GONE GIRL RP PROMPT.
from the film.
when i think of my wife, i always think of her head.
the primal questions of a marriage: what are you thinking? how are you feeling?
what have we done to each other?
pour me a bourbon, would you?
iām so crazy, stupid happy!
whose beer am i drinking?
iĀ prefer men who are funny, not āfunnyā.
thatās code for āi hate strong womenā.
you know i have to kiss you now.
i would be a fool to let you walk through a sugar storm unkissed.
go home, fuck her brains out, then smack her with your penis: some wood for you, bitch!
you are way too into that cat.
we understand there are concerns about your wife/husband/partner?
iām not someone who hits the panic button but ā itās weird, right?
you mind if we look around?
now you can say you came. and in 10 minutes, weāll leave.
perfect. time for a quick tour of all my failings.
i love your parents, but they can be assholes.
people want to hear from you.
i thought thatād be embarrassing.
i love having strangers pick at my scabs.
i am here in a strictly journalistic capacity.
and ā fun fact for our readers ā you have a world class vagina.
my colleagues inform me that as yet, you are not married. isnāt it time we fixed that?
heās just playing with his phone. playing, like⦠tetris.
if this girl doesnāt show up⦠this could get out of hand.
letās stay on our toes.
given the scene in the house and given our spike in violent crime of late, weāre going to take this very, very seriously.
sorry. i felt like i was in a law and order episode for a second. bum-BUM.
is she kinda⦠standoffish?⦠ivy league?
sir, donāt take that tone with me.
heās always been a misogynist asshole.
everyone told us ā and told us, and told us ā marriage is hard work.
abandon all hope, ye who enter.
technically, weāre supposed to fuck at the next stop.
weāve never fucked in a bookstore.
i dragged you into the ladiesā room on our second date.
books, sex, bourbon. life is good.
sometimes i want to punch us in the face, weāre so cute.
everyone knows ācomplicatedā is code for bitch.
just because i donāt love her, doesnāt mean i donāt care about her. iām really scared.
you want to look like youāve been up all night.
thatās a weird thing to say.
when youāre upset, you bottle it up. you can seem⦠angry⦠like ā
great. iāll try to balance on the exact edge of your emotional razor.
i knew you shouldnāt have moved back here.
we care about her. we love her, and we want her back.
we filed a restraining order.
itāll help us track her movements before she disappeared - where she went, who she mightāve seenā¦
maybe iāll teach you a thing or two.
i think iāve done a pretty good job.
letās swear we will never be like them.
we have each other ā everything else is background noise.
this is where you say 'everything else is background noiseā.
i come by once a week, make sure the place hasnāt burnt down.
picture me: iām a girl who is very bad. i need to be punished, and by punished, i mean had.
open the door, and look alive.
want to test your marriage for weak spots? add one recession. subtract two jobs.
i felt like i needed to shoot something.
right, i forgot. you can give your parents $879,000 without asking me, but god forbid i buy legend of zelda without your permission.
thatās the basic tenet of a prenup, right?
why are you throwing that in my face again?
i donāt know how to not have a job.
now, iām beholden to you.
suddenly, i knew everything was about to get worse.
oh look, heās being a good guy so we can all see him be a good guy.
you really donāt like him.
you have to keep up your strength.
iām asking you nicely - please delete that photo.
you canāt share that with anyone.
it looked like you were having fun.
this place literally smells like faeces.
iām going to go benadryl myself to sleep.
i feel like i could disappear.
iāve been so worried about you.
you gotta pick up when i call you ā where the hell have you been?!
can you at least say you love me?
i love you. but, sweetheart, we have to be real careful right now.
you told me i needed to have my own life.
iĀ need you. now. touch me.
did you leave a pair of red panties in my office? lacy?
iāll have to check my red-panty inventory.
you told me you were going to get a divorce.
never say that out loud again.
i donāt want to fight. i just want to be with you.
he uses me for sex when he wants. otherwise, i donāt exist.
last night, i went from desperate to pathetic.
do our code: no bullshit.
we could have had this fight four hours ago.
youāre really going to walk out now?! youāre such a coward!
someone should burn this place.
you fucking asshole. you liar. you fucking lied to my fucking face.
youāve been lying to me for over a year.
god, itās so fucking small. youāre a liar and a cheat.
i thought writers hated cliches.
wah, boohoo, i got laid off. guess iāll fuck a 20-year-old.
i canāt figure out what the fuck they mean.
weāre dealing with a 20-year-old who isnāt sure where she leaves her undies.
free spirit is code for stupid.
just because the guy isnāt weeping, doesnāt mean heās not hurting.
the hallmark of a sociopath is lack of empathy.
are you trying to tell me that this photo is remotely in the realm of acceptable behaviour?
