lady lazarus

        The room was melting around her. Neon skin and faceless bodies in a crowd, she was heat vision, skating through a mob of white-shirted bodies where glow-in-the-dark paint shone from cheekbones and breastplates. There was a feeling in her chest like the hatching of a bird and Greta found herself unsure if it was caused by the abundance of love and acceptance that bled through the carnival air or perhaps the chemicals in her bloodstream, back-alley traded and swallowed in a vodka soda. With glitter smeared cheekbones she drifted through the roller-rink, half on skates and half on wings, dripping silver from the creases of her tear ducts, neon paint in symbols up her skin. She fell before she remembered how to stand, one moment gliding effortlessly, the next clicking skates and tumbling headfirst into a pack of bodies. Grazed knees. Head rush. It was a second or two before she came to, pulling herself up by the elbow of the nearest figure and dropping into their chest. “Shit. Totally just stacked it. How embarrassing.” Her skin felt like skin again, a nervous adrenaline still thrumming beneath the surface of it, an eagerness in her to touch, taste, feel, smell as she inhaled the other’s scent. “Sorry for jumping you or whatever. You just look really good in neon,” Greta noted, pushing back her hair as she righted herself on her rollerskates, knee-high socks now torn and stained, hand extending towards her knight in shining tinfoil. “Fancy a lap of the ring? Promise I’ll go gentle on you.” 

darby usually wasn’t the type to put herself out there in neon clothes and events like this, more the type to stand on the sidelines and wait for someone to approach her at events. she couldn’t always be so aloof, and she couldn’t be the distant hot girl while in bright clothes and roller derby gear. buying neon clothes and face paint just for this event, she wasn’t a total ice queen who refused to have some fun, and she kind of liked the getting rough and sweaty part that came with roller derby. it brought out some other side of her, an innate desire to get pummeled by hot girls and do the same to them. she had been skating around with ease after some practice, following the lead of those more experienced than her until she got the hang of it. that was one thing darby could appreciate about herself (and she appreciated many things about herself), that she picked up on things very easily. it seems others did not, and she briefly felt a surge of annoyance at the feeling of someone using her body to help themselves up, almost shaking them off until she noticed who it was. “aw, babe, did you take a rough fall?” she pouted down at greta, taking a brief moment to be a little sadistic before making sure she was up and steady. “what a coincidence seeing you here. i was just thinking about you the other day.” that wasn’t true, but lies didn’t always have to be a bad thing. “thanks, neon usually isn’t my thing but when in rome right? i can say the same for you anyways.” this was genuine, no teasing involved, not fully at least. she actually did like greta, she found her sweet, not irritating in the slightest, but she just loved to see how she reacted to so much she did. at the first offer darby took her hand in hers, already starting to skate and lead the way, not letting go. “i never took you for the gentle type.”

His gaze didn’t stray, brown eyes stuck to Darby as he listened to her, eyebrows slowly beginning to crawl upwards towards his hairline. “Damn,” he breathed out, sounding almost mystified – and, honestly, he kind of was. “You’re actually giving me serious advice on how to market my feet to the masses.” An amused smile tugged up at the corner of his mouth before he amended, “Well, to a small minority of the masses, but still –” It was more of a reaction than he’d expected to get, and considering that he’d never so much as listed an ad on Craigslist before, Dalton wasn’t so sure that he could do much with Darby’s pricing critique, either. Shaking his head and shifting where he sat, he stretched out his legs before giving into a chuckle. “Any chance that I can get you to be my rep?” His head cocked to the side. “’Cause, y’know, all these social media influencers have managers now. I think that foot… models? I guess. They should, too.”

her lips quirk up into a smile, a small breathy laugh sneaking out between her lips at his reaction to all she said. “deep down i’m a business woman, what can i say?” she shrugged after she said it, nonchalant as she had no care with how bizarre the topic of her advice might be. and with his offer she was more than intrigued, half thinking it was a joke on his part, but in the case that it was not she was more than down to help. “honestly? i’d love to. i’m a pro when it comes to that, so if you’re serious about it you’ve come to the right girl. of course if it takes off i’ll want a percentage, but until then i’ll be kind enough to do it for free.” she offered, never one to say no to some easy cash, and somehow she loved working when it was something like this. it was like math, you hated it when you had no clue how to do it, but once you got the hang of it it was almost fun to fill out that worksheet and know you got all the problems right.

