Darker Desires

What is a Ruined Orgasm?

I guess the biggest misunderstanding about ruined orgasms comes from the word “ruined”. It has a negative connotation. It suggests something unpleasant or unfinished. It's also often called a "touchless orgasm", which is more accurate I believe.

"Ruined" is simply inaccurate. A perfectly “ruined” orgasm is still an orgasm! It will feel profoundly different, but it will always be WONDERFUL – especially if you use it as a way to prolong your lovemaking! Males have been giving themselves orgasms for many years, but one thing that it is basically impossible for them to do is give themselves a "ruined orgasm". This, among other things, is what makes it so mind-blowing.

The basic concept is very simple, in theory at least. Let’s say that his point of no return (the precise moment, no matter what happens, once reached, the body gives the “kick-off” and inevitably triggers the orgasm) is very precisely seven minutes, then you must stimulate him for just under seven minutes (and not a second more). At that moment, release his nub and absolutely stop all your stimulation. As long as he doesn’t receive physical stimulation, his orgasmic reflexes will lead him straight to a ruined orgasm. Mission accomplished!

The key to a ruined orgasm is to find the right moment to interrupt the stimulation. Instead of “letting go at the last second”, you can stop much sooner. The goal is to leave him on the verge of orgasm, as if time were suspended, for as long as possible before his body triggers the ejaculatory reflexes. If you do it correctly his semen should just flow effortlessly drip down along his straining nub.

Do you see that “floating” moment, the time it takes for the semen to flow without caressing it? If so, congratulations, you’ve done it!

Benefits of a Ruined Orgasm

If done correctly, he will still be horny afterwards and will stay hard as a rock, still wanting more, even though he just ejaculated. Ruined orgasms are great when you want to give him an orgasm but still leave him horny when you lock him back up. Or, if you plan to have an all-night love-making session but you are afraid that he will cum to quickly, you can start your evening with a touchless orgasm.

He will experience no 'refractory period' after a ruined orgasm. Whereas a normal orgasm causes him to lose his erection and enter what  is called the “refractory period” where he is no longer motivated to  have sex, a ruined orgasm has the opposite effect – it causes him to  stay hard, fully aroused, hyper-energized, and HIGHLY motivated.

His recover period will be MUCH quicker, and if you have sex after a ruined orgasm, he will last must longer too!

Most of the benefits of a long period in chastity (for you - i.e. motivation, energy, increased oxytocin etc) will not be lost after a ruined orgasm.

How to give a Ruined Orgasm

I'll start by saying that there is no 'one right way'. But this is what I like to do...

SETUP:

Tell him to lie down on his back.

Ideally, restrain his hands behind his back, or tell him to lie on his hands. Most males can't be trusted to not touch their nub at the crux of the ruined orgasm! Tell him he is at no point allowed to touch his (your!) nub. Throw in a blindfold for fun, if you feel like it.

Tell him you are going to give him a ruined orgasm, and that he should not cum until you tell him he can.

TIP: If you don't feel like direct skin contact or don't want any 'mess', tell him to wear tight lycra shorts or swim briefs, and then stroke him through the fabric, rather than have him completely naked.

PROCESS:

With your male on his back, take one hand (i.e. my left hand), and grip his balls and pull them away from his body until his penis is pointing up at almost 90 degrees.

With your right hand's index finger, stroke upwards (from the balls to the tip of the nub) slowly and deliberately. his most sensitive part is the area on the underside of his nub just before the tip. Stop just short of this area. It's much harder for a male to orgasm with an upward stroke as opposed to a downward one.

Keep this motion up for a while. Don't speed up - slow and steady is what you want, so that you don't drive him over the edge too quickly.

Every 10-15 strokes, slowly rub the sensitive area a few times, or gave a few circles along the head of his nub, and then to go back to the slow upward stroking motion.

If you feel his balls contract, or his nub twitches, let go with both hands immediately. Tell him to not cum - "no cumming... don't cum yet". Or you can ask him to announce when he is getting close. When he says "I'm close", let go with both hands. Count to 20, and then pull his balls away again and start with the slow upward motion.

