*:.｡.(・▽・)ノ.｡.:*

I should’ve just held you instead of calling the hospice. I should’ve held you near me on my bed before you jumped off. I should’ve given you so many kisses before your last breath left your body.

I thought about how much I miss holding you. My heart feels tight and my head is full of “what if’s”. I’m driving myself crazy but only because trying to be at peace with you gone feels so wrong.

I would give up years of my life if I could get a few days of yours back. If I could turn back time, I would go back to the first day I brought you home.

Please know that I loved you with all my heart. Please have felt at ease knowing I was with you. If you want to be mad, be mad at me and run around in spite of how you left this earth. Act like that so you’ll come back soon and I can hold you again. I love you so much buddy.