the video you had been watching before they came but fell asleep five minutes later. 

Sukuna is beyond exhausted by the time he gets home, pushing open the front door with slumped shoulders and half closed eyes. The charity event had taken longer than he thought it would and he was fucking pissed, wanting nothing more than to be home with you and his daughter. 

His brother had also texted him earlier that day and told him he was back in the country and he and Yuji were excited to finally meet the baby. Sukuna wanted to tell him to fuck off but he had been trying to be a better person and that included not being an ass to people who cared and that he equally cared about, even if he was shit at showing it. 

So he reluctantly agreed, sighing when his twin texted back a few seconds later stating they were an hour away. He was hoping to get a few hours of sleep but that clearly wasn’t happening and his annoyance only grew when he opened the front door. 

He stopped dead in his tracks and looked around his living room in shock. It was spotless and smelled of air freshener instead of baby milk and there were three women sitting on his couch. The blonde, who he recognized as Choso’s girlfriend and your ex-roommate, was holding his daughter. Shoko and Utahime, he knew because he went to high school with them, were both folding clothes and the sight left him confused. 

His eyes immediately went to look for you as he closed the door and shrugged off his jacket, hanging it and his hat up before stepping further inside. 

“Looks like daddy’s home.” Yuki scrunched her nose at the baby, smiling and sitting her up to look at Sukuna. 

His heart dropped as his daughter faced him, a little yawn escaping as she scrunched her body and stretched and his feet were moving before his brain registered what he was doing. He quickly washed his hands and moved to grab his baby, holding her close to his face and giving both cheeks a kiss, inhaling her baby scent that always gave him a boost of serotonin.

“Where’s (name)?” He didn’t acknowledge the other two nodding at him because his mind was still filled with panic that something happened and no one told him. It didn’t help that you hadn’t responded to his text asking what you wanted for lunch.

“She’s been asleep for the last two hours. We stopped by to help because you two clearly need it.” Shoko stood with folded clothes in her arms, setting them in the hamper. 

Sukuna grunted, half annoyed that they were in his home but grateful because he’d rather pass out from exhaustion than tell anyone he needed help with anything. It wasn’t in his nature. So he let them finish what they were doing, thanked them when they were leaving and promised he’d let you know to text them when you woke. 

“Alright brat, let’s go check on your mom.” 

An hour later you’re all washed and dressed up, baby girl wearing the cutest white set and a headband on her head, pushing her pink hair back and Sukuna glared because if he didn’t he would cry. 

When looks at you, his daughter against your chest, he swallows a moan. You were dressed in jeans and the same pink sweater you wore during your pregnancy, with the heart stitched into it and the way your jeans hugged your ass so perfectly had his face heating. 

He knew he was fucked because the outfit wasn’t revealing at all but he still wanted to devour you, to make you wholly his and his only. He thought of how right it felt to tell that girl that you were his girlfriend, how it flowed so perfectly from his tongue like that had always been your rightful title. 

Sukuna’s mind had grown dangerous since that day, thoughts of confessing his confusing feelings to you creeping in, wondering if you even wanted him in that way. He had never doubted if a woman wanted him before, he was one of the most desired men on campus. Insecurity had never been a part of his vocabulary but this is the man you had turned him into. Utterly weak.

He clears his throat when you catch him looking, heart pounding even as he acts nonchalant, keeping his face straight and his emotions locked away. It’s what he was best at. “Jin should be here soon.”

He’s trying his best not to acknowledge the way you hold his gaze, looking at him with those same glossy eyes that had him weak from the moment he first laid eyes on you. You were so carefree that night, dancing with random men and pissing him off until he showed you that he could play that game better, fucking you until you were dripping with his seed. 

“I-” You started to speak but was cut off by knocking at the door, the sound of a small voice yelling his name. 

“UNC KUNA!” 

Sukuna could hear his brother shushing him, the toddler simply laughing and knocking again. When he opened the door, his nephew crashed into his legs before he could blink, like he always does and squeezed tight but he didn't stay long before pushing past him and slamming his tiny body into yours. 

