* ( ! ) 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆.

finally finding the right room, deshaun cracks open the door. in getting to the hospital, he'd been all nerves, rushing down the hallways as he searched for the number the staff had told him. but now that he's there, he's terrified. he keeps trying to reassure himself—she was okay, she wasn't dead—but it doesn't do much. taking a deep breath, he steps inside. "clem?" he says softly, eyes immediately catching on the bed.

battered, bruised, and semi-broken, clem lay staring at the ceiling, attempting to toy with the beeps of her heart monitor. it's a shame she can't get it to play something like twinkle, twinkle, little star or literally anything that isn't the same incessant pattern and just when she thinks she's toeing the edge of insanity, a familiar voice saves her. movements are slow, catering to her injuries. ❝ hey there, honey, ❞ her greeting is returned at the same volume and she offers a bright smile, desperate to keep things light for the sake of her friend. ❝ i'm so happy to see you! ❞ for a moment, she was scared she wouldn't have the opportunity to do so again. ❝ don't be shy; come, sit. ❞

I Will Tell this Story to the Sun Until You Remember that You are the Sun, Erin Slaughter

"I don't want to be selfish, at least not with you," she responded quietly. If there was one person in the world who had been there for her, through thick and thin, it was Clem. Aranya would always think so highly of her, always wanting to put her first. "I think out of everyone in the world, you deserve to be happy. I hate to think that I'd upset you." She lets out a sigh, before speaking again. "I'm really clingy, you know? Even if you wanted to let me go, I wouldn't let you. You're stuck with me forever, Clemmy," she added in an attempt to clear the air, offering her friend a lighthearted but genuine smile. "You said that you think you're dull, but you're like... the most magical person in the world to me. I may not really like Kage, but if he makes you happy and if he helps you see yourself the way that you deserve to be seen, then I support your choice. Always."

she wants to argue her viewpoint, but she knows if the roles were switched, her responses would be similar to the ones aranya continues to provide. eventually, she shakes her head and says, ❝ in all our years, i've never once been upset with you, honey. ❞ whether it be her own bias or simply her best friend's way of being, she knows the other is incapable of making her so and it'd be impossible to convince her otherwise. ❝ is it really being stuck if i'm willing to put in the work to make sure you're with me forever? ❞ because she was, willing to put in the work. they were soulmates, no matter which life. aranya's immediate support brings forth another twinge of guilt and she wishes it were that simple for herself, for ari's sake. however, instead of continuing to dwell, she paints a look of shock, directing her focus elsewhere. ❝ how did you know who it is!? have you been watching me? was i that obvious? ❞

"maybe?" he laughs at her reaction. "i dunno, clem, it's just an estimation. we'll just have to see how it plays out. hell, maybe the longhorns lose and everyone's enthusiasm tanks so bad the place clears out!" at her suggestion, deshaun nods his head. "usual is fine. i'll try to find something not so...people-y." he shakes his head, turning towards the room only to realize the herculean task he's set for himself. eventually, he finds a couple of chairs tucked out of the way, slipping into one as he waits.

❝ go! get your bad juju outta here! ❞ using her elbow, she nudges him playfully before weaving through the crowd towards the bar. she doesn't know how long it takes for the bartender to serve her, but with drinks finally in tow, it doesn't take her long to spot him. clem can find him anywhere, even in the midst of a busy crowd. upon arrival, she presents their drinks and slides into the chair beside him with a huff. ❝ i'm so glad work allows me to be a hermit because my battery is drained. seriously, don't expect to see me for the next two weeks, at least---and before you ask why i even bothered to show up, the answer is spite. ❞ at least, it was originally. ❝ but i'm also having my own bit of fun. ❞ though not at all because of the game.

She wished she could live in a world where she could tell Clem how happy Malachi had made her. But she knew it wouldn't be fair. Not to her best friend. Their views on him were on entirely opposite ends of the spectrum, and maybe it was just something she'd have to accept. She feels silly for getting emotional, knowing that as sensitive of a person as she was, Aranya didn't like to cry in front of others. She didn't like the idea of burdening someone with her own insecurities, let alone Clem of all people. "It's not your fault, Clem. It really isn't," she says softly, letting her wipe away the stray tears. "I just... I don't want you to leave me. And we've never really dealt with something like this, and I just keep feeling like it's my fault for it. I wish I could choose, but I'm selfish." It was the perfect word for how she viewed herself in this situation. Selfish. Because she wanted them both. "I don't know how to have you both of my life and not feel guilty about it. But maybe... you're right. Maybe not talking about him is for the best." She wrapped her pinky around Clem's, feeling heavy still despite what they'd talked about.

❝ i'm not going anywhere. ❞ her response is spoken in a way that leaves no room for doubt because it's a matter of fact for clem. ❝ and it's okay to be selfish. sometimes it's even necessary, so you don't need to feel guilty with me. i'll always accept you as you are, ari, and that.. that even extends to the people you choose. ❞ she tightens her grip around her friend's pinky before releasing, ❝ granted, the way i accept your plus ones may vary, and this one will take me some time, but nothing'll ever come between us because i won't let it. ❞ she doesn't mind reassuring her of that a million times over if preferred. clem intends to prove it, too. ❝ plus, if it's any consolation, you're not the biggest fan of my choice either from what i remember. ❞ the circumstances are different, of course, but that's beside the point.

