DC Super Hero Girls

*neither of them die*

Supergirl:

Batgirl:

Supergirl: So, do you wanna talk about somethi-

Harley Quinn: Backup.

Bumblebee, passing the phone to Supergirl: No way I'm about to tell the Wall what we are doing!

Supergirl, passing the phone to Harley: Uh-uh. I suck at lying. You're great at it!

Harley Quinn, passing the phone to Wondy: You're her favorite!

Wonder Woman, passing the phone to Batgirl: You're great at talking us out of punishments!

Speed Queen: WE WON!

Lashina: THE WORLD IS OURS!

*awkward silence*

Speed Queen: So what do we do now?

Lashina: Artemiz, check the plan.

Artemiz: There's nothing there. I didn't expect us to get this far...

Lashina:

Stompa: I'm bored. I want superheroes!

Artemiz: Maybe I could try a new hobby? Like pottery.

Lashina: You are not taking up pottery.

Stompa: BORED.

Lashina:

Mad Harriet: Can we put the heroes back?

Artemiz: We could fake a prophecy.

Lashina: No! No prophecies and no superheroes!

Speed Queen: I could take up pottery.

Katana: Well, i speak Japanese, so I'll be your escort. Batgirl speaks the second most, so she'll be your Japanese bodyguard. Bumblebee speaks the third most, so she'll be Batgirl's assistant.

Bumblebee: I don't speak Japanese.

Lashina, in disguise: Er... something school related.

Bumblebee: What class is this?

Lashina: Sorry?

Bumblebee: Well, if it's school related, you'd obviously know what class this is. What class is this?

Lashina: *looks at Batgirl and Supergirl*

Wonder Woman: You were drunk yesterday.

Harley Quinn: And?

Supergirl: You threw it.

Harley Quinn: Why?

Bumblebee: You turned on airplane mode and kept screaming "FLY DAMN YOU!".

Harley Quinn: And why didn't you stop me?!

Definitely planning to do more! Was just extremely busy these past few months and had zero energy to be active in any fandom. BUT, I'll try to start posting here again very soon :D

*Wonder Woman and Supergirl baking cookies together*

Supergirl: You know, baking is basically just edible chemistry.

Wonder Woman: You’ve been spending too much time with Batgirl. Next thing I know, you’ll be talking about molecules and explosions.

Supergirl: …Or we could just throw in extra sugar and see what happens.

Wonder Woman: Kara, that is not how baking works-

Supergirl, dumping in sugar: Science.

---

Supergirl: Okay, what’s next?

Wonder Woman: The recipe says we must sift the flour.

Supergirl: Pfft, sifting is for people who aren’t super strong. Watch this! *grabs bag and shakes it aggressively*

Wonder Woman: Kara, wait-

Supergirl: *rips bag open*

*flour explodes everywhere*

Supergirl:

Wonder Woman:

Supergirl: I think we’re done sifting.

---

Wonder Woman: Now we carefully mix the ingredients together.

Supergirl, grabbing a whisk: You know, I’ve got a faster way to mix this up. *starts whisking at super speed*

Wonder Woman: Kara, slow down! This isn’t a race!

Supergirl, laughing: I’m just speeding up the process! Look at it go!

*flour and dough fly everywhere*

Wonder Woman, dodging dough flying at her: Science, huh?

---

Wonder Woman: Supergirl, why do I smell smoke?

Supergirl: Oh, don’t worry, that’s just the cookies.

Wonder Woman: Oh, wonderful! They are done?

Supergirl: Uh… no, they’re on fire.

Wonder Woman: BY HERA-

---

Supergirl: Ta-da! We made cookies!

Wonder Woman: They… do not look like cookies.

Supergirl: Yeah, but they taste great!

Wonder Woman, hesitantly biting one: …By Hera, these are actually delicious!

Supergirl: Told ya! Baking is just a bunch of happy accidents!

Wonder Woman: No, it is precision and patience!

Supergirl, shrugging: Agree to disagree. Want another one?

Harley has convinced Wonder Woman to dress up as a clown with a big red nose

*The girls are all staring at Wonder Woman, who is standing proudly in full clown attire - face paint, a big red nose, and comically oversized shoes*

Batgirl: ...I have so many questions.

Supergirl, trying to contain her laughter: I- I can't- This is the best thing I've ever seen!

Bumblebee: Okay. I just... need to know... what sequence of events led us here?

Wonder Woman, crossing her arms: Harley made a compelling argument.

Harley Quinn, nodding enthusiastically: See? Told ya I'm persuasive!

