ATTIRE

lgbtree, why am i so gay?

Hahahahahahah. What a huge Mistake you’ve made. Little do you know, as a child I was subjected to gargantuan barrels of fish being thrown at me by my stern mother. Every time I ate, actually. Being as slow as a below average human, I was never able to dodge. I am a prideful guy. I would not be subjected to this any longer. As the years went by, I trained myself in the art of jaw-opening. I’ve won several contests, including ones against snakes. I’ve eaten frogs, tires, shelves, small children, those spinny seats at the playground. All easy. My Mother Was No Different. Neither Are You. As your small, advanced-for-a-fish brain quickly figures out how another object tumbling toward me migh meet it’s fate, I will be ready, jaw down to my knees, eyes bulging, mouth watering, arms outstretched, waiting, waiting, for the fresh, unsalted, greatly welcomed taste of my newest victum.

uh hey buddy I was supposed to be the weird guy in this post

they wouldn’t let me into the movie theater

why not?

you can’t take a snack into the movie theater ;)

the snack that smiles back

When I first saw star wars vii i remember thinking how absurd it was that not even a century after the empire they’d let another fascist regime rise but you know what on second thought art imitates life

so i went to target earlier and i was looking through the men’s clothing section and was comparing two shirts and this woman came up to me and literally said  “oh, how nice! you must be shopping for your boyfriend”. and i, without thinking, replied: “nothing i do in life is ever for the sake of men”.

I can't believe it's already 2017

Guys I’m crying omg I was drunk please stop reblogging this

They want it to stop…..we reblog it to the extreme

No no no lol please don’t

Forever reblog until 2017

O my god no

i cant stop laughing 

until 2017

only 3 more years.

I already added this to my queue, I don’t even know if i’ll still be on tumblr then

that’s so beautiful

the fashion police