You gasp before laughing and steadying your daughter against you, reaching one hand down to rub at his hair. “Aunt (name)!” and your heart skips a beat, eyes wide as you stare at Sukuna and he simply shrugs and lets his brother in, who’s holding flowers and gift bags.

“Sorry about that, he’s been talking nonstop about meeting his cousin.” 

Jin looked equally as excited as his four year old, giving you a soft smile before his eyes fell to his niece who’s sound asleep in your arms. Yuji is pulling at your pants and staring up at her like she descended from the heavens. 

“Is that the baby?” 

“Yes.” You laugh. 

“The real baby?” And you only nod as Sukuna comes up behind Yuji and lifts him, holding him with one arm so he can look at his cousin. The weight difference throws him off as he had become used to holding a seven pound baby and not his almost forty pound nephew. 

“Yeah she's real, brat.” He grumbles. Yuji makes a wow sound and leans forward to get a better look at her, nearly jumping out of his arms. Sukuna tightens his grip to keep him from falling, annoyed that his nephew never had concern for his own safety. 

“She has pink hair like us dad!” He gives Jin a big toothy grin, the man smiling back and looking from Sukuna to the baby, then you. “She does, buddy.”

Sukuna is avoiding looking at his twin because he knows exactly what he wants to say from the sound of his voice, knowing him all too fucking well. They had always been able to silently communicate, sometimes not even needing to look at each other to know what they were feeling or thinking, perks of being identical twins. So he keeps his eyes on the people in front of him, not wanting to touch on the conversation he knew was coming.

“Does she talk?” 

“No.” Sukuna rolls his eyes. 

“Can she play with me?” 

“No.” He deadpans. 

Yuji frowns at the baby. “Well then what does she do?” 

“She eats, poops and sleeps.” He says matter of factly, adjusting his nephew in his arms and fighting back a smile at how much he looks like his daughter. 

‘I do that too!” 

Everyone laughs and when Sukuna sits his nephew down, Jin is passing you a bouquet of the most beautiful flowers you've ever seen, colors of blue, pink and yellow littered throughout. “From me and Yuji.” 

“Oh, you didn't have to do that.” Your face is burning as you use your free hand to accept them, smiling at Sukuna’s much softer twin. “Thank you Jin.”

“Can I hold her?” Yuji asks, moving to sit on the couch. He pushed little body all the way back against the cushion and he looked so small that it annoys Sukuna. A baby asking to hold a baby, it was ridiculous. 

“No.”

“Yes.” You say at the same time and Jin laughs, moving to sit the gift bags down as you shoot Sukuna a glare from hell. 

Needless to say you won in the end, passing Sukuna the flowers and moving to help Yuji hold your daughter. Yuji holds his arms out, tongue sticking out in concentration as he tries his best to stay still. You sit next to him and carefully move your daughter to his lap, making sure to adjust her head properly against his arm, his other one holding her legs.

Your hands hover a little before you swallow your anxiety and watch with careful eyes as the toddler looks down at his cousin, eyes wide in amazement when she gives a sleepy smile, pink gum on full display. 

“She likes me!” 

Later that day as the sun fades and dinner has been eaten, you and Yuji sit in front of the tv and play video games while Sukuna stands in the kitchen with Jin who’d been holding his niece for the last twenty minutes, smacking his brother's hand away when he tried to take her. 

Sukuna’s watching you, smitten with how well you were getting along with Yuji and how obvious it was that his nephew liked you more than he probably liked him. He couldn’t blame the kid. You were beautiful, easy to like and he resented you for it. He’d never noticed these things about other women, never stuck around long enough to and here you were uprooting his life and making him break every rule he ever had for himself. 

“You should just tell her.” 

Sukuna snaps his eyes away from you, scowling at his brother before turning to finish washing the dishes. He never fucking washes dishes but here he was. 

“I don’t know what you think you know but fuck off.” 

Jin only laughs and places a kiss on his niece's head, keeping her secured against his chest. “You shouldn’t curse in front of her. You’d be surprised at what babies remember.” 

Sukuna doesn’t respond but Jin keeps talking anyway, because of course he does. He’s one of the few people that isn’t afraid of the 6’5 tatted brute, knowing the person he had been before trauma destroyed him. 

