GREY

Look at your agemates

They are all better than you and doing so much with their lives,unlike you

Try ranking yourself with them,you come last,right?

You should just take yourself out

You are not as pretty as they are

Your body is not as pretty as theirs

What really do you have to show for your life? Nothing,right?

As i have told you over and over, just take yourself out

Nothing that comes from you is ever good enough,in fact,not good at all

You try and fail over and over, once again, i tell you, hoping this to be the last time, take yourself out

Do you think the world will miss you? Do you think anyone will miss someone like you who is flawed and full of mistakes?

Always a f*#k up?

No!! No one will miss you

Everyone will be relieved

People, including strangers will come and make merry at your death. Maybe then will you make an impact of putting a smile on people’s faces ‘cause of your demise”

I looked back at the mirror,smiled and hot the off button in my brain. “Not today! Not ever!! You don’t control me,you don’t own me, i own you and i control you” i said to my brain

I am alive, I am healthy, I am strong, all coz of the endless battles i have had with my brain

The world needs someone exactly like me, the world needs me ‘cause I am worthy and I have worthy impacts

When did the rain start beating us?

We were perfect, so good together

Never in a million years did we ever think we’d throw words at each

We saw couples fight

And said we were better than that

Then came our first fight

It wasn’t ugly

Peaceful and amicably did we solve our issues

We kissed and made up after it

“Haha first fight was kinda awesome” we joked and laughed

“We are such adults” we both thought to ourselves

Then came our second and third fight

Amicable was such a foreign word

We both wanted to have the last word and be right

We went to sleep angry at each other

We didn’t care about how the other party felt

All we cared was who was right and who wrong

Puffed eyes in the morning from crying

But no one seemed bothered by the other’s wellbeing

Later after we were in a throuple with fights

It was our daily bread

Not a day would pass without a fight

If it did,we’d fight because we haven’t fought

Then came the mother of all fights

Where fists were involved

Black and blue were faces and arms

Nothing could be solved after this

It all ended

No one saw it get to this

Maybe we could have stopped it

But both our egos were too big

Is it worth it?

I thought it was only attention and love

Told myself I could easily afford that

Until my peace of mind was at stake

This is what society taught us

In the contrary

The strongest people are those who offer second chances

We had promised each other forever

I did’t know forever would be that short

You moved on so fast like we never existed

Left me questioning my worth

Now I see you holding her

The same way you used to hold me

Your hugs are tighter

Something I craved for

I see her laugh, guess you are telling her the jokes you used to tell me

Your skin got clearer

Is she giving you peace more than I used to?

I remember you said forever

I gave you my all cause I knew I was yours forever

Right?

You gave me only parts of you

I knew it

I felt it

But i wasn’t brave enough to question about the gaps I felt

I guess you are giving her your all

Cause when I look at you, I see a stranger

Everything about you is now new

It feels like i’ve never known you

The handshake you gave me the day we met

I could sense you in my body still

Clearly parts of me still remember parts of you

There is a place in my soul that had built a home

And labelled it you

Im sure it exists

Where my heart is happy

But you blew it

You left me saying that I’m too clingy

I was forced to learn how to live alone

And more, to live without you

As time went by, I knew my worth

And I learnt that I would never leave myself

That made me strong

Never would I have thought that I could be strong on my own

Thank you! For the light you brought upon me

Now that you’ve seen how strong I am

You keep telling me you admire that

But you had your chance

And blew it