-+STARRY TAZ+-

I have been working retail at the same job for almost 3 years now and was promoted assistant store manager back in October but I think I’m ready to move on to something else. My old manager got promoted to district manager back in December and wanted to bring in an old assistant from another store, who use to work at our store 2 and half years ago, to take over in her place.

Things have not been the same since she took over our store. 

I’ve been through thick in thin working here but I’m at a point now where I want to move on. 3 of my old coworkers had transfer to another store and the only other assistants that we have now are still new. The new sm has been having me close the store every single night per week and I’m at my breaking point. 

I’ve spoken to her about wanted to work day shift again for a while now and she keeps reassuring me I will soon but I don’t think that’s gonna happen anytime. I am exhausted.

Anytime I do close she keeps getting on me about recovery and anytime I believe the store looks 100% recovered the next day she comes in and tells me it looks atrocious. What results are you expecting when you always have me closing with the same cashier that’s on their phone through out their shift?

It’s not fair to me that I’m busting my ass doing all the work when it’s suppose to be a team effort. I’ve even ask to work with another cashier or assistant constantly but always seems to get dismissed. The only other cashier that I work with besides the same one is only once a week but she actually does  recovers when we work together.

Last night when my boyfriend picked me up after work it was as if he knew what I was thinking because as soon as I got in the car he pulled me into his arms and hugged me. He 100% supports my decision and knows what I’ve been through working for this damn store.

My district manager actually visited our store yesterday and I’ve spoken to her about me not being happy about the shifts that I’ve been working and she said she will speak to my sm about it. 

Before I did though I couldn’t help but ease drop on their conversation and my sm was basically telling the district manager that she was doing things by herself and made it seem like nobody gave a shit but her which pissed me off.

How and I suppose to help you if your not giving me or anyone else the opportunity to? 

I liked my job and didn’t think I would ever think of quitting but it is what it is. At least I can add this to my resume as a good job experience.  

I made the mistake by telling my half sister because next thing I knew she was sending me text messages telling me I would need to quarantine myself or go to my boyfriend’s place for the next 14 days while moving my things out.

As soon as I got home we got into it. All those promises of never kicking me out went completely out the window. So I had to call my manager, crying my eyes out mind you, then HR that I made the decision to quarantine myself.

I’ve been stuck upstairs for the last 6 days cleaning, packing, and working on my art. I’ve also been looking at apartments online. Keeping my fingers cross that I’ll be able to get a place before the month is over. 

Gonna start slowly move my things over to my boyfriend’s place. His mom is getting better day by day like I knew she would. I just hate how this had to happen because it really open my eyes to what kind of person my half sister really is. 

Accusing my boyfriend and I over trying to kill her while this whole corona virus is going on. I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in person in days. Before all this we hardly been able to see each other because he’s been working later then he use to. 

I am completely done with trying have a bond with this stranger I call sister. Ever since we had that falling out last year things really haven’t been the same since. 

I gave him the silent treatment until he gave in and apologize. I wanted to forgive him but his apology honestly didn’t feel sincere. It felt more like he was apologizing so I would stop ignoring him. 

It was so hard to act like everything was all peaches and cream because I was still upset. Today we both woke up and I felt kinda silly for the way I was acting and apologize for my behavior last night which he said that I didn’t need to because he finally understood why I was upset. We both slept all morning which was nice but as soon as I got up I wanted to get “busy”. 

Perfect opportunity since nobody but us was home. For some reason he kinda just brushed it off? I don’t know but I guess that kinda hurt my feelings for feeling a little rejected. He made us breakfast which was pretty good and when we finished I was ready to go somewhere. Anywhere.

I didn’t want to stay inside especially on a Saturday. But he just wanted to chill out from what I gather. He didn’t say it I just assumed since he wasn’t really up and dressed like I was. 

I then made the decision to just go back home alone because I was getting bored and annoyed that I wasted a whole day not really doing anything. He got in his feelings and said I was doing exactly what he did last night but I shut that shit down real quick. I at least told him that I was gonna go back home I didn’t just disappear and not say anything like he did. 

I understand that your tired from work bae. I feel tired too. But stop promising me things that you had plan today that never happened. He drop me off home and help bring my bags inside. 

We didn’t even kiss goodbye like we usually would. 

Hello everyone. 

Long time no post? So much has been going on lately I honestly haven’t had any time to post anything in so long. I’ve been spending so much time with my bae and have been working longer hours at work which has been kinda making me feel too lazy to post any updates.

Well everything with my boyfriend and I have been smooth sailing. Except we got into our first argument last night which I’m still pissed still thinking about it.

I had to work night shift and was really looking forward to getting off working to get back home to my bae. Store finally closed. I took my drawer down on time and went on my merry way to my bae who was waiting for me in the parking lot. We were heading to my house to pick up my night bag since I was gonna spend the night at his place which was planned all week.

But on the way there was some kind of accident up the street I was concerned about whoever got hurt was okay but I just wanted to get to my house already to get my things. Bae on the other hand wanted to check out the accident which I gave in so we got out the car to see what happened. 

Some jackasses carjack someone at gunpoint and stole their car. While speeding away they smack dab into another car and they both got hurt. Bae found some weird camera on the ground which I told him to leave but he was hardheaded and took it with us. On the way to my place I was telling him all about the end of my shift and was excited to show him this pom pom I ordered from amazon that arrive earlier that day but for some reason he wasn’t paying attention to what I was saying at all.

When we pulled into the drive through he just kept playing with the damn camera. I smiled while feeling annoyed and just let it go and went in the house to get my night bag. Went outside once to put his bag of juice he brought 2 days before in his car because I was getting sick of looking at it sitting on my kitchen table. 