“All I’m saying is that I wish Kaori was still around for me to tell her how much I love her.” The sudden shift in Jin’s voice has Sukuna’s hands slowing as he turns to look at him. Jin was staring at Yuji with sad eyes and a soft smile and he suddenly felt like shit. 

He remembered the day Yuji was born, how happy Jin had been, sending him a picture that he simply hearted and said “Congrats 👍” to. Sukuna was on his way to the hospital the next day to properly meet his nephew when Jin called in hysterics, crying that Kaori had suffered from a postpartum hemorrhage and there was nothing the doctors could do. They were only eighteen and Sukuna was even more hotheaded than he was now, but the sight of his brother drowning in tears left him weak and with an aching chest. 

It was the first time he hugged him since they were children. It was the day he decided he was done with his father who was too "busy" to show up for his son who needed a parent.

“Tell her Ryomen, before it’s too late.”

Later that night, Sukuna is watching you as you two studied together. He had put your daughter to sleep almost an hour ago and when you asked for his help with a code you couldn’t crack, he dragged you to his room where you both were sitting on his bed with your laptops out. Eyes burning from the blue light.

You were so concentrated, face set in a frown as you typed away and blood was rushing in his ears when you looked up at him and smiled softly. You were so beautiful, too beautiful and not close enough. Before he could stop himself, he’s reaching a hand to rub just below your right eye. 

“You had a lash there.” 

Neither of you mention how intimate the act was.

“I will kill you brutally if anything happens to her. Literally cut you in half, do you understand?” Sukuna is standing in the frathouse living room two days later as you waited in the car, passing the carseat that contained his sleeping daughter to Gojo and silently praying that he doesn’t end up regretting this.

No one else was available to watch her. Nanami and Yuki shared the same class you both were heading to, needing to take this exam and not being able to bring your daughter. Jin was back out of town for a business meeting. The only saving grace was that Shoko and Utahime promised to stop by later to check on her. 

“Yeah yeah, I got her. Nothing will happen to my god daughter under my care, I even made sure I didn’t drink last night!”

“That’s the bare minimum.”

“Wow. No appreciation for my sacrifice.”

Sukuna crouched beside the car seat one last time, adjusting her hat and blanket and brushing a finger against her cheek. He really wanted to cancel his exam. He groans, looking his daughter over once more before forcing himself to stand before he changes his mind. 

“Call me if she cries.”

“You’re gonna miss your test, goodbye!” Gojo sings, walking him to the door and closing it in his face. 

To say Gojo was excited would be downplaying it. He was ecstatic, quickly jumping at the opportunity to spend time with his god daughter when Sukuna texted him. He had baby items next-day shipped to the house so he was prepared. A bassinet for his room, a shit ton of ridiculously expensive baby toys, clothes in case she needed it and a baby carrier because he saw a video explaining how babies liked being close to their parents. 

He wasn’t her father obviously, but as her god father he was prepared. Sukuna was giving him a chance and he would be damned if he blew it. He even watched videos on how to properly change a diaper.

Gojo crouched by her carseat and let a silly smile form when he saw she was awake and staring at him with her fathers eyes. “Hello.” 

She yawned and blinked at him slowly and the white haired adult grabbed at his chest and sighed lovingly, moving to unbuckle her from her seat. When he picked her up she stretched and his heart was melting. She was so fucking cute he was going to explode.

“This is the greatest day of my life.” 

Suguru snickers from his spot on the couch, face buried in a book and his headphones halfway on his head. Toji shakes his head from the floor, where he’d been helping little Megumi build blocks. Gojo hated them both. 

He presses your baby to his chest, using one arm to hold her bum and the other to put his hand on her back, holding her to his chest. Despite being the least responsible person in most situations, Gojo was annoyingly good at this. He bounced her lightly, picking up her baby bag and making his way to sit on the floor next to Toji. 

The man glares at him before his eyes soften at the sight of his friend’s baby looking around curiously. Gojo tosses him the baby bag with a smirk, killing the mood. 

“Grab her mat will you?” 