"i know you can't help it." he shakes his head, grinning. "uh...because that sounds like something guaranteed to drive you insane? i know i'd go nuts." he wipes a hand across the table, setting the salt and pepper shakers back where they had come from. "they very well could go overtime—that second one's a good matchup. we ain't gettin' outta here before midnight, i'll just say that," he laughs. his smile widens at the endearment and he ducks his head, nodding. "all goin' well so far. night's still young, though." he glances at the bar. "how about you? grab a drink and talk about it?"

eyes widen and she stills. ❝ midnight? ❞ clem doesn't sleep, certainly never at night, but the thought of being anywhere that isn't curled up at home ( with kage and their fur babies, if she's lucky ) during those hours is nearly too much. more importantly, however, her heart goes out to the players onscreen. her eyes flick upwards, just in time to catch a glimpse of the night's hometown hero making a play, ❝ oh, those poor babies. i hope their athletic departments are kind to them and their recoveries. ❞ the raven's body softens at his suggestion and nods her agreement. ❝ please, i'd like that a lot. why don't you go find a spot, hm? i'll drop these off, ❞ she holds up the dirty shot glasses she's collected, ❝ and grab us something, then i'll find you. stickin' to the usual tonight or are we feelin' a lil' adventurous? ❞

she looks to the other, flabbergasted, as a hand covers her mouth momentarily. ❝ excuse me, what is this slander? i would never do such a thing! ❞ it's true, of course, but she also knows the sort of mother her friend is, which is partly why she doesn't fret when her glass is. the other reason being that clem doesn't make a habit of drinking, being something of a lightweight---and preferring to keep herself aware of her surroundings---tends to keep her sober. ❝ if you're looking to get drunk, i'm afraid you'll be disappointed if you steal mine. ❞ she flashes a proud smile, ❝ that mojito's a virgin. ❞ the raven turns away, gently catching the bartender's attention, ❝ but go 'head and order what you'd like, dear. i think you've earned a lil' R&R. ❞

"You said I was your person, Clem, but I don't think that's true. I feel like I'm just something you want to push away right now, another reason you can tell yourself that you're the bad guy. But I love you. I love you with everything in me and it's breaking me. It's breaking me that things don't feel normal between us, and it's breaking me that I know it's my fault. I've never been upset with you, because I'm upset with myself. I made this entire mess. When I look at him, sometimes all I can hear is your voice, all I can remember is that he hurt you so badly. And I hate myself because the same person that hurt you makes me happy." She hated the gnawing feeling every day, guilty of her own happiness, guilty that she'd been with him in the first place. And hearing Clem's words, only made her worst fear come true. Everyone she loved would leave her, including the one person she'd never thought would. Tears that once pooled her eyes spilled down her face, and what she felt right now wasn't comparable to anything she'd ever felt before. "I haven't pushed you away once, but it feels like that's what you want me to do. It feels like you pulled yourself away from me the minute I told you, and I wanted to cling to the idea that things would be okay for us."

❝  i didn’t realise that’s how i was making you feel, though. i’m sorry, ari,  ❞  the apology finally comes as the top of her hand lifts the other’s chin, making it easier for her to wipe the fallen tears without messing up the work that had been put into her makeup.  ❝  i can’t guarantee things won’t change,  ❞  unfortunately, that was also something inevitable,  ❝  but you and i will always be okay, i'm sure of it---and i promise that from now on, besides no longer bringing him up, i won’t make assumptions anymore either.  ❞  her hands drop, the napkin soon wadded in the hand at her side while the other one offers an outstretched pinky,  ❝  deal?  ❞

For the first time, she couldn't bring herself to return Clem's smile. She loved Clem, with her entire heart. But it would be a lie if she didn't also say she was falling for Malachi. And all of this couldn't help but make her feel like the way she felt was secondary. That this was Clem and Malachi's story, and she was simply the side character that would take the brunt of the pain. A part of her wants to get upset, and tell Clem that she isn't the only person that's been burned by a relationship before. That this grudge she was holding against an ex-boyfriend wouldn't change what happened. Aranya knew it better than anyone else, the girl who had put her trust in so many people only for them to leave her. "I need some air," she let out quietly, the stack of plates in her hands heavy, wanting nothing more than to drop them off in the kitchen and run outside.

words trail for a moment as she leans on the table, eating away some of the distance between them,  ❝  it’s reminding me that i’m fucking watercolour, ari. dull and easy to wash off, and i’m sorry that i can’t turn off my feelings or my own sense of inferiority. trust me, if i could, i wouldn’t hesitate so that i could make this whole thing easier---for both of us---but for now, i just need some time to be a dramatic bitch, so please.. please just give me a bit and i’ll do my best to go back to being the supportive friend you need, okay?  ❞  clem reaches forward, retrieving the plates in aranya’s hands,  ❝ i don’t blame you for being upset with me, and i won’t blame you if you distance yourself from me for a bit. i meant it when i said you were valid, ari. there will never be a moment where i think you aren’t, so go ahead take all the time you need; i promise my door will always be open.  ❞

Aranya found herself in the mix between the bar and a table with Malachi, his attention on the game making her stick to the latter more than the former. She didn't really mind though, on her way for another drink when she noticed Clem, eyeing someone attempting to give her their order. "What are you doing cleaning up by yourself? Here let me help," she spoke with a smile, leaning down and picking up a few discarded plates. She could barely pay attention to the game anyways, only able to ever catch the scoreboard moving up on occasion. "I didn't expect it to get so crazy in here, it feels like the entire town showed up to support, uh… what's his name, Carl? Carson?"

her attention finally lifts, now focusing on aranya, and she wears a heartfelt smile, ❝ i love you more than life and you'll always be my person, i just didn't think it'd be right for me not to be honest with you about that, especially after you'd asked me to tell you if it bothers me. ❞ after saying her piece, clem wastes no time swapping back to their original topic, ❝ it's really nice, though! the way everyone showed up, and seems to be showing out, to support colson---and thank you, for helpin' me when you didn't need to. ❞