Came back outside the second time because I finally got everything and my bae was gone.

The car. Him. Just disappeared.

I was immediately concerned then livid.  Wtf did he go? Why didn’t he tell me? 

I couldn’t see a thing and was fumbling with my house keys to get back in the house. 3 cars passed by while i was struggling and he finally pulled back in my drive through. As soon as I saw him I flew down the steps so fast and started yelling. 

On a sunday morning I lost my “V” card. We went to a comedy show in Rochester after I got off of work and when we got back to his place it happened. Didn’t really hurt like I was expecting it to. Wasn’t bleeding or crying at all.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that before I met my boyfriend I also have toys that I like to use. It was slight uncomfortable but I think I adjusted very quickly. Definitely won’t be something I’ll forget or regret. 

I am officially no longer single. 

Who knew 6 days after we exchange numbers at my job we would be seeing each other exclusively. I feel so comfortable and loved while I’m with him it sounds so cheesy. But he has been so amazing to me since we’ve been seeing each other.

I kinda thank f*ck boy in a way for cancelling on our supposed date because had he not I wouldn’t have met my boyfriend. My boyfriend always texts me, makes plans to hang out with me, and doesn’t mind pda. 

Literally the very next day after my last post I was still very hurt and angry about what happened I decided to get out the house to get some food so I went down to my job with my thoughts still clouded with maybe baby f*ck boy. Walked in with my little shopping cart, greeted my co-workers and headed down the drink aisle while trying to clear my thoughts. While stocking up on some packs of water in my cart I turned around and notice a guy walking up to me and he looked vaguely familiar. 

He actually use to shop at my store a lot and we would casually talk about random things like how I usually do with any other customers but this guy was different. I always thought he was pretty cute but didn’t think much of him since I assumed he was already seeing somebody.

When he came up to me we started talking about what’s been going on with our lives lately then eventually he asks for my phone number, which I gave to him. 

For the past 4 days we have been talking and getting to know each other. We’ve gone bowling, went to the movie theaters recently and saw Toy Story 4, and actually kissed for the first time last night.

I feel so completely comfortable around him and we have so many similar interest. Unlike with f*ck boy he is actually a gentlemen. He came to my house yesterday with a little stuff animal tiger and a bouquet of pink flowers awe. He’s not pressuring me into doing thing I’m not comfortable of doing yet.

I saw f*ck boy yesterday for the first time at my job of all places since he stood me up that night. In the corner of my eye I notice that he kept looking over at me but I could barely look him in the eye and gave zero f*cks about his presence. Didn’t even say “have a good day” like how I usually do with my customers.

For a small revenge since we had truck day yesterday while he was around I started playfully fanning down one of the newest male co-workers (who’s actually pretty cute btw but not my type) and he said out loud that he playfully loves me. F*ck boy was around and heard that loud and clear. 

Maybe baby F*ck boy and I are officially over. Been giving this douche bag chance after chance and it took me to finally open my eyes after he stood me up for our 2nd date. The reason why he stood me up was because he was at the gym.

I guess that must be the most important thing in the world instead of telling your date that something came up. He had the balls to tell me he had to cancel but ask if it was still okay for him to stop by to see me. 

No sir. You and I are officially done. 

Blocked.

Maybe baby slept over again last night. Kinda unexpected really since I was asleep but he was actually visiting his sister again and when he left he realized he forgot his house keys at her place so he decided to come over and crash at mines. I really enjoyed his company. We didn’t do much except talking and cuddling. 

Maybe baby called me out of the blue to ask if I had an extra charger for my iphone because his was acting weird. I said yeah then he told me he’ll be at my house in 3 minutes. I’m so glad I took a shower when I got home for work because the next few hours was very unexpected.

He came over. We hugged and kissed and I went upstairs to grab my charger to see if it worked on his phone. It didn’t. So he concluded that he was gonna have to get a new battery for his phone. Cool. I then suggested while he was here if he wanted to walk around the neighborhood and we did just that. It was so nice ya’ll.

We talked about everything and I strangely feel like that walked helped us get to know more about each other's point of views about life. I then waited for the right time while we were laughing about what was going on with him 2 weeks ago. He told me what he thought and I told him I don’t just make out with any one that I view as just a friend. I think talking really lifted a weight off both our shoulders.

We decide to head back to my house since he was complaining about being cold (he was wearing basketball shorts lol). Head back to my house, I showed him around and we decided to head upstairs to my room to watch a movie.

He liked my room. He decided to order some late food to eat. We didn’t watch the movie at all. While cuddling we ended up making out and things escalated very quickly. Before that we were giving each other back massages over the clothes then it ended up being with no clothes. I’m still self conscious about my body and thank god the lights were out but he on the other hand was thrilled. So happy that I put on one of my new bras last minute because he absolutely loved it.

I thought I was dreaming when he helped take off my shirt and bra. Oh my god ya’ll I couldn’t believe what was happening. But I stop before things really went down. I did give him my first hj and bj and he seemed to really liked it. He actually went down on me which felt nice like I’d always imagine it to be. Didn’t get any complaints at all from me. He really was boosting my self confidence though btw lol 

He kept telling me he loved my body and my skin was so soft and that I smelled really good. :3

Welp, at least he got a preview with me. I almost went all the way but since he had no condom I told him that I wanted to chill even though he persisted I reminded him we both don’t want to be parents in 9 months. Mid making out the food he order starting calling us to let us know their downstairs. He actually made me sit on his lap and started feeding me his food aw. We went back upstairs to my room and fell asleep cuddling and woke up in each others arms. It felt nice. He sadly had to go back to work in a few hours so we hugged for a few minutes and kissed each other goodbye.