Batgirl, slowly: And that argument was...?

Wonder Woman: She explained that clowns are warriors of humor, using their unpredictability as a form of psychological advantage over their opponents.

Supergirl, grinning: So she tricked you.

Wonder Woman, firmly: No. I have simply chosen to embrace a new tactical approach.

Harley Quinn, wiping away a fake tear: My little Amazon's all grown up.

Bumblebee, to Batgirl: Do we- do we stop this?

Wonder Woman: Do not, my friends. We have been underestimating the power of clownery. It is not just about foolishness - it is about surprise and unpredictability! And if I want to be the best warrior I can be, I need to master every kind of strategy. Even clown tactics. Observe!

Wonder Woman: *pulls out a honking horn and honks it with an intense, battle-ready stance*

Supergirl, wheezing: I- Oh my- Wondy, please-

sorry these are becoming a little longer- I'm having too much fun lmao

*Harley is cleaning Wonder Woman's room, and she accidentally gets tangled in the Lasso of Truth in the process*

Harley Quinn, pausing: ...Uh-oh.

Bumblebee, walking in: Hey, Harley, you good?

Harley Quinn, panicking: YEAH TOTALLY FINE- EXCEPT I JUST ATE THREE COOKIES I SAID I WOULDN'T TOUCH AND I ONCE ACCIDENTALLY CALLED PRINCIPAL WALLER MOM- OH NO WHAT AM I DOING-

Supergirl, walking in with Batgirl right behind her: What is happening?

Bumblebee: HARLEY'S STUCK IN THE LASSO OF TRUTH!

Batgirl, grinning: We have to ask her something.

Harley Quinn: No ya don't!

Supergirl: What's the most unheroic thing you've ever done?

Harley Quinn, struggling: ONE TIME I PRETENDED NOT TO HEAR THE SAVE THE DAY ALARM JUST SO I COULD TAKE A NAP-

Bumblebee, gasping: Harley!

Wonder Woman, entering the room: What is all this commotion?

Harley Quinn: I THINK YOUR HAIR ALWAYS LOOKS PERFECT BUT IT MAKES ME MAD ‘CAUSE HOW- HOW DOES IT STAY SO BOUNCY-

Wonder Woman, gasps, hand over heart: Thank you.

Poison Ivy: *walks in*

Harley Quinn: Oh no. Not you too.

Batgirl, grinning: Hey, Ivy, wanna ask Harley something while she can't lie?

Poison Ivy, crossing her arms: No, because I'm not evil!

Harley Quinn: *relieved sigh*

Poison Ivy:

Poison Ivy: But now I'm curious...

Harley and Catwoman stealing the same item

*Harley Quinn and Catwoman both reach for an artifact at the same time*

Catwoman:

Catwoman: ...Harley? What are you doing here?

Harley Quinn: Stealin'... I think... maybe?

Catwoman, raising an eyebrow: Are you okay? You're supposed to be stopping me.

Harley Quinn, confused: I am?

*Batgirl and Supergirl burst in*

Batgirl: DROP THE ARTIFA- Wait what...?

Supergirl: Harley? What are you doing here?

Harley Quinn: Stealin'...? OH! You must be Twilight and Mordecai! You two are my favorite Avengers!

Batgirl:

Supergirl:

Supergirl, whispering to Batgirl: I'm so confused.

Batgirl, whispering back: And so is Harley, apparently...

*realization hits*

Batgirl: Harley? Have you, by any chance, come into contact with confusion kryptonite lately?

Harley Quinn:

Harley Quinn: ...what?

Supergirl, trying: Looks like a big blue jellybean?

Harley Quinn: OH! THE BIG BLUE JELLYBEAN!

Wonder Woman inhaling helium for the first time

Harley Quinn: *enters the room with a helium balloon*

Harley Quinn, grinning: Hey, Wondy, can you please inhale the air from this balloon?

Wonder Woman: Sure? If this is some sort of tradition, I shall partake!

Wonder Woman: *inhales the helium*

Wonder Woman, high-pitched: What a funny tra- GREAT HERA, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY VOICE?

Supergirl, already on the floor laughing: Pfffftt- I can't-

Bumblebee, barely holding it together: Wondy! Say something dramatic!

Wonder Woman, high-pitched: FEAR NOT CITIZENS, FOR I AM DIANA, THE PRINCESS OF THEMYSCIRA, AND I SHALL SAVE YOU ALL!

Harley Quinn, absolutely losing it: THIS IS GOLD!

Batgirl, recording: I'm sending this to Steve!