Frozen Ghost

I laid in bed, dying from a disease that I wanted so desperately to kill me. Suffering from the wrath of a body that was giving up on me. My very bones rotting from the medication and the radiation and what could I do?

I believed every lie that you told me. I believed that you loved me. In my suffering, love was my only hope and I hated it. But what else could I believe in, if not love?

“I love you.”

You had so many people who you said that to. But I had so many reasons to believe it. I don’t know why I wanted to. But I knew that I was deathly afraid of living my life without you in it.

You promised so many things and nothing came of it. I don’t know what I was expecting. Me, in my vulnerable state. Dying and wanting to give up.