JOHN RAMOS-HENDERSON - into a new era

You’ve always known that you’d never be able to get over Ben.

It’s not the first time you’ve cried about hopelessly being in love with him, and you know it wouldn’t be the last, yet there was still something in you that hoped he’d notice how much you longed for him.

You’ve always been willing to wait, wait as long as needed just in case he finally notices how mad you are for him.

And still, he never does.

He was currently lying on a beach chair next to you on the back porch of your house, trying to dry off a little before going back in your pool later.

You, on the other hand, were scrolling on your phone, trying not to get too distracted by Ben’s abs, which were being hit perfectly by the sun.

At one point, once one of you had gotten tired of the silence, your conversation shifted to the topic of dating and partners.

“I’m actually shocked you don’t have a girlfriend, everyone seems to love you.” You said, wrapping your arms around your knees as you talked to him, subtly looking him up and down.

He shrugged before pushing his sunglasses back up. “I dunno, I’ve never really found anyone.” He paused before being sparked to continue. “I do have my eyes set on someone, I don’t think she likes me though, it’s hard to tell.”

“I’m sure she does, it’s pretty hard not to like you.” You chuckled, trying not to let your voice falter as you listened to him talk about some other girl that wasn’t you.

“I don’t know, maybe.” He sighed as he turned his head before standing up and walking to the edge of the pool. “You gettin’ back in?”

“Maybe in a little bit.” You smiled at him as you sat up in your chair. “I promise.”

“You better keep that promise.” He winked which instantly brought a blush to your cheeks.

“I will, you know I do. But you have to make a promise too.”

“Yeah, and what’s that?”

“If you start dating that girl you like, you have to promise that you won’t stop talking to me. I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

You swear you could’ve seen a slight tint come to his cheeks, but you convinced yourself it was just from the heat. 

“I promise.” He said with a grin before stepping down into the pool.

You watched him closely, unable to take your eyes off of him, and unable to take your mind off of the fact that he’s clearly in love with someone else.

Later, a while after he had left, you were in your bedroom sitting cross-legged on the ground while your best friend, Lila, was sprawled out on your bed, a random show playing in the background.

“Ugh, but I can’t just hide from him, Lila! If I randomly just ghost him he’ll start bugging me constantly, but on the other hand, if I do ghost him, I can just push everything I’ve ever thought about him away into the back of my mind.”

“Or you could just convince yourself you don’t like him and stay friends. Personally, I don’t want to see you ruin your relationship with the person you’re closest with, I mean, besides, me of course.”

You groaned, flipping over onto your stomach dramatically as you face-planted. 

“Look, I don’t know what answer you want me to give you, babe, but you have two options. You can either be a fool, and try to forget your feelings for him, or you can hold on to hope and try to get him to fall for you.”

“I mean besides those choices, there really isn’t anything else for me to do, is there?” You said as you looked up at Lila.

“Not really. Unless, of course, unless you try the secret third option.”

“Yeah, and what could that possibly be?”

“You tell him just how much you like him so that he forgets about that new girl and decides to date you instead.” She stated, looking at you with a smug grin as she rested her head in her hands, acting like she had just suggested the easiest thing in the world.

You rolled your eyes as you pulled yourself up onto your bed to lay next to her. “Yeah, like I would ever do that.”

“I think you can if you stop overthinking it so damn much!” She giggled as she poked at your side, causing you to start laughing too.

“You know that’s not even close to possible.” You sighed, out of breath from laughing.

“Yeah, whatever.” She said, flipping onto her back so that the both of you were staring at the ceiling together. Then, something clicked for her. “Hey, wait, isn’t your dad throwing a party next week to celebrate the end of playoffs?”

“Yeah, what about it though?”

“Ben’s coming over! You have a chance to talk to him. Even though I know you really don’t want to, I think it’s the best chance you have, plus if it doesn’t work out, he still has to act like nothing happened because he won’t want to seem weak in front of the Sidney Crosby and his daughter.”

You thought about it for a moment before finally accepting that Lila wasn’t going to change her mind about you trying to do this, so you figured you would just lie. “Fine, maybe I’ll try. Maybe.”

