I am so proud to say that my college is so LGBT friendly, that in a survey Res Life put out they forgot to include straight people.

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@darlingdemi
I am so proud to say that my college is so LGBT friendly, that in a survey Res Life put out they forgot to include straight people.

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âWe chose the term âasexualâ to describe ourselves because both âcelibateâ and âanti-sexualâ have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad. âAsexualâ, as we use it, does not mean âwithout sexâ but ârelating sexually to no oneâ. This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression. Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.â
â The Asexual Manifesto, Lisa Orlando and Barbara Getz, 1972
Asexual labels explained using cereal
You are in a kitchen, opening a pantry door. It contains every brand of cereal in existence.
Libido- How hungry you are
Sexual Attraction- How appealing each cereal is to you
Sex-Repulsed- The mere act of eating cereal disturbs you. You flee the kitchen to watch Netflix instead.
Sex-Indifferent- Someone brings you a bowl of cereal. Even though you donât crave cereal, you decide to eat some anyway. Maybe because you want the person to feel happy youâre eating something they provided you. Maybe youâre just that hungry. Regardless, youâre fine with eating it since itâs already there. If it wasnât, you wouldnât care either.
Sex-favorable- Though you donât particularly crave cereal, the act of eating cereal is enjoyable. So enjoyable, you go through the trouble of picking a brand to eat.
Asexual with low/no libido- You are rarely hungry, and none of the cereal appeals to you.
Asexual with average/high libido- You are often hungry, but none of the cereal appeals to you.
Aegosexual-Â Eating cereal sounds fun in theory but not in practice. You certainly have no interest in eating cereal yourself. Youâd rather fantasize about other people eating cereal, thankyouverymuch.Â
Gray Asexual- You only like Lucky Charms and Apple Jacks. And maybe Fruity Pebbles but youâre not quite sure.
Demisexual- You see a box of Trix. You are familiar with the rabbit on the box, due to the commercials youâve seen. You always sympathized with the rabbit for never getting any Trix. There are things in life youâve wanted but have never gotten. You feel a bond with the rabbit. Suddenly that box of Trix looks tasty.
Fraysexual- You see a box of Cocoa Puffs. You have never heard of Cocoa Puffs in your life. But something about it is oh-so-appealing. You pour yourself a bowl. As you start to eat, you catch a commercial for Cocoa Puffs on TV. You now know what the mascot on the box is like. You lose interest in Cocoa Puffs for reasons you cannot explain.
Lithosexual- You notice a box of Fruit Loops. You feel an urge to eat it. Toucan Sam comes to life and asks you to eat them. This makes you uncomfortable, so you leave to watch Netflix with the sex-repulsed ace.
Reciprosexual- You have no interest in any of the cereal. Not even that box of Frosted Flakes. But Tony the Tiger shows up wanting you to eat the Frosted Flakes. Now that he wants you to eat Frosted Flakes, you want to eat Frosted Flakes.Â
Cupiosexual- You want to eat cereal, but none of the cereal looks appealing. Maybe if you grab that box of Corn Flakes, itâll become appealing to you later? Itâs happened to other people. You consider grabbing that box of Corn Flakes, just in case.
Orchidsexual-Â Some of the cereal looks appealing, but you have no interest in eating cereal.
Aceflux- None of the cereal looks good, so you close the pantry. A few days later, you decide to open the pantry again. Now, some of those brands look appetizing. You check the pantry again the next day. None of the cereal looks good anymore.
Quoisexual-Â You have no idea if you like a cereal because you want to eat it, or if you just think the box art is pretty. Does liking the box art count as wanting to eat it? Do you just like the mascot? Does liking the mascot count as wanting to eat the cereal? After reading everything Iâve written, you are still confused. You bang your head against the pantry in frustration.
Lemme kick the fucking bear again.
"Ace people can want and have sex!" directly throws people who actually don't want sex under the bus.
And when I talk about asexuals feeling like they have to sleep with someone, or feeling like they should have sex they aren't interested in, I don't even fuckin believe in asexuality. So I'm not talking about your twitter mutual who is "asexual" but fucks like a rabbit. I'm talking about people who have a low, almost nonexistent, libido for whatever reason who are having sex for others rather than themselves. And I fuckin specified that.
Those people are out there, and all the people who wanna be fuckin special are actively harming them by pushing the idea that it's totally okay to sleep with people you aren't attracted to.
There are people out there who need to be told it's okay to not have sex. Need to be told it's okay to be celibate. Need to be told it's okay to seek out a romantic relationship with someone who is gonna be okay or even happy with never having sex again.
"You can have sex" is not fucking revolutionary. It's not helping anyone. Especially a group that is mostly female; it's not helpful to tell them they can have sex out of obligation to their partner (typically a boyfriend).
Why is it always the people who may actually face hardship who get tossed tf out by these oh so woke queers?
The idea that "asexual" people can have sex just to satisfy their partner and that's an okay good thing never sat right with me, but it actually terrifies me now.
Why would their partner want that? I can't think of a reason that you would choose to have sex your partner doesn't want if you love them. I can't think of one.
It's different from "one of us is in the mood, one of us isn't, but we'll both get there" (even though that can be an iffy way of going about things sometimes)
Like, how I feel about asexuality itself is irrelevant here. Let's just follow the logic:
Your partner doesn't like sex
Is not attracted to you
Does not get aroused how the average person does, at the very least
May not get aroused at all
May or may not get any enjoyment out of actual sex
You know all this
You still sleep with them
You still ask for sex
You cannot love someone if this is how you treat them. I see it as predatory behavior.

