Why did you do it? That’s my one question. Why? The world was beautiful and bright, days became easier to get through and nights became more bearable because at the end of it all you were there. I trusted you. I told you I loved you! You loved me too! So why am I so fucking sad and lonely now? Why did you leave me when you promised you never would? Why did you have to fuck everything up? I know it was all too perfect to be true but now I can’t even look at you without my world beginning to fall apart all over again. I hope whoever the next is makes you happier than you could have ever been with me because asking you to settle with the one you ‘love’ is a clear and hard battle! I hope life treats you better than it treated me and I do hope that you win that losing battle with your mind because you deserve to be free. I guess just not free with me? It’s been 4 months and I’m still not over it because that’s what you did to me. You ruined me. And I can’t do anything but stand back and be happy that you are happier now than ever before! But what about me? What about the one you left behind when you went off into this better life that didn’t involve anyone but yourself? Everything was out there for you; all you had to do was take it! You’ve always been good at taking things so I never thought this would be a hard thing for you, but clearly it was the struggle of your life. And now you have me awake at 4am thinking of how i got it wrong and constantly coming up with nothing but empty air space. You took the past 3 years away from me. I can’t stand to be in the same space as you for fear that I’ll start crying. You did that! That’s the effect you’ve had on me! I hope you’re beyond proud that you broke me down into a shell of a person who’s scared to breathe the wrong thing to someone for fear of losing them and everything I have along with it. How do you feel? Please don’t be upset because I don’t need you to be! I have all the crying and heartbreak covered for you, I don’t want you to work too hard or stress yourself out for me! You deserve better. See what you don’t know is 3 years down the line, I would still lie on the ground for you to walk all over me if it meant you would come in contact with me. I hope you don’t find me as clingy or sad! That would just be the pinnacle of this whole game. I won’t lie; no I’m not ok. But don’t worry about that either. It’s probably been a long day, so go get some rest; we both know I’ll be here waiting for your return. And if I hurt you? Well. I’m sure you could show me some compassion as you make me out to be the worst person to exist in your world!