I haven't blogged in, like, forever.
There is a reason for that.
This (once self-proclaimed) queen bee is now a (not so self-proclaimed( Very.Busy.Person.
Last night, or maybe two days ago, a weird thought struck me. For most people (who are good at Taking It Easy), it may be obvious, (like, duh!) but for me, I swear, it as an AHAAA!!! moment.
Things that matter A LOT to you today may not matter at all, in the long run.
Well, it wasn't so obvious to me because I'm probably not so good at taking it easy. When I want it all (and I want it now), everything seems to matter.
But when I think of, let's say, the past three Decembers, so many things have changed, it's crazy.
Three years ago,04:37 AM was a perfect time to start an afterparty. Now, 04:37 is the time that I get up to catch the plane. Almost every week, at least for the past few months.
Sometimes it seems that the only thing that this December has in common with the December three years ago, is mojitos.
Two years ago, I was hoping for a Feliz Navidad (because it never ends...), and it did turn out to be like Feliz Navidad: in fact quite short but very annoying at times. Oh, and I also was going through the mooting experience. Back then, it seemed larger that life. Now, I still bear my mental scars proudly, but I have almost stopped looking back.
Last December was almost ecstatic. A whole new world had opened up.
This year, every single thing has been rather overwhelming, and I haven't had time to stop and think, or to reminiscence, or to regret. For the past few months, I have been saying yes to everything, and I have been feeling very happy, very tired, very satisfied, very worn out. I've been living a true carpe diem. Only today, in this December darkness, I have found a moment to reflect over my life.
I live as if I would die tomorrow.
I live as if I were immortal.
I'm starting to get grey hair, and it's scary, yet kind of fascinating. So fascinating that I have come up with a beta quote from a story that I haven't written yet (considering my lifestyle, I probably won't have time or energy to write it anytime soon). But I'd rather save it for later. So scared that someone else has already come up with a similar realization.
And now, let's end this shaky entry with some cheese (note to self):
don't let anything or anyone break you down. Things change, people come and go, but you are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life, so be kind to yourself. Don't worry over things because tomorrow you might not even remember why they made you worry. Take chances. Enjoy life. Live to remember and to be remembered. Pain will fade away. The moments that make you happy are the ones that will matter in the long run.
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