Eventually (or soon, depending on the lockup period!), even letting go completely will cause him to go over the edge. Don't stimulate him at all at this point. The cum should ooze gently from the tip of his nub and down the shaft - no spurting, no major twitching... a perfectly ruined orgasm.

ADDED EXTRA: The second you see any cum being released, tap / slap his balls with the flat of your hand for 20-30 seconds or until all of the cum has been released. Be careful not to touch the penis at this point, only the balls.

Tell him to clean up and re-lock his nub immediately.

Bravo - you've done it!

As mentioned, everyone does it differently, but this is a basic 101! Trust me, he will be begging you for more in no time!!

Pro Tip: If your male is caged and you don't wish to unlock him for a ruined orgasm, use a vibrator or vibrating massager and simply place it on the base ring of his cage, underneath his balls. The vibrations will eventually bring him to the point of orgasm. Ensure he tells you when he is close to climax. At this point, stop the vibrations and cease all contact. If you time it right, his cum with leak out of the front of the cage in a perfectly ruined orgasm.

Tonight was both very rewarding, and, a little painful ( though the torment didn't last TOO long ) firstly I will say me and Mistress L are re-acquainting, and that's nice, we do have a history. So most of our conversations tonight ( and to specify i mean about after midnight, i get confused on the times so, I need to specify, it was TONIGHT 4-12 BUT after midnight so, 4-13. )

We had a fairly intimate and vanilla chat, like two normal people, about our days, our past partners, blah blah, and that's nice to have that connection and not be just like all leather and lace, I'm beginning to appreciate her presence in my life, and I'm not someone who connects well.

So for the fun bit ( the part YOU want to read ) I did have a masturbation session tonight, midnight, in which she shared some rather intimate photos of her in the tub, and even a short video of her playing with her nipples, frankly i was more drawn to the evil smile in that video, but the tits didn't hurt. How it usually goes is she will tell me to stroke, at what speed ( we go 1-10 ) and when to stop, when to edge, etc, she will stop me and have me rub my balls and things of that nature.

So we did that tonight (again really 4-12 but it was after midnight ) and I have to say, even though i haven't had a LONG denial period YET, its, getting pretty intense, and I feel it, wont lie. I told her we both need this and the reward mentally is worth the suffering, it legitimately makes me feel good, to make her feel so good. Too much of this lifestyle is like "you're not a man blah blah" and if that's what you're into, there's nothing wrong with that, however I don't feel like less of a man surrendering myself for the benefit of her and her pleasures, though society would disagree at large. It's not all roses, I DO suffer but, I'm suffering for a good cause.

Anyways, my assignment tonight is another edge before I sleep, I have no idea when my next orgasm will be, nor do I want to know, it's her call. I do suspect they will be dwindling, they usually do, but the videos and media tonight was pretty rough, shes very photogenic when she wants to be...

Imagine my delight to waking up and catching @darkerperversions still awake.

Last night was more about connecting on a more mundane level. It was a long hard 10.5 hour shift at work and I truly just needed him and his presence. I was so stressed and tense and even some pain but by being able to vent and distress through talking I was able to relax and tease my good boy for more stress relief. I appreciate him more then he realizes sometimes.

I was so excited after reading his update and when I saw he was still awake welll I had to take advantage of my slave AND ensure he went to bed and slept.

While the idea of making him ruin really gets me going,but it’s important he does get sleep. I didn’t want him to be frustrated enough he couldn’t sleep and after added teasing and two more orgasms for me I decided if he could cum within a time limit he could. And he could sleep satisfied and content, possibly for one of the last times.

I knew he could cum in three minutes like a good little slave. So eager. If I hadn’t controlled it it would have been sooner, he had himself worked up into quite a frenzy after giving him some personal material for his viewing torments.

One of the reasons I set up this blog ( besides for Mistress L's amusement ) was because I am very bad at keeping track of times and events, there are many reasons for this I wont get into, hours and days blur to me. So my sufferings are recorded, clearly, however it seems like every day shes had 2, 3 orgasms.

