You Need To Get It Together: A Playbook On Everything Girls Need To Understand
First things first, beauty.
I don’t care what people say, beauty DOES take you far. Your appearance is the FIRST impression you’re going to make, take pride in it. But of course, don’t try to match someone else’s beauty- play to yours. Looking well-put-together is a door opener, trust me.
make sure your hair is healthy! all hair types are beautiful when healthy, moisturized, and taken care of! keep up with your trims, explore complimenting cuts/layers for your face, etc. find THAT hairstyle(s) for you.
SKIN- tretinoin is your best friend. of course discuss with your dermatologist but it’s heaven sent and you will literally have the poreless, line-free, glass like skin. find a great skincare regimen that isn’t irritating or drying. i strongly encourage Korean Skincare! (link here)
MAKEUP- in MY opinion and experience/witnessing of others, natural glams are the best for many reasons. It’s timeless, you make it complimentary to YOUR features, it never looks like too much or too little, it’s quick (lol) and it just look a lot more out together than other styles. this doesn’t mean you can’t explore BUT i’d advise people to work with their features and what enhances their beauty. for example those huge 25mm, strong and hard no. there are some people than can pull them off but it’s very easy for these lashes to over power your face and just look odd, almost tacky even. a great lash for volume, glam, and even a little boldness without being WOAH, would be KissLashes Jubilee, you can stack these for a deeper effect (make sure you trim your lash bands to your eye-length lol) also another great brand is Doseoflashes and the “Baddie” lash they offer- gives that lash extension effect if you don’t want the commitment. short wispy volume is probably the best way to go. you also want your base to be a natural skin like finish. not too matte, not too dewy. makeup examples below
BODYCARE- keep up with waxes/lasering/shaving. use a glycolic body wash on top of your usual shower gels/bar soaps. this will gently exfoliate your skin and keep and discoloration/texture almost nonexistent. body scrubs are great, and i advise a thick body cream! feminine(down there) hygiene should NOT be this elaborate. remember- cleansing soap FIRST, then a nice scented bodywash.
HAVE A SIGNATURE SCENT! i cannot stress this enough. the trick to making sure you smell good ALL day is layering. complimenting bodycream/perfume. even a little perfume oil. make sure you’re hitting the key body points for your perfumes. make sure it’s nothing that smells childish or teen like. find you a beautiful, captivating scent.
keep your nails done! short nails are a bit more practical and are something i like to think is again, more complimentary. they don’t have to extremely short unless you want them too but definitely nothing over a shmedium length.
same goes for toes ^ keep those things DONE. and keep your feet moisturized. you should NOT have crusty dusty heels.
CLOTHING SHOULD FIT YOU WELL. i cannot stress the importance of dressing for your body type. if you don’t take anything away from this guide, take that. ill fitting clothing is such a turn off to like everyone lol. take advantage of a tailor!
avoid that cheap clubby type of clothing. nothings wrong with a little risqué outfit, BUT make sure your clothes are quality and don’t look like some fashion nova party city situation.
speaking of risqué, please know how to do it RIGHT so you don’t look raunchy or tacky. have a balance. i love a mini skirt, a crop top, a mini dress, etc but your clothing choices should not be down right nasty lol. (example the HOISERY as pants, don’t get me started)
this will be broken up into categories.
GET THIS IN ORDER. As a woman, you should want to have your own money.
Make use of professionals in the financial world – CPAs, your brokerage firms etc.
Learn how to invest. Especially with a Roth IRA/backdoor Roth. Educate yourself on personal finance.
Understand your 401k & employer.
HAVE AN EMERGENCY FUND. This is so important.
spend on things that are useful/pleasurable for you. make sure important things are taken care of first. understand your income/out ratio and know where your money is going and where you can make cuts if needed.
Mental Health/Wellness/Self.
Understand that NO ONE is coming to save you. You need to help YOURSELF and honor YOURSELF.
the most serious thing first- if you’re struggling with trauma, depression, etc seek a great therapist. there’s nothing wrong with therapy and it’s completely confidential. you don’t even need to tell people that you’re in therapy.