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WHAT?!
Something so matter-of-factly named... never clicked in my oblivious brain.
If you donât believe being asexual has any negative affect on people I was told by a psychiatrist that none of my relationships count because we didnât have sex, and I canât say Iâm gay since I donât want to have sex with girls.
and I was taken off my antidepressants because they may be lowering the libido I never had in the first place (plus various other reasons, but still immediately, cold turkey, which should NEVER happen unless theyâre switching you to something else)
But aphobia doesnât exist and asexuals are privileged, right?
Top this, bottom that. Iâm sex repulsed. I donât care. Get your pocket knife out and whittle me a duck. Thatâll impress me.
I just want a nice girl to call me honey and cuddle me while we watch scary movies is that so much to ask

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You Might Be Asexual If:
(obligatory disclaimer: agreeing or disagreeing with one or more of these does not necessarily make you ace or NOT ace, your experience will vary!)
Youâre not sure if youâve ever felt sexual attraction.
Youâre not even sure what âsexual attractionâ is vs. other types of attraction
Youâve ever had to just pick a person (celebrity or otherwise) that you had a âcrushâ on in order to fit in with your peers (regardless of gender)
Youâve felt pressured to pursue relationships because âthatâs just what everyone doesâ
Youâve felt pressured to kiss/touch/have sex with someone because âthatâs just what everyone doesâ
Your peers being obsessed with sex makes you feel deeply uncomfortable or excluded
Youâve tried to mimic sex jokes or sexualized behaviors in order to fit in with your peers.
Youâve ever felt like âwell, I guess must be bi/pan because my level of attraction towards everyone is the sameâ (and that sameness feeling isnât actually, yâknow, sexual attraction) (Iâm just saying youâd be surprised how many aces start off identifying as bisexual or pansexual and then realize they are bi/pan ace or aro ace)
People having crushes/dating/having sex feels like a joke and youâre pretty sure everyone else is also faking or exaggerating their attractions (but then you realize theyâre Not)
There are times when you suddenly remember that other people Fuck in real life, with Each Other, and itâs surreal as hell
The entire topic of sex is repulsive to you, or your just donât understand why other people care about it so much.
You donât understand people who complain if they go without sex for X days.
You donât understand why people cheat (in real life or media), no matter how âhotâ the person they cheated with is.
Youâre fine thinking about sex as a vague concept, or even other people having sex (especially in fiction and/or on video) but when the topic of sex involves you personally, (or real life people) itâs a big nope.
Sexual jokes, innuendo, or flirting tends to go over your head often.
You have no interest or desire to masturbate and donât get why other people do.
You enjoy masturbation but youâd be fine going without it.
You enjoy masturbation and canât understand why some people claim that it isnât âenoughâ for them vs having sex.
The idea of the âhoneymoon nightâ (or other implied social sexual contracts, like a date expecting sex in return for dinner/being nice) fills you with dread.
The idea of having sex is strange or upsetting for you.
You enjoy sex but youâd be fine going without it.
You enjoy sex but canât understand why some people seem addicted to it.