Geto snorts from the couch and Toji clenches his jaw before doing as he was told. He unfolds the little pink mat and lays it on the floor in front of his frat brother that he was trying his best not to tear apart. He really fucking hated him.

Carefully, Gojo lays her on her back, leaning his lanky body over her and smiling like an idiot. He pushes his glasses atop his head and begins making weird faces at her to get her to smile, eyes widening when she sneezes.

 “Bless you.”

The baby blinks at him, and even though Gojo knows she can’t properly see him, he still swears she can. For the next hour, nobody really needed to do anything. Whenever his god daughter got fussy, he’d change her diaper, feed her or he would pick her up and walk around with her. He walked though the house and pointed everything out, explaining that this was a fraternity and: “This is where you were created.” when they passed Sukuna’s room before heading back downstairs.

"And here we see Uncle Suguru pretending to study." He stands in front of the raven haired man, smiling down at him and snuggling your baby closer, who he now had strapped securely into a baby carrier, her cheek pressed against his chest. He looked ridiculous.

"I'm literally studying." Geto lifts a brow, letting his eyes wander to the baby that was entirely too small against Gojo’s towering form. 

"A fascinating creature."

"Piss off Gojo."

When your baby makes a noise, he nods in agreement. "Excellent observation.”

It’s nearly time for her to go when Sukuna sends a text that makes him roll his eyes. 

satan’s spawn: running a little behind. how's she doing? 

gojo: peachy {1 attachment} 

He sends him a picture of his baby who’s currently asleep in Geto’s arms, the man pretending like he’s not smitten with her, forcing himself to hide the smile that keeps fighting its way up. Gojo had reluctantly handed her over after making his friend wash his hands, telling him he’d spread his nasty fucking germs when Geto glared at him like he was offended. 

“She’s drooling on you.” Gojo points out, hand moving forward to push her soft pink hair from her face. 

“I know.” He shrugs. “She’s cute so it's okay.”

They stayed like that for ten minutes, baby sound asleep in Geto’s arm after having a bottle and her frat uncle scrolling through his phone to stop himself from crying. Keeping his hold on her strong, even as his arm started aching.

"Damn." Toji stood with his sleeping son in his arms, looking down at Geto with those dark eyes that seemed to glow at the sight of Sukuna’s daughter.

"What?" Gojo glares, looking ready to start barking like a guard dog and Toji laughs, adjusting Megumi.

"She's cute. Looks just like that fucker.”

Sukuna had texted that he was five minutes away when his arch nemesis Naoya Zenin showed up. The moment he noticed the baby, Gojo's mood soured and Geto held her closer, Toji glaring bullets at his cousin. 

“Oh.” The blonde man tilts his head and smirks, slowly making his way toward the living room, still dressed in his track clothes, oblivious to the way everyone was on guard the moment he walked through the door. 

No one had actually wanted him to join the frat but the Zenin’s had enough influence over the school that they had no choice but to accept him. Toji even changed his last name so he wouldn’t be associated with his family and shitty cousin. No one hated him more than Sukuna though, having been arrested for beating the blonde so badly he broke his nose, after he insulted his twin and nephew. 

So the fact that he was even staring at his child right now was the greatest insult and it would be a fucking problem if Sukuna caught him.

“She’s cute.” He tries to move closer and Toji uses one hand to stop him, giving him a warning glare. 

“Piss off Zenin-”

“Can I hold her?” And Gojo is instantly responding, his fists balled so tight his nails were digging into his palm. He hated this guy almost as much as Sukuna.

“Fuck no.”

Naoya blinked, smug grin wiped off his face as he frowned at the white haired man. “What, why?”

“Because her father hates you, you idiot. Or did you forget when he beat you within an inch of your life?” Toji pushes him back again, ignoring the way his cousin glares at him. 

“That was three years ago! What does that have to do with anything?”

Gojo sighs and runs a hand down his face, his cheeks heating in anger. “Leave before he gets here and actually kills you this time.” 

Naoya huffs, letting a slew of curses fly as he stomps up the stairs, mumbling about brotherhood and grudges. 

Gojo sighed in relief, narrowly preventing a disaster because if Sukuna somehow found out he'd let Naoya Zenin around his daughter?