Keep your space clean and organized. this does wonders for the brain. look into the magic of feng shui.
take time for yourself. spoil yourself.
make sure you’re moving daily! take walks (safely) hit your local gym, take a pilates class, yoga, cycling- anything. you have one life and one body, make sure it’s healthy.
fuel your body. you don’t have to be an utterly insane health freak BUT you can be mindful of what you’re consuming/how often. a balanced diet is key to feeling great mentally AND physically, plus the obvious health benefits. do research on what’s best for your body and individual needs food wise. last thing- EAT, HYDRATE AND BE HEALTHY. you don’t need to restrict your body of food (unless for certain health problems stated by your doctors, then of course keep those certain foods out of your diet) stay away from fad diets as they can lead to EDs.
be careful with alcohol. who doesn’t love a fun drink? just make sure you realize you don’t absolutely have to drink to have a good time, but if you do want to, make sure it’s not something you’re depending on.
8 hours of sleep. your body NEEDS to rest and recoup. make sure your bedroom is a sleep sanctuary almost. set the mood, develop a routine, drink tea, get cozy with a book or journal and wind down. ensuring you’re having proper rest can again, make you feel good mentally AND physically.
Have enough discipline to do what you need to do even when motivation is lacking. point blank.
if something is not serving you, stressing you out and you can control it? do something about it. stop complaining and not being solution based. you are NOT obligated to put up with/do anything you don’t want to or anything that doesn’t make you feel good. it’s THAT simple.
Being a Powerhouse of a Woman
like i said you are NOT obligated to do anything or deal with anything you don’t like. so take NO sh*t.
being a powerhouse of a woman means keeping your values, expectations, and aspirations FIRM and unwavering. you want what you want, you expect what you expect- and you will get it. anything that does not line up to that should be cut and never be revisited.
stand up for yourself. letting people walk all over you, take advantage of you, disrespect you, etc does what exactly? nothing good for you so learn how to set those boundaries and check/drop people. understand that projection is not about you, it’s the them.
STOP CARING. caring about what people think of you does absolutely nothing for you, but keep you safe and small. Peoples thoughts, opinions, and projections do not directly affect your life anyway so caring about them search absolutely no purpose. People are not taking money from you, stop in your blessings, etc. So again, why care? Be sure of yourself and everyone else are nonfactors.
surround yourself with likeminded people with similar lifestyles or even inspiring lifestyles. this eliminates judgement, jealousy projected on to you. it really is LEVELS to this life thing so yes, keep people that are on your level.
take pride in your career and run sh*t. be absolutely ruthless when it comes to your success (this does not mean be rude to people) it means to just be strong in your work ethic. go after you what you want.
you’re the catch. if a man isn’t acting right, DROP HIM. hold your expectations and only entertain those of great personalities, great careers, good finances, ambition etc. quality men are all you should ever entertain. do not tolerate disrespect, gaslighting and empty words. do NOT beg a man to act right. simply be the one that got away. hold your own. the only men i will ever be with are men that treat me like the best & only thing in this world. an unwavering, passionate and a powerhouse man.
just because you had bad experiences in the past, does not mean that everyone else in the world is like that. Take your lessons from those past experiences and apply that in your new experiences, and ensure you don’t encounter the same thing twice. To go through this life, thinking that love is hopeless, and that nothings ever going to work out for you because of a handful of bad situations is quite sad and an immature way to go about life. Things work out or somethings don’t, it’s life. move on and collect yourself. You’re not missing out on anything that is not for you.
do not be controlled. do not let a relationship suppress your personality. a good man would actually encourage you to live fully and expand.
OTHER RELATIONSHIPS- friends.
prioritize girls nights, lunches, events. connect. lean on them like they can lean on you. this is your extended family. there is literally nothing better than a sisterhood. make sure these relationships are genuine, loyal, and fulfilling.
carry yourself with class. never be raunchy.
always be prepared for everything. have your purse, having essentials, never underestimate.
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