Dark Thoughts Memories and Poems

The only one I trust more, is my therapist.

Do you ever had this situation, where you and your partner break up, you had a talk with him on the next day asking him for a second change? I did. I asked. I knew the breakup was my fault. I knew I hurt him. And during the talk, he told me what I already knew and stuff I didn't even thought about. He told me how much I am hurting him, but also how much he hurts me. I didn't really cared about this worlds at that moment. The feeling that we are not connected any more was so painful. So painful that I wanted to grab him und put next to me and not let him go. As he explained me, what I did to him, my heart started to become heavier and heavier. Every beat was hurting so much, I thought my body will be ripped apart. The hot salt dripped down my face. I heard his pain, but couldn't except it. I was selfish again. I tried to convince him to stay with me. And after few words he agreed. But only if I change. I am ready to do this. I don't want to lose him. But now I am thinking about his words his pain in his voice and I am asking myself, was it right to ask him to come back? Is it okay? Didn't I hurt him already enough? And I don't want to convince myself to let him go, because I still love him so much.