âAre you my sisterâs boyfriend?â
âIâm gay and it doesnât matter that Iâm naked.â
âYouâre quite buff.â
âIâm a fucking waste of space.â
âIâm just a stupid kid.â
âIâve loved you since the first time I saw you.â
âI learned how to become a sarcastic bitch to kind of feel normal.â
âYou were the one person who could ruin my life.â
âI pushed you away. I made you think things were your fault. But really, I was just terrified of pain.â
âI didnât want to be a slave to the way I feel about you.â
âI love you. I love you so much, and itâs killing me.â
âI am [first name] fucking [last name], who the fuck are you?â
âWhy does everybody always get to piss on me.â
âEverybodyâs just in it for them fucking selves.â
âI fucking smashed the shit out of that kid!â
âI fucking kicked the shit out of him and I enjoyed it, okay?â
âYou need to do something about your mustache.â
âThose are all people who canât really sing, wear too little clothes, and get married far too young. And what do we call those people?â
âObi Wan Kenobi is like God but with cooler weapons.â
âWhat do you do, if someone you love lets you down?â
âSheâs my sister, youâre just a slut!â
âSo what, she pulled your hair, so you smashed her head open?â
âI want to have sex with girls.â
âEverybody loves me.â
âTwice? Youâre gonna do this to me twice?â
âDonât you dare leave me in your bed again!â
âI think you need somebody to want you.â
âBe brave and want me back.â
âWell, blow bubbles up my bollocks and call me Shirley.â
âWeâd be good together, donât you think?â
âIâll break your heart.â
Super-duper great night at the youth center. I made soup, we prayed, and recycled socks. Soupâfor the homeless. They love soup. It was cream of mushroom.â
âWhy are we friends?â
âItâs got potential, this day. Iâm pregnant.â
âI look at lots of people. That doesnât mean I want to get to know them.â
âDo you want me to get to know you?â
âPervy, donât you think?â
âItâs not about the destination. Itâs about the journey.â
âMom says boys only want one thing, so my plan is to give it to them lots of times, get good at it, be popular, and maybe my toes will stop throbbing.â
âWe were good, werenât we?â
âThe three of us. Together again. And weâve all seen each other naked. Which is⊠nice.â
âFuck the future, dude.â
âWhat happened to my grapes?â
âItâs conceptual. You just canât see it.â
âIt just kindâve happened.â
âDo you know what hurts most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before.â
âI have the best birthday present ever!â
âItâs not a night light, itâs a glow-in-the-dark Batman. Itâs retro.â
âLove is, like, really important. Itâs good to be loved. Even if itâs only for one night.â
âIf only you knew the things Iâd love to do to you.â
âYour friends are shiteheads.â
âYou tried to save my life.â
âWell, I am fuckinâ drunk.â
âWhat did you do with the drugs, man?â
âIf anyoneâs going to be anally searched, it should be me.â
âOh, great. Weâre staying in a fucking prison.â
âBad mood, comfy jim-jams?â
âIâll give you head. Thatâs friendship.â
âIâll kill you, you fucking flat-chested cocksucking spastic horse-fucker!â
â[name] would never, never fuck a horse.â
âWow, you look all horny.â
âSay goodbye to sunshine, sunshine!â
âLast night, man. Cool. Total blast.â
âIs that a picture of my girlfriend?â
âI bet she bangs like a ferret on acid.â
âHey, do you⊠do you wanna hear about the best day of my life?â
âYour stiffie is digging into my back.â
âSpeak for yourself, Casa-never.â
âNo oneâs gonna touch you with a cock that tiny.â
âMy nipples are not funny!â
âWhen Iâm with you, I feel like a better person.â
âLetâs just be friends, okay?â
âWhy are you so horrible?â