ERADICATE THIS DISEASE

“i’m your biggest fan so i snuck backstage to meet you after a show, but it turns out your security guards are a lot tougher than they look, so now i’m being shouted at/possibly tased and now you’re walking by and oh god this isn’t how i wanted this to go” au

“i entered a contest to be your plus one to an event and wtf i actually won?!” au

“i’m trying to start a celebrity gossip blog and you are an effing trainwreck so now i’m lowkey stalking you in hopes of getting a humiliating story” au

“it’s the middle of the night on a saturday and i’ve been thrown into holding by the cops and am i high or did i just get thrown into the same holding cell as a celebrity???” au

“of all the cars in the world for me to have tried to steal, it had to be YOURS?” au

“i’m an extra in a movie/music video that you’re starring in and idec if you’re super famous and i’m a nobody, plz notice me” au

alternatively, “i’m just an extra, but the star has a crush on me?! what????” au

“i’m famous as hell and yet i seem to have met the ONE person in this bar who doesn’t have a damn clue how i am, this is hilarious, i’m just gonna ride this out” au

tbh give me a long-distance relationship that begins with one sending fanmail to the other and “wait you actually wrote me back?!” au

“while hiding from the paparazzi i ran into the first building i saw and it turns out you work here and what the fuck do you mean you’re closed and i have to get out, have some mercy!” au

“of all the wrong numbers in the world, the nude i meant to send to my significant other wound up on YOUR phone” au

the same au but in reverse, aka, “wtf why did i get a random nude from my favorite celebrity??? am i on catfish???” au

“we’re on a reality show where half the contestants are famous and the other half are just regular people” au

“you read one of my thirst tweets on a talk show and now my thirst is a minor internet sensation, so thanks for that” au