a picture is worth a thousand words. ever heard that phrase?
iām so sick of being picked apart by women.
for valentineās day, i thought iād buy a gun.
iām being paranoid. crazy. iād just sleep better with a gun.
if someone were staging a crime scene, why mop up blood?
a pool of blood and no body suggests homicide.
why have you kept this stuff? itās like a little box of hate.
you know how hard it is to make a murder case without a body? itās incredibly difficult. so i want one last thing⦠i want a body.
sometimes, the way he looks at me? this man of mine may kill me.
iām so much happier now that iām dead.
he took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money.
he took and took from me until i no longer existed. thatās murder. let the punishment fit the crime.
to fake a convincing murder, you have to have discipline.
america loves pregnant women. as if itās so hard to spread your legs.
you know what is hard? faking a pregnancy.
you need to bleed. you need to clean.
men always use 'cool girlā as the defining compliment, donāt they?
go ahead! cum on me! i donāt mind, iām cool girl.
i waited years for the pendulum to swing the other way ā for men to read jane austen and make out while we leer.
i will admit: for someone who likes to win, itās tempting to be the girl every guy wants.
for him, i was willing to try.
i wax-stripped my pussy raw and blew him regularly.
i forged the man of my dreams.
he actually expected me to love him unconditionally.
he doesnāt get to fucking win.
grown-ups work for things. grown-ups pay. grown-ups suffer consequences.
sheās framing me for her murder.
you are married to a psychopath.
your problem is just beginning.
does missouri have the death penalty?
as long as you donāt own a python and blast death metal at 4am, weāre gonna be best friends.
thatās the most disgusting thing iāve ever heard.
are you laughing me out of your building?
this is why i have a $100,000 retainer ā because i win unwinnable cases.
so far, this is a he-said-she-said.
i havenāt had a date in almost a decade because if a girl googles me? bye-bye.
if i could make up a girl, this would be the fucking girl.s
he framed you with the ties you wouldnāt wear.
can you imagine being almost 30 years old and never having had anything go wrong for you?
iām serious. i will not say a word against that girl.
i canāt imagine what sheās got in store for you.
the whole thing just feels⦠easy. like finding an envelope marked CLUE.
ever heard that phrase - the simplest answer is often correct?
whatever the hell they found, we have to assume itās very bad.
heās nice because he wants to fuck you.
iām not sad. iām angry.
iĀ was going to kill myself. can you believe that?
why should i die? iām not the asshole.
itās a ticking time bomb. you gotta throw yourself on it.
a guy admitting heās a giant asshole? people love that stuff.
looks like youāve done a good job.
whereās the money, sweetheart?
youāve hiding. i donāt know why, and i donāt care.
i donāt think youāve ever really been hit.
next place, be more careful, okay? lot of people out there worse than us.
every time you look smug or annoyed or tense, iām going to hit you with a jellybean.
why are you so good to me?
why is it that when i need someone to save me, i always think of you?
oh my god. you little slut.
sheās the girl with the giant cum-on-me tits.
come. youāre staring at ghosts.
seriously, i canāt believe how fucking good you were.
you are so good to me. and i am so exhausted.
youāll be very safe. i wonāt let you get away again.
you scared me. donāt do that. i need to feel safe.
you were never under my thumb.
you are the best person i have ever known.
they disliked me, they liked me, they hated me, and now they love me.
whenever you said something stupid, i thought 'maybe heās just stupidā. i was wrong.
none of this is mine - none of this was put here by me.
i need some time to think.
thatās the last thing you need.
iām not going to force myself on you.
i just want you to be you again.
want to play a little true or false?
you thought quinoa was a fish?
you mustāve bled quite a bit there.
howād she get the box cutter if she was always tied up?
i just said what you wanted to hear.
thatās how well you know me! you know me in your marrow.
iām a fighter. i fought my way back to you.
you begged for me to save your life. and i obliged.
the media will destroy you.
give it the night. sleep on it.
if two people love each other and canāt make it work, thatās the real tragedy.
you canāt live in the same house as that spider.
mess with it, theyāll come looking for blood.
we had the national spotlight on us, and we stained the rug.
i swear to god, you two are the most fucked-up people iāve ever known. and i specialise in fucked up.
iām the definition of 'at riskā.
remember: donāt turn your back.
iād never hurt you. i do need you to participate though. thatās fair, right?
tell the truth and shame the devil.
fuck it. let everyone take sides.
we are toxic. we complete each other in the sickest possible way.
you think you could ever be with a nice, normal woman?
i complete you. iām the only one who can.
stay with me and i will make you happy. you know i can. iāve killed for you.
youāre breaking my heart.
what have we done to each other? what will we do?