Come into my Life.... Regress into a Dream...

there is no competition. respectfully, you could never be me. disrespectfully, i would never want to be you.

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like “are you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying “woah that’s a lot of coffee”

Being funny on Tumblr and then going to be funny in real life is like traveling to a foreign country and baby the currency exchange rate is biased in your favor

She added color to everything she touched.

What a gift it is to no longer tolerate less than you deserve.

life is honestly too short to be embarrassed over anything that sparks even a little happiness in you