untitled, unmastered

All this wine did is put me to sleep

I’ve grown and I’ve realized there has been many moments in time where I wasn’t as good of a person as I may have thought, or that the way I dealt with a situation wasn’t the most ideal. I’ve lost a lot of people I admire simply through being unable to manage/process my emotions and communicate it to those who need to hear it in order for them to love me how I need to be loved, I always chopped it up to being used to disappointment growing up & not wanting to get too attached for the sake of my sanity. I’m realizing now that that’s all ego and while it’s fair to be standoffish and concerned about yourself , nothing good hardly comes from thinking that everyone around you isn’t around you because they like you but only around because it’s beneficial. The truth is that’s not the truth, it’s just so happens that’s an easy lie to tell yourself especially when you don’t think you need to be held accountable for the people you hurt simply by not allowing them to know that you fear trusting them & allowing them the time to show you that they can in fact be trusted.