Would you mind if I hurt you?

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

We can get through this somehow.

I think so… we can… *holds him tighter, almost painfully*

We really can. *makes no indication it hurts*

I love you.

I love you a whole bunches.

*actually smiles a little and kisses him*

*smiles into the kiss* Ron ever think you are less than the best thing to ever happen to me.

*holds his face and stares into his eyes, finger stroking his cheekbome* My beautiful and brace husband.

Brave?

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

We can get through this somehow.

I think so… we can… *holds him tighter, almost painfully*

We really can. *makes no indication it hurts*

I love you.

I love you a whole bunches.

*actually smiles a little and kisses him*

*smiles into the kiss* Ron ever think you are less than the best thing to ever happen to me.

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

We can get through this somehow.

I think so… we can… *holds him tighter, almost painfully*

We really can. *makes no indication it hurts*

I love you.

I love you a whole bunches.

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

We can get through this somehow.

I think so… we can… *holds him tighter, almost painfully*

We really can. *makes no indication it hurts*

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

We can get through this somehow.

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

You're the caretaker. You needed a caretaker. I couldn't switch roles with you. I just couldn't.

*sighs and hugs him to his chest*

Im trying to figure everything out.

*he just nods, holding him and quietly sitting there as pain just keeps washing over him*

*turns around and pulls Billie against his chest, petting his hair*

*lets himself curls into him*

*starts to rock him lightly*

*sobs softly* I hate that you haven’t been happy. I’m sorry.

Its not you. It's a lot of things. Really. Im sorry you're struggling.

I feel like I’ve failed everyone. That I don’t ever stop failing.

*whispers* Failing at what though? These expectations you have really don't exist.

I haven’t kept you happy. I couldn’t keep elsie together. Couldn’t stop isaac from dying or Aurora from trying to murder her fucking family. Couldn’t control lucifer so he didn’t tear apart my fucking family and my life.

How are any of those your responsibilities? I mean... its nice to try to do those things but you're not the only one responsible. Like I'm not happy because I'm jealous not because of you.

Of course I am. Elsie is insane with grief as is Landon. I’m the o my one out of the family mature enough and strong enough to try and keep them together. I was taking over security and I couldn’t stop a murder that finished five minutes after my shift. And you’re my husband. I’ve kept you from being happy and feeling loved for fucking months.

But they are adults that have to process their grief and if they fall apart it's only Auroras doing for hurting them. I'm serious. And Landon hasn't stopped murders every time. You were killed on his watch. Its a huge job. He loves you and he is so kind to me. You didn't keep me unhappy. Is was my own lack of virtue. Please believe me.

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

You're the caretaker. You needed a caretaker. I couldn't switch roles with you. I just couldn't.

*sighs and hugs him to his chest*

Im trying to figure everything out.

*he just nods, holding him and quietly sitting there as pain just keeps washing over him*

*turns around and pulls Billie against his chest, petting his hair*

*lets himself curls into him*

*starts to rock him lightly*

*sobs softly* I hate that you haven’t been happy. I’m sorry.

Its not you. It's a lot of things. Really. Im sorry you're struggling.

I feel like I’ve failed everyone. That I don’t ever stop failing.

*whispers* Failing at what though? These expectations you have really don't exist.

I haven’t kept you happy. I couldn’t keep elsie together. Couldn’t stop isaac from dying or Aurora from trying to murder her fucking family. Couldn’t control lucifer so he didn’t tear apart my fucking family and my life.

How are any of those your responsibilities? I mean... its nice to try to do those things but you're not the only one responsible. Like I'm not happy because I'm jealous not because of you.

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

You're the caretaker. You needed a caretaker. I couldn't switch roles with you. I just couldn't.

*sighs and hugs him to his chest*

Im trying to figure everything out.

*he just nods, holding him and quietly sitting there as pain just keeps washing over him*

*turns around and pulls Billie against his chest, petting his hair*

*lets himself curls into him*

*starts to rock him lightly*

*sobs softly* I hate that you haven’t been happy. I’m sorry.