Well.

Let’s just say Gojo enjoyed being alive.

One month later

Your daughter was six weeks old now and you were starting to feel more like yourself. You were going to campus a lot more, sometimes with your baby in tow if Sukuna had classes as well. More often than not, your friends, brother or Jin watched her when they could. 

You and Sukuna had grown closer too, especially since he had refused to attend any frat parties after his fuck up when your daughter was only a week old. Sukuna, with all his flaws, hardly ever made the same mistake twice. 

He started being softer with you as well. Making you a cup of coffee before your morning lectures, carrying you to bed when you’d fall asleep on the couch, texting you and apologizing whenever he was running late as soccer season was coming up and he was practicing a lot more. 

It made you crave him at an unhealthy level. So when your doctor gave you the green light for sex, you were dropping your daughter off at Shoko and Utahime’s place before Sukuna got home from practice, ensuring your baby had enough milk and diapers to last for the night and next morning. 

You were showered, your entire body scented in the perfume you knew he liked, dressed in a short night gown that did almost nothing to hide your braless tits and watching tv on the couch when he walked in. You tensed up at the sight of him in sweats, soccer cleats still on, compression shirt peeking through his sweater. His hair was tousled and he looked so fucking masculine and delicious, you had to squeeze your legs to soothe the forming ache. 

He didn’t even notice you until he was closing the door and turning, his frown fading into a smirk at the sight of you. 

“Something special happening today?” He hums, dropping his bag by the door, removing his shoes and jacket before moving closer to you. 

You stand up, wiping your sweaty palms down the silk brushing against your skin and nod. Your nerves were shot and you felt like throwing up. Would he even want to have sex with you? He’d seen you at your worst, hair a mess, baby puke on your oversized shirt, eyes bloodshot from a lack of sleep. Had he somehow lost his attraction to you in the six weeks since becoming parents?

“Y-yes.” You clear your throat when he tilts his head and raises a brow, waiting for you to continue, tired eyes dropping to your lips and then your chest. You bite your bottom lip and look around aimlessly, ears burning from the attention. 

“Where’s (daughter’s name)?” 

“With my friends for the night.” You respond fast and grip the sides of your night gown before letting go. 

You hadn’t really planned this, just hoped he would see the dress and make the first move. You were painfully awkward since giving birth and it had been so long since he fucked you that you were left looking and feeling like a virigin idiot.

“Right..” He slowly nods, moving toward you until he was close enough to reach a hand out and take yours. “So?”

“So?” You whisper, staring at him with glossy eyes and stars bursting behind them. He always left you starstruck and you hated it, especially because he laughs at you and it’s low, deep and sends butterflies straight to your pussy.

“Did you need something from me?” He’s pulling you closer by the hand he’s holding, stopping when you’re just shy of touching his chest, and you can feel your nipples hardening, unfiltered lust burning through your body. 

Once you look up at him it’s like you’re trapped in a hypnotizing spell because you can’t look away, your pupils dilate at the sight of this man towering over, the smell of his soap filling your nostrils and you can’t remember how to speak so you nod your head yes. 

He smirks, hand moving to cup your chin, thumb rubbing across your bottom lip as he tilts your head further back. “Yeah? Use your words then, pretty girl. Can’t read your mind.” 

You groan in annoyance because you know that he knows what you want and the teasing was merely for his entertainment. You can tell by the stupid smirk on his stupid, annoyingly attractive face.

“I-I went to see my doctor..” 

He swallows hard, pulling you completely against his chest as his eyes fall to your lips. “Hmm, and what did they say?” 

“Well.. it’s been six weeks and-” You clear your throat, face growing hot because why was he doing this to you? You wanted to scream. At him for being an ass and yourself for being a coward.

“And?” He’s moving his hand to grip the back of your neck, moving closer with a shit eating grin, before letting it travel further down, the tip of his fingers dragging across your skin and leaving goosebumps in its path. He played with the straps of your nightgown, waiting for you to answer. You sighed and arched against him. 

“Please don’t play stupid.” You whisper, hands coming up to grip his shirt, looking at him with a frustrated glare as your cunt grows wetter by the second. 

