Book Legolas is a sassy little sh*t who skips on the surface of the snow when everyone else is drowning in it up to their waists and carrying the four hobbits. Book Legolas sleeps with his eyes open. He watches Aragorn throw himself to the groud and listen to the sound of running horses, only to say afterwards, “yeah, there are a hundred and five of them, they’re all blond and they all have spears nbd“. Book Legolas cries that Gollum escaped grom Mirkwood right after everyone was like, “phew, it’s good that Thranduil’s elves keep an eye on him, what could go wrong???“. He screams all the time, and occasionally drops his bow too. He kills a warg, shooting it right in the throat with a burning arrow. Book Legolas is a trees stan. Book Legolas walk away singing “To the Sea! To the Sea!“. Book Legolas is not afraid of zombies, thank you very much. He addreses his friends “children“, even though he is probably the youngest elf in Middle-Earth that we know of. And of course, book Legolas takes none of your bs, builds his own grey boat because who says he can’t sail on his own ship right, packs his best friend and shows up in Valinor 120 years late with Starbucks and a dwarf.
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