Sex is something you enjoy (or endure) moreso to have intimacy with your partner or because you want them to be pleased.
Youâve ever told someone you donât want a relationship/donât want to have sex, and they felt sorry for you or acted like youâre weird even though youâre perfectly happy.
Bonus:
You might be Grey Asexual if:
Youâve definitely felt sexual attraction (maybe) but itâs a rare occurrence
(Not to be confused with having a libido)
You might be Demisexual if:
Youâve definitely felt sexual attraction (maybe) but it was only after getting to know someone really well and only for that person (and even then, it might come and go at times)
If you find many of these things relatable, you might wanna look deeper into asexuality!Â
*- Please note that whether or not you have a libido is not a qualifying factor for whether or not you are ace. Some aces have zero desire or need to masturbate, for instance, others do masturbate. Some aces will even have sex to satisfy that drive. Feeling aroused is not the same as sexual attraction. This might sound confusing, but trust me it makes sense when youâre in this situation.
*- Also note that whether you have positive feelings towards sex (for other people or yourself), indifference to sex, or are triggered/repulsed by sex, also has no bearing on whether or not you are asexual. Allosexual people can also be positive, indifferent, or repulsed by sex, especially certain actions.
*- Ultimately, you are ace if you donât experience sexual attraction, but since itâs a really freaking difficult task to recognize the absence of something you donât even feel, this list might help some aces figure themselves out! âĽ
(Feel free to add more! Aphobes and exclusionists, donât interact)
no offence but i think a lot of us me included donât actually want romantic love as badly as we think and really are just lonely and crave a closeness and intimacy that feels out of reach in friendships because of societyâs emphasis on marriage and the nuclear family so we project that into the never ending search for a perfect love and a soulmate when really we all just want to mean something to someone
Top this, bottom that. Iâm sex repulsed. I donât care. Get your pocket knife out and whittle me a duck. Thatâll impress me.
call it kink shaming if you want but iâm more than a little terrified of men who feel that hurting women is sexually gratifyingÂ
âDemisexuals arenât a real thing!!! What you call a âsexual identityâ is literally the norm. We donât want to have sex with people the moment we meet them. We have morals.â
Yeah buddy, nice tryâŚBut youâre not even close.

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âDemisexuality does not refer to the active restraint or repression of sexual desires or actions.â
Iâm the asexual who was sent to conversion therapy as a young teen.
Iâm the asexual who thought they were messed up, and broken, and all alone.
Iâm the asexual who was told by people who I thought were my friends that God didnât approve of my âalternativeâ lifestyle.
Iâm the asexual who felt lost in the clothing isles because I didnât want to look âsexyâ.
Iâm the asexual that struggles with depression, fear, and inadequacy.
Iâm the asexual that is being blocked off from resources. Or that you want out of the LGBTQ+ community.
Iâm the asexual who is being negatively affected by the ace discourse.
Iâm the asexual facing erasure, invalidation, and hate.
Please consider this.
Aphobia exists.
If you donât believe it does then you may very well be contributing to it.
Please think of the people you are effecting.
Be kind.
Be compassionate.
Please.
Donât read the reblogs. Christ.