“I’m not-” 

Fuck it! You stand on your toes and crash your lips against his and it takes him a few seconds before he’s pushing back against you, hands moving to grip your ass and pull you impossibly closer. His tongue is dancing with yours, your spit is mixing and you’re moaning like a needy whore before he’s even inside of you. 

His hands are moving so gently against your body and you don’t need that right now. You need him to treat you the way he did the night he got you pregnant, to use your body to get both you and himself off him. To feel him stretching and pounding you again. It’s been too long and you were about to burst with need.

Your groan in frustration against his mouth, hand moving to grip his cock through his sweatpants and smirking when you find he’s already hard. He sucked in a sharp breath and took your tongue into his mouth, sucking until he’s satisfied, letting go and biting your bottom lip. 

“Mmm, I think I know what you need."

“Then stop fucking teasing me and give it to me.” 

He’s smacking your ass and pulling you back against him and your head is spinning with lust. “Ask nicely and maybe I will.” 

You’re not above begging, not when it comes to the goliath of a man standing over you. You would gladly grovel and drop to your knees if it meant feeling him inside of you again. You rubbed your tits against him, relishing in the way he tightens his jaw and glares at you, squeezing your hips in warning. 

“Pleaseee Ryo- need you to fuck me so bad. It’s been so long, please-”

Sukuna slams his lips back on yours because while you were weak for him, he was utterly ruined when it came to you. He was so hooked on you, imagining all the ways he’d fuck you since you left that hospital and really you didn’t have to beg because he knew from the moment he walked through the door and seen that slutty piece of fabric you called a night gown, he would be bending you over that couch and taking what was his.

He was just an asshole and loved to hear you beg for him, proof that you were just as obsessed with him as he was with you. That he wasn’t the only one feeling this gravitational pull between you two and he was tired of ignoring it.

Your gown was gone in a flash and his cock grew rock hard at the sight of you completely bare beneath it. He was so fucking whipped for you that it took all his strength not to drop to the floor and eat your pussy right there.

“Such a slutty girl. All of this for me, babe?” He spins you around and pulls you against his chest, grinding his cock into your ass and you’re moaning so beautifully that he can’t control himself. Can't wait.

“Bend over the couch for me, yeah?” He grips your ass and bites at your neck hard, using his tongue to soothe it over when you gasp in pain. 

You nod and do as he says, your hands gripping the arm of the couch as you bend over and gasp as he stands behind you, not as close as you want but close enough to let his hand run down your ass, fingers moving between your legs until he was rubbing them down your wet cunt. 

He groaned at the way your juices coated his finger and he was just a fucking a man, a weak one at that because he was dropping to his knees and wasting no time. Sukuna had never been so desperate in his life, it was almost embarrassing. 

His face was between your legs and he was licking you from hole to clit, groaning in annoyance when he couldn’t quite reach where he wanted. He was moving his face back, hands grabbing your hips before he was spinning you again, ignoring your surprised gasp and throwing one of your legs over his shoulder. 

“Perfect.” He stares at your cunt like a crazed man and you're throwing your head back as he sucks on your clit, using one hand to pull you tight against his face and the other to push two fingers inside of you. 

“S’good, mmm s’sweet.” 

He’s eating you like a mad man, like he was on death row and you were the last meal he’d requested. He moves his head in circles, his nose brushing against your cunt and he’s inhaling like your scent gives him life. 

“Ryo! Oh my fucking god, w-whaaat- huuuuh- are you d-doing to me?” Electricity is buzzing in your veins and he’s eating you so, so good that you already feel like coming, grinding your hips against his face, growing more attracted at the sight of his tats. 

He’s looking through your soul and his red eyes look like they’re glowing, like your juices were giving him strength and you swear you he’s smirking even if he’s too busy sucking your clit like his life depended on it. 

“NGGHHHH, just like that! Don’t s-sstop!” Your stomach is twisting, your legs are shaking and you’re experiencing pure ecstasy, hands gripping and pulling his hair and he’s encouraging you with the hottest moans. 