Long ago we used to have a ratio rule, she got to cum so many times before I got to, that's clearly out the window (which is good, she should cum as much as she wants sans worrying about me), however I'm curious as to just how many orgasms shes having, especially if they're at my expense. I might try to tally it as we go on and put a cum count ( Her vs. me ) at the end of my journal entries. I'm pretty scatter brained sometimes so I'd need help there.

( my estimate at this point is I've had two orgasms, and shes had ohh, 14 or so )

Tonight I spoke with L ( I'm not sure if she wants me to refer to her as such in these posts [ I usually address her as Ma'am, which is her preference, however she doesn't dislike the title Mistress or Goddess ] I guess we'll find out ) for oh an hour or so, mostly catching up on the day to day.

She did however, inform me she had 2 orgasms today, and of course reminded me of how I didn't, couldn't, which is her right. I woke up yesterday and had 1 edge, the rule thusfar is an edge should take atleast 10 minutes ( meaning I can't get to an edge for atleast 10 minutes ) so there is some technique involved there, I can't just throttle to a quick edge. I'm not sure if this rule will apply to multiple edging assignments ( 2 edges, 20 minutes, etc. ) again, we shall see. The edge was fine but the random thoughts thereafter came sporadically, and I found myself getting hard on and off throughout the day.

Tonight when I sleep, I am to edge again. She seemed to specify in bed, I know this is deliberate but to what end I'm not sure, is it so I have no pornographic stimuli and therefore have to focus my thoughts on her ( which I will ) or is it just so I have trouble falling asleep after, the psychology of this lifestyle makes it the most fascinating sexual endeavor of endeavors, to me atleast. The quote goes: "chastity is the most unnatural perversion" and it is, getting off from not getting off is a complex endeavor psychologically, emotionally, physiologically.

When I wake up, I'm to edge, however, again, much to my surprise, I'm allowed to have an orgasm today. She says this is due to, of course us just getting back into it ( on and off she has controlled me for years now but it's been a long time ) but also because apparently I've been particularly good and attentive, which, makes me happy that she's happy. So I'll try to not overthink the mercy this time. My suspicion is it will be heavy teasing and not very long denial periods, to get me used to the tease, and then the periods will increase, not to put that idea in her head, that just feels like it's where its going. She's also expressed an interest in slaves ONLY getting ruined orgasms, and no real orgasms ever, I don't think she will do THAT to me, but I'm sure ruins are going to be a very regular thing. She told me I am to make a journal post on the aspects entailed in this intro, and I think the best way would be to do it sectionally:

The Edge at Night:

Not a ton to say here, I went fairly slow for 10 minutes, then starting picking up speed, and reached a fairly safe edge. I DID go to bed throbbing but I got over it.

The Edge in the Morning:

I was sore this morning actually, it was almost like a dull burn rather than an ache. I had some trouble keeping away from the edge for those 10 minutes, I know that seems pathetic at this stage. But I managed, and eventually had a very CLOSE edge, almost too close. I then took a little break before I finished.

The Orgasm:

I was like a kid at christmas thinking I ACTUALLY get to do this. I tried to take my time and enjoy it, as i don't know when the next one will be and, it's getting a rarer experience for me in general, but before too long I was throttling it like mad, and I had a very relieving orgasm. It wasn't the size I expected, I expected more, but it was still quite alot. After I laid in bed smoking a cigarette and felt that burn go away and felt pretty good.

I suppose there IS a method to my tormentings, however you don’t need to concern yourself with them and just keep being a good boy, doing what I task you with. I will add though, I do not intend to mess with your sleep, my goal there was for me to your last thought before slumber. The task upon waking, you guessed it, was so I’m your first thought. Your reward was because I knew you wouldn’t have an accident, I do know what you’re capable of. I wanted you to know you had a reward coming because working life would prevent me from giving it to you when I wanted. You won’t always know when you get rewarded till it happens.

I do like how you innocently give me more ideas without trying.

Your reward next time will come with explicit instructions, so you can savor it better.

And Ma’am or Mistress L will do.

Oh but I think you’re doing just fine darling. Every time you don’t cum, every time you get so close to the edge, it’s sublime. The way you whine and moan and look at me with those big puppy dog eyes, begging the only way you’re allowed. So sweet and cute.