“Chaotic energy is not allowed in Macy’s”

“What’s that hat?”

“How are we raising you kids?”

“my countdown date changed, i have 38 years left!”

“If my house burns what do I have to lose?”

““I’m not saying that the trumpet section is the reason I wanna kill myself, but they’re not helping.””

Teacher, walking into the classroom: Romeo and Juliet die today!

“Can we do a little boy?”

teacher: [talking about how van gogh cut off his own ear after arguing with a friend & sent it to a girl he'd slept with; and how his last words before killing himself were "the sadness lasts forever"]

"Tell me something I don't know"

Student: "No one here plays with dolls!"

"Professor Khan?, do I need my parents’ signature to allow me to commit murder?"

Teacher: *Talking about zygotes and reproduction*