Its not you. It's a lot of things. Really. Im sorry you're struggling.

I feel like I’ve failed everyone. That I don’t ever stop failing.

*whispers* Failing at what though? These expectations you have really don't exist.

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

You're the caretaker. You needed a caretaker. I couldn't switch roles with you. I just couldn't.

*sighs and hugs him to his chest*

Im trying to figure everything out.

*he just nods, holding him and quietly sitting there as pain just keeps washing over him*

*turns around and pulls Billie against his chest, petting his hair*

*lets himself curls into him*

*starts to rock him lightly*

*sobs softly* I hate that you haven’t been happy. I’m sorry.

Its not you. It's a lot of things. Really. Im sorry you're struggling.

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

You're the caretaker. You needed a caretaker. I couldn't switch roles with you. I just couldn't.

*sighs and hugs him to his chest*

Im trying to figure everything out.

*he just nods, holding him and quietly sitting there as pain just keeps washing over him*

*turns around and pulls Billie against his chest, petting his hair*

*lets himself curls into him*

*starts to rock him lightly*

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

You're the caretaker. You needed a caretaker. I couldn't switch roles with you. I just couldn't.

*sighs and hugs him to his chest*

Im trying to figure everything out.

*he just nods, holding him and quietly sitting there as pain just keeps washing over him*

*turns around and pulls Billie against his chest, petting his hair*

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

You're the caretaker. You needed a caretaker. I couldn't switch roles with you. I just couldn't.

*sighs and hugs him to his chest*

Im trying to figure everything out.

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

You're the caretaker. You needed a caretaker. I couldn't switch roles with you. I just couldn't.

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

*Shakes his head no* Not alone.

*he looks uncomfortable and nods slowly* You have to tell me... why I haven’t been making you happy. Tell me how to help you. How to fix it.

Im... really jealous. I'm so sorry I don't mean 5o be. And I'm scared for you. I had to watch you turn

And...? You have to tell me. Everything. Even if it hurts.

I dont... I hate my feelings I just want you as happy as you can be. I guess. I'm also scared that I'm not enough because how childish I can be.

I mean I want you to tell me everything that makes you unhappy. You said it, Cay... you said I haven’t made you happy for a while.

*wringing his hands* Uh... im not... sure... guess you're just always somewhere else. Even mentally. Guess I thought it was demetri.

*takes his hands and watches him calmly*

You know I'm not good with words.

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

*Shakes his head no* Not alone.

*he looks uncomfortable and nods slowly* You have to tell me... why I haven’t been making you happy. Tell me how to help you. How to fix it.

Im... really jealous. I'm so sorry I don't mean 5o be. And I'm scared for you. I had to watch you turn

And...? You have to tell me. Everything. Even if it hurts.

I dont... I hate my feelings I just want you as happy as you can be. I guess. I'm also scared that I'm not enough because how childish I can be.

I mean I want you to tell me everything that makes you unhappy. You said it, Cay... you said I haven’t made you happy for a while.

*wringing his hands* Uh... im not... sure... guess you're just always somewhere else. Even mentally. Guess I thought it was demetri.

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

*Shakes his head no* Not alone.

*he looks uncomfortable and nods slowly* You have to tell me... why I haven’t been making you happy. Tell me how to help you. How to fix it.

Im... really jealous. I'm so sorry I don't mean 5o be. And I'm scared for you. I had to watch you turn

And...? You have to tell me. Everything. Even if it hurts.

I dont... I hate my feelings I just want you as happy as you can be. I guess. I'm also scared that I'm not enough because how childish I can be.

*lucifer pacing near Billie room* @billiewindsor

*Shakes his head no* Not alone.

*he looks uncomfortable and nods slowly* You have to tell me... why I haven’t been making you happy. Tell me how to help you. How to fix it.

Im... really jealous. I'm so sorry I don't mean 5o be. And I'm scared for you. I had to watch you turn