“Grief will keep you reaching back / for what is not there”

Ah, mon chéri, mon amour, my handsome love, you, you! You, with the peace you bring me, the life you fill me with, your greatness that rubs off on me, and the kindness and the demons you instill in me! You, and life! Don’t leave me! Keep me always by your side! Don’t let me leave. I don’t want to die! Ah, I’m afraid of this terrible need that you’ve become to me, this vital need that you are for me! I’m afraid. The bond that unites two beings is so fragile. The obstacles on our path are so great! And I need you so much! Come! Come quickly and take me in your arms, speak to me, calm me, cherish me. Tell me, tell me again and always that you need me and you’ll always need me, you’ll need my presence by your side! Give me back my reason for living and my appetite for life! I don’t know anymore if I love you. I think it’s more than that and I’m a bit terrified. Guide me. Help me. Give me your hand to lead me. I can only find myself within you. Help me, I beg you. Force me if you have to, but let me hear you, so I’ll finally know that you know that I belong to you. I know I’m a heavy burden to bear. Are you still willing to keep me beside you?