deadendgirl

Has had me spending way too much time in my bed and in my head. Who knows, maybe that is a good thing though. The realizations I have come to recently are good ones. I am the type of person who constantly holds on to the good and never remembers how shitty the bad was. If it was 98% bad I will always think of the 2% good. I always do that with people, I hold on to the parts of them I fell for not realizing that the person they were most of the time....is the person they really are. I guess I do that because its scary to think people can do that, right? That some people can play you so good to thinking they are this one of kind human being who can make your legs buckle with just some words or even a text message. You don't want to believe that shitty fucking human they turned out to be is actually who they are. Who was that person in the beginning? Do they even know? Do they even realize that they changed? Do i want to even know if they realize? Because then to me it seems as if it was all just a game to them.... But not to me. I feel everything so extremely. So quickly. I put so much trust and so much love into people....because I am always seeing the good and giving the best part of me, assuming that it will always be returned....but I am so wrong, so fucking wrong. But I am young and dumb right? This is just going to keep happening to me probably. Tons and tons more times. All these things ever turn into is a bunch of damn rambling. The sad part is if I scroll back, I feel like I have wrote this same thing countless times.