how has he survived all these months. alone and with no one to keep him in check. not like he needs anyone to keep him in check, but since he’s been back, john has had a wish. a death wish. life isn’t as grand as it once was. (hell, it never was.), but he doesn’t want to live any more. he was PERFECTLY alright with being dead. being wherever the fuck he was. (heave, hell, purgatory, the fucking empty), he was there. not here and more or less, at peace. (if it was hell or purgatory, peace had no room in his vocabulary), but he was dead. he may have been rotting down below. he may have suffered for his transgressions upon demon-kind, or whatever else he happened to hunt in his long ago years of doing this fucking job. so, yes, this washed up hunter, has a death wish. he might not go a head with it, because he is finally reunited with his boys, (even though, he hasn’t seen them or spoken to them yet,) but if dean and sam weren’t here. then he would most likely go a head with his wish. (maybe, in a way he is. drowning his sorrows in alcohol ever chance he gets, hunting things at an old age, picking fights in bars with things that go bump in the night), god, what a crazy bastard he is.
his hand twists and tightens upon the young things neck. he does wants to see her eyes pop out of her head. wants to see the blood drop from her eye sockets. (little morbid don’t you think, papa winchester? cause, damn.), ‘washed up old man’, yeah, he is, in a way, but on the upside. with the way he’s acting. erratic and temperamental. fuck, out of his mind, even. he is going to bring down as much vamps, werewolves, shifters, demons and so-on, on his way downward. (he’s gonna spiral out of control and bring anyone in his vicinity, down with him), witnessing this spectacle. her eyes going from their natural hue to that of a darker one with gold around the rims of her eyes. makes him purr. (yes, purr, with delight.), can you even imagine him purring? it’s strange. more so than how he’s acting, but not by much. and he’s guffawing. loud and boisterous. there is nothing funny about this situation, but it’s just the adrenaline of the situation and the way the patrons of the bar have moved out of the way, some yelling and shrinking behind tables or ducking into bathrooms in terror. and as she launches towards him, he doesn’t have to time to dodge the attack, but his trusty knife makes its way from its hiding place and he’s driving the blade into the woman’s chest and kicking her legs out from underneath her and he’s falling back, onto one of the now empty tables. scattering beer bottles and whiskey glasses along the floor. in turn, causing himself to bleed. “i’d sooner split my own wrists than take you out to dinner, little one.”, he is growling now and once more launching himself towards her. “well, i lied. i thought i knew what you were, but i don’t. no matter. you’ll soon meet your end.” he might think that now, but he knows little to nothing about the woman he had challenged to a fight. knew nothing about her kin or lineage.