“Saw some elementary school teacher on there, earlier,” he said. “Something scandalous about fucking a married man that teaches primary… Not sure what it is, though,” he continued, considering this for a moment. “Meet some weirdos on there, too. Can never be too careful.”

“you have to be an idiot to sign up for that while you’re married, it’s like begging to be blackmailed and have your life ruined.” it reminded her of that ashley madison website, and how it bit everyone in the ass once the truth was revealed. “that’s part of the fun, you can get some crazy story out of it. and if you’re worried that’s when you have one of your friends inconspicuously be at the same restaurant as you to make sure everything's okay.” 

“Counts for something,” Blake suggested, snorting at the suggestion as he rolled his eyes. “Damn — I guess we really are desperate for a shred of entertainment. I’m about five minutes from downloading Grindr on my phone again just for something to fucking do.”

that makes darby laugh and lean over closer to him, nudging him with her shoulder so as to motivate him more. “do it, i love seeing people mess around on apps like that or tinder. it’s so funny, especially when you end up seeing someone you know who you never thought would be on there.”

adrian had to stop himself from bursting into some sort or rude, sarcastic laughter as he took a puff from his cigarette pointedly. “i’ve heard the lectures,” he sighed, finally tossing it to the ground and stomping it out with his foot, obviously moved just enough by her story to put down the smoke for a moment. “boring’s kind of nice. trust me, livingstone’s alright,” he added, leaning over the rail that blocked in his patio, appreciating the breeze blowing in from the beach. this was his favorite way to spend a morning after a party, looking out onto the water and pretending he was somewhere else, someone else. darby was some of his favorite company he’d had. “i’ve had someone tell me they think i look like wolfman. took it as an insult at the time, but the more i think about it, i guess it’s kind of sweet. we live in a  post twilight society, werewolves are in.”

her eyes pointed at him briefly, trying to understand where he was coming from in his sentiment of boring being good. before living here she had never known what boring was, always having something to do, somewhere to be, or someone to meet. moving here for work, she knew absolutely no one, isolated from the world she once knew and shifting from the high ground she had been so accustomed to. her entire life had changed once she moved here, and maybe part of her was changing too. “hey, wolfman is a pretty good one. i mean werewolves have been sexy since an american werewolf in london.”

“Christ, my dear apologies. Thought this whole fiasco would’ve helped knock the stick out of your asshole but it seems like it’s still there, yeah?” Jade raised her eyebrows, scrunching her nose as she mirrored Darby’s movements. She leaned across the mantle, shoving her hand in her pocket and taking out a joint wrapped in blue paper, reeking of lavender and weed and blueberries. She chuckled with the joint in her mouth, waving a lighter in front of the girl’s face before flicking a flame to the end. “Loosen up, Claire Standish. We’re on this planet for like, what, twenty more years? Not to mention our town’s getting hacked by evil Russians and we’re under a bubble being inspected by the FBI. Peace offering?”

darby’s eyes briefly glossed over at the girls words, feeling as if she had a flashback to a younger version of herself who thought those same lines of ‘stick up your ass’ was cool. those memories almost made her smile, thinking back to a version of herself so different to the woman she had become, but decided against it as a distant look in her eyes and smile would make her seem crazed. the girl didn’t seem too bad, though she radiated that feeling of someone who thought they knew the world yet had so much to learn. was she right about that? no clue, though it was a flaw of darby’s to always make assumptions about people when first meeting them, and that flaw wouldn’t seem to go away. her mouth threatened to make a smile as she scoffed, leaning her head to the side as she crossed her arms. “a breakfast club reference? and i’m assuming you’d be ally sheedy’s character in this scenario?” she could almost laugh, right as she made her own mental assumption about the girl in front of her, said girl had done the same (and painfully incorrect) in a comparison of her and claire standish. how far from the truth one could be. “i’ll take the olive branch.”

