Welcome to The Escape~

⭐️I’m not ‘wavering’ anymore!⭐️

I’m going to open up about my feelings and struggles with creative block. It’s been ongoing for a long, long time. Usually, it only lasts a month or so, but this one has been long, intense and worrisome.

I can track the cause to many things: the failure of art school for animation, the extreme burnout caused by a very stressful and toxic environment in my tattooing days, undiagnosed neurodivergence, physical pain and medical issues, a lifetime of traumas, an ongoing lack of self care, and now- a feeling that I have no time, wasted all my time or am running out of time.

Phew, that’s a lot, huh? Well, I’m not writing all of this for sympathy. I’m healing, doing everything I can to move on and heal.

Now? I just want to create. I want to make things again. I want to draw, design, animate, whatever it was I once had so much passion for.

Step one is finding the source of the pain. Step two is relieving the pain.

It’s awfully hard to be creative when you’re in pain. I was going through so much for so long and depression definitely hit. I fell out of practice and a body at rest stays in rest.

Now I’m reading books and watching videos on how to get out of this rut. My life has improved so much, so I get frustrated. I’m happy, so why can’t I just sit down and draw? I used to be able to draw as effortlessly as breathing.

Just because everything is so good now, doesn’t mean the past doesn’t hurt you anymore.

I hope to get back into the swing of things soon. I really do. My desire is there and it’s burning- a good sign! Desire is passion. I will draw again. I will get back into it and I will be better than ever before.

JOSEPH, NO!!!

I doodled a little something for Narancia’s birthday!!

hello, I’m sorry for the sobfest I’m about to write, but I’ve been going through it.

Right now, one of my family members are in a hospital.

I’ve been sick for almost a week, just starting to pick back up again.

My shitty old art collage decided I didn’t pay enough this month, when I gave them a little more than they asked for actually and have billed me $105 more dollars.

I now have no money left in my bank. I’m looking for a job, but growing impatient as I’m finding it harder and harder to pay my bills.

If you’re able, you can tip me or donate on my kofi, but I am still taking commissions if you’d like some art! I’ve been slower than I’d like to be, but I’m trying so hard.

For the future (when I find the time)

Doodled Ringabel from Bravely Default as my morning warmup today!

I’ve not been feeling good, so have some GyJo! 💚🩵💚🩵💚

bonus: the process!⬇️

GUYS.

I drew Johnny and Gyro from memory (5 min challenge) and they look so cartoony and cute like this.

I couldn’t remember if this place supported .png files lol but I’m so glad it does!!

Go, my chibi cowboys!!

Bonus: Chibi Slow Dancer and Valkyrie!!

Whatever. Go, my chibi Bucci gang!!