𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐌𝐒𝐃𝐀𝐘.

not so fun uncle eddie.

you know you can put humans on leashes too :)

are you talking about a person?

You might hear some slanderous talk that I fell asleep on the floor in the kitchen and Id like to adress that by saying one thing: no you

you.... i won’t question it, but, maybe try and make it into your bed tonight.

i hope everyone had a fantastic national horny day yesterday.

sadly, there’s a little bit of a wait, it’s not until the 15th december! buuuut, christmas cupcakes could be cute.

i hope everyone had a fantastic national horny day yesterday.

apparently. i actually didn’t know until it was too late, but there’s always today.

girls will say they "know a spot" then take you to the sacrificial altar

My kind of girl, stab me on our first date

would me getting shitfaced today be a ‘in honor of’ or a ‘you probably shouldnt’ situation? because like.. it’s still thursday. y’know what that means.

you probably shouldn’t. there’s a time and a place, and this is neither.

being woken up by a cat compared to an excited pup is strangely wholesome.

or, here’s an even better idea, i’ll just lay on top of you :)

being woken up by a cat compared to an excited pup is strangely wholesome.

i hate to tell you that he jumped in and snuggled down the second you went to make coffee. 🖤

being woken up by a cat compared to an excited pup is strangely wholesome.

we didn’t mean to have a cat, but we do, sam came home from the gym and the witchy black cat of my spooky dreams came home with him.

I’ll admit it, I’m invested. If they have you end up with a broken heart over this I’ll riot.

What party people are up and want to hang out? Your boy can’t sleep.

You should try herbal tea, smelling lavender, if not I heard a quick kick to the head does the trick.