       he wasn’t an idiot, he knew when he was being stared at - but he kinda just hoped it would go away and when it she doesn’t - he sighs exasperatedly. “ sorry but doubt it.” he raises his eyebrows, offering her a tight smile as he looks down at her. “ oddly?” he’s picking at her words, even though she hadn’t done much to warrant him being cold. “ was there something i could do for you?” he asks, the hint of sarcasm and frustration tied up together in his words - kind of like when your mom would make you apologise to the kid who stole your basketball.

she had to hold back an eye roll at his attitude, it seemed like one of an irritating child, thinking they were above those around them because their parents had told them so. she usually would’ve walked away, not one to waste her time on someone who clearly did not want her there, and yet she had some inkling telling her to stay. she thought she had pretty good intuition, that she could trust her gut. she ignored his cold words, the venom hidden laced in them, and gave him a bright smile instead and stuck her hand out. “well i’m darby, nice to meet you.”

“I didn’t really know Kieran… The one who died,” she said, shrugging her shoulder. “Knew Michael a bit, though. Wouldn’t peg him for a murderer, but you never really know people. It’s kind of interesting, you know? Makes you kinda question everything.”

darby’s lips quirk up slightly in a knowing smile, barely there, yet reaching her eyes in a way that might unnerve someone who stared too deep into them. “people are so rarely what you expect or think they are, even if you think you’re the one who knows them best. we are too deeply nuanced.”

“Some positive people make it a personality trait, that’s why,” he complained, brushing a hand over his forehead as he fought off a headache. “What about you? Anything new and exciting to be positive about? Keep the cycle going.”

she mentally scratches her head trying to think of something, despite all the chaos of the app things here were relatively mundane in the average day and life, nothing happening to compare to the excitement of her past lives out of here. when darby finally thinks of something she shrugs, knowing it isn’t much. “i got a free drink last night, does that count?”

“It’s because this is exciting, you know?” she suggested. “Not in the way that I like to see anyone getting hurt, but it’s just — I mean, how often do you get to say you’re directly impacted by a murder? Part of a real-life true crime? It’s hard not to find it at least a little exciting.”

“oh trust me, i know.” she smiles at the cute girl, leaning in so as to tell a secret. “it’s kind of bad to say but i’m kind of loving it. i mean the whole thing is tragic, of course, but i didn’t know anyone in the situation and it has no effect on me. as an outsider, it’s the perfect entertainment.”

“Don’t think they care much,” he admitted, shaking his head. “I mean, I’ll be in my forties and they’ll still be hanging around, watching over me,” he remarked, scoffing shakily as he considered it. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter. Just means I’ll probably have more money and they said they’ll be travelling a lot, so a full beach house. The optimal location for parties.”

she shrugged, not giving her full attention, half as a power play and half because she couldn’t be bothered to. “good for you, looking at the positive side of it. that’s an admirable trait, being positive without being annoying, a very thin line too many people cross.” she points out, trying to look at the positive as well.

darby didn’t have an eye for people, and she meant that in the fact that she rarely could remembers one name. people seemed like a shadow in her mind, as if she had seen that face before but couldn’t quite place where or who they were. she had no meaning or time to remember every person she met, many too inconsequential to keep a spot in her brain. yet looking at the tall brunette she found herself staring a bit too long, trying to put her finger on where she had seen him, eventually giving up and just confronting him herself. “sorry, do i know you? you seem oddly familiar.”