When he moves his tongue to your hole and slurps, you’re squirting all over his face and he’s laughing against you while you experience a soul crushing orgasm. He just closes his eyes and sucks your clit hard, helping you ride through your high, ignoring his own aching cock because nothing satisfies him more than getting you off. 

When your leg drops from his shoulder, he licks around his lips and wipes his face as he stands and catches your limp body, pulling you against him as you breathed heavy in an attempt to catch your breath. 

“Not done with you.” 

You don’t protest when he carries you bridal style to his room and gently lies you on your bed. You don’t notice him stripping down to nothing, stroking his leaking cock as he walks to the bed and crawls over you, grabbing your legs and hooking them over his shoulders. 

He’s groaning louder than he ever has as he slowly pushes into you, grabbing your chin and squeezing, telling you: “Open your fucking eyes baby, look at me. Please.” and you’re still not used to hearing Sukuna beg but he does and it’s only ever for you.

He’s only got the tip in, pressing his forehead to yours and being sure to keep his eyes on you with every slow stroke. He’s loving the way you squirm beneath him, telling him he’s too big but he knows you can take it because you were made for him, body sculpted by the gods to take his cock so fucking perfectly. 

He smiles at you, genuinely, cock throbbing from the way your walls squeeze around him but for Sukuna this is more than sex. You were his life force and he would die if he couldn’t experience this every day for the rest of his pathetic life.  

“S’pefect, all mine.” His hand is cupping your cheek and for the first time, he’s the one with hearts exploding behind his eyes.

With each slam of his hips he’s pushing your body up the bed, headboard slamming against the wall and the sound of the bed creaking mixing with the sound of your combined breathy moans was so filthy, so fucking hot that he couldn’t breathe properly. 

This feeling was deeper than euphoric, the way you’re refusing to look away, arms coming to wrap around his neck and pull his lips to yours. He’s kissing you so sweetly and Sukuna’s never been this soft in his life but with you it feels so right, so natural.

Sukuna shaking as a foreign feeling fills his body and he recalls what Jin told him all those weeks ago. Just tell her and his tongue is tied because he’s never spoken those words to a woman before , so he’s pushing deeper into you, moving his hips in circles, dragging his cock in and out, your gummy walls pulsing around him.

He wasn’t good at feelings but he was good at fucking. 

He places his head between your neck and shoulder, littering your burning skin with kisses, trying his best to show you what he can’t tell you because he was a coward. The way your hands are dragging down his back, nails digging into his skin, has him feral. He’s pounding into you faster, moving his hands above your head to grip the sheets and lifting his body so he can watch you come undone. 

“Taking me so well, sweets, tight pussy is basically choking me. You miss me that bad?” He’s being cocky again and you obviously love it with the way your eyes shine, tears spilling out the corners as you moan like a pornstar and throw your head back. 

Sukuna’s hands are shaking and he’s fucking into you harder, watching your tits bounce and his chest growing tight at how beautiful you are. He should be focusing on reaching his high but he’s too busy noticing things about you. Like the small freckles on your neck, so light you’d have to be staring hard to see it. The way you always bite your lip when you’re close or how you have a birth mark right beneath your left ear. 

He’s so incredibly fucked, and he loves it- he loves-

“I love you. I love you so fucking much.” It spills out before he can stop it and his heart is thumping, thumping, thumping. 

Your eyes are wide, moans growing soft as you stare at him in disbelief and Sukuna is so scared that you don’t feel the same but he also doesn’t care because he finally said it. Admitting it to himself and you and it felt so good. You felt so good. 

Your hand moves to his hair and you pull him back to you, his hips stutter as his orgasm approaches and your lips are brushing his, eyes locked on him as the world revolves around only you two. Spinning just for this moment to take place.

“I love you too, Ryomen.” 

And he’s blinking back tears before kissing you again, squeezing your ass as he reaches his peak and he’s spilling into you at the same time as you clench around him. You're both moaning into each other's mouth, not kissing but breathing each other's air. His cum is leaking out of you and dripping onto the sheets, his hips slowing down as he pushes the last of his load into you. And then you're both kissing again and Sukuna knows everything is going to change after this night because he has never, never loved anyone the way that he loves you.