You didn’t even make a slight effort to do that. In fact, you actually made things worse before you even had the chance to decide if you were going to tell him or not.

In the next week before the party, you had started to distance yourself with him, not inviting him over, not hanging out, not picking up an extra coffee for him. 

Your dad was a little confused, he didn’t know what happened to cause you to stop being so attached to Ben like you always were.

You played it off, saying that he was just super busy lately, but you were really doing this because you didn’t want to interfere with the relationship that was blossoming with him and that girl.

You were sitting on the couch when Ben had arrived, trying not to bring too much attention to yourself as you watched him wander around.

You thought you’d make it all night without having to talk to him, but he changed that.

You were sitting on the back porch by yourself, listening to the music from inside seep through the screen door as you watched the gray clouds that were looming over the sky, preparing for rain. 

“Pittsburgh weather, am I right?” You heard Ben step behind you, sliding the door shut.

“Isn’t this your first year living here?”

“Yeah, but I think that’s enough to realise how bipolar it is. I mean, it was crazy sunny an hour ago and now it’s gonna storm.”

“That’s fair.” You chuckled, though you tried to hold it back.

You looked up at him as he sat next to you, placing down two cokes in the empty space between you both.

He looked up at the sky for a second before turning to look at you, whispering. “Did I do something to get you to ignore me?”

“What’re you talking about?” You said as your voice shook slightly. 

“After I left, when we hung out in your pool last week, you haven’t been talking to me very much. Dry texts, cancelling plans, I just want to know why you’ve been like this. I want to know if I did something to cause this.”

Your mouth formed a line, your gaze reaching the ground so that you didn’t have to make eye contact with Ben.

“I didn’t want to complicate your relationship with that girl you like, or liked. I’m not sure if you’re still talking to her or not.”

“Well, I didn’t talk to her much last week, but I am talking to her again now.”

“See, distancing myself helped you because you’re talking to her again. You should be thanking me, Ben.”

“No, you’re not getting what I’m trying to say.”

“I don’t need to understand it though. You just need to know that I actually helped you and now you and that girl can–”

Ben cut you off, grabbing your face and crashing his lips against yours just as thunder crashed down in the sky.

He pulled apart from you slowly so that you could process what had happened.

“Why would you do that?” You exclaimed, eyebrows furrowing together as you watched the serious expression on his face.

“Because I need you to understand that you’re the girl I was talking to. You distanced yourself so I said that I wasn’t talking to her very much until now because tonight was the first time in a week that I’ve been able to have a conversation with you.”

He watched you intently as the realization slowly set in for you.

“I was the girl all along?”

He nodded, smiling at you. “Yeah, it’s you.”

Your eyebrows had shot up in surprise, and happiness at the same time. 

“My feelings weren’t one-sided all this time?” You said, a huge grin drawn on your lips.

“No, not at all. I’ve liked you ever since your dad had first introduced me to you, though I didn’t think you would ever see me as more than a friend, but I still decided that I would try to make myself noticeable.”

“Well, I’m glad you did because I don’t think I would’ve even tried. I always thought my crush on you was hopeless, but I couldn’t get myself to stop liking you.” You said. 

Neither of you realised that as you were talking about your feelings, the space between you shrank. Your hand was suddenly stacked underneath his, your face closer to his than you had previously thought.

And without thinking you two had pushed your faces together again, his hands locked onto your waist as you held onto his face gently.

The rain had started to come down harder, droplets settling in your hair and dripping along your skin, but that didn’t stop either of you from keeping your tight grip on each other.

“Hey, the rain’s getting pretty bad, you guys might wanna come on in so that you don’t catch a cold–” Your dad paused as he walked by the door, causing the both of you to jump and pull apart at the sound of his booming voice. “What’s going on here?” He said more seriously

Before either of you could defend yourself, Geno popped up behind him, placing his hands on Sid’s shoulders. 

“Young love, da? Leave them alone.” He winked at you, slowly guiding Sid, who had a nasty look on his face, away so that you could be yourselves again.

Both of your faces were flushed as you looked at each other, immediately bursting into giggles.